Chapter Nine
CHAPTER NINE
Weston
" D o you have any idea why she came back, and why she chose now?"
I look over at Jasper and shake my head. It seems as if they've all asked me some version of this question, and I still don't have an answer. "No, she still hasn't told me why she's here. I almost don't want to ask her because I'm afraid it's going to piss me off."
"That's understandable," he grunts as he moves the traffic barrel. We're on a road project today that requires setting up and moving barrels for probably the next four hours. At least we'll stay warm.
"She didn't tell me why she's here. I don't expect her to. And at this point, I just don't even know what to think. There's a part of me that looks at her and sees my wife." I shrug my shoulders. "The woman that I wanted to be with for the rest of my life, that was my plan with her. Now I just, I don't know what to think or what to even do. I'm so angry because we were set up for a great marriage. Then she left, and I don't know why. I feel like I've spent a good portion of my life wondering where she is, what she was doing. Then she showed up on my fucking doorstep. And none of those answers have come."
Jasper whistles through his teeth. "I'm not going to pretend like I understand because I don't. My situation was so much different than yours was ever going to be. Daisy, to me, had been a means to an end. But here you are. You, you love her. I didn't love Daisy, not at first. At least not to the point where I wanted to admit it to myself."
I want to refute what he's saying, tell him I don't love Melanie. But the fact of the matter is, I do. I have for most of my fucking life. And here she is, standing in front of me, asking me to take her hand again. But I'm scared. Angry.
I'm so angry.
There was a point when she left the first time, all I wanted was for her to come back. I would have taken her any way I could have gotten her. But not this Weston. He's stronger. He's more stubborn, maybe to the point where I'm my own detriment. I sigh heavily, tilting my head back. "Fuck, I just don't even know what to do. Why don't you just tell me?"
He shakes his head. "Hell no," he laughs bitterly. "I do good to deal with my own life, much less another person's. No one can tell you what to do except for yourself. I wish I could help you, but only you know what you're willing to put up with."
"Yeah, I wish you could too." I sigh heavily. I've never been the type of person who's had trouble making decisions, but this one means more than anything else ever has.
When I pull into my driveway that night, Kara's car is there. I thought for sure she'd be gone by now. But when I step out of my truck, I smell the meat that she's smoking and my stomach growls. I hope with everything I have that she's going to let us have dinner from what she's cooked because it smells amazing and I feel as if we deserve it since I'm letting her use my smoker. I stomp my way onto the porch and then have a seat on the bench next to the door, taking my boots off.
When I step into the kitchen, I'm surprised to see Kara and Melanie sitting at the table sharing beers and laughing. In that moment, I'm taken back to one night where Melanie and I had hung out with friends, she's laughing, her cheeks flushed with happiness, and this is how I've wanted to remember her for a long time. When I tried to remember her this way, it was as if my memory was blocked. Any time I would think about her, it would have a cloud of darkness over it and I'd almost hope that she wasn't doing well because I wasn't doing well.
And while I know that's really not fair, that's how I felt.
Seeing her in this environment is both surprising and disheartening because if we can't be happy together, then do I really want us to be happy separately? Her eyebrows raise as she looks at me as if she's waiting to see how I'm going to react.
"Damn, it smells good outside. You've outdone yourself, Kara, and I hope that means you made us dinner."
Hopefully, all of that sounded normal, because right now I feel anything but.