Chapter 28
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Don’t hate me
Ruby
When my alarm went off, it felt like I hadn’t slept a wink.
I’d crawled into bed sometime after midnight, waiting for Ryker so that we could talk – but he never came.
His side of the bed was still made, only slightly ruffled from when he’d tickled me – right before stealing a kiss that made me see the world differently.
I now lived in a pre-kiss universe, where things were how they always had been, and a post-kiss universe, where Ryker made me question so many things my brain couldn’t keep up.
Just thinking about him made my lips tingle – his clearly hadn’t though, because if he’d felt anything at all, he’d be here right now. He wouldn’t have dodged me all night – or had I been the one avoiding him?
After finding Tori in the basement, I’d stayed there the rest of the night – waiting. If Ryker wanted to find me, he knew exactly where to look. I guess the empty bed was proof he hadn’t.
After slipping on my glasses, I rubbed at my temples in frustration. The kiss was already making things messy. I didn’t overanalyse when it came to Ryker, because until last night, I’d never had to question what anything meant.
But he’d kissed me.
Sure, I’d kissed him back. But he’d instigated it. It was only fair that he take charge on the fallout.
Throwing off the covers, I headed to the bathroom to take a quick shower, hoping that by the time I was done, Ryker would be in his room.
But that wasn’t the case, and it didn’t change even as I got dressed, or when I packed my bag, or when I headed downstairs to wait for my Uber.
Luckily I’d never ended up cancelling it.
I was glad to be skipping out before the cleanup began. There were many tells a party had gone down last night. Half-a-dozen football players were passed out on the mismatching furniture in the living room, some with a beautiful girl cuddled against their muscled bodies.
When I checked them over, looking for Ryker and coming up short, I couldn’t figure out whether I felt relieved or worried.
“Ruby?”
Tori strolled out of the kitchen, clutching a glass of water. She was dressed in nothing but one of Brady’s football tees, her eyes partially closed as if she was sleepwalking.
“Hey,” I softly said, not wanting to wake the living room crowd. “I have an early flight. When you see Ryker, can you please tell him I had to leave?”
She slowly nodded, stifling a yawn. “Wait, where is he?”
“Good question.” I glanced down at my phone. The Uber was here. “I’ll see you later.”
Shutting the front door as quietly as I could, I jogged down the front path to the waiting car. I held my breath with every step, half-expecting Ryker to burst from the house and come after me – like a scene out of a cliché rom-com.
But the more I pictured it, the less sure I became. Did I even want him to? How would I react if he did? It wasn’t like it would be my love interest chasing me down – it would be my best friend, the guy next door, the boy who’d witnessed all of my awkward phases.
Maybe space wasn’t such a bad thing. It would give me time to figure out how I felt about him kissing me.
Not only was Ryker the second boy I’d ever kissed, but he was also the first in eight years who wasn’t Noah. That was a heavy reminder that Noah and I were truly over. I’d never kiss him again.
Honestly, I doubt I would kiss Ryker again either. While my total make out tally now stood at two, Ryker was like a kissing-hall-of-famer. Kisses didn’t mean to him what they meant to me.
Back in high school, there were parties when he’d hook up with more than one person. That hadn’t changed in college. If anything, it had amplified.
Perhaps I’d been hookup number one last night. Maybe Ryker was Goldilocks, and I was simply the first bowl of porridge he’d tried before moving on to a hotter, slimmer, and funnier bowl that belonged to a sexier bear.
The metaphor was a little messed up, but it weirdy suited the circumstances. Because if he hadn’t slept in his own bed, it meant he’d slept in someone else’s.
*
Once arriving at the airport, I navigated through it on autopilot, experiencing déjà vu from having done this exact same thing only yesterday.
After retrieving my things from security, I noticed a missed call and message on my phone from Ryker. Of course he’d called during the one window I wasn’t obsessively staring at the screen.
Ryker: I’m the worst. I fell asleep last night and my phone died. I only just plugged it in and saw the time.
Ruby: It’s all good. I hope you’re not too hungover.
Ryker: I didn’t pass out. I was sober.
Ryker: Where are you? Can you talk?
Ruby: I’m about to board.
In twenty minutes. But he didn’t know that.
Ryker: Call me when you land.
*
I didn’t call or message Ryker when I arrived home, because I was now living in the post-kiss universe – the one where I second-guessed everything when it came to him.
“Are you okay?” Bri asked later that night, while we were eating dinner.
Like me, she was dressed in her nursing scrubs. We were both working the graveyard shift.
“Just tired,” I lied, a yawn escaping before I could stop it. “Late night, early start – you know how it is.”
After finishing up, I loaded our dishes into the dishwasher before heading upstairs to pack my work bag.
In good news, I hadn’t cried over mine and Noah’s breakup today. The downside was that I couldn’t stop thinking about Ryker. My head was already pounding, and my shift hadn’t even started yet.
Returning downstairs, my phone lit up, just as I reached for the front door.
Ryker: Can you FT?
Ruby: Nope. I’m about to leave for the hospital.
Ryker: Tomorrow?
Ruby: I’m on a week of nights now. I’ll be sleeping when you’re awake.
Grabbing my keys and tucking my phone into my back pocket, I followed Bri outside, volunteering to drive so I wouldn’t fixate on waiting for Ryker’s reply.
Needing a distraction, I put on Taylor’s Swift ten-minute version of All Too Well. If you timed the traffic lights right, it was just enough distance for two full plays between our place and the hospital.
Part of me itched to unload on Bri and get her take. But until I knew what it had meant to Ryker – if it had even meant anything – I didn’t want to add her theories to the mix. I’d only confuse myself more.
Just as the song was ending for a second time, I pulled into a park – perfect timing, Taylor.
The instant I cut the ignition, I caved and checked my phone.
Ryker: I’m sorry I wasn’t back before you left. I felt like an ass walking into my room this morning and realising you’d already gone.
I’d purposely left my side of the bed unmade so it was clear I’d been there and he hadn’t. I never said I wasn’t petty.
“Ruby?” Bri prompted, her body half hanging out of the car, waiting for me.
“Sorry,” I apologised, grabbing my bag and stepping out.
Just as we walked through the double doors, my phone went off again.
Ryker: Please don’t hate me, Rubz.
Ruby: I could never hate you, Wheels. Gotta go.