23. Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Three
Robert
Scooting the bouquet of flowers on the table a little to the right, I frowned down at them, and pushed them back to their original position.
“Stop messing, sweetheart,” Jackson urged from the kitchen, where he was pulling the pot roast out of the oven. The house smelled amazing, and my stomach grumbled in anticipation of the meal. “The table looks perfect. And very fancy.”
“It’s not fancy,” I muttered, straightening a fork at the setting in front of me. “But I want it to look nice.”
Strong arms encircled me from behind, and I leaned into Jackson’s solid bulk. His hands caressed over my slightly rounder tummy. “You need to relax. ”
I nodded, nibbling on my lip in concentration. “Oh! We don’t have a high chair for Julianna. What are we–”
Jackson spun me in his arms, his hands splaying over my ass, and he kissed me soundly as the doorbell rang. “It will be fine. I’m sure we can improvise something. Relax, please. It’s not good for the baby for you to be this tense.”
Running footsteps pounded down the hallway from the living room, where Aiden had been watching a movie. “They’re here!”
“Ah, you know better than to open that door,” Jackson chided, striding over to the door that Aiden was determinedly trying to unlock.
He huffed, “But, we know it’s not stangers. It’s Mr. Wyatt and Sheriff Becks.”
“Strangers,” I corrected softly, my hands swinging nervously at my sides, as I gave the table one last glance.
We were telling Wyatt and Becks about the pregnancy tonight and I couldn’t remember ever being more nervous in my entire life over something. Not even leaving Jane had me as in knots as I was now.
Somehow, I had managed to keep the pregnancy a secret the last four weeks, which was a miracle in itself. Thankfully, with my work schedule, I was able to make my appointment with Finn in the afternoon. It also gave me time to go home and nap, which I found I desperately needed each day .
Being pregnant at almost fifty was worlds different than being pregnant in my early twenties. I was exhausted all the time. And I seemed to have twice as many aches and pains, much earlier than the last time. Luckily, the pills Finn had prescribed for my morning sickness had kept it mostly at bay, and I had only been sick once or twice, first thing in the morning.
I was at ten weeks now, and everything was moving along well. Fingers crossed it stayed that way, but it was time to tell our respective children that we were having a baby. Wyatt would be fine with it, I hoped, but I wasn’t sure if Aiden would really understand what was happening. A small part of me still worried about taking the place of Levi in his life.
Jackson and I had spent practically every day together the last few weeks, in some capacity. Many nights, he and Aiden would stop by my place after he was off work, and we’d have dinner together. Most weekends I ended up spending at their house. Aiden understood his dad and I were dating, and we got along great, but a baby was a permanent thing. Still, for me being the only person he had ever seen Jackson with, there had been no drama from Aiden and I was glad of that.
Jackson opened the door, scooting Aiden out of the way so Wyatt and Becks, who was carrying Julianna on his hip, could enter.
“Come in,” he told them, while I fluttered nervously in the background by the dining room table, like a fifties house omega.
Get it together, Robert , I told myself, my stomach twisting with nerves. I did not need to throw up now.
“Something smells amazing,” Wyatt sniffed the air, smiling at me. “Hey, Pops.”
Julianna made grabby hands for me, yelling loudly, “Hops! Hops! Down!”
Becks chuckled, setting the toddler on her chubby legs. “Yes, ma’am. Here to do your bidding, ma’am.”
Jackson laughed, closing the door, then frowned at me when I scooped Julianna up, nuzzling her neck. She’d just seen me a few hours before at the daycare, but I never got tired of spending time with her. But I knew Jackson was worried about me picking her up. He wouldn’t let me lift more than a gallon of milk when we were together, even though I told him I was perfectly fine and I was careful not to overdo it.
“Can I get you something to drink?” He clapped Becks on the shoulder, moving into the kitchen and giving me a look when he passed me that told me how he felt about me picking up too heavy objects. Scrunching my nose at him, I rolled my eyes, making funny faces at Julianna.
“I wouldn’t turn a beer down, if you have it,” Becks answered, while Wyatt was greeting Aiden and taking in what he could see of Jackson’s house .
“It’s a nice house,” he told me, coming over and taking the beer Becks offered him.
Nodding my agreement, I said, “It is.”
“Well, dinner is ready, if everyone brought their appetites,” Jackson carried a tray laden down with pot roast, roasted potatoes and carrots to the table. “Aiden, can you grab the rolls for me, please?”
“Yep,” Aiden carefully carried the basket with the warm bread to the table, handing it to his dad.
“We don’t have a highchair, I’m afraid,” I told Wyatt. “We didn’t think to grab the one from my house.”
Wyatt waved my concern away, taking the baby from me. “We’ll just hold her. She can just eat from our plates.”
“Are you sure?” My hands were wringing again now that they weren’t occupied with my granddaughter, and I grabbed the back of a chair to stop them.
Wyatt took a seat, settling Julianna on his lap. “We’re used to it. Sit, Pops. I’m starving.”
“Me too!” Aiden grinned at him across the table, rubbing his belly.
Jackson nodded his head at me, indicating for me to sit, and silently telling me to also chill the fuck out with his knowing little grin. He was right, I knew he was right. I was being a nervous nelly. Sitting, I grabbed my water and took a sip, clearing my throat as soon as everyone had filled their plates .
Aiden was busy shoveling carrots in his mouth, and Wyatt glanced over at me as he handed a piece of potato to Julianna to munch on.
“Ah, so, we have some news,” I stammered, putting my fork down on my plate. Might as well just jump straight into the fire.
Becks took a sip of his beer, glancing from Jackson to me, while Wyatt gave me an expectant look. When neither Jackson nor I said anything, Wyatt joked, “Pops, if you’re going to tell me you’re moving in with Jackson, we know. You’ve pretty much been here every weekend the last month, so I’ve been expecting it. Not sure what we’re going to do with the cabin yet,” he shrugged, giving Becks a knowing look, “but we’ve been kicking around a few ideas.”
Blinking at my son, I looked across the table at Jackson, startled. Honestly, moving in with Jackson hadn’t really crossed my mind, but Wyatt wasn’t wrong. We had practically been living in each other’s pockets for the last few weeks. The only reason Jackson hadn’t stayed the night at my place was mainly because of Aiden. We both thought it was better for him to have the stability of waking up in his own bed each morning and having his things around him. He’d had enough upheaval in his life the last few months and was just starting to get comfortable in his routine since their move .
“Oh, ah, that’s not what’s happening.” Mumbling, I looked down at my plate of half-eaten food. My carrots were pushed to the side, because I was pretty sure they were the culprits that had been giving me heartburn lately. Or maybe it was just my nerves that was the cause.
“It’s not happening yet ,” Jackson’s emphasis on the last word had my head jerking up, and he was giving me that mysterious little grin of his again. Widening my eyes, I pursed my lips at him and tilted my head to the side, silently questioning him.
Julianna spit her carrot on Wyatt’s plate, breaking the weird as fuck vibe in the air, and we all laughed. I was feeling the same way about my carrots too.
Taking a deep breath, I exhaled noisily. “We’re…we…ah…”
Well, fuck, this was harder than I thought it would be. Which was saying a lot, because I hadn’t thought it would be easy.
“We’re having a baby,” Jackson jumped in, saving me, and all eyes at the table focused on him. “Robert and I are expecting a baby. In November. It was a surprise, but a happy one. And we hope you will all be just as happy for us.”
Silence hung over the table, thick and uncomfortable, and Wyatt wouldn’t meet my eyes. Just stared down at his plate, saying nothing. Aiden was pretty much doing the same thing, using his fork to push around what was left of his dinner.
Finally, Becks broke the silence with his deep voice. “Congratulations, both of you. A baby is always wonderful news.”
“Is it?” Wyatt croaked, his voice breaking on the words, and my heart hammered in my chest.
Aiden scraped his fork across his plate, making me wince at the screeching noise it made. “Wait, does this mean I’m going to be a big brother?”
“Yes, it does,” Jackson answered him gently. “How do you feel about that?”
Aiden grinned broadly and fist pumped the air. “Yes! I’ve always wanted a brother or sister!”
Jackson grinned back at him, “I know.”
I’d been worried that we should tell Aiden by himself, not sure if he would understand or even be happy for us, but Jackson felt telling our families together would be a good thing. Glancing at my son, who was staring down at his plate, face set in a stony mask of I wasn’t quite sure what, I cringed. The look of shock and anger on Wyatt’s face had all my old insecurities bubbling straight up to the surface.
“Wyatt, I’m sorry–” I covered his hand with mine, but he jerked it away like he had touched a hot flame .
He pushed away from the table so fast, his chair scraped across the floor noisily. Handing Julianna over to Becks, he tersely said, “I need some air.”
The front door slammed after him, making me flinch.
Becks settled the baby on his lap, kissing the top of her dark curls. “It’s not that he’s not happy for you. We both are. I think it was just a shock for him.”
Holding up a hand to stop him, I shook my head. “I know why he’s upset.”
I truly did think I understood some of what Wyatt was feeling. But I had also had time to think about a lot of things since finding out I was pregnant. One being I deserved this chance at happiness with Jackson. If that included having a baby, even at my age, I was determined to enjoy it and make this experience different from the last time.
Pushing my chair back, I placed my napkin on the table. “Excuse me.”
“Maybe give him a minute,” Becks suggested, but I waved him off.
“I’ve been giving people minutes my entire life,” I declared, “and frankly, I’m over it.”
Finding Wyatt seated on one of the rocking chairs Jackson had on the front porch, his long legs stretched out in front of him, I stood and waited for my sullen adult child to acknowledge my presence .
Finally giving up with an annoyed huff of air, I stepped over his legs and took a seat on the matching rocker next to his. Honestly, I had thought the five-year-old was going to be the hard sell, not the twenty-six-year-old.
Pushing a foot against the concrete of the porch, I took solace in the gentle back and forth motion of the chair. After a minute of it soothing me, I quietly said, “I understand why you’re angry. At least I think I do.”
Wyatt said nothing, just tilted his head a little, staring out into the darkness of the night and Jackson’s front yard. “I’m not mad,” he mumbled.
Raising one brow at him, I silently called him on his bullshit.
“Fine, okay!” He tossed his hands in the air. “I was angry, for a minute. For just a second I thought oh fuck, no. Because I used to pray that I wouldn’t have a sibling. Do you want to know why?”
Swallowing hard, I nodded, even though I wasn’t at all sure I did want to know.
“Because I used to think if there were ever two people on the planet who shouldn’t have ever had kids, it was you and mother.”
Pain slammed into my chest so hard, it felt like I had been punched by an invisible fist, and I gasped loudly as all the breath rushed from my lungs.
“And for just a second in there, that feeling came back to me.” Wyatt turned to me, and I blinked furiously, trying to not let the burning tears I could feel at the back of my eyes fall. “But it’s Mother that shouldn’t have had more kids, not you, Pops. And I’m really happy that you are getting this chance. That she didn’t steal that from you.”
The tears fell then, like a dam had broken and the flood waters spilled over. Swiping at them, I muttered, “It’s just hormones.”
Wyatt gave me a soft smile, then wrapped one arm around my shoulders and pulled me in for an awkward side hug. “Sure, Pops. I’m sorry I was a shithead in there. You didn’t deserve that. I am happy for you and Jackson.”
“You don’t think I’m too old?” Sniffling, I wiped at my nose with the back of my hand.
“Stop with the old man crap,” Wyatt grumbled. “You act like you have one foot in the grave. And Becks was older than you when we had Julianna. Yeah, yeah, I know, he’s an alpha and it’s different. But fuck that. You have a hot younger alpha who looks at you with heart eyes, and you’re having his baby. As Wade and Seth would say,” he snapped his fingers three times at me, making sort of a Z pattern in the air with his hand, “get it!”
Snort laughing at his imitation of his two over-the-top friends, I felt the tension start to ease from my tense shoulders. “Heart eyes?”
Wyatt stared at me with astonished eyes. “Pops, Jackson is head over heels for you. It makes me so happy to see you being treated like you deserve by an alpha.”
We were silent for a minute, the only sound the creaking of the chairs, and the night bugs chirping.
“Wyatt, I–” pausing, because I needed a minute to form my thoughts, and I was about to open a door I had tried very hard to keep closed. But keeping it closed did neither of us any good, not really. “I want you to know that no matter what happened while you were growing up, you were wanted. I wanted you. I was so happy when I was pregnant with you. I used to read to you before you were born. I’d feel you moving inside me, and I was so unbelievably happy. I wish I would have–I should have–stood up to your mother when she insisted on nannies when you were just a couple of months old. I should have done a lot of things that I didn’t. And all I can do is tell you how very sorry I am. Looking back, I think not having access to you after she hired the first nanny, not being even allowed to see you for more than a few minutes a day…I fell into a kind of black hole.”
Swiping at my tears, I took a shaky breath. “I’ve had some time to look back on it, and I’m fairly certain I was depressed, and I just gave up, instead of fighting for you. After your intelligence was verified, and your mother became obsessed with getting you into the best schools, exploiting you, really, well, I just felt like you didn’t need me and it was too late. You were so independent, so smart, so cold even, and I just thought you didn’t need me. I will regret it all for the rest of my life, but I will not make the same mistakes with this baby.” My hand fell protectively over my tummy. “I’m really happy about this baby, Wyatt. I’m excited, and it feels like a second chance, a fresh start.”
Wyatt turned to me, his face a mixture of emotions I couldn’t discern. “I will always need you, Pops. Always.”
This time he pulled me in for a proper hug, his arms squeezing me tightly. Closing my eyes, I savored the feeling of just hugging my son. For so many years, he hadn’t been available for me to hug him, and I had honestly thought at times I would never know what it felt like to hold him close.
“I love you, Pops,” Wyatt whispered in my ear.
“I love you too, son.”