Chapter 8 #2
If she’d come from a world where nothing was freely given and every kindness was a trick, as I suspected, that was all she’d know. But that wasn’t my way. More than anything, I wanted her to know she didn’t owe me a damn thing and never would.
And I was less than a second from saying so when she took a deep breath and squared her shoulders.
“You asked what you could do to prove yourself,” she said.
My wolf leapt to his feet, his ears tipped forward in excitement. I almost felt my ears doing the same. “Yes,” I said.
“How long have you been in the security business?” she asked, her tone brisk.
“Almost twenty years.”
She blinked. She must have guessed my age as younger than forty-two. “Permits and licenses current?”
“All of them,” I assured her.
“Willing to sign a nondisclosure and confidentiality agreement?”
I couldn’t help but chuckle at the rapid-fire questions. “Is this a job interview?”
“Of a sort,” she said with a hint of humor in her tone.
“Then yes,” I said. If there were forms to fill out and she wanted to see my accreditations, I’d do that too.
She went quiet again, but not for long. My wolf quivered with anticipation.
“Here’s my offer,” Alice said finally. “I have a full day ahead of me, as you heard. Come with me.”
Come with me.
For a beat, I wondered if I’d heard right. “In what capacity?”
“Colleague.”
Well, that did explain the questions. I smiled. “Colleague, huh?”
“That’s the offer.” Her tone was still brisk. “I’ve got to do some work at my client’s home, then track down four people who might have taken something from her house—something that might be dangerous.”
That wiped my smile away. “How dangerous?”
Alice raised one shoulder in a half shrug. “I’m not sure yet. It’s a magical item of some sort, possibly an object of power, or a focus. I’m still looking into that.” She sighed. “Of course, this is all assuming you can take a day off from work. Is that even an option?”
“Already taken care of,” I said. “I told my business partner last night that I wouldn’t be in. He’s got everything covered. I thought you might need me today.”
Her entire body tensed, and she scowled. “Need you?”
I regretted my phrasing, but I couldn’t take it back. And despite feeling like I’d stepped onto thin ice, I needed her to understand why I’d said it.
“Yes, need me,” I said. “When I texted Ron last night, I was holding you on your front porch and you were unconscious. You’d been burned, gone into shock, and were unresponsive for five hours.
I thought you might be dying in my arms. You’d made it very clear I couldn’t take you to the hospital—for reasons I haven’t even asked about, I might add—so I sat there helpless, listening to you breathe and waiting to see if you would live or die. ”
All the visceral horror and fear of those miserable hours came roaring back. I needed to work through those memories and feelings myself.
Alice fidgeted and bit her lip. “Sean—”
She didn’t want to be reminded of what she’d gone through.
I understood that. But I didn’t like the feeling I was getting that she wanted to move on as if the accident and her near-fatal injuries had never happened, and as if it didn’t matter to her or anyone else.
Because it sure as hell mattered to Malcolm and me. Natalie too.
Alice mattered, whether she thought so or not.
And I still wanted to explain why it was so important for me to be here that I’d taken the day off.
“Alice, let me say this, please,” I said.
She went quiet, her arms around her knees and her expression guarded.
“I took the day off in case you still hadn’t woken up or you needed someone to take care of you,” I said.
“Even though you hate relying on anyone’s help and get unreasonably angry about it.
Fortunately, thanks to Malcolm and me and the healing spells, you’re well enough to drag yourself out of bed and carry on with this investigation, and I’m free to be a part of your day, as a colleague. ”
I took a chance and rested my hand on her foot, which was under the covers. I would have liked to touch her skin, but I didn’t want to overstep a boundary in the middle of a difficult conversation and destroy the fragile bridge I’d tried to build.
“And despite your tendency to think the worst of me and my intentions,” I finished, “I’d rather be with you than anywhere else right now.”
Her eyes widened. Maybe she wasn’t used to someone telling her that.
A parade of surprisingly overt emotions crossed her face in the wake of my words: guilt, which made my insides twist; shame and anger, which hurt too; and uncertainty edged with fear. It was the fear that stung me the most. I’d swear she had nothing to fear from me if I thought she’d believe me.
I’d have to show her I could be trusted and that nothing I did was in expectation of anything in return. And I would, if she’d let me.
“I’m sorry,” Alice said, her expression bruised but resolute. “If you still want to come with me, you can.”
That she thought she owed me an apology made my gut twinge all over again. And the tightness in her voice made me wonder if she thought she owed me for what I’d done after all.
“I’m used to being on my own,” she said quietly.
“And you’re right: I don’t like relying on other people or needing help.
I’m unreasonable about it, and I’m liable to try to take your head off at any time for no good reason.
Sometimes I’m rude, and I’m no good at being friendly because I’ve never had many friends.
They were just one more thing that could be used against me by the people who wanted to control me. ”
Torn between gratitude that she felt able to be so brutally honest with me and fury and grief for how cruelly she’d been treated, I reached out to touch her arm and offer comfort.
She leaned away. Reluctantly, I let my arm fall back to my side.
“I’m not looking for sympathy,” she said in a flat tone that made my stomach lurch and my wolf pace uneasily.
“I’m just stating facts. I’m trying to figure out if I can trust you, and maybe letting you come with me today will help me answer that question.
” She met my gaze, suddenly fierce again.
“Knowing all that, if you want to go with me and find out the hard way how difficult I am to be around, then let’s do it. ”
That tiny, fragile bridge strengthened under my feet. Under our feet.
I’d figured my odds of getting to see Alice again after this at fifty-fifty at best. There for a few minutes, I’d felt the scales tip precipitously in the other direction.
For that matter, yesterday—had it really been less than twenty-four hours ago?
—when I’d stood on her porch, I been absolutely certain I didn’t have the proverbial snowball’s chance in hell.
So for about five seconds, I felt…giddy. And my brain spun like tires on ice.
Alice was watching me, her head tilted, as if wondering what I was thinking and what I planned to do.
I planned to make this chance count.
I stretched with my arms over my head, feeling joints pop and muscles loosen and my wolf’s satisfaction wash through me in a wave of warmth. And Alice watched me stretch, her gaze traveling down the length of my body and then taking its time returning to my face.
I grinned. “So who gets the shower first?”
She smiled, and it felt like the sun came out. “Me. I’m a mess and I stink, and it’ll take me longer to get ready with all this hair.”
What would she say if I told her she was beautiful with her hair tousled from sleep and I didn’t care about the lingering odors from the accident? Or if I confessed she smelled like vanilla and honey and home to me?
“It’s a deal,” I said instead. “I need to go down to your car and get my go-bag out of the trunk.”
“I’ll drop the wards so you can go in and out.
” She slid to the edge of the bed, then glanced back over her shoulder with her brows raised.
“Do put some pants and a shirt on, though. My next-door neighbor is always on her porch in the morning and she’s eighty-three.
I’m not sure her heart could withstand seeing a werewolf in his boxers walking by twenty feet from her front steps. ”
“I will get dressed,” I promised. “I’m always kind to mages, ghosts, and little old ladies.”
“Don’t lay it on too thick, Sean.” She rose and headed to the bathroom, her tone light. “I might start to think you’re bullshitting me.”
“Never,” I said.
If she noticed my earnest tone, she didn’t let on. She just chuckled and shut the bathroom door.
I stepped into my pants, stuck my feet in my boots without bothering with socks, and headed downstairs. The wards dropped just as I reached the last step.
She’d lowered her wards for me. And her guard, just a little. I wondered what Malcolm would think of that when he came back.
I put on my undershirt, which still lay on the porch swing, and took my bloody Maclin Security polo shirt with me to the car. I got my black duffel bag out of Alice’s trunk, shut it, and turned.
A silver-haired woman sitting in a wicker chair on the porch of the yellow house to the right of Alice’s caught my attention. From behind thick glasses, she eyed me over the rim of her teacup.
I raised my hand in greeting. “Good morning, ma’am.”
She tutted and shook her head.
Smiling, I returned to the porch, collected my bloody Maclin Security polo shirt and Ben’s cooler, and brought everything inside.
The shower was running upstairs when I came in, so I took a detour to Alice’s living room to look through her three neat crates of vinyl albums. I was pleased to discover I’d guessed right about most of her collection, and I was pleasantly surprised by the rest of what she had.
Maybe we could visit a record store and go bin-diving together. Then out for ice cream, so I could see what she picked.
Out of curiosity, I snuck a peek in her freezer, but she didn’t have any ice cream—mint chocolate chip or otherwise. In fact, the freezer had almost nothing in it. Neither did the fridge. And her pantry was just as sparse.
My wolf started pacing again, his worry forming a knot in my gut. Mate has no food. Mate is hungry.
Alice isn’t going hungry, I told him. She’s probably been too busy lately to get to the grocery store.
He stared back at me, eyes golden and lip curled, utterly unconvinced.
Shit. I wasn’t going to get any peace about this.
The wolf couldn’t stand the idea of someone in our care going hungry or not being safe.
Neither could I. But something told me trying to buy Alice groceries would be crossing a boundary.
Maybe she’d let me buy her lunch. We could work up to grocery shopping.
I took my bag upstairs and set it on the floor near the bathroom door. Then I stripped down to my boxers again and sprawled on the bed to wait for Alice to get done in the bathroom.
There was a small guest bathroom down the hall, but I liked listening to the shower and the scents of shampoo and body wash drifting out from under the door. It was easy to imagine Alice under the spray washing her hair and getting sudsy. Those thoughts had a very predictable effect on my groin.
And my wolf, who stared at me, golden-eyed. Play with mate.
Alice could have invited me to join her if she’d wanted, but she hadn’t. So that was a boundary.
Not unless she asks, I told my wolf firmly.
Disgruntled, he huffed and put his head on his paws.
My phone buzzed.
I figured it was Ron texting about a work issue, but when I glanced at the screen the message was from my beta’s wife, Delia.
Delia: I’m having lunch with Lily today. She said she’d texted you about getting together again for dinner, but you’d gotten busy and forgotten to reply. Can I tell her you’ll text her a date and time?
My wolf rose, stiff-legged, and growled.
Lily Anderson was the daughter of a local alpha, Zachary Anderson, whose brother Matthew was on the Were Ruling Council. The extended Anderson family was a major force among local packs and in shifter politics.
Delia and Jack thought Lily would be a perfect mate for me. I’d gone on one date with her to placate Delia, and to confirm my suspicions about the kind of person Lily was.
She was cold, ambitious, devious, spoiled, and in every other way the direct opposite of the kind of woman I was interested in. I couldn’t stand her.
And I had in fact texted her back and declined her dinner invitation. So either she’d told Delia that and Delia thought I’d forgotten—which wasn’t likely—or Lily had lied about whether I’d replied.
Either way, my answer to Delia’s question was the same.
Me: Absolutely not.
I set the phone on the bed and folded my hands behind my head, listening to Alice sing quietly in the shower. She was a good singer. And that was an Eagles song she was singing. One of my favorites.
I closed my eyes, inhaled deeply, and smiled.
My phone buzzed again, but I ignored it. I had a feeling it was Delia and she wasn’t happy about my response. I’d deal with that later.
Alice had invited me to come along as a colleague—essentially, her partner for a day.
And the more I thought about it, the more I realized this was even better than drinks at a bar or dinner and a movie because it was a chance to prove not just my trustworthiness but my skills and usefulness as an investigator too.
She was everything I’d waited for.
More than that, she deserved to be safe and happy. She deserved to be able to trust someone and have them at her back—to have a pack at her back. She deserved to find peace and heal her scars, especially the ones that didn’t show.
It would be my privilege to give her all of that and more, no matter what I’d need to do or how long it would take for her to feel secure.
My wolf curled up in my mind. We found her, he said, eyes golden. She will be our heart.
And for the first time in days, he closed his eyes and slept.