Chapter 7
MIKEY
Leaning back against a tent pole outside the chow hall, I let the sun beat down on my face, and blew some smoke from my nose. My belly wasn’t as hungry as it had been, the stench was gone after a quick wipe down and a change into a different uniform. This moment of simple pause couldn’t have been more needed.
“Yo! Mikey! You’ve got a letter!” a soldier called out, someone I vaguely recognized. He jogged my way, waving the envelope in the air. I hadn’t bothered to check mail, wasn’t planning on checking at all this deployment since the only person who used to write to me was my ex.
As I stood upright, my feet carried me across the sand to meet him. “From who?” I asked, though I knew the answer before he spoke, as my eyes scanned the name in the upper left hand corner. Snatching the letter from his hands, I grumbled, “You’re fucking kidding me.”
The soldier took a step back, his brows furrowing, so I quickly offered him a comforting smile—one that didn’t extend too far upon my face. “That was not directed at you.”
“Oh…” His gaze twitched over my shoulder. “Okay.” And he scurried away.
My fingers tore at the short edge of the envelope, the paper hissing as I rounded a corner, my feet mindlessly taking me back to the tent that would provide me with some privacy. The rest of the team was still in the chow tent, while I’d finished early to step out and have a smoke.
A much needed one. The second cigarette used from Griffin’s gift.
Rolling it around on my tongue, I ducked under the tent flaps of the shared sleeping quarters and plodded toward my bedroll. It was closest to Scottie’s, but also as far away as I could respectfully put it—nearly on top of Duncan’s as a result.
Staring at the letter still folded, dread filled my stomach. I didn’t want to read whatever Rachel had written. There was a reason that I’d blocked her number from my phone and hadn’t told her that I temporarily lived with Jane and Griffin while finding a new house. So how the hell did she know—
Right, you idiot.
Inhaling deeply, I puffed out some smoke and unfolded the letter.
Mike,
I know we left things a little rough. I know you’ve blocked me from your phone and refuse to tell me where you’ve moved. But you clearly still want me or I wouldn’t still be your emergency contact which means I wouldn’t have been notified that you left on deployment.
Baby, please forgive me. I miss you. I’m so sorry. He means nothing to me. He meant nothing to me. I don’t understand how you were able to so easily kick me out and make me homeless! I lived in my car for a month trying to find a place to live because you wouldn’t take my calls.
I just wanted to apologize. I love you. I just got a little lonely, which wouldn’t have ever happened if you stayed home. You didn’t need to re-enlist. You could retire, or get out, or however. Am I not worth it to you?
You talk about how it’s the one job you feel like you’re good at, but was I not enough for you? I could make it all worth it.
Please, just forgive me,
Love your STILL fiancée,
Rachel.
As I wadded the letter up in a ball, the paper scratched against my palm. I hurled it aimlessly through the air.
And looked up as it bounced off Scottie’s stomach. As I snapped my teeth together, she pursed her lips and cocked a hip—all feisty-like. “Ow,” she blandly said.
“Oh, don’t whine like a baby. That didn’t hurt,” I retorted.
“Yeah, ’cause you throw ’bout as well as a baby,” she snipped and bent down, picking up the crumpled letter off the ground.
“Don’t you fucking read that.” I shot up off of the bedroll right as she tossed it back at me.
“I wasn’t going to, Blondie.” She quietly walked toward me as my fingers wrapped around the paper, catching it. Pausing in front of me, she tipped her head. “Something wrong?”
“It’s nothing,” I answered.
“Says the guy who already got a letter from home and we’ve only been out for what? Four days now?”
My eyes tracked her as she walked over to her bedroll and plopped herself down, scrunching her knees up to her chest. Somehow, despite the lack of proper running water, her hair was still as black as night and just as shiny.
“Definitely wasn’t expecting a letter,” I muttered, sitting down to face her.
“You don’t have to worry about making me jealous that your family actually cares about your wellbeing out here.” She gave me a pained smile.
“It wasn’t from my family.”
“Oh?”
I said nothing, not exactly wanting to discuss a rather sore and annoying topic about a woman with another woman.
She slowly nodded. “And you’re not going to say anything, are you?”
“Nope.” I pursed my lips and leaned back against the palms of my hands.
“Alright, then tell me how you got your call sign.” She arched a brow, her eyes staring into mine. Hard.
“Nah.”
“Excuse me?”
“I said no.” It took everything in me to keep the smile from forming on my face, but I wanted to see how far I could push her buttons with this.
“You said you would.” She let her knees fall away from her chest.
“Yeah, but I changed my mind.”
“You don’t get to just change your mind,” she sassed, mimicking me with the final three words.
“I can do whatever the fuck I want.”
“I bet it’s just because you’re embarrassed about how you got your call sign.”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I’m the one to tell you,” I answered, leaning forward as her eyes darkened. Something fuzzy, like television static roared low in my stomach. A strange feeling as this woman I barely knew sat across from me.
“Try me.” She cocked a brow and scooted toward me. I tipped my head, watching as she breathed slowly, her chest rising and falling rhythmically. Her uniform sat rather comfortably around her athletic body. My heart jumped into my throat as she placed her palms against the ground and braced her weight on them.
Triceps on her sable-colored arms popped beneath the pressure, and it surprised me that I found myself drawn to them; I was curious as to how strong she was. “How about this: Pick the lift, and if you beat me, I’ll tell you.”
“No way. I’m not an idiot. I can see all your muscles. There’s no way I could beat you.” She traced a hand through the air over my torso.
“But I’ve had a shirt on all the time. There are lifts that don’t involve the arms.”
“Uh, the way you tossed dead bodies over your shoulder? And I’ve seen you without your shirt when you were changing. You have more than just arm muscles.”
“Like what you saw?” I said without thinking.
Her eyes immediately widened and her cheeks flushed red.
My stomach flipped, falling beneath my boots where I stomped on it myself.
“I’m sorry. That was inappropriate,” I quickly retracted, looking at everything but her. “Look, I just… It’s been a long time since a woman… I’ve never gotten with a woman in the military, and don’t intend… I’m just—”
“It’s fine.” From my peripherals I watched as she slid away from me, putting space between us.
Fucking idiot. I was an absolute idiot. It wasn’t even like I was attracted to her. After an entire leave spent without flirting with a single woman, plus the letter from Rachel, I was caught off guard. Yeah, that had to be it.
The awkwardness spread thickly like a blanket over the tent. Why had no one else returned?
“So,” I stupidly said, trying to fill space that had become extremely uncomfortable.
“So,” she muttered, sliding herself back even farther. Her back bumped against the tent wall and her rifle case flopped over. Scottie darted a hand toward it and attempted to lean it back up. I watched as she attempted three different times to get it to return to its usual spot, biting back my widening grin the entire time.
“Have you ever heard the expression about what insanity is?” I teased, and she spun around, shooting me a glare that should’ve sliced my nuts off at that moment.
“That is not what’s happening here.” She twisted back around and shoved the case up against the tent wall.
Again.
It fell over.
Again.
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over yet expecting—”
“I know what it is!” She cut me off and shoved the rifle case one more time against the tent wall. Where of course, it didn’t stay upright. “Don’t you dare open your fucking mouth!”
I grinned, waiting as she ran a hand over her bun and slowly pulled out the pins while turning to face me. The smile fell unintentionally from my lips as my eyes tracked her fingers dancing over her hair.
“You’re not going to tell anyone, right?” she whispered, letting the bun loose. “About my hair at the moment.” A braid untwisted and fell down her back. Long. Brushing against the bed roll she sat on.
An uncontained urge to run my fingers through it roared hot in the pit of my stomach. She wasn’t that far away and we were alone…
“You needed to fix it to meet regulations after the shower,” I mindlessly muttered, giving her a passing excuse if someone higher ranked were to show up and see her with it out of the bun. My head swam, dizzy from the whiplash and strange sensations that definitely were not happening.
Her eyes met mine and I was once again counting the black speckles. Twenty-seven so far. My heart raced as fast as a hundred horses running wild. Everything twisted hot in my core; my skin ran warm—and not from the heat of the desert.
She remained silent; neither of us moved. Her gaze darkened, and the sand shifted beneath us, screaming at me to cross the small gap between us. I just had to get closer to her, I needed to be closer.
“You had no right to get upset with me earlier,” she finally muttered, the conviction of her frustration only halfway as intense as it had been initially.
My mind still refused to think, to process anything.
Still spaced out, I mumbled, “Uh huh.” It sounded even dumber than it felt leaving my tongue.
“I’m a phenomenal shot. I didn’t graduate top of my class because I am pretty.” She scooted closer toward me.
Swallowing stiffly, my mind roaring hot with nothing but thoughts of her skin beneath my palms, I nodded. “I figured.”
“Ah, so you think I’m pretty.” She leaned forward, crawling toward me. Like a spell had settled over my body, all control fled my limbs.
A war erupted in my head. One side reminded me that she was a woman who was not to be trusted. That no matter what happened, in the end I’d be left scorned again, just how Rachel left me. Another side battled to win, knowing that she was merely toying with me. Scottie was a teammate. That was it.
“I’ve met some real ugly fuckers who were snipers before. How pretty you are or not doesn’t determine how good of a shot you are,” I managed to answer. And the last side jumped to the front of the explosion. It reminded me that she’d stepped in during a fight that I could handle myself. She had nothing but her training and a single mission under her belt—a mission that went sideways.
I sat back, putting distance between us, and she immediately paused.
“I had it covered. Stick to your job, your orders, and next time you may not even have to pull the trigger,” I stated flatly, rolling the cigarette between my teeth. It had long since gone out, but the sensation of the tobacco coating my tongue was helpful in grounding me all the same.
The softness fled from her face, tightening at my words. She jerked back, sitting hard on the ground halfway between me and her bedroll. “I’m not afraid of firing my weapon. Is it not my job to be your cover? To watch over you guys?”
“It’s your job to fucking listen to Dom and his orders.”
“You’re never going to trust me, are you?”
“You’re only here because the brass wants to make some political statement.”
“Your shit with me is because I’m a fucking woman isn’t it?”
“Why the hell would you think that?”
She crossed her arms defiantly. “Because when you stormed out of the tent the moment we met, I was told by the team you have trust issues.”
Shaking my head, I glanced over at the entrance. “Well, when you walk in on your fiancée on all fours with some dude’s dick in her ass, I think you’d have trust issues too.” Her eyes widened, the frustration ebbing away as my mistake hit me in the mouth. “But that’s not what the issue is. So, forget I ever said that,” I snarled, standing up.
“She wrote you that letter,” Scottie gasped, rising from the ground too, and took a hesitant step toward me.
“I told you it’s none of your business,” I grumbled, but somehow couldn’t find the strength to move.
She nodded, the tension slowly fading from her forearms, and they dropped to her side. I wasn’t quite sure what to think as my gaze narrowed and I studied her face. Even her jawline was as sharp as her cheekbones, her eyes piercing like a crow and her nose much like a bird. It fit her. Unique and strong.
“So, squats? They’re a lift that doesn’t require arms like bench does?” she offered gently, as my heart rate slowed.
Furrowing my brows, I dipped my chin as she took another hesitant step toward me. “Squats?” I questioned.
A competitive fire blazed in her eyes. Man, if there was a way to turn her irises into a stone, I would’ve spent every penny I had to own just one. “You know, so when I win you’ll tell me how you got your call sign.” She wiggled her brows.
A smile danced at the edge of my lips, threatening to burst through the cloud of tension that finally slipped away. “Scottie, I’ve got a solid seventy pounds on you at least, I think that’s rather unfair. How about arm wrestling? Best out of three,” I offered, matching the shift in the conversation.
She scoffed, her eyes sparkling. “Blondie, I may be a better shot than you, but you’d snap my arm in half.”
“Thumb war? I’m pretty good at that,” I offered, and her brows pulled together.
“A thumb war? What is that?” she asked.
My mouth fell open. I thought everyone knew what a thumb war was. “You don’t know what a thumb war is?”
“No, I don’t know what a fucking thumb war is. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be asking.”
A wicked grin spread across my face. “Shit, give me your hand. I’ll teach you.” I reached out, ready to clasp her fingers in mine.