Chapter 17
gentleness and grace of a swan
Nick
When I thought about the holidays in terms of a social calendar like Candy did, I wasn’t sure what I thought about Christmas.
It was like it was the head-banging portion of the year, not the joyful one it was supposed to be.
At one time, an event or two was no big deal and the holiday could still be salvaged, but not anymore.
The current event we were at—Teddy and Irina’s—might’ve been the icing on the goddamn cake, though.
These two were nothing more than self-proclaimed American royalty, which basically meant they were plentiful in social standing and wealth.
It always boiled down to what was in the bank.
If they had more money than God, they were worthy, important.
Forget the fact that those things also made them delusional because they actually believed all that horseshit to be accurate.
What was so troubling, though, was how Candy could be as smart as a whip and still be suckered into this world.
I, on the other hand, never let this world get to me.
I knew it was all phony bullshit, and everyone had skeletons in their closets.
Hell, we did, and it was one ugly word…separation.
Old money. New money. It didn’t make a difference.
To the outside world, we were all the same since we made it seem that way.
I was tired of it because, at some point, it was what had contaminated our marriage.
Now we wore a cloak, a disguise that we put on before we left the house. Sadly, in terms of our relationship, Candy put it on the moment she got out of the shower and slithered under our Italian satin sheets.
Our marriage had become no different than a tedious ballet performance. There were a lot of complicated steps, making the moves as dreadful as watching the performance. But not much more could be expected when two strong-willed, stubborn as hell people took the stage together.
My throat clogged with a ball of emotion as I stared across the room at Candy, who had been busy making her rounds and talking with most of the other guests since we had arrived.
I wasn’t sure who she was speaking to at the moment, but the woman was talking animatedly, probably about something materialistic or useless.
Candy’s eyes were void of emotion as she glanced down every now and again at the glass of champagne in her hand.
The rings on her finger sparkled in the light from the chandelier.
I’d never seen anything belong on someone’s finger more than her engagement and wedding ring did on hers.
Her engagement ring was a Crane family heirloom. It had been my grandmother’s, and while she never got to see me put it on Candy’s finger, I always knew that she would have been pleased. The red diamond stood out in the most elegant of ways, just as Candy did.
Teddy had been going on in my ear for the better portion of the evening, much to my undeniable dismay. I’d done an admirable job of paying attention too. Until I’d spotted Candy. Then everything else paled in comparison, and Teddy and his words faded into the background.
I kept my eyes fixed on my wife. She was nodding at something that was said.
She was poised and calm in her actions, laughing quietly, barely opening her mouth.
Then, she must’ve been excusing herself from the conversation, because she placed her hand gently on the woman’s arm, her stare impossible to interpret as anything but warm.
She was the type of person people felt they could come up to at a party and talk to.
They should have only known that, with or without the fireplace at home, it was always blistering cold where Candy was concerned.
Tonight, she’d placed her hair in some tight-as-fuck knot on her head.
She flaunted long diamond earrings, a delicate diamond necklace that sat comfortably at the nape of her neck, and a silver dress.
Not a single woman in here held a candle to her, and not even all of the money in the world would change that.
I could hear my blood drumming in my ears.
How am I supposed to let her go?
My primal instinct was always to observe her surroundings closely and make sure she was safe as she navigated the room.
I might’ve been refined, but I’d have no problem laying someone up in a hospital bed if need be.
Anything to protect her. Although that was probably as unnecessary here as it was anywhere we went.
The people we ran in circles with weren’t the type to try anything funny.
“Come on, Nick. You don’t have to answer right now, but I’ve just laid it all out for you,” Teddy said, pulling my attention back to him and this dry conversation.
Teddy only had a few topics in his arsenal to discuss, and when he’d begun talking to me, he’d bored me with the dreadful details of some investment he was making. “Will you be investing?”
I caught Candy in the crowd again. It was hard to miss her in the sea of red and black. People were outlandishly unoriginal. Honestly, I pitied some people. Tossing Teddy a bone, I said, “Uh. No, I don’t think so.”
Teddy laughed, his wildly deep baritone hard not to catch even in my distracted state. “You have to know that this would be a fine investment.”
I didn’t know any such thing. Anything Teddy said, I tended to make sure went in one ear and right out the other.
It was best that way. So, it was unlikely I’d take information from him seriously.
On matters of investing, as with most things, I went with my gut.
It hadn’t steered me wrong yet. “Maybe, but it’s not for me,” I answered simply, hoping that killed the conversation.
Meanwhile, Candy’s presence haunted me. I couldn’t seem to stop myself from looking for her and finding her in the room.
She was constantly moving. What I loved most was how she moved with the gentleness and grace of a swan.
She’d come a long way from the clumsy, frantic woman I’d met waiting for a taxi.
“Figured. It’s a shame, but I understand. Every man has to do their own thing.” Teddy took a swig of whatever poison filled his glass.
His acceptance of my decision meant nothing to me. Unlike his wife or the people who worked for him, I didn’t care how much was in his bank account. It didn’t make me think any more of him.
“That aside, are you and Candy doing anything special for Christmas?”
Yeah, counting down the days until January second.
“Not particularly. We have family in town. We’ll probably spend the day with them.
” In reality, I had no fucking clue, but it made the most sense, so I went with it.
Now, had he asked me about all of the days leading up to Christmas, my answer would have been a lot different.
Candy made sure we were appropriately booked as always.
For the foreseeable future, I’d be making everyone’s lives brighter by going to social events, charity events, and blah, blah, blah.
Teddy knew a thing or two about that crap, being married to Irina, the woman Candy seemed to always silently compete with, but I didn’t feel like getting into any of that with him.
“If you’ll excuse me, I think I see Candy. ”
Teddy nodded as he loosened his red silk tie. “Of course.” His gaze fell down to his glass, which was empty. He frowned. “I think I’ll find the bartender.”
* * *
CANDY
My sweaty palm was hardly holding the champagne flute any longer, so I laid it down on a table.
It felt like I was in an elevator that was plummeting, and I had no place to go but down…
to my death. This dress was too tight for its own good.
Between the pack of warm bodies and the roaring fire, I could feel a trickle of sweat run down the back of my neck.
The last thing I needed was a sweat mark on my dress.
The fabric wouldn’t survive it. It would need to be dry cleaned immediately.
One faux pas, and this entire event would be remembered as the time Candy Crane reminded everyone how unfit she was to be married to a man like Nick Crane.
I wasn’t na?ve enough to think that perhaps some of these women didn’t feel the same way.
Not that I’d ever have confirmation. It wasn’t something one just talked about, especially when they could hide it behind face lifts, lip fillers, and other injectables.
Unfortunately, they’d soon learn those things were out and aging gracefully was in.
The truth was that no one smiled as much as some of these women did. No one was that confident, that happy. I believed it all to be for show.
And, boy, was it a good show.
Nick thought I liked these events, that I wanted to attend, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I just accepted what I had to. This was our social responsibility. Otherwise, we’d be ostracized. Or, worse, judged.
They’re going through a terrible ordeal right now.
I heard Nick is cheating on her with a younger, hotter floozy.
Candy finally went back to whatever small town she came from.
They lost all of their money and are moving to Florida.
They’re divorcing.
Nick is leaving Candy and she didn’t get a dime thanks to their prenup.
With my thoughts on how little I wanted to be here, I missed something that had been said. The laughter around me was enough of a cue, though, for me to pretend I’d been deeply invested in whatever was being discussed.
The ugly reality was that this party was grating on my last nerve for some reason. It had never happened before. It shouldn’t have been happening. And yet, it was.
I usually had far more tolerance.
Maybe I needed more champagne.
Then, as if he instinctively knew what I needed, Nick slipped one arm around my waist and passed me another glass of champagne with the other.