Chapter 14 #2
“Yes,” Aleks agreed. He took a step closer, as if to better study the etchings himself.
But when I turned, I found him studying me, not the walls. My pulse raced as he pressed a hand against the stone above my head, leaning forward and caging me in.
“Now I know we’re violating some sort of palace tradition,” I said.
His smile turned conspiratorial as his mouth tipped toward mine. “As long as we’re desecrating sacred places, we might as well make a show of it.”
Then he kissed me.
No matter how many times our lips met, it always managed to take my breath away.
To make my body feel light enough to float away, yet somehow grounded at the same time.
I closed my eyes and sank against the wall, dragging him with me.
He tangled his hands through my hair, leaving my partial updo increasingly disheveled as our kiss grew deeper, hungrier.
I felt like I couldn’t kiss him back hard enough to make up for the time we’d lost.
I was still willing to try.
His body was nearly flush against mine, but I yanked him even closer, my fingers kneading into the strong muscles of his back.
His tongue plunged deeper in response, pulling a soft moan through my lips.
The sound only made him more hungry, more desperate to seal his mouth completely over mine until we were a single being sharing the same magic, the same rhythms, the same air.
I was dizzy when he finally leaned away—just barely—so we could catch our breath.
I lost mine again as his touch slid downward, mapping out the curves of my body before settling at my waist, slipping beneath the hem of my shirt and finding skin.
His forehead came to rest against mine while he traced lazy, mesmerizing movements against me with his fingertips.
He lifted his gaze, meeting my slightly-dazed stare.
My heart thumped faster, remembering the way he’d looked at me in my room the other morning, right before…
“Say it again,” I whispered. “Now that you aren’t delirious from a narrowly-thwarted demonic possession.”
He leaned a little farther away, a hint of a smile on his lips, his eyes shining with amusement, but also with a clear understanding of exactly what I wanted—needed—to hear.
“I love you,” he whispered, gripping my chin and guiding my lips back to his for a slow, gentle kiss. “Though, for the record, I wasn’t delirious when I said it before. Were you?”
I hesitated but decided to tell him the truth. “I constantly feel like I’m walking a line between insanity and reality, here lately.”
His smile faded slightly. He brushed his hand across my cheek, taking hold of a strand of my hair and twirling it thoughtfully around his fingers for a moment before meeting my eyes again. His gaze was unflinching, full of promise and the sort of desire that made everything else glide to a stop.
“This is real,” he said. “Trust me.”
I managed an exhale.
A nod.
I took his hand again and led him onward. It was late enough that the area was entirely deserted, but we still wove our way deeper, as far as we could get from the stairs leading to the upper palace—all the way to the darkest, quietest pool we could find.
Aleks dipped his hand into the water and summoned a faint pulse of light, allowing us to gage the depth. He let the glow linger, but even then, the space remained dark and private enough that I didn’t hesitate to strip off my clothing.
He followed my lead with perfectly casual grace, and I stumbled a bit at the sight. I’d seen him naked before, of course, but something about seeing him in this setting was different. The darkness, the steam, the stone walls glittering faintly in the light…
And we were alone.
Finally together, and finally alone, after so many long weeks.
Desire raced from the top of my scalp down through the tips of my toes—until Eamon’s warnings whispered through my mind again.
I turned my back to Aleks, at least for the moment, focusing instead on scrubbing myself clean.
He didn’t pressure me into anything more than this. We merely existed together for a half hour, maybe longer. The peace, the warmth, the closeness…it was quiet, simple bliss. A rapture that felt unearned—or maybe just strange underneath the weight of everything happening in the world outside.
The heat eventually started to make me feel dizzy, so I hoisted myself out and sat on the edge of the pool, feet still in the water. There was a cool breeze drifting in from somewhere; refreshing, at first, but I soon grabbed Aleksander’s shirt and slid it over my chilled, pebbling skin.
He continued to swim in the basin. His magic ebbed and flowed with his movements, though overall his light remained faint. The darkness and the murky, mineral-rich water hid much of his body, but I was still entirely too aware of his nakedness.
I tried to keep myself from staring at him. To convince myself to be cautious, as Eamon had insisted.
I was…not particularly successful.
After a while, Aleks waded over to where I sat, wrapping his arms around my bare legs and pulling them together so he could rest his chin on my knees.
Another wave of peaceful bliss overcame me, because he seemed so at peace.
He studied me from underneath his lashes, occasionally planting kisses on my thighs.
The movements were gentle. Sweet. Much more wholesome than what I really wanted him to do in that moment.
Caution, I reminded myself, cheeks burning as I glanced away.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked.
“Nothing.”
He gave a quiet laugh.
“What?”
“You’re a terrible liar.”
I bit my lip and lifted my gaze to the ceiling. I didn’t want to tell him about my conversation with Eamon, so instead I picked one of the dozens of other fears running endless circles in my mind.
“If I’m right about what I saw, it will mean returning to my old home, facing what’s become of Rose Point, reliving all that happened on the night of my eighteenth birthday…
and I’m just wondering what I’m supposed to do, going back there with all I know now.
With all the new magic I’m capable of. My mother and half of my old palace were still frozen under a spell when I left.
I set out to save them months ago, and even with everything else I’m facing now, I need to somehow fix that, too.
I wonder if there’s any hope of reviving them? ”
I didn’t expect an answer; he surprised me by giving one.
“I think there is.” He stood up straighter, moving his hands to my hips.
He was tall enough that we were eye-to-eye even though he stayed in the pool.
My knees parted so he could move closer, and my thoughts strayed again to how little clothing separated us.
I regretted the shirt I wore; I wanted to feel his warm skin against mine.
“We’ve worked our magic to revive beings here in Noctaris, haven’t we?” he pointed out. “We can do it again.”
“The spell over my old home isn’t like anything we’ve faced here. And our magic isn’t exactly predictable, either. It definitely won’t work the same in the Above as it does in this realm… Need I remind you about the last time we collided at Rose Point?”
“It will be different, this time.”
“Will it?”
“We’re different.”
For better or worse? I couldn’t help wondering.
“Trust me, Nova.”
There were those words again. He made it sound so simple. And I knew it was anything but simple—we were anything but simple—but his attempt to reassure me still made my heart flutter.
He leaned even closer, sliding his hands around to the small of my back. His hold was gentle, yet strong. I draped my arms around his neck, drawing his face closer to mine. I couldn’t help it; I wanted to steady myself against him and no one else, caution be damned.
We stayed that way for I don’t know how long, lost in each other’s gaze, tied together by the same thoughts and fears.
At some point, his lips found mine again, pressing against me with the same gentle certainty as his embrace.
His fingertips dug into the base of my spine, pulling me forward and deeper into the kiss.
I braced one hand against the warm stone for balance and brought the other up to the back of his neck, gripping and crushing his lips more completely to mine.
This is real.
I’d believed it when he said it earlier.
Why couldn’t I hold on to that belief?
Mere inches existed between my body and his, but I still feared the emptiness between us.
Within us. Part of me longed for the alcohol I’d been using to fill the spaces, or maybe for the endless meetings and royal duties that I loathed, but which felt like smaller, easier battles to occupy myself with, at least.
I’d pulled away without realizing it, drifting off into my thoughts; Aleks was staring at me, his brow furrowed with concern.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Why are you apologizing?”
“Because I keep slipping away like that. Going numb without meaning to. I just…” I trailed off with a shrug.
“Numb?”
“Trying to protect myself from something, maybe.”
He was quiet for a moment, and then, “…From me?”
There was no hint of accusation in his voice, yet the words still cut like blades through my chest.
My reply was shaky when it finally found its way out. “I missed you. These past weeks without you, I…I haven’t been handling it all very well. I just tried to keep myself from feeling things.”
“How?”
“It doesn’t matter.” Concerned disagreement flashed in his eyes, but I continued before he could speak.
“I was starting to get addicted to numbing away the pain. It was easier than thinking about my feelings for you. Even now, there’s a part of me that thinks it would be easier to keep my distance. You know, in case…”
In case Eamon is right, and this is all a trick.
I couldn’t breathe, suddenly.
And I hoped with everything in me that Aleks couldn’t read my mind in that moment.