20 - Damaged Goods #2
Dad had offered to pick me up. I hadn’t driven here because I wanted to drink. I wondered if Dan was okay to drive, but then I realized we hadn’t actually had that much to drink throughout the evening. I felt intoxicated, but it was due to the company of this man more than anything else.
The parking lot was deserted, aside from a few cars. Stars glittered overhead, and the moon was full and sensual. Maybe I should have been more careful at being in a parking lot with a guy whom I had just met that evening, but I didn’t know what it was … Dan just made me feel safe.
We walked to his car. It was big and black. I missed having his hand on my thigh. He opened the door for me, and I climbed into the passenger seat, sinking into the leather. He got around the other side and smiled. The car roared with power, and I felt it thrum through me.
I glanced at his hands curling around the steering wheel and imagined them sinking into my thigh.
I rolled my lower lip into my mouth and stifled a whimper.
It had been a long four months. I was about ready to burst, but the next guy I fucked was going to mean something, and I wanted it to be the best fuck I ever had.
He pulled up outside my house. The lights were still on. I knew Dad would be up, waiting for me, still protective even though I was twenty-one.
“Here we are,” he said.
“Here we are,” I repeated.
“There’s something I want to do before you go in,” he said.
I was about to ask him what it was when he reached around the nape of my neck and pulled me into him.
Our lips crashed together, and this sizzling pleasure swam through my mind.
It felt hazy, as though I was getting drunk all over again, but I knew he didn’t have that much alcohol on his lips.
He was tender and passionate all at the same time, and I honestly hadn’t realized that kissing could be so sensual and arousing.
I loved the feeling of his hand around my neck, gently pressing into me, giving me a sense of his strength.
I was blown away by it all, tingling all over.
My lips hung open, and I was panting for breath.
My blood boiled, and my skin was flushed.
I think, in that moment, I would have done anything he asked me to do.
Instead, he got out of the car and opened the door for me.
It was that moment that I realized my panties were wet, and the hot liquid was inching down my thighs.
I really regretted wearing such a short skirt.
I stood before him, tilting my head up to look at him. “I really enjoyed tonight,” I told him, my voice trembling.
“I did, as well. We’ll have to do it again.” He took my hand, squeezing it tightly.
He stood there as I walked back to my house, only pulling away when I reached the door. Tension was coiling within me, and I tried to rush upstairs, but Dad was there.
“I take it you had a good night, then, considering you’re home so late,” he said.
“It was, Dad, and I’m sorry. I just lost track of time. I thought you might have gone to bed, so he gave me a ride home.”
“You know that I was always going to wait up for you. I want my little girl to be happy. I’m glad you had fun. If this is a good man, then make sure you hold on to him,” he said.
“Thanks, Dad. I really need to head to bed, though,” I said, although not for the reasons he likely thought.
I scurried upstairs and slammed the door behind me, flinging myself onto the bed.
I tore my clothes off, for my skin was on fire, and I felt as though I was going to burn if I didn’t get them off.
I ripped my skirt away then pulled my panties down, moaning as I felt the wetness that had gathered there.
As soon as I pressed my fingers against my sensitive flesh, my eyes rolled to the back of my head and pleasure twisted within me.
I thought of his kiss, and his hand, and all the things that he could have done to me if he wanted.
I wasn’t sure how he had done it, but it was as though he had cast a spell on me.
I ached for him and as my fingers slipped deep inside me.
I felt all the waves of pleasure flooding and flowing through me.
I clutched the sheets tightly as I brought myself to orgasm.
I was basically on the cusp already just from his kiss.
Again, I marveled at the fact that a single kiss could have so much power.
I needed to see him again. I needed more.
I panted as I lay there, wet, and burning, and sticky, when a terrible thought entered my mind.
What if Dan was a good man? I wasn’t sure I deserved a good man.
I was damaged goods. Eventually, he was going to see that, and then what?
Would he just discard me? I had been through so much, and my heart had been wounded enough to make me wonder if I was even capable of love again.
I ended up wrapping my arms around my pillow and clinging to it through the night, wishing I could make sense of all the mess that was in my head.
***
Dan sent me a message the following morning. I was almost too afraid to open it. Usually, men liked playing it cool. Usually, they liked making a girl wait.
Not him.
He told me that he wanted to see me again.
It was written there, plain as day. My hands trembled at work as I stared at the message, a million thoughts running through my mind.
A part of me wanted to run away and avoid all this, because then I wouldn’t have to ask myself the hard questions about what was going to happen next and what I was capable of handling, but I knew I couldn’t run away.
Not after the kiss that he had given me.
Not after I had thought about all the things that could happen because of that kiss.
The molten core of me started twitching again.
I quickly typed out a reply, and we arranged to go out again that evening. I couldn’t believe he wanted to see me twice in two nights, but I wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity.
I rushed home and got changed then rushed back out to meet him.
***
We met in the city. We got a bite to eat, not a full meal, just something sweet and filling. He brushed my hand. He hadn’t kissed me again yet. I felt as though I had to address it. I couldn’t look at him without staring at his lips and thinking about it.
“Dan … about that kiss the other night? I just … I wanted to say that it was … well, it was incredible. I’m not sure I’ve ever had a kiss that intense before, and I just wanted to check if it was the same for you?” I asked.
He smiled, as though he found the question amusing.
“It was,” he said. “And I’m looking forward to doing it again.
” He stared directly at me and right through me, as though he was seeing me stripped of everything that I had tried to protect myself with.
He just wouldn’t say when it was going to happen again.
I was going to have to wait, and that was definitely going to be cruel torture.
We walked through a park. It was late enough that it was quiet.
The air was calm, the breeze was nonexistent, and we walked close enough that we could have held hands, if I had been braver.
He continued to make me laugh, and I was just waiting for that moment when he was going to kiss me again.
We stopped in another small café to have a hot chocolate, and then we continued on our walk.
This time, I was more open with him and felt more comfortable with talking.
I wondered what people thought as they saw us pass. Did they see us as a couple in love?
We came to a children’s park and entered. The sun had dipped below the horizon now, and we were shrouded in darkness. There was nobody else around.
He took me to the swings and placed me on them.
I just about managed to fit, having to squeeze my curved hips onto the seat.
He placed his hands on my back and pushed me higher and higher.
I felt the rush of air. I had forgotten what a simple joy this could be.
Then I settled, and he slowed my descent.
He stood behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders. My breath faltered, and I could feel something happening between us again. He led me off the swings and turned me around to face him. Then he was upon me.
This time, one of his hands pressed against the small of my back while another rested against my cheek.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back with equal passion, moaning softly as I did so.
He was a master artist with his lips and stoked a deep fire within me, but the more he kissed me, the more I felt afraid and anxious, worried that a moment was going to come when he was going to ask me to do something that I wasn’t ready for, a moment when I would have to decide if I was going to fall in love with him or not.
I just couldn’t see myself doing that again.
I pulled away. It took all the strength I could muster, but I pulled away.
I saw the confusion on his face, and I hated it.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, although it came out as more of a croak.
“I just don’t know if I can do this. I …
I need to be honest with you, Dan. My last boyfriend was …
well, he was an ass. He scared me and took me to this place where I felt so out of control, and I’m not sure I can go there again.
This really feels great between us, but I can’t just let myself go like this.
I’m not sure I’m ready. To be honest, I’m not sure if I’m ever going to be able to fall in love again. ”
Dan looked at me, and then he smirked. He leaned in and whispered in my ear, “Then it’s lucky that there are other things in this world, things like passion, like obedience, like submission.
You’ve gotten the wrong idea about me, Nadia.
I don’t want you to be my girlfriend. Oh no.
I want you to be my little submissive slut. ”