Chapter 17 No Natural Predator
NO NATURAL PREDATOR
The dim light of the dining hall accentuated the dark shadows under Monika’s eyes.
We sat opposite each other at the end of a table, which granted us relative privacy, as Dave and Kevin next to us were engaged in a discussion with Amit and Josh on the subject of the efficacy of various antiseptic solutions.
“What exactly is he angry about, though?” I asked her quietly enough for the question to be inaudible to anyone but her in the companionable hum of the room. “You haven’t told me anything that would resemble a valid reason to be nasty with you.”
She looked over me into the lit fireplace, the flames reflected in her eyes. She was frowning a little, her fair eyebrows almost forming a single line in consequence, like the wings of a large bird.
“Vell ... I think he is vorrying about leaving tomorrow,” she said, fidgeting with her braid, her eyes darting around the room.
“Oh,” I said in reply. “That’s understandable. Though he still shouldn’t be taking it out on you.”
Monika shrugged and took a sip of her water.
“I’ll talk to him then. We’re starting with the mountain settlements.
We expect most of these to be empty, or almost. With the mortality rate of the infected, I’d be surprised if we encounter more than fifty anywhere.
I’m not saying it’s completely without danger, but .
.. I mean, if shove came to push, I could probably manage on my own.
He can think of it as extended training. ”
“No.” Monika set down her glass. “He’s not vorried about this. He’s vorried about leaving me here, alone.”
Someone laughed loudly right behind me. Something in the sound was faintly reminiscent of a donkey’s braying.
“You’ll be well-guarded,” I told her tolerantly. “At least four archers will stay here at any given time. And we’ll come back here regularly, every four days or so to start with.”
“He’s vorried about me alone here vith other men.”
Monika said this so softly that I wouldn’t have been sure I heard her correctly had I not seen her mildly resentful expression.
“Oh,” I said again, not knowing how else to react.
I was spared from having to come up with a more suitable reply by the main door opening with its characteristic creak.
As per usual, Einar marched in with his head bowed to avoid banging it on the lintel.
He straightened up, tall, handsome and imposing, and marched to the head table.
He was closely followed by Finn, Russell, Jean-Luc, and finally Albert, who cast a firm yet indecipherable look in Monika’s direction. She blushed instantly.
I secretly thought that I would never know what she saw in him.
I hated the way he spoke to her, even when he wasn’t upset with her for no legitimate reason whatsoever.
It was as if he aimed to mock and diminish her with every sentence.
I had known men like that, men who showed their affection by snide remarks.
Thinly veiled criticisms that seemingly implied that they were close enough with their partner to be allowed to say such things, but that ultimately belittled said partner. I loathed men like that.
I had said so to Einar in no uncertain terms the previous night, to his marked displeasure.
In accordance with my wishes, we had not been intimate since his confession.
I had even moved my things back to the dismal communal room.
But he still insisted on our spending time together.
And so the evening before, I finally relented and agreed to play chess with him in his apartment.
“I’ll hear no more of it, Ren,” he told me plainly after another one of my tirades about Albert’s Napoleonic complex. “I know Monika’s your friend, but he’s mine. He’s been my friend for over a decade.”
“Well, I can’t possibly understand why!” I crossed my arms over my chest. “He’s a deeply misogynistic swine. How can you not see that?”
“Ren, stop.” The reprimand was sharp in his voice as well as in the cold flash of his eyes. “Last warning, eh?”
My face flushed hotly with outraged blood, and I opened my mouth to inquire just what would happen if I didn’t heed this warning.
Only to close it again promptly, realising that given the parameters of our relationship, a great many things could happen if I didn’t obey when he so clearly commanded.
And I was sure to dislike most of them. Well, some of them anyway.
“Good girl.” His expression softened once he saw my retreat, and I cursed him internally for the effect his words had on me even when I didn’t want them to.
“I’d be the first to admit that Albert has his flaws.
I’m not blind to them. But he’s very competent.
A useful man to have by your side in a situation like this. ”
There was nothing I could possibly say to that, and we abandoned the subject for the night.
Monika and I didn’t talk anymore during dinner and barely had the chance at its end before Einar stood up, squared his shoulders, and cleared his throat.
I knew already that he was about to announce that we archers, himself included, were leaving for the first scavenging expedition in three days’ time.
The hall fell silent except for the crackling of embers in the fireplace.
“I reckon it’s safe to say that for many of us the past three months have been the hardest and the most hopeless we’ve ever experienced.”
Assenting hums filled the hall. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, once more feeling like an outsider amid multitudes whose hearts beat in unison and whose thoughts flowed in much the same direction.
I could not relate to them, and they could not relate to me.
The past three months were the most joyful time I had had in years.
“What reason can you possibly find to live when the life you’ve always imagined for yourself becomes downright impossible?”
I straightened up. That I could relate to. Despite the difference in circumstances, this question once largely occupied my own mind. And I was never able to find an answer.
“It’s likely that you’ve spent your whole lives in preparation for a future that no longer exists.
Your hard-earned degree will never land you that dream job now.
Nor will you get that promotion you’ve been toiling for.
Do you remember how you did your best to save up every quid, euro, or dollar?
Well, you should have gone on that holiday instead because now your savings are gone and will never transform into the home you wanted for your family. ”
Einar trapped the audience in his unyielding gaze.
“And worst of all, when it comes to your family, most of you will have lost relatives to CanLys. You should have made more time for them, and now you know it, because you’ll never have another chance. How do you move on from something like this?”
The room held its collective breath, waiting for him to tell them.
“I do not claim to have the answer. But if I were to guess, I’d say we’ll move on from this because we’re not alone.
Because it is the same for everybody now.
Because the deepest brand of devastation occurs when the catastrophe is only your own, unshared with others and isolating.
When it prevents you from relating to others and others from relating to you. ”
I exhaled with a choked gasp, feeling the sting of tears forming in my eyes.
And I was far from alone. As I looked around, I saw people straightening up and leaning forward in their seats, and I could tell that most understood the profound truth in those words.
He had them all hooked, and all he needed to do now was reel them in.
“Now, it would be well to realise that it could have been so much worse for humanity,” Einar said, accompanying his speech with economic hand gestures.
“Dozens of cosmic events could have obliterated our planet. The virus could have been more contagious, spreading through mere touch or through the air. Our dearly departed world leaders,” he smirked sardonically and was rewarded with a few laughs, “they could have at any point decided to start a nuclear war that would have wiped us all out.” He paused, his expression grave and intense.
“My point is, what happened is fixable.”
I sensed an imperceptible movement all around me, of stooped shoulders straightening up and of deep, hopeful breaths being taken. I felt a smile tugging at the corner of my lips.
“Make no mistake, though, just because our predicament is salvageable doesn’t mean that our salvation is guaranteed.
This can yet be the end of us if we let ourselves succumb to self-pity.
Or if we refuse to evacuate the burning Rome with its decaying ways and outdated thinking.
In the days, months, and years to come, each and every one of us will have a crucial role to play, but it may not always be a role we would have chosen for ourselves.
The needs of the many must outweigh the needs of the few.
Thinking otherwise is a luxury we won’t have for some time to come.
But also, rather ironically, the needs of the uninfected few must absolutely outweigh the needs of the infected multitudes. ”
He scanned the room slowly, eyes boring coldly yet emphatically into each and every face they encountered in their path.
“What I mean, and make no mistake, is that we must be prepared to kill. Kill all of them, kill any single one of them. Because they present a danger to us greater than we can tolerate if we’re to have a future worth living.”
Bursts of murmurs surrounded me, some agreeable, some outraged.
“There may be a cure one day, some of you might say.” Raising his voice to talk over them, Einar continued, “And perhaps you’re right.
It makes no difference. Until there is, we must be the cure.
Unless we’re prepared to eradicate this infection by any means possible, we will always live in hiding with no chance of progress.
Why? Because human advancement was largely made possible by having no natural predators.
By being able to walk unafraid in our world, our minds free to focus on more than just survival.
The sooner we return to that state, the sooner we can watch the rise of a new civilisation with every hope of it being better than its predecessor. ”
Einar had a talent for raising his voice, gradually, imperceptibly at first, all the while not increasing the speed with which he spoke.
The effect, especially when combined with his commanding presence, was powerfully mesmerising.
It was no surprise to me to see our people nod in agreement, even those who opposed the notion just a few moments before.
No matter his recent revelation, I myself knew it in the marrow of my bones that I would follow him no matter where he would lead me. It was as inevitable as nightfall following a sunset.
“The time has come for our archers, myself included, to leave in three days’ time.
We’ll start with the mountain settlements within a twenty-kilometre radius initially, granting us more safety in the immediate area.
Our short-term objective will be to gather supplies.
Our ultimate goal will be to exterminate CanLys on this island and take our world back! ”
The hall erupted in deafening applause.
“Hail Caesar,” Dave mumbled next to me whilst clapping slowly, reluctantly, and I elbowed him in the ribs.