Chapter 1 #2
He chuckled to himself and shook his head, debating how much to confess.
One thing he knew for sure was that the passage of time had not changed how he felt about her.
He still loved her, perhaps even more now than he had in April.
Despite his efforts to forget her, after leaving her in Hertfordshire and again in Kent, he knew he would never love another.
Taking a deep breath, he confessed all. “At first, certainly, I was angry, then I felt resignation mixed with a tinge of despair. I have felt frustration—mostly at myself and at my own stupidity for assuming you returned my affection and were expecting my addresses. Resolved—for a moment, I thought I could forget you, but I confess, that was impossible, Elizabeth.” He paused, taking her hand in his.
Feeling no resistance, he brought it to his lips, gently caressing it as he looked deeply into her eyes.
“And then again, despair at the idea of never seeing you again. Finally, I have become determined—to fix the parts of my character you had found wanting so I could prove myself worthy of you.” He paused again for a moment, his eyes imploring hers.
“And at this moment, I must admit that I finally feel hope. A hope that maybe, just maybe, my letter may have changed your opinion of me enough that you might willingly give me a chance to win your heart.”
He watched her eyes as he spoke and watched the play of emotions over her face and the deepening colour that rose in her cheeks.
Part of him was stunned at his open admission, possibly as shocked as she was at hearing it.
But, if he were honest with himself, he believed fate was at work in bringing them back together and that if he was going to have another chance, he had to do better than he had done before.
This time, he thought to himself, I will leave her in no doubt of how I feel for her.
Neither spoke for a moment. “How is it possible that you do not hate me after the unjust accusations I threw at you?” she asked.
“I love you, Elizabeth,” he breathed. “There is nothing you could do or say that could make me truly hate you. From the beginning of our relationship, such as it has been, you have entranced me, challenged me, and tempted me. Your wit, your humour, and your liveliness all have captured my attention completely. I was a poor suitor; I realised that fact too late. Richard castigated me for a fool when I told him what happened that night in the parsonage, and he was right to do so. When I was with you, I was silent and unyielding. I sat and watched you when I should have been speaking to you and trying to win your heart. I would like another chance if you would be willing to give it.”
She stared at him for several minutes. “Why have you not come back to Hertfordshire?” she asked, giving nothing away of her feelings.
“I did not think you would want me to,” he admitted softly.
“I have thought about it many times. In fact, Bingley will be here tomorrow, along with his sisters and mine. I planned to talk to him about Miss Bennet and see if, after a week or two here, he would like to send his sisters somewhere else so he and I could go back to Netherfield … for the shooting, of course.” He grinned at her, appearing almost boyish.
“He has been away from London since Easter, visiting his family and friends in York, and we had only met briefly in London before coming here. I … I have not had an opportunity to speak to him before now and planned to do so here. I did not want to make my confession to him in a letter, but perhaps I should have. Would … would we still be welcomed by the neighbours if we were to come back to Netherfield?”
“You would both be very welcome in Hertfordshire,” she said so softly he had to lean in to hear her. He smiled at her on hearing the emphasis placed on both and opened his mouth to say more.
Just then, they heard voices approaching. “Elizabeth, where are you?” a female voice called.
She smiled at him and murmured, “My aunt and uncle.” Then she called, raising her voice to be heard, “Here I am, Aunt.”
The others came around a curve in the path, and all stopped short when they saw the pair standing together. “Mr. Darcy,” the gardener called. “I am glad to see you home, sir. We didn’t expect you until tomorrow.”
“Thank you, Chambers. I found I needed to come sooner than the rest, and I am delighted I did. Miss Elizabeth, will you introduce me to your relations?” he asked graciously.
“Mr. Darcy, allow me to introduce you to Uncle Edward Gardiner and my Aunt Madeline Gardiner. My uncle owns Gardiner Imports, located in Cheapside in London,” Elizabeth said. “Aunt and Uncle, this is Mr. Darcy.”
“Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner,” Mr. Darcy began, “welcome to Pemberley. I hope you are enjoying your visit. Have you finished your tour?”
“Yes, Mr. Darcy,” Madeline Gardiner answered, surprised at the polite greeting from the Master of Pemberley after what Elizabeth had said of him in the winter.
“Your estate is lovely. Although I am sure there is much we have not seen, the parts of the house and gardens we saw were enchanting. What did you think of the grounds, Lizzy?”
“There is much to admire at Pemberley,” Elizabeth said, glancing shyly at Mr. Darcy. “The gardens are indeed wonderful. There is much to see, and I am sure we have only seen a small portion.”
“I have only just arrived,” Mr. Darcy said, indicating his dishevelled and dusty attire, “but if you would care to explore further, I would welcome your company for refreshments in a quarter of an hour, perhaps.”
Mrs. Gardiner looked at Lizzy for confirmation. Then, at her slight nod, she accepted his invitation for the group. “Thank you, Mr. Darcy. We would love to join you for refreshments.”
Mr. Darcy nodded and headed toward the house to change.
Mrs. Gardiner took Elizabeth’s arm and whispered to her.
“How did this happen, Lizzy? How on earth did you come upon Mr. Darcy? And after how you described him in December, I am surprised that he would offer us refreshments in his home, although Mrs. Reynolds took a much more positive view of him. And spoke differently about another gentleman from Derbyshire.”
“I met with Mr. Darcy again in Kent, Aunt,” Elizabeth said. “I have found that he improves with further acquaintance. And I have learned that the other man is anything but a gentleman.”
Mrs. Gardiner looked at her niece for a moment but did not speak, and after a moment, the three continued their tour.
Before long, too short a time for Elizabeth to be ready to see Mr. Darcy again, Mr. Chambers delivered them again to the front of the house.
Mrs. Reynolds once again welcomed them into the house and escorted them into a drawing room they had not seen on their earlier tour.
She seemed to look over Elizabeth much more carefully this time and wondered about the master’s invitation of these visitors in for refreshments, something he had never done before.
Mr. Darcy greeted them with a smile. “Welcome again,” he said. “I never asked, how do you come to be at Pemberley?”
Mrs. Gardiner answered for the group. “We had intended to visit the Lakes but had to abbreviate our trip, deciding to visit Derbyshire instead. I grew up in Lambton—my father was the vicar there for many years—so we thought we would take the opportunity to visit some old friends while we were here and use Lambton as the base for our other excursions.”
“And how long will you stay in the area?” Mr. Darcy asked.
“I must be back in London by the end of August for business,” Mr. Gardiner answered. “We arrived the day before yesterday and will stay in the area another week complete. We will take our time returning and delivering Lizzy to Longbourn before collecting our children and returning to London.”
“Mr. Gardiner, I believe my uncle, the Earl of Matlock, mentioned that he has been investing with an importer in Cheapside recently. That would not be you, would it? It would explain why your name seems so familiar,” Mr. Darcy asked, suddenly recalling the man’s name.
“Yes, he began investing with me just after Christmas to diversify some of his holdings. He mentioned he was going to encourage a nephew to do the same. I believe we have a meeting scheduled early in September, shortly after I return to London,” Mr. Gardiner answered.
“My uncle mentioned a meeting and encouraged me to attend,” Mr. Darcy said. “I am looking forward to learning more about your business and the potential for investment with you.”
“Edward, you are on holiday,” Mrs. Gardiner chided before he could begin. “No business talk.”
“Yes, dear,” Mr. Gardiner complied, winking at Mr. Darcy, who grinned back at him. Elizabeth looked at him in surprise, unused to seeing that expression on his face.
“Might we speak about fishing, madam?” Darcy asked, smiling when he received a nod from the lady. “Mr. Gardiner, do you care for the sport?”
“Indeed, I do,” he said. “In London, I have few opportunities, but I enjoy the diversion when I can manage it.”
“We have several streams on the estate that are ideal for fishing, and the lake, depending on the type of fishing you prefer,” Mr. Darcy explained.
“If you would like, you can return to fish tomorrow or the next day. However, if you wait until the day after tomorrow, Mr. Bingley and Mr. Hurst will also be here and would be happy to join us.”
“Well, sir, I would enjoy that very much.” Mr. Gardiner said.
“Mrs. Gardiner, Miss Elizabeth, my sister would very much enjoy your company when Mr. Gardiner comes to fish. I would like to bring Miss Darcy to the inn tomorrow to meet you if you would allow it, and then you could join her for tea, perhaps, on the following day.” Mr. Darcy suggested.
“My sister would very much like to make your acquaintance, Miss Elizabeth, and I hope you would allow me to introduce her to you while you are visiting.”