29. No One’s Prey
NO ONE’S PREY
ASHER
L ev shoved Asher’s wardrobe away from the secret door like it was made of cardboard.
“Next time you want to rearrange your room, please call me. Watching you move furniture out of spite sounds quite amusing.”
“No thanks. It’s a lot more fun watching an old man move it.”
Lev feigned a gasp. “Words hurt, Blakely.”
Unblocking the door connecting their rooms had been Asher’s idea.
While Lev had taught Asher more about trusting his instincts than the actual art of painting over the last few days sequestered in his room, Asher needed to sleep in his own bed tonight.
He’d moved in with Ben too quickly, and he couldn’t lose himself in Lev like he had with Ben, no matter how much he wanted to.
Showering alone was the perfect first step for his Lev detox .
Lev gripped Asher’s hips loosely and kissed his cheek. “Is there anything else I can get you?”
Asher shook his head.
“In that case, I’ll leave you to it.” Lev crossed to the door leading to the hallway.
“Wait. After all that, you’re not taking the shortcut?”
“Absolutely not.” Lev’s hand paused on the doorknob. “I’ve nearly gotten stuck inside that tiny trap of a doorframe a few too many times as a teen.”
“You roomed me on your sneaking out route?”
“Precisely. You wouldn’t imagine the tomfoolery the sheep farmer’s son and I got up to.”
“Oh.” Asher peeled off his shirt.
Lev’s eyes dipped to Asher’s bare skin. “I’m joking, Blakely.” He waited a couple of seconds. “It was the fisherman’s son.”
Asher narrowed his eyes. “That’s not funny.”
“What? That was an excellent joke.” Lev’s gaze turned serious. “This is actually Wendell’s old room.”
“Oh.”
“I had a lot of nightmares while Mum was ill. Wendell moved into this one. Father was with Mum all the time, and wasn’t particularly nurturing, so when I was scared or couldn’t sleep, I’d use the secret door and lay with him while he wrote.
Strangely enough, those nights during such a wretched time in my life are some of my favorite memories. That’s why I put you here.”
“Oh,” Asher said.
Apparently, he’d forgotten his other words, head so full of heartbreak for seven-year-old Lev.
“You’ve gone all monosyllabic, baby. Was that too intense a confession?”
“No. It’s sad and beautiful and…” Asher blinked back his tears before they fell. “I don’t know. I can’t explain my emotions, but I can paint them for you. ”
“I understand completely.” Lev’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Well, I’ll be off then.”
After such a bittersweet revelation, Asher didn’t want Lev to be alone.
“Can you leave the door open while I shower—the secret door, I mean?”
Asher’s heart twinged at Lev’s smile and obvious relief.
“Of course.” Even Lev’s steps were lighter as he propped the slightly too narrow, slightly too short door open with a heavy log from the fireplace.
Lev pressed a chaste kiss to the corner of Asher’s lips on the way out. Asher waited for Lev’s footsteps to cross his room on the other side of the wall and waited longer still for Lev to inevitably test the acoustics.
“All right there, Blakely?” Lev asked.
Asher bit back his smile. “Yeah.”
“Good. That’s good.” A few seconds later. “I do worry though…”
“About?” Asher dropped his pants.
“How long have you been afraid of showering alone? You should have told me. I’d have been happy to help.”
“You’re still not funny.” But he was really cute. “I’m going in there now.”
“Careful around the towel racks.”
Asher laughed.
“I guess I’m a little funny after all,” Lev said.
“I wasn’t laughing. I sneezed.”
“Bless you, then.”
Asher’s bright mood dimmed at the sight of his reflection.
Hickeys and beard rash painted his neck, paired with the fading bite mark Lev had already left.
He looked like a drawing Lev had scribbled his name all over, and while the submissive in him thought it was hot as fuck, it opened him up to the same accusations he’d faced with Ben.
Anxiety wrapped a hand around his throat .
“Fuck,” he whispered.
Stupid boy, Ben would have said. If you can’t use your head, then I’ll use your holes instead .
He turned away from the mirror and started the shower. His thoughts muddied as he scrubbed his scalp under the water and let the conditioner soak in.
Dinner was going to suck. Lev could try to spin it or promise to protect him, but he couldn’t fix the optics.
Asher lathered his body with the bar of luxury soap that smelled like Lev’s bare skin. The realization that Lev had scent-marked him from the beginning was sexy and possessive and totally turned him on. He never thought he would want to submit to anyone again, but he wanted to submit to Lev.
The bar of soap slipped from his hand and dropped on his mangled toes. Pain blasted through him, ratcheting his pulse.
“Fuck,” Asher said, a little louder this time.
“Asher?” Lev called, concern lacing his voice.
“I’m fine,” Asher shouted back. “You have an unsettling bat-like sense of hearing.”
“Only when it comes to your safety.”
Asher rolled his eyes, rinsed off, and got out. His skin prickled with the brisk air, and something else. Solitude usually re-energized him, but he never felt completely alone at Lichenmoor. History swayed in the air like dust motes. Secrets lurked in the shadows.
Lev had resurrected Asher’s clothes from the sea, and replaced them twofold with near replicas that fit suspiciously better than his old ones.
At first, Asher had rejected his gifts as too much. “Surely, you don’t want to wear these clothes now that they’ve gone for a swim,” Lev had said.
Asher had accused Lev of talking out of his ass, then Lev had replied, “We’re in England, darling. You must say arse ,” and casually added, “Those clothes remind me of when I almost lost you. ”
After donning black denim jeans, an olive tee, and his lucky black hoodie over it, he stood in front of the mirror and tried to drape the hood around his neck in a way that covered most of Lev’s marks.
It was no use. Conceding defeat with a grumbling growl, Asher told Lev he was going to talk to Theo before dinner.
“Careful he doesn’t kiss you again.”
“I wouldn’t be so smug if I were you. Pride is a sin, after all.”
The second-floor hallway was quiet. Hopefully, he hadn’t missed Theo. He rapped on the door. Footsteps trailed across the floor, and the door swung open.
“Asher?” Theo said in that husky, accented voice of his, an amiable smile curling his lips. “What are you doing here?”
“Can we talk?”
“Of course. Come in, come in.” Theo stepped aside. “Don’t worry. I promise not to kiss you again.” Theo pulled a chair over from his desk. “Here. Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I wanted to apologize for the way I left things with you the other night.” Asher sat and Theo perched on the edge of his bed opposite.
“It’s nothing. I should be the one apologizing for that stolen kiss.”
“The kiss was a shock more than stolen.”
Theo trailed a finger down his own neck. “You and Lev are doing well, then?”
“Yeah.” Asher rearranged his hood.
“You’re smiling.”
“Am I?” Asher ducked his head. “Sorry.”
“You apologize too much. I wasn’t in love. I was playing matchmaker. The coincidence of your tattoos and Lev summoning you seems fated, no? Congratulations, by the way.”
At Asher’s mystified look, Theo added, “Lev told me you won when he returned my shirt with half the buttons missing.”
“He told you?” Asher winced. Why hadn’t he mentioned it? “Was he an asshole about it?”
Theo laughed. “He was himself.”
Yes, then. “He didn’t give me the mentorship because?—”
“You slept with him?” Theo suggested, light hazel eyes playful.
“We’re not sleeping together.” Technically. Asher didn’t consider penetration the only way to have sex, but that was none of Theo’s business.
“I was teasing.”
“I don’t want people to think I won because of that…”
“Don’t worry. The others know there’s more than quid pro quo between you. Lev was beside himself when you went missing.”
“What?”
Theo nodded. “He was terrified. Ashen, voice shaking, a little green. But he kept his head and split us into pairs to look for you. He even dialed a contact at emergency services to search by boat and promised to pay for a helicopter when it was safe to fly.” He sighed as if he were swooning. “Romantic, no?”
“I thought the phone lines were down…”
“He has a satellite phone for emergencies.” Theo laughed. “Now that I think about it, he didn’t completely keep his head. Chuck made a joke about you crying somewhere after Lev had rejected your watercolor painting.”
Chuck was half-right.
“Lev erupted. He threatened to cart Chuck up Lichenmoor’s tallest tower and shove him out a window if he ever said your name again.
Then Chuck asked how he was supposed to look for you if he wasn’t allowed to say your name, and Lev was so furious he probably would have made good on his threat if he hadn’t been in such a hurry to find you. ”
Asher’s heart sank into his stomach. He’d been such an asshole to Lev when he’d found him.
A knock sounded, and Julian walked in before Theo could ask who it was.
He blinked. “Asher?”
“Hello, Julian. Asher was just telling me he’s won the mentorship. Isn’t that wonderful?”
“I’m not surprised. The man is unnaturally attached to you.” Julian eyed Asher’s neck. “But I am surprised he let you talk to Theo alone after keeping you to himself the last few days.”
Theo shot Asher a sympathetic look.
“He didn’t keep me to himself. I was tired and sore.”
“Did he hurt you?” Julian asked, eyes crawling over Asher’s neck again from where he still lingered in the doorway.
“No.” Tension tightened his throat. Blocked exits were one of his triggers.
Theo hopped down from the bed and slapped Julian’s back lightly.
“I think what Julian is trying to say is congratulations.” Theo steered Julian away from the doorway, gripping Julian’s shoulders, almost as if he sensed Asher’s unease. “Right?”
“I’m trying to warn you.”
“Stop playing parent.” Theo shook Julian’s shoulders playfully.
Asher recognized a kindred soul in Theo. What trauma had made him so adept at diffusing tension?
Undeterred, Julian shrugged out of Theo’s hold. “He’s fifteen years older than you.”
“Don’t act like I’m the first gay man to hook up with someone older.”
“He has a lot of influence. One word and he could ruin your career. You’ll be isolated here, trapped during high tide if things go wrong.”
Asher inhaled through his nose. “I appreciate your concern, but Luna will be here, and,” he looked at Theo, “apparently there’s a satellite phone.”
Theo nodded.
Julian’s gaze turned troubled. “I think Lev’s lying about why he’s hosting the retreat.”
Hadn’t Asher shared similar misgivings? Theo didn’t intervene this time, dropping his gaze to the rug like he wanted to draw it later. Did he agree?
“Look, I’m not sure why Lev planned the retreat either, but I know Lev now.
He won’t hurt me.” Whatever his reason for hosting the retreat, dubious or otherwise, Asher trusted Lev to keep him safe.
“He’s probably just lonely. I don’t think he’d invite six other artists as witnesses if he wanted to lock me in his dungeon. ”
“He could have left if he’d been lonely,” Julian said.
Asher wasn’t so sure Lev could leave, but that was none of Julian’s business.
“Then suddenly he wants to take on a much younger mentee?” Julian continued. “Sounds like grooming to me.”
Theo shook his head. “Julian…”
Asher gnashed his teeth together. “You really think Lev hosted a retreat to single out an unsuspecting artist from the pack to take advantage of?”
Julian’s jaw tensed. “Yeah. I do. Lev is cocky enough to believe that the winner he selects will be more than happy to bend over for the privilege. I’ve seen it before.”
“Yeah, me too. This isn’t that.”
Theo’s eyes flashed to Asher.
The chair scuttled backward as Asher stood. He needed to get out of there.
“I never asked for you to weigh in on my life choices. If you’re so concerned, take it up with Lev. It’s not fair to dump this on me because you’re afraid to confront him.”
Theo shifted to put himself between them. “Stop being meddlesome, Julian. We know you mean well, but let’s talk more after dinner.”
“I’m not meddling.” Julian moved around Theo, blocking the doorway; probably not on purpose, but it frayed Asher’s nerves. “I don’t want you to fall victim to a predator.”
“I’m only going to say this once, so pay attention.” Asher fisted his hands until his fingernails bit his palms. “Lev isn’t a predator, and I’m no one’s prey.”
“I don’t want you to make the same mistake…”
Asher’s senses tunneled down to fear and his heart throbbing in his ears. Did the others know? Had Lev known all along?
“…that I have,” Julian finished.
Thank fucking fuck. Asher inhaled deeply.
“I’m sorry that happened to you, but I’m not making a mistake.”
The dinner bell jingled.
“Perfect timing,” Theo said with cheerfulness belied by the wary way his eyes bounced between them. “There’s nothing good food and fine wine can’t fix.”
As if Asher could even eat when he was this pissed. Asher pushed past Julian, ignoring the pain slicing through him when their shoulders connected, and only breathed again when he was safe in the hallway, and no longer in a cage.