25. Chapter 25
Chapter 25
KAT
I hummed to myself, plopping down on my bed, and crashed against my back. The ceiling fan slowly whirred above me. Each blissful moment shared with Bernie drummed steadily in my head, igniting my body with every remembered touch of his. Sliding my finger slowly up my arm, tracing where his fingers had once danced across caused goosebumps to erupt upon my skin.
As giddy as if I’d just had my first kiss, there was nothing that could explode this bubble of bliss I now floated in.
“Kat,” my mom’s voice seared through the air.
Except maybe that.
Not that I was upset to see her, just annoyed that I wasn’t afforded at least one more second lost in the world of Bernie and his sweat mixing with mine.
Pushing myself upright, I glanced at my bedroom door as the handle spun and my mom entered. “Kat, what took you so long to come home?” She immediately stopped talking and strode across the room. Turning her nose to the air, she sniffed, inching her way closer and closer like a hound dog on a scent.
Leaning across the bed, she narrowed her eyes and inhaled deeply with her face nearly pressed into my neck. “Who was at Emma’s house with you, Kat?” she asked, her voice turning cold as stone.
I clacked my teeth together, remaining silent.
Stomping across my room, she shoved the door closed with a thud. “I won’t ask again, who was at Emma’s house with you?”
Keeping my mouth shut, I inhaled deeply and tracked her as she marched back to my cedar chest and plopped herself down on the sunflower blanket. “Kat, unless you and Emma are…are more than friends, I know someone else was there with you.”
“Excuse me?” My mouth fell open. “I like guys, Mom.”
“Okay. So, who was there? Because you smell like sex.”
My blood ran cold. Shivers danced across my skin. “Wh-What?”
She inhaled deeply, the anger turning her face red slithered away with the blast of oxygen. “You’re an adult and can do what you want. But Wyatt wasn’t at Emma’s. He’s been here working, so why do you smell like sex?” she softly asked.
With a shrug, I wrapped an arm around my body and glanced toward the wall. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I whispered.
Lie. Big, fat lie.
“Kat, sweetheart.” From my peripherals, I watched as she closed her eyes, and a soft smile lit across her face. “You really care for him, don’t you? ”
Furrowing my brows, I dropped the arm from around my body and looked at her. “For who? Wyatt?” I asked.
She slowly shook her head and the weathered lines on her face softened. “No. That Bernie fellow.”
I stared blankly at my mom. “How—How’d you know?”
Her fingers slid across the blanket as her chest expanded. “You’ve told me for years now that you don’t care for Wyatt. Then Bernie shows up and I see you blush. Giggle. You can’t stop staring at him. But more so, it’s the way he looks at you. I figured it out when Emma invited him up to camp with us during the cattle drive. And now, you’re sitting on your bed with the look of a woman who’s wrapped up in a new love. A look I’ve never seen on your face before.”
“You’re not…mad?” I whispered.
She shook her head. “Nope. All I’ve ever wanted for you, all your dad has ever wanted, was for you to be happy and taken care of.”
“Then why Wyatt? Please help me understand.” I crawled forward as my mom opened her arms.
“You get half of his inheritance when you marry. That’s security for you that your dad and I can’t offer or promise. Sweetie, the ranch is in a lot of debt. And I’m ashamed to admit that as a wedding gift, his parents were also going to invest in the ranch. Help us out of some of the loans we’ve had to take the past couple years to keep us afloat.” My mom placed a hand against my shoulder, tucking me into her body as the pieces to the puzzle all snapped together.
“So, this whole time…” I muttered, and her chin rested against the top of my head.
“Your happiness, your freedom to have someone you choose is more important to me than that money. I never meant to let the ranch fall on your shoulders. Your dad and I will figure out—”
“Bernie’s in the military,” I quickly inserted. A confession released that I needed to get off my chest before she fully gave me her blessing. Before I was freed from this bind between two families I’d been unaware of until now. “He’s in the Navy.”
I felt my mom swallow. The only sound in the room was the tick of the clock, drumming steadily onward. Her fingers never faltered as she stroked my hair, but the tension coiling within me weighed as heavy as the burden that still remained knowing I wasn’t out of the chaos yet.
“Okay,” she replied.
Pulling my head back from her, I glanced at her face. Her eyes stared at the wall, unblinking. “Okay? That’s it. Dad is—”
“What happened to me sucks, but that doesn’t mean that Bernie is the same. Let me break the news to your father, all right?”
“After prom, please,” I said. Her brows twitched, and she shot her gaze down to me. “I agreed to go with Wyatt as his date.”
She tipped her head, her brows pinching together. “Why would you do that when you’re sleeping with Bernie? This isn’t like you. Playing someone while—”
I quickly shook my head and grabbed her hands. “I’m not playing Wyatt. There’s some stuff going on I can’t explain just yet. I need you to keep this entire conversation to yourself until after prom. Please. My safety is at stake. ”
“Kat, you need to tell me what’s going on. As your mom, it’s my job to protect you.”
“Bernie’s got this. Trust me,” I replied and squeezed her hands.
She locked her eyes on me and frowned. “Just because he’s in the military doesn’t change the fact that he is rather impulsive. What—”
“He’s a Navy SEAL, and yeah, he may be impulsive, but there’s a side of him that would do anything to protect me.” I closed my eyes, letting the words roll from my tongue like hot coals. The one sure thing about Bernie was his ability to feed off chaos and turn it into something he was in control of. The one sure thing about the man I truly cared for was how comfortable he was in the midst of violence.
Yes, it scared me. But it also reassured me.
No matter what happened, he would take care of things. “He’ll take care of me. He promised,” I whispered.
A soft exhale escaped my mom’s lips. “He is…not what I expected for you.”
“Why’s that?” I opened my eyes, catching sight of the twinkle brightening in my mom’s gaze.
“For one, he has no clue what to do with horses or cattle or anything ranching.”
“He did beat Wyatt at the rodeo,” I replied, and my mom chuckled.
“That he did. I’ll give him that. And he didn’t complain once when you roped him into branding day.”
“Believe it or not, Dad got him involved.”
“No way!” My mom gasped .
I giggled and nodded. And the word vomit tumbled from my lips as if I was gossiping with Emma. Everything I’d experienced with Bernie, how we met, his insistent pursuit of me. I left out some of the more intimate details and vulnerable moments that he’d shared in confidence with me, including what happened in the woods, and as my story concluded, my mom’s smile widened.
“Well.” She slapped her hands against her thighs and stood up. “Let Bernie know we’ll come for this crawfish boil or cookout or whatever it is tomorrow.”
“I love you, Mom. And I’ll figure out some way to help with the ranch still, okay?” Jumping up from the bed, I wrapped my arms around her waist.
She placed a kiss against my head as if I was five years old once more. “You smell like him. Probably wash up before you come to dinner.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I squeezed her tighter.
“You know something,” she began and stepped away, letting her hands linger on my arms. “Your dad hasn’t been sleeping too well these past few nights.”
Pinching my brows together, her hands fell from my skin, and she strode across my room. As she tugged open my door, she glanced over her shoulder. “I think he’ll need something stronger than melatonin tonight. Maybe a sleeping pill. That should knock him out. Just in case any…unusual sounds might just happen tonight.” She winked and disappeared out of my room.
I sucked in my bottom lip .
After this weekend, once I was safe from Wyatt and every dangerous secret was exposed, I was free.
My mom knew. She’d help me tell my dad. Sawyer would confess to my parents, and we could find a way to get Wyatt gone forever. I could be Bernie’s. There was hope. There was no longer a never-ending mountain that neither of us would be able to climb.
I could be his. He could be mine.
The only thing that stood in the way of us now, was simply us.
My shoulders sagged as a burden slammed against my chest. But choosing Bernie left my parents broke. They may lose the ranch because of this, I thought to myself.
It was no longer a choice between my happiness and Wyatt. It was now a choice between my happiness and my parents. A choice between being selfish with Bernie and my family possibly losing everything.
I wished I’d known this before I’d taken the plunge with Bernie. Before I’d merely thought it was a matter of Wyatt or Bernie. But it went deeper than that. Everything did.
But the question that mattered: Would knowing before this moment have changed anything at all?
Deep down, I knew in my heart that even if I had known, I would’ve still chosen Bernie.
Because he saw me.
That was all I’d ever wanted—to be seen.
And he’d seen me when no one else had. Not for what I could offer, but for me. Despite my flaws, despite the things that usually had people looking past me, despite all of that, he’d seen me .
He wanted me.
He desired me.
Someone who clearly had his options and fair share of partners, wanted only me.
To be chosen like that was worth a lifetime of whatever pain may come. To be fought for like that was worth all the anguish that the world may deliver.
I’d fight through it all for him. Even knowing that the monsters I may have to battle were ones in his own head, I’d vanquish them for that chance to be with him. No matter what lay ahead, I’d choose him as he had me.
With adrenaline prickling through my veins, I turned the engine off and removed the key. The old truck door groaned as I swung it open. Pressing my palm to the metal, I shut it with as little noise as possible and crept up Bernie’s driveway. The silver light of the moon illuminated the still pathway. An owl hooted in the distance. Shadows from the swaying trees danced across the cement as I slowly pulled open the gate to the fence surrounding the yard and slipped onto the damp grass.
Tugging the hood on the black sweatshirt I wore higher up my head, I tiptoed around the side of the house and into the back. Searching the windows on the second floor, I stared at the options, counting in my mind.
I’d never done something like this before. Sneaking into a man’s bedroom in the middle of the night was definitely not an adventure I’d imagined myself on, but here I was, quietly walking to the base of a big aspen tree. The branches would spit me out at his window, where I hoped he’d wake to the sound of me tapping and let me in.
The bark scratched at my palms as I hopped to the lowest branch. And heaved with a silent grunt. The leaves from the tree tickled my cheeks as I grasped for the next branch. Kicking my feet up, I managed to wrap my legs around the trunk and scootched up a little higher, as if I was an inchworm in the rain.
“Pretty sure the front door is unlocked.” Bernie’s voice seared through the absolutely still night.
And my fingers slipped.
Oxygen tore from my lungs. My palm grated against the bark as I plummeted from the tree and my back slammed against the grass. Placing a hand against my chest, I coughed. My lungs wheezed, the oxygen coming in through short gasps.
“Hi, Kit Kat,” Bernie said, his face appearing above me. A smirk rose on his lips as he stared down at me.
Rolling my eyes, I pushed my bottom lip out. “What are—What are you doing out here?”
“I could ask you the same thing seeing as I think breaking into a minor’s room this late at night would land you in jail.”
“A minor’s room?” I gasped.
He nodded. “That window you were attempting to climb up to is Raiden’s.” He stood up straight and stretched his back. “Kinda disappointed you weren’t on your way to see me. ”
“I thought it was yours, dumbass,” I muttered. Groaning, I rolled to my side as a soft chuckle left his lips.
“And what if Ford was sleeping in that room with me? What then?”
“I don’t know. You could maybe kick him out,” I sarcastically replied as I glanced up at him.
He grinned even wider. “Fair. Good thing he isn’t though.” He winked and crouched down, offering me a hand. “Maybe leave the sneaking into someone’s bedroom to me then?”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” I placed my palm in his, and he helped me rise to my feet. A shiver of warmth danced down my spine as he gave a gentle tug and pulled me into his body. My cheek pressed against his bare torso, filling my entire figure with comfort and strength. “Again though, what are you doing up this late?”
His chin plopped down on the top of my head. “Couldn’t sleep.”
“Duncan?” I whispered.
His chest expanded slowly, but silence was my answer.
“By the way, my mom knows,” I continued.
His fingers against my back paused. “Knows…what?”
“About us. She literally smelled the sex.”
“Smelled the sex? Baby, did you hear what you just said.” He snorted, his chest vibrating.
“Oh, quit being an ass. You know what I mean.”
His arms tightened around my body. “And?”
“And she’s good with it. Though, before you say anything because I know you will, she knows to keep it to herself until after prom. ”
“So, did you really have to sneak out of your house for this?” Fingers pushed the hood away from my head, and his warm lips pressed against the top of my hair.
“Well, sort of. My dad doesn’t know.”
He chuckled. “Doesn’t count unless both parents don’t know.”
“That’s not fair,” I whined.
He leaned away, both hands cupping my cheeks to turn my gaze up to his. “Totally fair. I’ve done it without waking either and neither of them ever found out.”
“I’m tired. Can we just go to bed?” I grumbled with a pout, quickly attempting to shift the conversation.
He shook his head. “Absolutely not.”
My mouth fell open. “Excuse me?”
A wicked smirk lifted on his lips. “You think we’re just gonna sneak up to my bed, and cuddle, and eventually fall asleep all cute-like?”
I slowly nodded, narrowing my gaze as his eyes darkened. “I mean, that’s why I came?”
“Nah, Kit Kat. You’re about to come because I’m going to fuck you until your legs won’t stop shaking. I played nice earlier since it was your first. This time, tonight, this is for me.”
And he dragged me into the house before I had the ability to protest.