Chapter 19 #2
I was lost for several moments in a floating, peaceful euphoria. When I blinked back into awareness, I found Aleks watching me with nearly the same intensity as before. Another wave of release rolled through me, curling my toes and making the corner of his mouth quirk.
He pulled his fingers from between my legs and traced the curve of my shoulder, the dip of my collarbone, the line of my throat. His lips followed the trail of his touch. When I shivered, he paused.
“Cold?” he murmured against my neck.
“No.” My voice came out breathless. “I’m never cold with you.”
He smiled against my skin, and warmth bloomed through me. I huddled closer to that warmth. Closed my eyes and focused on the feel of his heart beating rapidly in time with mine.
After a moment, I started to turn, thinking of repositioning myself for sleep, but he placed a hand on the small of my back and held me in place. His other hand brushed against my cheek as he said, “Let me fall asleep inside you.”
The thought made me blush, but suddenly, I wanted nothing more in the world than to do exactly what he’d asked.
I settled halfway on top of him, straddling his body and sinking down into a position that was surprisingly comfortable.
He was already growing hard again. The feeling of fullness, along with the occasional twitch of desire against my inner walls, rendered me into something soft and boneless, all warmth and sensation and utter contentment.
I never wanted to leave.
I looked up at Aleks from under my lashes. He cupped my cheek and angled my face toward his.
“I love you,” he whispered against my lips.
I repeated the words back to him several times as we drifted toward dreaming, reveling in the way they made his heart beat faster and his arms circle me more tightly every time.
We slept for an hour, at most, before a combination of heat and arousal stirred me back awake—but it was the most blissful hour I’d had in a very long time.
His eyes fluttered open shortly after mine. For a moment, we just stared at one another, the smoldering embers of desire rekindling.
But there was something else stirring beneath that desire, now: Uncertainty. Fear. My stomach knotted. I rolled off of him and onto my side, facing the window, watching drops of rain slide down it. Aleks followed my lead, loosely draping an arm around me.
“I wish we could stay like this,” I whispered.
“I know.” His hold tightened, pulling me closer once more. “Me too.”
Several minutes passed in silence. I concentrated on the steady thrum of his heartbeat against my back. Out of habit, I soon found myself trying to listen to his thoughts, to connect as we’d managed to do in the days prior…
Only to hit a wall of silence.
Just like I had when I’d tried to connect with his thoughts outside of Rose Point—and several times after that.
Was he blocking me out on purpose?
Or was something more sinister at work? Was it part of the effect Lorien’s soul was having on him? I wanted to stay in a state of ignorant bliss, but suddenly all I could think about was the reason I’d sought Aleks out in the first place, hours ago.
Sitting up, I quietly said, “I think we need to talk.”
“…About?”
“About how you’ve been strange since we collected that piece of Lorien’s soul.”
“I was strange long before that.” He yawned. “So were you. Maybe that’s why we fit so well together.”
“Maybe.” I tried to smile but didn’t quite manage it. “It seems like something new is bothering you, though.”
He shifted, rearranging the blankets tangled around us. For a moment, I thought he might wrap himself up in them and roll away from me. But he seemed to decide against it, releasing a soft sigh and taking my hand instead. He draped a blanket around us both and pulled me to his chest.
Tempting as it was to simply nestle closer to him and disappear beneath that blanket for a while, I forced myself to keep pushing for answers.
“You’re…you’re scaring me, Aleks.”
He went still. Every muscle tensed. I’m not sure he was even breathing.
“I just need to know you’re okay.”
With obvious effort, he made himself exhale. He brushed a strand of hair from my face. “I’m fine. Just a little off balance. It will pass, I’m sure.”
I started to lift my eyes to his, but my gaze snagged on the downward curve of his lips. I didn’t know what else to say, so I kissed him instead, just trying to get back to the way things had been only an hour before.
He returned the kiss, but there was a distance to it. A hesitation that hadn’t been there earlier.
“We should rest while we can,” he said as he pulled away.
Reluctantly, I agreed.
He settled down into the pillows, taking me with him so that my head rested against his heartbeat. I wanted to keep pushing, to demand answers, but exhaustion was pulling at me—the kind of bone-deep weariness that came from too many battles fought and too many truths uncovered in too short a time.
His fingers traced slow, thoughtful patterns against my skin, the touch soothing despite my concerns.
“You wouldn’t keep secrets from me, right?” I whispered against his bare chest, my eyes growing heavy.
He just pulled me closer, pressing his lips against the top of my head. Warmth cocooned me, a combination of his strong arms and his magic both wrapping tightly around me.
I waited for his reply, fighting against sleep. But the only sound was his beating heart and the soft whisper of his breathing.
I drifted off before I heard his answer—if he gave one at all.
I woke in the middle of the night to find myself cold and alone, with no sign of Aleks or the warm blanket of magic he’d used to help me fall asleep.
Something didn’t feel right.
I crawled from the bed, pulled on my clothes, and silently made my way through the house, searching.
He was nowhere to be found.
I eventually made my way into the kitchen, where Orin sat nursing a mug of what smelled like peppermint tea.
We weren’t in his house, yet it still felt like I was walking into a familiar scene—like one of the countless times I’d woken up, gone to pour myself a glass of water, and found him sitting at the kitchen table lost in the labyrinth of his own mind.
A sweet for your thoughts? I used to ask, and then I would take one from the ample supply he kept in the frog-shaped jar on the counter, give it as an offering, and we’d usually spend the rest of the night talking about anything I had on my mind.
I probably could have benefitted from one of those long, comforting talks now. But my gaze kept sliding toward the door; I was eager to keep searching.
Orin shifted in his seat, the creak of the old chair splitting through the dusty kitchen as he turned to me. “You’re looking for Aleksander.”
“…It’s not like him to leave without telling me where he’s going.”
“Has he been doing a lot of things that are not like him lately?”
A chill swept down my spine.
“Sit for a moment,” said Orin.
He was using his stern mentor voice, so I sat. But I couldn’t keep my anxious gaze off the door.
“Are you certain it’s safe to go looking for him on your own?”
Something told me he knew the answer was ‘no’. He was just trying to get me to realize it—to admit it to myself.
“I don’t really care about safe,” I said.
He snorted. “Well, nothing has changed there, now has it?”
I drummed my fingers against the worn table. “Can we get to the point of this lesson, please?”
“Earlier, I mentioned other monsters. Other enemies you needed to be wary of, aside from just Lorien.”
An uncomfortable thought slowly snaked its way through my mind, making my scalp crawl, but I didn’t say it out loud.
Orin watched me silently. Expectantly.
“Where is Aleks?” I demanded. “What have you done to him?”
“He left of his own accord, don’t worry. And he likely hasn’t gone far.” He lifted the steaming mug of tea only to set it back down again. Anxious. Clearly anxious.
Orin never looked anxious.
What was going on?
I glanced again to the door, but I couldn’t bring myself to get up. “No more riddles. Tell me what you know about him, the Order—all of it.”
A flash of lightning lit the room, followed by a distant rumble of thunder. Orin’s eyes darted to the window as he gripped the edge of the table, bracing himself as if to stand. I thought he might rush outside, but then he fixed his gaze back on me.
“I’ve been speaking with your other allies,” he said. “Having them fill in some details and answer questions about the notes Eamon sent. I’m starting to get a somewhat clearer picture of the mess surrounding you, Lorien, and Aleksander.”
“And?”
“And you know that Aleksander is a descendant of King Argoth?”
I nodded slowly, confused.
What did Argoth have to do with any of this?
“It was the Void Order who ultimately drove Calista and Lorien apart,” Orin explained. “But this was done at King Argoth’s command. He was one of the Order’s most powerful founding members.”
“A command he made out of jealousy?” I asked. “Because he loved her, and he was afraid Lorien might interfere with that love?”
“That’s always been my belief.”
I turned this over in my mind several times. “Did Calista actually love Lorien, though?”
“Once upon a time, maybe.” Orin’s expression tightened.
“Love is a fickle, complicated thing, isn’t it?
We can only guess at their true feelings for one another.
And you’ll find that much of their history—all history, for that matter—changes depending on who’s telling the story.
King Argoth wanted her to kill Lorien. Of that much I’m sure, at this point.
But I believe it was more about his desire to control the Vaeloran Cycle than anything else. ”
“She didn’t kill Lorien, though. She just…scattered him. Cursed him.”