14. Chapter 14
Chapter 14
BERNIE
I slid Muffin down from my shoulders and clipped a leash onto her little vest as Kat’s mom hollered for everyone to get dinner. Just before I set Muffin on the ground, a small hand clamped down around my forearm.
“We need to talk,” Kat hissed.
I glanced at her, rising from my squatted position with a cocked brow. “About what?”
“Just come on, before someone sees.” She tugged at my arm, her eyes darting around like a frantic pinball in a machine.
Curious as to what was happening, I tucked Muffin against my waist, rested the airsoft rifle against a log, and followed after Kat. She darted around trees, weaving beneath the canopy until the sounds of the campsite had all but faded. I wasn’t about to complain, considering she was taking us somewhere where we would be alone, somewhere that I was going to take my sweet time drinking in every ounce of her beautiful self.
And most likely get chewed out for something I had no idea I’d done wrong, but I was fine with that.
She was the fire I thrived in.
Kat released her hand and crossed her arms in front of her very well-endowed chest, turning to face me. I sat Muffin down beside me, tying the end of her leash to a loop on my pants, and looked back at Kat. My gaze slid down her beautiful curves, resting at her breasts, and there was no stopping the rising static in my stomach.
The buttons on her shirt strained against the pressure, barely staying together, and as her lips moved, I hated to admit that I was most certainly not listening to a thing she said. Every ounce of my focus remained on her, tracing every curve, every roll that I wanted to bury myself into. Working into my memory the way her jeans sat around her waist, the dip below her stomach, the perfect amount of pudge at her hips just waiting for me to grab onto; all of it drowned out my ability to process what she was saying.
And a sharp sting slapped across my bicep.
“Are you even paying attention to me?” Kat snapped.
I glanced away from her incredible goddess of a body to take note of the red mark forming on my skin from her hand. “First off, ow.” I rubbed a palm over the slap. “Second, probably not what you were wanting me to pay attention to, that’s for sure,” I muttered.
“You’re an ass! Like every other man on this planet, all you want is to get in a woman’s pants.”
I shrugged. “Or a guy’s.”
“Oh you—” She stopped talking, and her mouth fell open. “Wait, what? ”
As I stepped toward her, she backed up, bumping against a tree. “I’m just saying, if I find someone beautiful, I’m down.”
“The recruiter’s son,” she gasped in recognition, slapping a hand over her mouth.
“Yeah. And a few others.” I smiled at her as she tipped her head back, gazing up at me.
The anger slid away from her face. “But you’re like ‘a man, man.’”
I pulled my brows together. “And?”
“You know what, never mind. Quit distracting me. But this just makes my point even more important,” she said, her voice turning cold once more as she narrowed her eyes.
I bit back a smile, a rush of excitement filling my frame at the sight of her trying so hard to be all tough. “You look really cute like that.”
“Oh, will you just stop being a shithead and listen to me.” She pulled her lips into a thin line, and I threw my hands in the air in submission.
“At least you got that hint. Anyway, my bad. Go on.”
She rolled her eyes. “You can’t let my dad find out you’re in the military. Like at all.”
I groaned and let my hands fall back to my sides. “Again, about your dad and the military.”
“Seriously, Bernie. I don’t know how to make you actually listen to me, but the moment he finds out, you’ll never be allowed within ten miles of me.” She paused, a crease forming between her brows. “Wait, again?”
“Yeah, again. My mom mentioned something about it, and Emma talked to me about it as well after inviting me up here and also while I was setting up the tents. How does he not already know, though? I was wearing my dog tags while chopping the poor calves’ nuts off.”
“One, he’s got rather poor eyesight, which is why none of us let him drive anymore, but two, he doesn’t really pay attention to little details when we’ve got big days like that, so you got off lucky.”
“Okay, then again, what’s his deal with the military?” I asked, desperately wanting to touch her but restraining out of respect for boundaries that were very unclear to me.
She sighed, her shoulders sagging. “My mom’s first husband was in the Air Force and he up and cheated on her. My oldest brother’s bio dad actually. Anyway, my dad—”
“Okay, I get it,” I interjected and looked above her head.
“Don’t interrupt me, Bottle Cap. That was rude,” she hissed. “So, yeah. You have to leave.”
I glanced back down at her. “Is that what you want?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Why not? I didn’t come here for your dad, Kit Kat.”
“And you have to stop calling me that!” Her eyes widened as her cheeks flamed bright red.
“Why?” I tipped my head, watching as her pupils dilated, the blue of her eyes thinning.
“Because Emma explained what you meant by it,” she whispered.
A smirk lit upon my face. “Ah…”
“No…No this!” She waved a hand in front of my chest. “None of whatever you’re doing that’s making me—” She stopped talking, her chest expanding in sporadic bursts. “I just need you to stop!” She slapped her palm against her chest as the tips of her ears turned pink and her gaze met mine.
“I’m not doing anything…” I said.
And she rocked onto her toes, crashing her lips against mine.
My eyes widened.
Her mouth was smooshed on mine.
Her lips against my lips.
Salt from her long ride coated a kiss that held me shocked.
Disbelief coursed hot through me.
And then she snapped away, bumping the back of her head against the tree.
“I…I…That was…” she stammered, cocooning herself within one arm as she rubbed the back of her skull.
“That was not fucking long enough,” I said, then grabbed her cheeks, and slammed my mouth back against hers.
She squeaked as my body crashed into hers. Warmth enveloped every inch of my skin, goosebumps prickling as she caved into me. Every curve, every absolutely delectable morsel of her bled into me. Her lips moved against mine, the sweetness of something like chocolate and mint coated my mouth. Delicate fingers trembled as she finally grabbed the sides of my shirt, twisting the fabric within her hands.
There it was, the static rushing through my body as intensely as a bomb exploding a mere few feet away. Every sound that once had met my ears was drowned out by the whimper of her kiss. The most erotic sound I’d heard in my life, and everything roared to life between my legs. Her chest expanded, rising with a sudden gasp as she broke the kiss by a mere centimeter, but I wasn’t going to let her go. I wasn’t about to let it stop.
Dropping my hands from her cheeks, I tucked them beneath her thighs, digging them into her skin, and raised her effortlessly from the ground.
“Bernie!” she gasped again. I cracked my eyes open, to meet her widened gaze as she pulled away from me even further, squirming in my hold. “Put me… Put me down, I don’t want you to drop me.”
Tightening my hold on her, I stepped into her body, pinning her against the tree as tightly as I could with my hips. “Why would I drop you?” I whispered against her mouth.
Her hot breath washed onto my lips, the velvet of her kiss brushing over my own as she spoke. “I’m aware I’m not exactly…small.”
“So, this isn’t you saying no to what’s happening?” I questioned, seeking consent first.
She shook her head. Her face pink. Her lips swollen, begging for more.
“Then Kit Kat, any man who’s ever made you feel too big is no fucking man at all,” I stated. “Now shut the fuck up. I’m not done.”
Her eyes nearly bugged out of her head as I captured her mouth with mine again. My head filled with stars as I shoved my tongue between her teeth before she had a chance to stop me. Everything about her begged for my touch. Absolutely everything.
Letting my tongue search her mouth, I couldn’t stop the buck of my hips against hers. A quiet moan escaped her mouth as I pulled my tongue out from between her teeth. Her fingers slid up my sides, sending a shiver down my spine as I dove right back in .
As her touch reached the back of my neck, she bit down on my bottom lip, and I collapsed forward, placing one hand against the trunk above her head, while cradling her ass with my other.
The last time I’d enjoyed something as simple and amazing as this was lost on me.
And there was no way she was going to be able to deny it. Even Kat, the most oblivious hint-taker in the world, would be unable to ignore how excited I was. Reciprocating my movements, she shoved her hips harder against me as I trailed my lips away from her mouth and down her neck.
She gasped for air, tipping her head back as she lifted my hat from my head and slid her fingers through my short hair.
In an instant, the world shifted.
My thoughts rushed from ones of absolutely lustful desire to something gentler and more intimate. Something more vulnerable.
And I paused.
Breathing hard against her neck, I remained tucked against her as her fingers slid back and forth through my hair.
Slowly, her gasps gentled and her hips stilled. Her quickened breath lessened. The lustful heat of the moment swirled into one of vulnerability and tenderness.
Intimacy unlike anything I’d experienced before whisked me away in a cocoon of shelter and safety.
And I buried my face into the crook of her neck as she continued to rake her fingers softly through my hair. What type of life had I lived that I was more deserving of this than Duncan? Where was the fairness in all of that shit? What right had I gained to be here with such an incredible woman?
Why hadn’t it been me?
Dropping the hand from the tree, I dug my fingers tighter into Kat’s thighs, desperately begging for her comfort even though I knew she didn’t understand it. She couldn’t understand it, yet here she was, silently offering me something I hadn’t realized I’d needed.
I felt her chest expand, and with a gentle nudge, she wrapped one arm tighter around my shoulders, tucking me against her. Holding me more firmly into a strange place of security.
“Sorry,” I muttered against her skin.
“For what?” she whispered, not breaking her hold on me. Instead, she squeezed even tighter.
“Ruining it.”
A soft giggle bounced her chest. “Nothing’s ruined.”
Sighing, I slowly pulled my head up from the crook of her neck and met her gaze. Such a gentle soul stared back at me. Eyes of the most beautiful blue studied me. A tender smile lifted on her lips.
“Want to talk about it?” she quietly asked.
I slowly shook my head, unable to form the words. Things still didn’t make sense in my own head; I wasn’t sure how I’d convey to her everything going through my mind. I had no idea how to express to her why she’d suddenly become a place of safety when I wasn’t even sure of it myself.
“Whenever you do, I’m here.” She lazily drooped her palms over my shoulders .
I lifted a hand and brushed some hair from her face, desperate for a subject change, yet not quite ready to break away from her.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” I said.
Her brows creased together. “Done what?”
“Kissed me.”
“Why not?”
“Because.” I slipped my hand around her ear and ran my thumb back and forth over her cheek. “I easily become obsessive, even if something isn’t mine.”
Her brows loosened. “Why can’t I be yours?”
“Wyatt.”
She rolled her eyes. “That’s right. You know about him.”
“So, it’s true.”
Slowly, she slid out of my hold, and I guided her feet to the ground. I stepped back as she sighed. “It’s true. My dad has pretty much set everything up. Which also reminds me that I had told myself I’d chew you out for that stunt concerning the bronc at the rodeo.”
I forced a smile on my face. “You found out about that?”
“Of course I did, Bottle Cap. And I’ll have you know, I can protect myself.”
“I know you can, Kit Kat.”
“Then why’d you do it?” She threw her hands on her hips, but the look in her eyes wasn’t one of anger, but of tender understanding.
Leaning forward, I pressed my lips gently against her forehead but said nothing. She stepped into my body and threw her hands around my waist. My soul was tired. There was only so much I had left to offer, and I wasn’t sure how much that was worth anymore. Kat also deserved more than I was. Wrapping my arms around her shoulders, I cradled her tightly against my chest. Letting all uncertainty flutter briefly away.
“I can’t give you anything more than whatever this is,” I muttered, resting my chin against the top of her head. My heart twinged with that statement. Something heavy rested in the bottom of my stomach, as if warning me that maybe it wasn’t as true as I believed it to be.
She tightened her hold on me. Silence ticked like the crickets at night between us. A gentle orange glow from the setting sun rested around us as the warmth of her body mingled with mine.
“I know.”
“No, you should have stability. Something—”
“If I wanted that, don’t you think I’d already have said yes to Wyatt?” she muttered against my torso, twisting her fingers tighter around my shirt.
“I suppose so,” I quietly replied.
She said nothing, did nothing. And as the sun eventually disappeared from the sky, she remained tucked against my body as Muffin quietly curled up by my feet. Even though I knew there’d be questions once we returned to the campsite, I wasn’t ready to let her go.
Because for this short moment, I wasn’t drowning in the hell that I called my mind.