Chapter 24 I needed to move on
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
I needed to move on
Ruby
I took a deep breath, willing away the tears threatening to fall. I wished I could skip to the point in my life when talking about Noah no longer hurt. I was over feeling this way.
A light knock had me glancing up. Ryker eased the door open, his gaze softening when he saw me sitting on the edge of his bed.
“Rubz.”
That was all it took. The tears broke free.
Hurriedly closing the door behind him, he rushed to the bed and sat right beside me, so close I could feel the heat of his skin through his tee.
“I’m sorry, Rubz,” he whispered, wrapping his strong arm around my shoulder and tucking me into his chest. “Not just for what you’re going through, but for how badly I handled things downstairs. I didn’t know what to say... I still don’t.”
“I don’t need you to say anything.”
I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want to think. I just wanted to feel better.
As I sniffed, nuzzling deeper, Ryker’s hand came to rest on the back of my head, his fingers slowly combing through my hair.
This wasn’t the first time I’d cried in front of him.
He’d been there for my first broken bone – which was actually his fault – my first failed assignment, my first fight with my parents, and every tough moment since.
No matter the miles between us, he always came through when I needed him, even when he didn’t realise it – like in Miami.
He wasn’t just my best friend – he was my safe space.
Noah might have been wrong about a lot, but he’d been right about one thing – he wasn’t the person I truly depended on. Life had been hard since the breakup, but I’d survived.
I’m not sure I could say the same if I was to lose this.
Noah had been my first boyfriend, my first date, my first kiss – my first everything. But he wouldn’t be my next anything. It was time to stop looking back and start moving forward.
I’d wasted enough time moping.
Jerking away from Ryker, I sprang to my feet and angrily wiped at my cheeks. “No.”
Ryker frowned. “No what?”
“I don’t want to obsess over Noah anymore. I want to move on. I’m over it.” I took a deep breath. “I’m over him.”
Ryker’s tone was gentle. “You don’t have to be, Rubz. He was a big part of your life and–”
“He cheated on me, Wheels. Trust me. I’m over him.”
“He cheated on you?” Ryker seethed, a coldness I’d never heard coming from him creeping into his voice. “I’m going to kill him.”
I instinctively reached for Ryker’s arm, like he could follow through on that threat right now.
“You’re not going to do anything,” I firmly said, crouching in front of him to get his attention.
But even then, Ryker stared straight through me, his thoughts a thousand miles from here.
He rarely got angry, which made his silence all the more worrying – he was pissed off.
Thank God I hadn’t mentioned anything when we’d been within driving distance in Miami.
I doubt I would have had the power to stop him then.
Needing to diffuse him like a ticking bomb, I climbed over him, partially straddling his legs so that I could meet his gaze. His muscled quads tensed beneath me, as if surprised by our proximity. I was too, but I had to make sure he was listening.
“Promise me that you won’t do anything stupid, Wheels. Think about the Draft. Hurting Noah could mess with your career. He’s not worth it.”
It hurt to say that out loud, because Noah had once been worth everything.
I may as well have been speaking into a void, because Ryker continued to blankly stare over my shoulder, as if he was mentally planning on how to get away with murder.
Is this how the opposition felt when they played against him? He was distant, cold and threatening. I missed the soft and kind guy I knew.
“Ryker, please.”
Hearing his real name finally snapped Ryker from his simmering rage. He blinked, slowly, as if waking from a bad dream.
I breathed a sigh of relief as a trace of warmth crept back into his eyes. I hadn’t enjoyed seeing him like that. Not one bit.
“I’m sorry. I...” He trailed off, as if fighting to keep himself reined in. “What happened, Rubz? Tell me everything.”
I shrugged weakly. “I flew to Miami to surprise him. He was in another... I mean with another girl.”
“When?”
“Um.” I wrung my hands, my gaze falling to the bedspread. “Last month. When you were in Miami too.”
Ryker’s chest heaved. “You caught him cheating that day?”
At my confirming nod, Ryker’s anger rolled straight back through him. “Why the fuck didn’t you say something, Ruby?”
“I was in shock.”
And I hadn’t wanted you to kill him.
“Why didn’t you tell me after? We’ve spoken plenty of times since.”
“You had your big game to focus on,” I rushed out. “Then after you lost, I didn’t want to add more to your plate.” I picked at a loose thread on his quilt, still unable to meet his eyes. “And I guess I was embarrassed.”
“What do you have to be embarrassed about?”
I lifted my shoulders in a helpless gesture. “You tried warning me at Thanksgiving.”
Ryker’s temper thawed a little. “About something Stefan could have easily misinterpreted. I didn’t think that asshole was actually–”
He caught himself, exhaling slowly as he fought for control. Sniffling, I wiped at my face with the sleeve of my knitted sweater.
I’d never seen Ryker this fired up about anything. I loved how deeply he cared for me, but it terrified me how much he now hated Noah.
Ryker’s hand gently stilled mine, before cupping my cheek and shifting my eyes to his. I was extremely aware of how close we were, perhaps closer than we’d ever been. If someone were to walk in right now, we’d definitely raise eyebrows.
“How have you really been, Rubz? Be honest with me.”
“There’s been okay days and bad days, but I’m ready to put it behind me. It’s time to move on.”
While the thought of being with someone new was terrifying, perhaps facing it sooner would help me heal quicker. I was willing to try. I didn’t want to feel this way anymore.
Sliding off Ryker, I made my way to the mirror, needing to smooth out my puffy face before heading back downstairs. But when I caught sight of my reflection, I realised makeup wasn’t going to cut it.
I was a mess.
“I need to take a shower,” I said, gathering my things. “How many people are coming tonight?”
Ryker shrugged, going with the conversation shift without complaint, which I loved him for. “Honestly, with Pat organising the guest list, I have absolutely no idea.”
I didn’t mind the idea of a big party for a change. It gave me plenty of people to hide among.
As I turned for the bathroom, Ryker called out my name.
“I’ll always be here for you. You know that, right?”
Though I’d lost faith in most men, I hadn’t lost it in my best friend. I doubt I ever would.
“Of course I do.”