Chapter 37 Were you jealous?
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Were you jealous?
Ruby
Lastlings had been too loud for a proper conversation, which is why I found myself in the back of a quiet car with Ryker – the silence so noticeable I was conscious of how loudly I was breathing.
My phone was flat, so I was stuck staring out the window as the usual ten minute drive dragged on forever. Walking back in the cool air seemed like a better option right now. Seriously, why did Ubers never play the radio?
When the driver stopped at a red light, the hybrid’s engine cut off, plunging us into an even deeper silence. Of course, at that exact moment, my stomach grumbled, and in the quietness of the car, it was like a fire alarm going off in a library.
Ryker caught my eye, holding my gaze for a moment before we both burst out laughing. As the sound shattered the silence, all the tension that had built between us vanished.
The driver cast a concerning look at us through his rear-view mirror, which only made the situation funnier. Ryker was grinning so hard his dimple had appeared. I hadn’t seen that dimple in weeks.
“I’ll make you a grilled cheese when we get home,” he promised, chuckling between each word.
“Make it two. I’m starving.”
“You got it.”
Once we reached the house, I tightened my jacket around my shoulders as I followed Ryker up the front path. With everyone else still at Lastlings, it was quiet inside – but not awkwardly quiet like the Uber had been.
“Do you mind if I take a shower to warm up while you make the food?” I asked, hovering beside Ryker as he locked the door behind him.
“Take as long as you need, Rubz.”
I didn’t plan on taking too long. I was really hungry.
*
After removing my makeup, I shut off the shower and redressed in one of Ryker’s hoodies and a fluffy pair of socks. Stepping back into his bedroom, I removed the hairband from my bun and combed my fingers through my dry hair.
Ryker was already waiting, leaning against his headboard with the TV quietly playing in the background.
He held up a plate stacked with grilled cheeses. I greedily grabbed one, shoving as much into my mouth as I could.
“You’re the best, Wheels,” I moaned, savouring every bite.
Tearing off another piece, I walked over to my suitcase, rummaging around for my toiletries bag.
“I haven’t been lately,” Ryker breathed, his voice soft. “I’ve been an asshole ever since I kissed you.”
Unlike my heart – which was racing so intensely I feared I might be tachycardic – I froze. I’d been waiting on him to mention it. But now that he was, I didn’t feel prepared.
Careful what you wish for, Ruby.
“Why are you bringing it up now?” I asked, forcing my voice to remain steady despite my rising nerves.
“Because I spent the entire day thinking you hooked up with Evan.”
“Were you jealous?”
“Yes,” he answered without hesitation, his honesty catching me off guard.
I slowly turned around. This was a face-to-face conversation.
“I told you I didn’t hook up with Evan,” I said.
“You still kissed him.”
Apparently, they’d talked. Clearly Evan wasn’t great at keeping up the act either.
“As an experiment,” I explained. “That’s it.”
“An experiment?”
To see if you’d take the bait.
Was this Ryker taking the bait? Did I want him to?
I turned back to my suitcase, pretending to sort through it while I pulled myself together. “Don’t obsess over it, Wheels. People kiss all the time without it meaning anything.”
“People, maybe. But not you, Rubz.”
“You and I kissed and it didn’t mean anything.”
“It meant something, and you know it.”
“Yeah. Okay, Wheels.”
I hadn’t realised Ryker had gotten up from the bed until his fingertips brushed my wrist, coaxing me to look at him. I drew a steady breath, forcing my gaze to meet his.
“That kiss meant a lot to me, Ruby. I haven’t stopped thinking about it.
” He cautiously took a step closer, seeming to relax when I didn’t pull away.
“I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to tell you that, but that’s where my head is at.
If yours is somewhere else – if you weren’t into it and you’d rather pretend it never happened – I’ll respect that.
Whatever you want, Ruby.” His dimple appeared as a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
“But just to be perfectly clear, I wanted to kiss you then. And now...” His tongue darted out to wet his lips. “I want to kiss you again.”
Fireworks erupted in my mind, all at once. It was like the freaking Fourth of July up here.
“But Gretchen,” I started.
“Nothing was going on with her.”
I rolled my eyes. “She filled me in on your sex-capades, Wheels.”
“I slept with her before I kissed you, and the only reason I hung out with her afterwards was because I was trying to convince myself I didn’t feel anything for you,” he hurriedly explained “Nothing happened with her after you and me. I promise.”
“But last night–”
“That was her weird way of helping me. She knew I was worried I’d freaked you out when I kissed you – especially since you bolted from my room straight after.”
“Because I was surprised,” I blurted, feeling a rush of relief at finally saying it out loud.
“I needed a moment to work out how I felt. Then when you never came looking, I assumed you ran straight to her.” I paused, steadying my thoughts.
“You were the first boy I kissed since Noah, Ryker. That was a big deal to me. So when I woke up alone the next day...”
I left it at that. Best not to deal with that baggage tonight.
As confronting and vulnerable as this conversation was, finally understanding each other felt liberating. I wished we’d mustered the courage and done it sooner.
Ryker dragged a panicked hand through his hair. “Fuck, Rubz. I’m so damn sorry. I’m a fucking idiot.”
He never lost his cool, not even on the field. It’s why he made such a lethal quarterback. He was always in control, even when the odds were against him.
“I swear, I never touched Gretchen after I kissed you. I fell asleep on her couch waiting for Pat.” He momentarily glanced up at the ceiling, as if searching for the right words or courage – or both.
“Things changed for me after we kissed... actually, they changed when you sent me that photo.” He held my gaze, seeming confident.
That made one of us. “I don’t just want to kiss you again, Rubz. ”
Ryker wasn’t blinking, and I wasn’t breathing. Was the earth still turning? Or had that admission brought the whole world to a standstill?
That should’ve freaked me out, but instead, it was having the opposite effect. Heat unfurled within me, starting in my chest and spreading everywhere.
I tucked my clammy hands behind my back, hoping it would keep me from reaching for him. Every instinct in my body was telling me to touch him – and every desire was hoping he’d touch me – but my brain wasn’t on board.
“You’re my best friend, Wheels,” I whispered.
“I know.”
“We’ve known each other since we were kids.”
“I’m aware.”
“Noah and I only just broke up.”
“Thank God.”
“I’ve barely been single.”
“I get it.”
“And–”
I paused. I think I was out of excuses.
With a faint smile, Ryker trailed his fingertips along my collarbone, nudging aside the hoodie of his that I was wearing.
“Forgetting all of that for a second, do you want me to kiss you again, Ruby?”
“Yes,” I admitted. “But it’s not as simple as that. We could ruin our friendship and–”
When Ryker silenced me with a kiss, all my reservations died off. The moment our lips touched, a moan escaped me, as if my body was surging to life.
Ryker briefly pulled away, resting his forehead against mine. “That sound, I’ve been fucking dreaming about hearing it again.”
And then his mouth was back on mine.
I rested my palms against his jaw as he deepened the kiss, desperate for something solid to anchor me to reality. The roughness of his stubble beneath my fingertips was a nice change from Noah’s usually smooth face.
With his hand sweeping across my throat, Ryker angled our heads, taking things to the next level.
When I’d wondered whether our first kiss had affected me solely because it wasn’t Noah, I finally had my answer. I was experiencing the same dizziness as last time, something I hadn’t felt when it was Evan’s lips on mine.
With controlled steps, Ryker backed us against the wall, my shoulder blades finding it first. The support was welcome. My legs had turned to jelly.
They weren’t the only part of my body reacting. If Ryker’s hoodie wasn’t so oversized on me, my nipples would be poking out his eyes. A damp heat was building in my underwear too. I was so turned on – more than I think I had ever been before – and all we were doing was kissing.
As if sensing how dark my thoughts had become, Ryker broke things off. I had to give him credit for finding the strength. I could’ve gladly died like that – death by making out with Ryker Richardson. There were worse ways to go.
“You’ve been drinking,” he said, holding my gaze. “I’m not fucking this up again. Let’s go to sleep and talk in the morning.”
“Sleep?” I snorted, shaking my head. “I have grilled cheeses to eat first.”