Chapter 20
MIKEY
Iwas right. The moment that she saw the demon I was, she tucked tail and left. Having her as a friend was something I had been willing to settle for, because that was better than not having her at all. But now, I’d lost her completely.
“So,” she asked, picking at her bootlaces. She sat at the far side of this cave, which wasn’t really that far away, but felt like an impassable amount. “Why’d you join the military?”
I simply looked at her. If she wanted to keep me at arm”s length, then she could stay there. Which meant asking for personal shit like that was not in her purview right now.
“Why not?” I replied, casually.
Pain swam across her gaze. Immediately, I regretted my snippy answer, but there was nothing to do about it now.
“Mikey…” Her voice cracked.
“Why’d you join?” I countered, looking away from her at the back wall.
I heard her sharply inhale and then silence. The wind whistled outside of this small shelter, and through the slit we’d squeezed under, nothing but red sand whirled, blacking out anything from view.
“I went to college first. Like the good girl I thought my foster parents wanted,” she began, her gentle voice breaking. “They didn’t even show up when I graduated with my mechanical engineering degree. No phone call or nothing.” Slowly, my eyes drifted from the wall to Scottie. She pulled her knees up to chest as I remained silent.
“Anyway, I remembered how proud they were when my two oldest foster brothers joined the Marine Corps—their only biological kids. They kept boasting about them to everyone in town. When the two of them graduated boot camp, the entire time they were home before their first deployment was non-stop partying. I’d always looked up to them; I mean, they’re the ones that first taught me how to shoot when I was seven. So, I thought well, it wasn’t like I enjoyed college that much, so why the hell not.” Her bottom lip trembled, barely visible in the dim light of the glow stick by my side.
“I went with the Army to be a little different, you know? Well, boot camp came and went, and nothing. I was tapped out by another soldier. I called them, two days later, and they couldn’t stop talking about how my oldest foster brother just made colonel. My drill sergeant talked about how my marksmanship was off the charts, so I thought, hell, if I could do something like be the first woman to graduate from sniper school, they couldn’t gloss that over right?” She chuckled to herself.
“Boy how wrong I was. I haven’t heard from them since that phone call two days after boot camp.” Her breath hitched, and I wasn’t sure if I should say something or not. “Anyway, I don’t regret it, because I’m good at it and rather enjoy it. But yeah, that’s why.”
“Do you hear from your foster brothers?” I hesitantly asked.
She shook her head. “Not really. The second oldest was KIA during his second tour, and after that, the oldest just kinda disappeared. I don’t think he told his parents that he made colonel; I honestly believe that they just kept tabs on him.”
“Why do you call them foster parents and foster brothers? Weren’t you raised by them?” I wasn’t even sure if that was appropriate to ask, but she was being open with me—a rare change. A twinge of guilt vibrated in my heart. I’d closed her out, harshly, and here she was being vulnerable with me.
“They never adopted me. The two oldest were, like I said, their biological kids, the rest of us were all fostered by them. They never adopted any of us,” she explained, her voice trailing off.
All she wanted was to make the people who were supposed to love her proud. Which was something I could relate to, though I’d failed miserably.
“Anyway,” she rapidly said and inhaled sharply. “That’s why.”
“I was quickly headed down a path that would’ve landed me in prison or six feet under,” I bluntly stated, knowing that if I waited, the courage gained from listening to her story would’ve quickly fled.
“Huh?” she asked, her brows knitting together.
“That’s why I joined, or was kinda given an ultimatum, really. Got caught fighting at seventeen with this shitty old man who liked to beat on his wife and kids. Wasn’t my first time. The officer recognized me from some of my MMA fights I had under my belt, only then finding out I wasn’t actually a legal adult. I looked older, so no one ever questioned the fake age my trainer put down. So, he told me he wouldn’t book me into juvie if I agreed to let him drive me to the recruiter’s office.” My throat tightened. There was another reason for her to run. But hell, I’d already fucked things up, so it didn’t matter anymore.
“You already had professional fighting training and you weren’t even legally an adult?” she asked, leaning forward, and the back of her hand swept across her cheek.
“I told you I’d been fighting for a long time.” Little did she know…
“What did your parents think when you inevitably had to tell them you were shipping off to boot camp?”
“Before or after they rolled over in their grave?” I tipped my head, raising a brow.
“Oh, right. You mentioned both your parents are dead.” Her knees slid away from her body and she cracked her neck.
“You’re not gonna ask how or when or anything like that?” I pressed, surprised. Everyone always did.
She shook her head. “Not unless you want to tell me.”
“Dad was a drunk and a mean one at that. Mom was addicted to drugs. I came home from getting into shit I shouldn’t have at fifteen.” I paused. “Or maybe I wasn’t quite fifteen yet? Anyway, I was close to fifteen and came home late. Mom was passed out on one end of the couch, high on some shit, and Dad was about three bottles into the hard stuff on the other end. I tried to take the alcohol away from him and he shot my mom. I didn’t even realize he had a gun.”
An audible gasp slipped from her lips and then she slammed a hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry,” she squeaked. “Please, continue.”
“He turned the gun on me, but in his drunken state, I thought I’d be able to at least get it away from him. Somehow, in the tussle, the gun faced him instead of me.” Exhaling slowly, I clamped my teeth together. There was no need for the story to continue. She could deduce the rest of what happened. I wasn’t even sure why I’d explained things that far.
“I’m sorry, Mikey,” she whispered, her voice so distant from where I was sitting despite being so close.
No one had ever told me they were sorry.
It was always, where’d you go after that? Or were you the one to pull the trigger? But all she said was sorry. I stared at her, uncertainty swelling within my heart.
She leaned forward, bracing on all fours and crawled across the cavern, closing the distance between us. My brows knitted together, so tightly a small headache pounded at my temples.
“What are you doing?” I quietly asked.
Warmth from her body filled the cool air around us. She paused near my feet and undid her vest and helmet, plopping the plate, weapons, and cover to the ground. My heart raced in my chest as she leaned forward again and carefully crawled over to me.
Straddling my legs, careful to avoid brushing against my wound, her fingers found the bottom of my vest. I didn’t make a move to stop her as she removed my own plate. The only sounds between us were our steady breaths and the pitter of sand against rock outside these walls.
With a clatter, the vest settled against the ground, and then she leaned forward, unclipping the buckle of my helmet. Her fingertips brushed against my skin, goosebumps shot across my body. Dropping it to the side, she didn’t hesitate, and pressed her head to my chest. Her arms encircled my waist, pulling me tightly into her embrace. Raising my arms from the ground, they hovered near her. Every beat of her heart thumped against my stomach. Her warm breath washed against any exposed skin, seeping through my shirt.
My jaw trembled. “My grandma got custody of me. My dad’s mom and the only living family I had left,” I said. The words just tumbled out of my mouth, uncontrollably. And I closed my eyes, finally wrapping my arms around her. Fisting the back of her shirt, I clutched at the one person in the world who simply said she was sorry that it happened to me.
She squeezed me tighter but didn’t speak.
“I’d been at her place for an hour, that was it, and she started yelling at me that it was…” Saliva hitched in my throat. “That it was my…my fault her only child was dead.” Resting my chin against the top of her head, I inhaled her scent of sweat and sand. There was even a hint of vanilla leftover from whatever soap she used.
“I left and haven’t seen her since. And she’s never come looking,” I finished. Trembling, my hand raised to the nape of Scottie’s neck as she settled in even closer against my body. Hair prickled against my skin, her ever-present bun waited at my fingertips where I itched to release her tresses from their cage.
I should have asked. I should have done something else, but it was as if they worked on their own accord. Pin by pin, I tugged the clips holding her bun tight from her hair. It unraveled as it once had down her back. She didn’t even flinch, not a muscle in her moved to stop me as I tugged her hair tie loose.
Like a waterfall crashing down the side of a mountain, her hair cascaded free. Closing my eyes, my cheek pressed against her forehead. Comfort filled my aching soul as my fingers gently combed through her hair, over and over again. Smooth as silk, the all-consuming loneliness seemed just a little less overwhelming.
“Mikey?” her voice sounded distant, almost tired.
“Hmmmm?” I hummed against her head.
“I’m glad it was you with me today,” she mumbled against my chest. Her fingers twisted tighter into my back and she tried to scooch even closer.
“You should have gotten out when I told you to,” I teased. Her strands of hair continued to slither through my fingers.
“Yeah, but then who would’ve saved your ass?”
“I wouldn’t have needed to save yours.”
She inhaled deeply, her body slumping against me. “I’m pretty sleepy.”
A smile twitched at my lips. She must have felt safe in my arms, just like this. She had to, because for the first time since meeting her, something about the way she spoke sounded softer.
“Then get some rest, I’ve got you,” I whispered.
“You do, don’t you?” she lazily muttered. Her head bobbed and the rhythmical lull of her chest slowed.
Sleep didn’t sound too bad right now. There was no way anyone would find us at this moment anyway. There was some peace in all of the anger. Comfort in seeing her so violent and then utterly vulnerable.
I was tired. Not just physically, and her cuddled up against my chest, regardless of whatever reason she had that sent her over to me, it felt rather…gentle. No one ever saw me as gentle.
Yet, here I was, holding her as she slept.
She’d voluntarily come over to me. After seeing all the shit that I could do, despite witnessing how uncontrollable my rage was at times, she’d sought me out.
Her boundary she set. Maybe it had less to do with me and what happened earlier and more to do with something else. Something that I didn’t see, or maybe subconsciously refused to see. Either way, that complicated reason could be figured out later. Right now, allowing myself to slip blissfully away into dreamworld sounded alright.
How incredibly lucky I was, for however brief of a moment, I got to hold Scottie Aleck in my arms.