Chapter 21 One Pump and Done
It had been a week since the office explosion. Knox was back to taking me to client meetings, inside the building and outside, acting like everything was normal. Like we hadn’t crossed a line neither of us could uncross.
But I saw the cracks.
The subtle looks. The way his eyes lingered when he thought no one noticed. And his attention always returned to my hair.
I wore it differently now.
Some days I wore it down, long and blonde, brushing the middle of my back. When I did, I made a point of tucking it behind my ear, slow and deliberate, knowing he watched every movement.
On those days, he could not look away. His gaze kept drifting back to me, like he was fighting himself.
Other days I wore it up, the way I always had. And every time, Knox had that look, the one that said he wanted to reach out and undo it.
One morning I tied it into a high ponytail, sleek and tight. When we walked up the staircase to the mezzanine, I made sure to stay just a step ahead of him. My ponytail swayed side to side with each step.
I wanted him imagining what it would feel like to grab it, to pull it.
I could feel his eyes on me the entire time.
When we reached the landing, I glanced back.
I hadn’t imagined it. Knox was watching me hard, his gaze locked on my hair. His hand had curled into a tight fist at his side, his jaw set like he was holding himself in check, losing ground inch by inch.
In meetings, I angled my chair slightly toward him. Not enough for anyone else to notice, just enough that he had to work to keep his attention on the presentation instead of me.
And every time I caught his gaze drifting, he snapped it away like he had been burned.
I pretended not to notice.
Pretended I wasn’t fully aware of the tension simmering between us.
One afternoon during that same week, I was in the half-open break area on our floor, eating lunch with Priya, Claire, and Nora. We had ordered steaks through Uber Eats, and the conversation drifted, as it always did with them, to men and sex.
Nora stabbed a piece of meat with her fork. “I swear, I should’ve stayed home last night. That Tinder guy? Terrible. Like, impressively terrible.”
Priya snorted. “Define terrible.”
“Like… he apologized afterward,” Nora said, deadpan.
Claire burst out laughing. “Oh no.”
I smiled faintly and kept eating.
Priya shook her head. “At least he showed up. My last date canceled because his dog was sad.”
Nora groaned. “That is the weakest excuse I have ever heard.”
I was cutting into my food when movement caught my eye.
Through the leaves of the oversized ficus plant that separated the lounge from the hallway, I saw Knox step out of his office.
From the others’ angle, he was completely hidden by the plant and the partial wall.
From mine, I could see him in fragments, a shoulder, the edge of his suit, the way he slowed his steps.
Claire glanced at me. “Why are you so quiet, Ashley?”
I shrugged. “I’m just listening.”
“No,” Nora said. “What about you? What’s your experience?”
A large shadow stretched across the wall near the corner of the lounge. He hadn’t stepped forward. He stayed just out of sight.
Listening.
“Sex is overrated. I don’t really see the appeal.”
All three of them reacted at once.
“What?” Claire said.
“Oh my God,” Priya said.
“Excuse me?” Nora said.
I just shrugged again.
Priya frowned. “Then it had to be the guy. That is always the answer.”
Nora leaned closer. “How many men have you even been with?”
“One,” I said.
All three nodded like they were doctors diagnosing a patient.
“That explains everything,” Priya said. “One bad sample does not count.”
Claire tilted her head. “Did you at least come?”
I made a noncommittal face and took a sip of my drink.
Nora groaned. “Oooofff. That had to be some high school guy. One pump and done. They never last long. Young and clueless.”
“Exactly,” Priya said. “You need to get out more. You cannot judge the whole experience on one dud.”
I focused very hard on not smiling.
“You need to get back on the saddle,” Claire added.
Nora perked up. “I know someone in Marketing. Tim. That guy would one hundred percent give you an orgasm.”
I raised an eyebrow. “I’ve seen Tim. How do you know he’s one hundred percent guaranteed?”
She grinned. “Last year’s Christmas party. We got drunk, went home together. Three orgasms.”
I saw Knox’s shadow shift.
I made a face. “You have already been there. Is it not like girl code or something? I am not looking for a relationship.”
“Nah, it’s fine,” Nora said. “We were never serious. And I’m telling you to ride the pony, not marry the pony.”
“See,” Claire said, “that is a public service recommendation.”
Knox's shadow pulled back from the wall, retreating the way it had come. His outline slid away from the corner and disappeared toward his office.
The others kept talking, oblivious.
“I am not dating coworkers,” I said.
“That is what you say now,” Nora replied. “We will fix you.”
The conversation drifted to work gossip and weekend plans. We finished eating and went back to our desks.
Ten minutes later, I saw Knox walking out of his office with Titan. He didn’t look at anyone.
He did not come back to the office for the rest of the day.