Chapter 40
FORTY
Zephyrine
“So,” I say softly as I crawl into bed next to him.
His eyes are glued to the tablet he’s holding, his brow furrowed as he rapidly scans the screen.
I see the reflection of vault schematics in his glasses.
He’s been reviewing everything they’ve prepared for the tenth time today, even though I’m fairly certain he could recite the information backward in his sleep.
“Hmm.” He hums, his fingers running absently down my bare thigh as he continues reading. He doesn't even notice the fact that I’m naked except for a pair of panties.
“I think you should ravage your enemy’s daughter the night before you storm the castle for good luck,” I whisper before I kiss him just underneath his jaw, my hand wandering over his abs as I try to distract him from what he's reading.
“What?” he asks, clearly not listening as he digitally flips the page of the document.
“I said I think you should fuck your enemy’s daughter for good luck for tomorrow.” I’m blunter and louder this time. It gets his attention, his eyes lifting and going wide when he sees me—dropping the tablet in his lap and adjusting his glasses to get a better view.
“Christ. Have you been like that the whole time?” He sets the device on the nightstand, forgetting what he was doing, to wrap his hands around my waist and drag me into his lap.
“Yes. You’ve been too busy to notice.” I roll my lip in a mock pout, and he reaches up to kiss me.
“I’m sorry. I’m here now.” His eyes run down my neck and chest in appreciation, and he reaches out to cup my breast, his thumb brushing over my nipple as I spread my legs a little wider and settle over his lap. “What was that about my enemy’s daughter now?”
“You have her all to yourself, in your bed, nearly naked. You can do whatever you want with her,” I say softly, my fingertips exploring the peaks and valleys of his chest and stomach as we talk. I pause when I notice the bandage is off his burn, and it’s healing nicely.
“Does that mean my feisty little nun is gone?” He runs his palm up the center of my body, over my sternum, and takes the delicate gold cross on my necklace between his fingers. His eyes lift to study mine in expectation.
“No, but I thought you’d prefer the other tonight. Take out some of the anxiety and aggression while you wait.”
“Oh, hmm…” His brows knit together in contemplation of my offer.
“You don’t fantasize about that version?” I’m surprised.
“Oh, fuck yes, I do. But that’s not my favorite version.”
“What’s your favorite?” I ask, surprised. “The nun?”
“When you’re just you.” He lets the necklace go, and his hands ghost over my sides as he talks, studying every line and curve.
“I fantasize about meeting you before you went to the convent. Before you got married. Before I became this fucked-up version I am now. Your ex and mine don’t exist in this version either.
None of the baggage or the jaded pasts.” He sighs.
“Just us. We meet somewhere randomly when we’re out, and I ask you out on a date.
I take you somewhere you’d love. An old church.
A museum. We walk around the city, just trying to make it last, and then we go to a café.
We talk for hours before I walk you home.
You ask me upstairs, and I’m nervous as fuck because you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my fucking life…
” He trails off, and I’ve gotten so engrossed in his story that I’m in the fantasy with him, waiting for the ending.
He’s staring into the distance, lost in his thoughts.
“And then?” I prod him to continue. I need to know how it ends—how we end in this otherworldly version.
“I somehow manage not to fuck it up completely, and you take me up to your room. You kiss me and tell me you want me. So I ravage this perfect little body like my life depends on it. Because it does. I already know, even though we’ve just met.
Every second I’m with you I know that it’s exactly where I’m supposed to be.
I just need it to last another hour, another day.
So I take my time. All night until the sun comes up.
I bring you coffee in bed and spend the morning with my tongue between your thighs.
But you have to go to classes, so I walk you there too.
I want you safe, so I plan to register at the same university you attend.
I start visiting the same bakery where you get your breakfast. Haunting the café we visited.
Following you home from work to make sure you make it okay. ”
“You’re still a stalker in this version?” I’m amused at his consistency even in a fantasy world.
“Of course. That’s the only way I have a snowball’s chance in hell of winning you over.” He beams at me.
“What do I do about this relentless stalker?”
“Well, one day, when you’ve had a really long day, you’re so exhausted and frustrated with everything, you decide to just let yourself have an escape.
I’m right there, a couple of tables over at the café, and you remember how fucking good I am with my tongue.
” He pauses to study me, a wry grin on his lips, when I giggle with delight at the details of his story.
“So, despite all your misgivings, you agree to go out with me again. You sit through dinner and all my rambling just so you can get me back to bed. And it keeps happening again and again on your bad days. And sometimes the good ones too. You have an addiction, if we’re being honest. You can’t stop ending up in bed with me.
“Until I’m there so fucking often you can’t imagine me not there.
You realize you need me across from you at your little balcony table the next morning, where you drink your morning coffee with preposterous amounts of sugar and cream.
After I finish the morning ritual of worshipping your clit with my tongue, I stare at you, just soaking it all in.
How beautiful you are. How smart. How sweet.
Then, just before I’m about to leave, you finally tell me that you don’t think you can live without me. And I admit that I’m madly in—”
I press my fingers to his lips to stop him from saying the words I so desperately want to hear.
My eyes are watering at how perfect his story is.
How much I want it and wish it could be us, even if it’s only for a little while.
His forehead wrinkles, and his face falls when he sees the tears in my eyes.
“Zeph,” he mumbles against my fingers.
“I’m sorry. I love the story. That version sounds so beautiful.
I want it so badly. So very much, but I…
Don’t say the words. Not yet. I don’t want to jinx tomorrow.
” The tears fall, and I press close to him, the fear and vulnerability getting the better of me.
I want to be strong for him tonight. The sexy version that keeps his mind off tomorrow. But I’m failing already.
“How will it jinx tomorrow to tell you the truth?” He pulls back so he can look into my eyes.
“Because it’s too good to be true, and there’s so much we don’t know yet.
” Whether we’ll live or die. Whether he can get the evidence we need.
Whether he’ll look at me the same when he’s faced with the reality that I’m that man’s flesh and blood—the same one who took the people he loved away from him.
“I know that much.”
“Then save it, and tell me when we’re back here. Safe and sound tomorrow night.”
There’s a small jerk of his chin in acknowledgment of my wish. A long minute of silence passes with him just pulling me close and holding me tight before I speak again. I just want to pretend for a little while that tomorrow is just another day, the two of us locked in this perfect bubble together.
“So, since we can’t quite manage the walk through the cobblestone streets or the café, what do you want to do instead?” I ask, tracing my way over the brand on his chest. “And while we’re at it, am I allowed to know who did this to you?”
“Does it matter?” The melancholy has seeped into his tone, and I hope I haven’t ruined the night by pointing out the uncertainties of our future.
He might have stated them bluntly the other day, but I should have known better than to draw attention to them tonight.
The only thing I want in the world right now is to offer him the same kind of unflinching support he’s given me.
“I mean, I just want a brief word with them. Practice some of those knots you taught me. That kind of thing, you know?”
“I’m afraid we’re all out of thuribles at the moment, and I’m not thrilled about a matching set of burns.” His lip curls finally.
“You did it? Why?”
“I wanted the reminder with me. Always. I was afraid I might lose focus someday and forget how much it hurt with my parents. Enough time passes, and it dulls the pain, you know? I wanted to make the reminder permanent.”
I nod my understanding. I can imagine the kind of pain he was in, losing two parents who loved him. Just losing one I barely knew had torn my little heart in two. I lean down and place a kiss to the center of the brand, tracing it one last time before my hand falls to his thigh.
“I’m not sure there’s anyone quite like you.” Everything I can conjure up to say feels like a feeble attempt. I adore this man so much more than I have words for.
“I guess we’re an odd set then.” He grins and kisses me softly, his lashes low and his eyes heavy when he pulls back to look at me again.
“Do you want to be ravaged? Because I think I’d much rather take my time with you tonight.
” His palm splays across my back and presses me close as he kisses down my chest and over my sternum.
“I want to watch you fall apart for me slowly. Hear you make those quiet little prayers of devotion when I get you close.”
He leans forward and takes my nipple into his mouth, circling it softly with his tongue, and I can feel the echoing sensation building lower.
Feel it rising and ebbing as he takes the other nipple between his thumb and forefinger, pinching it until I let out a soft cry, and he gently sucks the pain away.
“I bet your body will confess the words you can’t say. What do you think?” He nips the swollen tip when I don’t answer him.
“I think I want you,” I say softly, rolling my hips, desperate for friction to sate the need he’s building inside me as I grind over his lap.
“How badly?” he asks, and I lean forward, bracing myself on his shoulders as I rock my hips back and forth, trying to get a better angle.
“Desperately.”
His hands slip down to my ass, and he cups my cheeks, his fingers digging into my flesh.
His tongue darts out, curling under the gold cross and sucking it into his mouth as he shifts his hips lower.
The position gives me better access to him.
I use the leverage to my advantage, working my clit over the ridge of his cock through the cotton until I’m practically panting.
It brings me so close, but it’s not enough to give me what I need.
“Take the panties off.” He nods at them.
I stand and drag them down my legs, letting them fall to the floorboards.
I watch him run his hands under the waistband of his boxer briefs as I climb back onto the bed next to him.
He lays me down, settling himself between my legs and kisses down and up my throat.
He lifts his lashes to look me in the eyes as he slips inside me, taking me slow and sweet like we have all the years we could possibly want ahead of us.
He takes his time, kissing me softly and running his hands over every inch of my body. He torments me, dragging me to the edge and back again until I finally beg him for mercy. And so he delivers, taking us both crashing over until we’re both a perfect mess.
He presses his lips to my heart with one last featherlight kiss. We lay there together in the quiet for a long while, while our hearts settle and our breathing slows. His voice has a raspy, sentimental edge that I haven’t heard before when he speaks again.
“Sometimes good things are going to be true, even if the past tries to trick us into believing they’re impossible. You taught me that.”