Chapter 9
MIKEY
The sounds of the desert at night were unfamiliar, yet all the same, comforting. More so than anything back at home. Through slits, I roused from my sleep and scanned my surroundings. The steady hum of sleeping men that I called family surrounded me, filling my body with a sense of fulfillment.
And the insane urge to pee was mixed in there, too. Better yet, I actually had access to a latrine right now and not just some random tumbleweed or a literal zip and go.
Sitting up silently, I slid out from the blanket and froze. Bernie’s green eyes were staring at me. “Where are you going?” he whispered.
“To take a piss. Why?” I questioned in response, remaining still.
“Crow’s gone.”
Glancing over at the bedroll where she was supposed to be asleep, I found it empty. Returning my attention to Bernie, I nodded and rose to my feet. “She’s probably peeing, too, but I’ll make sure she’s not gone and done something stupid.”
Bernie nodded once and then closed his eyes. Creeping out of the tent, the chill of the desert at night sent a shiver down my spine. Padding across cracked dirt normally crowded with other soldiers, a few assigned to patrol duty passed on their rounds, and while a few muted conversations lifted into the air, it was such a strange change from the usual daytime chatter.
Rounding a corner of tents, the sound of a voice I recognized slithered into my ears.
“Oh, come on, Squib, what’s the fucking harm?”
Reyes.
“It’ll be just like old times, you know, like back at sniper school?” he said. I slunk around a tent, remaining in the shadows as four outlines met my eyes. Three men standing around a single female—Scottie.
“Like back at sniper school? You mean where you all thought it was hilarious to cut up my clothes? My uniform? Or steal my shit?” she immediately snapped back.
The one standing across from her leaned his head back and chuckled. I assumed it was Reyes. “It was all in good fun. You know that,” he replied. Yep, Reyes. That son of a bitch wouldn’t leave her alone.
“Good fun? Why the hell are you here anyway?”
“Come back to my tent, Squib. I’ll show you what a real man can do. I can’t believe it’s taken us this long to get to this point,” Reyes said and stepped forward.
Frustration rushed through my bones. Why, I wasn’t sure, since it wasn’t like she was anything more than another teammate, but still. The overwhelming urge to step in and make sure she was fine propelled me forward from my spot against another tent.
“Where is he?” I called out, and walked right between the two guys standing behind Scottie.
Reyes raised a brow, clearly not dressed for taking an overnight shift. “Where’s who?” He crossed his arms, attempting to bolster his status, but it did nothing except annoy me further. I had to piss and here they were, delaying that.
“This ‘real’ fucking man? ’Cause all I see here are three pussies and Scottie. So, again, where’s this real man?” I snarled, narrowing my gaze at Reyes. Through my peripherals, I caught sight of Scottie’s intense glare. Shit, bad move on my part, clearly.
Reyes glanced at his two buddies and inhaled deeply. “How pathetic. Can’t even take care of yourself now, eh, Squib?” He nodded at his two companions and they disappeared within a matter of seconds.
As I shook my head, happy they were gone, a fist slammed into my arm, sending a reverberation down my bones. “What in the actual hell was that? I was fine!” Scottie snapped, placing both hands against my chest and shoving hard.
She was strong, but I was planted firmly on the ground, and it didn’t even cause my body to sway. Her mouth snapped open as she realized how little of an effect it had on me.
“I was just passing through,” I casually answered, my belly swirling warm with the sight of her right here in front of me.
“Passing through? I can handle my own fucking conversations, thank you very much!” she hissed, stepping closer to me.
“Clearly.” I stared down at her, unperturbed.
“Oh, fuck you!”
“You’re fucking welcome,” I growled and closed the distance between us, nearly flush with her figure so I was towering over her.
Fire roared from her gaze. “Excuse me?”
“I said, ‘you’re fucking welcome,’” I repeated, and her brows lowered over her eyes.
“You misogynistic shithead,” she snarled, anger turning her cheeks red.
Shadows darkened on her face as my brows creased. “What the hell does that have to do with anything that I just said?”
She shook her head. “I don’t need you to rescue me.”
“I wasn’t rescuing you?” Confusion tingled beneath my skin. Three against one wasn’t exactly a fair fight, especially when throwing a punch or two wasn’t allowed.
She crossed her arms, the anger in her twisting her features taut. “You think joking about shit like this is funny? You’ll never get what it’s like going from one man’s world into another. You stepping in makes me, as a woman, look weak. Like I need a man to protect me.”
“I’m not joking—”
“I was the top of my class, Blondie.” Her lip curled with a snarl. “I graduated as the best sniper, and they still treated me like I was beneath them all because I am a woman. I don’t need that from you or anyone else on the team, either,” she explained, clenching her fists tightly.
“Wait, you think that’s how I see you? You think that you being a woman is why I stepped in like I did?” I asked, taking a deep breath to clear my head.
She nodded, blinking as if it was obvious. “Is that not all you see me as? Some woman who’s on your team because I’m a woman? For some fucking political statement, am I right?”
“I see you as some sniper who thinks they deserve a spot on our team despite not a single combat tour served, not a single mission completed, and nothing more than training under their belt.” As I ran my tongue across my lips, she let out a sharp hiss.
“That’s your issue with me? Even though I proved to you that I am effective?”
“What I know is that you need to fucking stay in your lane and let me do my fucking job.” Now it was my turn for anger to course through my veins. She was here as a temporary teammate to have our backs, not take over our jobs, especially when I was good at what I do. Especially when this was something that I was needed for.
“That goes both ways, Blondie. Stay in your fucking lane when it comes to Reyes and his asshole friends. I can handle my own shit.”
“You’re acting like this doesn’t affect the whole team!”
“It doesn’t!” she screeched.
“How does it not?” I threw my hands in the air and stepped close enough that her chest bumped against me.
“So, you’d have stepped in and done the same thing if some guy was taunting, say, Duncan?” she asked, glaring up at me.
“Yeah,” I replied, and she shook her head.
“Lie.”
“No one would be taunting Duncan, so that’s not the same fucking thing.”
“Exactly!” She uncrossed her arms and jabbed her finger into the middle of my chest. “They wouldn’t pull that shit with anyone else on the team, and it has nothing to do with your ranks, so don’t use that as an excuse because I’ve heard all that before. They do this because I’m a woman—”
“They do it because they’re fucking jealous, Scottie,” I whisper-yelled. I wrapped a hand around her finger, stopping the poke that might still leave a small bruise, and her eyes widened. Shock shoved out all of the anger that had tightened her features as if she’d never even considered that.
“What?” she quietly asked. The moment I released her hand, goosebumps erupted on her skin.
“It’s not an excuse for them to be assholes and dicks toward you, but have you never thought that might be why Reyes acts like he does? You beat him out. You ended up assigned to our team while he got sent to the support side of things. To intel at base. I saw your file, Scottie. Regardless of how I may feel about your lack of actual combat missions, your scores are impressive, for any sniper. Honestly, I hadn’t seen numbers like yours since Griffin left the team,” I explained, and the anger that felt hot and stiff dripped off her shoulders coolly.
“You still shouldn’t have stepped in like you did,” she muttered, a little less hotheaded.
“I protect my team, Scottie. That’s my job and right now you’re a part of that team.” Inappropriate timing, I knew that, but the way her name felt rolling off of my tongue…
The fire in her amber eyes cooled, and her chest expanded with a massive inhale of calming oxygen. “Against the enemy, yeah. But Reyes and his buddies are on our side.”
Shaking my head, I ran a hand over my chin, feeling stubble prickling beneath my palm. “Maybe outside of these walls he is,” I quietly answered and looked over her dark hair. The sky was quiet, the entire night holding its breath as if however this conversation ended would determine the fate of our entire team.
She didn’t respond and didn’t move either. Her chest rose and fell against my torso, warm and rhythmical. The only thing missing was my arms around her. Okay, so yeah, maybe the initial reason I stepped in was simply because she was my teammate, but in hindsight, with her this close, feeling something else spark low in my stomach, maybe there was something else fueling the unusually protective motivation behind my actions.
I probably wouldn’t have stepped in exactly like that if it had been one of my other teammates. Yes, I would’ve stepped in, but mulling over the events that happened, if it had been anyone else, anywhere else, I would’ve probably lived up to my call sign.
“So, to clarify,” I broke the silence between us and glanced down at her. She didn’t look up, not yet, but she hadn’t backed away. “Jokes like that are only funny when they’re about Bernie, right?”
A smile twitched at her lips. “And you.”
I grinned. “Ah, so sex jokes about me and Bernie are free game?”
“Absolutely.” She pushed some hair behind her ear and closed her eyes.
All anger, all the tension that had set her on edge whisked away with the desert breeze. Her rage was justified. She’d explained it a bit, and while I personally would never understand why it was such a big deal, if it was to her, then alright. I would do my damnedest to respect that. I would make sure I didn’t overstep a boundary she set. No matter how much I wanted to make sure that I protected her.
As I studied her, the features that were once pulled taut on her face loosened. Gentleness coated her typically fiery figure. A figure that, despite my better judgment, drew my eyes. I fought as hard as I could to not freely let my gaze roam down her body, this was not the time.
Hell, it would never be the time. She was a teammate and sniper—and I hated to admit, a decent one at that.
“What are you doing out here anyway?” she asked, slicing through my thoughts.
“Gotta piss,” I answered casually. “What are you doing out here?”
She opened her eyes and lifted her chin; her gaze met mine. “Needed to pee.” Her fingers scratched at the base of her neck, and the end of her braid slipped free of a pin she must have accidentally knocked loose. Her hair unraveled down her back.
Red flamed in her cheeks as she snatched the end of the braid, ready to coil it back up, but I couldn’t stop myself. My fingers wrapped around her hand, latching onto the tip of her hair and stopping her.
Tension filled her frame, her hand twitching beneath my palm, but she didn’t move. I shouldn’t have done it. I should have let her fingers immediately go. But the smooth strands of her tresses and the warmth from her skin drew me in. I stared at her touch. So small. My entire palm swallowed her hand whole, hiding it away in a world where there was no pain.
But it was the shift from feeling so trapped and alone to sharing some of that burden with someone else that surprised me the most. And how a simple touch could create such an intense change in the world as I knew it, was lost on me.
Scottie inhaled slowly, her brows inching together. I loosened my hold around her hand ever so slightly, and suddenly, her slender fingers slipped between mine.
I dared not move for fear of bursting whatever glass bubble we were in. Loneliness had been such a constant companion that it wasn’t until the first shimmer of sharing a secret with someone else had I even noticed its departure.
Here. Now. Her hand intertwined with mine. Sleek strands of hair caught between my palm and hers radiated a comfort that suddenly became all-consuming.
“Mikey,” she whispered, her eyes dropping to the braid clutched between our hands by her side.
Long past understanding, the simple sound of my name from her lips sent toe-curling warmth through my entire frame.
“I should go,” I managed to utter back. But she made no move to pull her fingers from mine. And I certainly made no effort to slip away. Everything in me commanded me to hold still, to soak in whatever was happening. Before this night was over and we were thrown back to the wolves, we could relish in the simplicity of an unexpected touch.
Then, ever so slowly, she gripped my fingers tighter, and a shaky exhale left her lips as she moved only her palm half an inch from mine.
The braid slipped from between our hands, leaving nothing but her skin against mine as I reconnected my calloused palm to hers. The sounds of the night floated away. If anyone else walked by at this moment, so be it. The only thing that registered in my head was her touch. Powerful.
Why the hell her simply holding my hand created such a visceral response in my body was a mystery, but I knew the goosebumps dancing across my skin, the trembling breaths drawn by my lungs were not a result of the cool, desert night. All of it was because of her.
Slowly, as if time no longer existed, my gaze shifted from our grasp to meet her eyes. But she did not look up from the touch. Confusion mixed with utter relief and blatant peace crossed in waves upon her face. One after the other, like the ocean crashing into the beach.
A smile twitched at the edge of my lips. This was wrong to be crossing into territory I didn’t understand, but damn, there was no denying her raw beauty. Silver moonlight danced across sharp features. She most certainly did not need my rescue; she never had. But to hell if I wouldn’t provide it.
Not only was she my teammate—
Shit. Teammate. That singular thought sliced through the undeniable gentle caress of the moment, and I tore my fingers from hers.
Her almond eyes widened, shooting away from her hand that remained frozen as if I was still holding it, and met mine.
“I should go,” I bluntly stated again, inhaling and exhaling as rapidly as my heart was pounding, and I took off across the compound, leaving her without another word.
What in the actual fuck was that?