Chapter 42
CASSIE
“Where is she?” I ask Lisette again. Once more, she shakes her head. She doesn’t know. Not for the first time since we parted ways, I wish that Kevin was my manager. He would know where she is, if only because he would know where Martin is. I could call him, I think, but my pride won’t let me.
She should be here already, I tell myself for the umpteenth time.
It was so stupid, her getting a flight today.
It was so stupid of both of us to just go along with everyone else’s demands on our time when tonight is our first time seeing each other in nearly two months.
We’re so stupid for letting that happen.
“Nora,” I say to my assistant, who is steaming my dress. “Could you go call Martin Dowde, please? Or someone in his team. Find out why Pia isn’t here yet. And if you can’t reach him or any of his staff, call Kevin or his secretary, Mindy Lassiter. See if he’s here already.”
“Yes, ma’am,” she says, and she’s gone a few seconds later. I’d expected the dressing room to feel a little less claustrophobic with one less person, but it’s still hot and stifling.
“I’ve heard she can be a bit … unreliable,” Lisette says, and her southern drawl really adds an extra emphasis where I don’t want to hear it. So much so, I nearly throw the perfume bottle in my hand at her.
“Pia’s not unreliable,” I say as levelly as I can.
Lisette is oblivious to how much her comment has ruffled my feathers, as she lights a cigar – another thing I don’t particularly like – and runs a hand through her short brown hair. “But if she doesn’t show, it will be her own undoing.”
“She will be here,” I say firmly enough that I can hopefully start to believe it.
“I’m just saying, it’s already pretty shitty of her to miss the rehearsal, but I have to say if she doesn’t show at all, it’s not the end of the world.” Lisette points her cigar at me. “It could be an excellent opportunity for us, for you.”
And that is the second time in five minutes that I wish Kevin were my manager again.
“What makes you say that?” I press, turning away from my mirror so I can face her directly and not in the reflection.
“Well, if you had to perform ‘What I Want’ on your own and then accept the Grammy for Best Single—”
“Which we don’t know if we’re going to get,” I interject.
“Oh, you’re getting it. Of that I’m certain. And when you do, when you go up on that stage and accept it on your own, it’s the perfect place to announce your solo career.”
I resist the urge to pucker my lips out of annoyance. “I thought we’d agreed that I wasn’t going to make any announcements until the album is finished.”
“We did, but I haven’t changed my opinion that doing so is a missed opportunity. Everybody wants to know what’s happened to Evergreene. There’s still interest surrounding the whole … scandal. Give them what they want when they want it, I say.”
I inhale and exhale before I reply. “And what about what I want?”
Lisette looks at me blankly, like I’ve started speaking a different language.
And no. Absolutely not. I am not doing this.
I open my mouth to tell Lisette exactly what I think about her idea, but there’s a knock on the door.
Even though in my marrow I know that Pia would never knock on any door, least of all my dressing room door, I stand and rush over to it, praying it’s her.
It’s not. It’s Kevin Briggs.
“I heard you wanted to see me,” he says, and for the first time in my life, I discover what sheepish looks like on him.
“You heard correctly.” I move to the side so he can walk in. He stops as soon as he spots Lisette.
“Lisette,” he says. The air between them becomes so charged, it actually makes breathing a bit more difficult.
“Kevin,” she says, standing and adopting a very wide stance.
They don’t shake hands.
“Lisette, would you mind giving us the room,” I say.
Her mouth opens, I believe to object, but she closes it and presses her lips into a thin smile.
“Of course,” she says, gathering her belongings and her lips into a tight pout. “Excuse me.”
She moves past both of us, very deliberately making no eye or physical contact.
“Of all the managers in the world, why did you choose a bitch like that?” Kevin asks once the door is closed behind her. I stand up and step closer so we’re facing each other.
“Because she isn’t you,” I say with my best photoshoot smile.
Kevin’s composure cracks after a second, and his face creases into a smile that I have, admittedly, missed.
“So, what’s going on?”
“Where’s Pia?” I ask.
“Shit, they didn’t tell you?” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “They’re stuck in Atlanta. Their connecting flight got cancelled.”
“What?!”
“Yeah, I’m waiting on another call in”–he shakes out his arm, revealing his watch–“ten minutes. Then I’ll hopefully know their ETA.”
“Oh, God, no,” I say, bringing a hand to my face. “She can’t miss the show.”
“She might.” Kevin winces. “I’m sorry, Cassie.”
“I can’t believe it,” I say, a little dazed as I step back to my chair and collapse in it.
I feel sick at the idea of her not being here tonight.
I feel sick at the idea of people thinking the worst of her, like my own bloody manager does.
I feel sick at the possibility of singing our song and possibly accepting our award without her.
“You need a better way to manage this,” Kevin says, and I recognise that bossy tone. He’s acting like my manager again. “You and Pia. I get that you can’t be public, but you still have to find ways to communicate, to stay … connected.”
I look up at him. “We’re not like you and Martin. We can’t hide in the shadows.”
Kevin grabs the chair Lisette was sitting on and moves it closer before plopping down in it. “Believe me, I wouldn’t if I didn’t have to.”
A wave of confusing, conflicting emotions hit me.
There’s the warmth of solidarity as I realise if Pia and I are in the same situation as Martin and Kevin, then there must be hundreds of thousands of other couples like us all over the world, who just want to live their lives, proudly.
But with that comes a flash of pure anger.
Because we shouldn’t have to hide. Not one of us.
“We’re going to talk,” I tell him. “Pia and me. When she’s back. When tonight’s all over. I just need tonight to be done, and then we can focus on each other again.”
“You know, I could help.” Kevin leans his elbows on his legs.
“I know I have made mistakes in the past, but I always did what I thought was right for the band. And I’d do the same for you, Cassie.
And with me and Martin, you and Pia … we could help each other.
I swear it would make hiding everything so much easier. ”
I can’t deny the points he’s making, even if I don’t know if I like them.
“I … I can’t make that kind of decision right now,” I tell him. All I can think about is Pia and how she’s not here and may miss the show completely.
“And I don’t expect you to. Just think about it.”
“Have you not had any better offers?” My single chuckle is laced in self-deprecation.
“Cassie…” Kevin levels his eyes on me. “I’ve had plenty of offers. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to accept just anything. I know what I want too.”
“And what’s that?”
“To make a difference. To leave my mark on the world. To give people music that will change their lives.”
“Wow, you don’t want much then,” I say with the same scoffing chuckle.
Kevin leans back in his chair. “I thought I was doing that with Evergreene,” he says.
“There was so much energy in the beginning. We thought us Brits were going to come over here and shake up the whole US music industry. We were going to show the world our unique flavour of folk rock. We were going to write love songs that could be heartfelt and edgy and still musically solid.”
“But we didn’t do that?” I ask uncertainly.
“Oh, we absolutely did. You did, Cassie. I mean, yes, Stephan was part of it, in the beginning. But then we got the fame we wanted, and it all went tits-up. You were the only one staying true to the goal. The rest of them just wanted to get high or get laid or both.”
“Not Clarence,” I add.
“No, not Clarence, but by the time he joined, it was already a mess. I suppose bringing him in was my way of trying to go back to our roots, but … it didn’t work.”
Nostalgia floods me as I consider Kevin’s words. “It wasn’t all bad,” I say after a moment.
He smiles at me then. “No, it wasn’t all bad. I learnt a lot. I feel … in a better position to really steer a ship so it can stay on the right path, if you catch my drift.”
“I catch your drift.” I smile with him. “You really want to change the world, huh?”
He nods a few times before responding. “I think so. And by the looks of it, so do you.”
I hold his gaze, but then wipe the smile off my face. “Right now,” I sigh, “I just want Pia to get here.”
“I know,” Kevin says, and his eyes go unusually soft. “I’m pretty sure that’s all she wants, too. And if there’s one thing I know about Pia Lindberg—”
“She always gets what she wants,” I finish for him.