22. Layken
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
LAYKEN
“ I s it official?” Corrigan asks with a drink in her hand lifted and ready to clink with my glass.
I nod, beaming at her proudly. “I officially hit publish this morning and the book is now live!”
Ella claps her hands and then lifts her glass as well. “Yay! Oh, my gosh, this is so exciting! Congratulations, Layken!”
“Thank you so much!”
Scarlett clinks her drink against mine and Corrigan’s and Ella’s while also cheering me on. “Yes girl, congratulations! I’m going to download it right now.”
“Maybe we need a little reading club between the four of us.”
“I’ve already read most of it.” Corrigan smirks. “But that’s bestie privileges. I’m totally in for a group read.”
“Oh, my gosh though,” I say, covering my face. “I don’t know if I want to know where you are in the book or if or when you’re reading it at all.”
“What?” Corrigan says, taken aback. “Girl, why?”
“Because! What if it sucks? I don’t want you to tell me if it sucks. And if I know you’re reading certain parts and you don’t say anything about it, I’ll think you hate it and I don’t want that. Also, I don’t want to disappoint you guys. Ew. I’d be so embarrassed.”
The girls laugh and Scarlett shakes her head. “That is not going to happen. First of all, I read your other books and they are stellar! I’ve told you that before.”
“Right,” Ella says, nodding. “And if this one is all about hockey? Hell yes! I’m in my hockey era twenty-four seven so I am here for this!”
“See?” Corrigan shrugs. “Told you, you would be a hit. How many downloads do you have already today?”
I feel bad for smiling because I’m anything but a braggart. I know I worked my ass off for this book. It’s been a long four months of writing and editing and marketing but seeing my book out there being downloaded by people who don’t know me at all makes me feel all the warm fuzzies. My cheeks redden as I softly say, “Two-thousand, seven hundred and twenty-one.”
“WHAT?” Scarlett shouts in the middle of the Mexican restaurant where we met for lunch. “Are you serious?”
Corrigan and Ella laugh as I nod affirmatively. “Yeah. And that was an hour ago when I last checked.”
“Girl.” Scarlett shakes her head, smiling. “Do you have an affiliate program, because I need to get me some of whatever you’re doing right now!”
I snicker as I grab for a chip and dunk it into the bowl of queso. “This coming from the high-profile vlogger with millions of subscribers.”
She shrugs. “What can I say? I’m resourceful and opportunistic.”
Corrigan gives me a high five and shakes her head, impressed. “I told you. I just had a feeling this one was going to be big. Readers love their hockey guys.”
“You’re right.” I nod. “They definitely do.”
“I’m so fucking proud of you friend.”
“Well don’t be super proud of me yet,” I tell them all. “Release day or release week is one thing. Success comes when the book is still going strong a month or more from now. I could easily be forgotten for the next author’s release.”
“Never going to happen.” Ella smirks. “Not this time.”
My phone dings on the table and I catch a quick glance at the sender of the received text.
“Julie?”
“Who’s Julie?” Ella asks.
“Julie from the hospital?” Corrigan inquires. “You’re old boss?”
“Yeah.” I lift up the phone to read the text.
Julie
Congrats on your new book! I follow you on Bookzon and saw it in my email this morning! How awesome is that?
Me
Wow! Thank you so much! I really appreciate that!
Julie
So, are you a big bad rich author now? Too much of a celebrity to hear me out on an idea?
Me
LOL. Hardly. Maybe one day but that day is not today. What’s up?
Julie
I have a job proposition for you.
Me
Perfect! Would I be working with you?
Julie
Yep!
Me
Oh, my God! I’m so in! Tell me more!
My eyes light up with excitement. “Shit! This is my lucky day!”
“What? Why?” Corrigan’s brows arch with curiosity. “What did she say?”
“She has a job prospect for me.”
“Yes!” Corrigan pumps her fist. “I knew something was going to work out for you! You deserve this!”
“So?” Scarlett says, gesturing with a winding hand. “What’s the job?”
“She didn’t say exactly. Just that I would be working with her again which I’m all for. Julie was the easiest boss and she really believed in me and my abilities.”
My phone dings again in my hand and I read the text immediately.
Julie
I got hired as the Chief Development Officer at Bayside Children’s! Which means you would basically have the same job you had as the Development Coordinator They said I could bring whoever I wanted for the job and you’re obviously my first choice!
“Bayside Children’s,” I murmur with a furrowed brow. I glance up at Corrigan. “Is there a Bayside Children’s in California?”
We watch and wait as Corrigan plugs the name into her phone and does a quick internet search. Then with a shake of her head she turns her phone around so I can see.
“Looks like Bayside Children’s is in Miami.”
“Florida?” I ask, my eyes bulging. “Miami, Florida?”
Corrigan nods, apprehensive. “Yeah.”
“Fuck.” I sit back against the booth, a million thoughts running through my mind.
Florida is on the other side of the country.
Griffin.
What will he say?
What will he think?
I need the job.
It would be a great opportunity for me.
But I love him.
Could we make it work?
That’s quite a long distance but I could fly here whenever possible.
Maybe he could stay with me during the off season.
Anything is possible if we work at it.
Would he want to work at it?
What if he doesn’t want that?
Can I blame him?
I’d be heartbroken.
And then there’s Corrigan.
My best friend.
My ride or die.
Leaving here would mean leaving her.
And she’s with Bodhi so I can’t ask her to split her free time between him and me.
Fuck.
“What do I do?” I ask the girls helplessly.
Each of them stares at me blankly and I can’t help but assume they don’t want to have to tell me what I already know.
Going to Miami might very well mean the end for me and Griffin.
“What does your gut tell you to do?” Scarlett asks.
“Yeah.” Ella nods. “What’s your initial reaction?”
“Um, I guess my initial thought is it would be a great opportunity.”
Corrigan lifts her straw to her lips swallowing back a sip of her drink. “Okay, so does Julie want you to go visit and interview?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug. “We haven’t gotten that far into the conversation.”
“My advice if you want it,” Scarlett explains, “is to go do an interview and maybe a tour. Doesn’t mean you have to take the job. Scope it out and see what you think.”
“Good point,” Ella agrees. “At least then you’ll be able to make an informed decision.”
My gaze moves to my best friend who is eerily quiet. “What do you think?”
Her teeth pulling on her bottom lip, she eyes me sullenly. “Girl, I would miss the absolute hell out of you.”
My heart flips in my chest and I nearly burst into tears just thinking about leaving my best friend. “I would miss you too, Corri.”
She grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze. “But on the other hand, like you said, this could be a wonderful opportunity for you and for that reason, you have to do what you have to do. I know I can’t keep you all to myself for the rest of my life and you know I’ve always wanted what’s best for you.”
I nod. “Yeah. I know.”
“Okay. So, if you’re not immediately saying you don’t want the job and you’re not interested, then you owe it to yourself to go visit. You need to talk to Julie about the job. Learn all the facts and then you can make a clearer decision.”
“Yeah. You’re right.” I blow out a deep breath. “Okay. That’s what I’ll do if she’s offering that.”
Glancing down at my phone, I type out one last text to Julie and then pocket my phone so I can enjoy my time with my friends.
Me
Definitely interested in learning more. Will write you later tonight when I’m home to work out an interview/visit.
“What do you think Griffin will say?” Ella asks, grabbing a chip from the basket.
My heart sinks even thinking about it.
“I think he’ll tell me to go because he also wants what’s best for me, even if it means his heart breaks on the inside.”
Corrigan chuckles. “Has he said it yet?”
“Said what?”
“You know, those three little words.”
“Oh, uh…yeah.” I can feel the blush on my cheeks thinking back to that night in his kitchen a few weeks ago. “He told me he loved me.”
“Eeeek!” Ella claps her hands. “And you said it back, yes?”
I nod. “Of course, I did. That man is…everything.”
And now suddenly I don’t know if I can bear the thought of flying across the country from him even if we do vow to make it work.
Maybe my leaving would be a good thing for him.
It gives him the out he could use to divorce me if he wants to.
He could move on.
Find someone with the same kind of family upbringing.
Someone who really knows how it feels to be loved.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Scarlett says, watching me. “And you should cut that shit out right now.”
“What?” I shrug.
“You’re thinking that even though Griffin Ollenberg is the love you’ve been waiting for—the love you fucking deserve—that maybe he would be better off without you.”
Fuck.
When did she become so insightful?
“How did you know that?”
She swallows back a heavy sip of her margarita and then lifts her brow. “Because it’s written all over your face.”
“But—”
“No.” She waves her finger back and forth. “Fix your face, Layken. You have zero reason to be thinking that way. Griffin loves the fuck out of you.”
“Quite literally,” I chuckle, causing the girls to giggle at my response. “I mean T-M-I, but the man likes to fuck. A lot.”
“Meh. I think it’s a hockey thing,” Ella says, laughing. “August is all over me all the time.”
“Same with Bodhi, but I think he’s just trying to make up for all those years he spent not having sex.”
“Yeah it’s definitely a thing with all of them, I imagine,” Scarlett says. “It’s their way of letting off steam. And honestly…” She winks. “I can’t say I hate it.”
“Same,” we all say in tandem.
“Miami, Florida?” The expression on Griffin’s face is making me wish I would have just kept my mouth shut and never told him about the job offer. We could be sliding into bed right now ready for another mind-blowing romp in the sheets, but I had to go and ruin the mood with my news. The devastation in his eyes when I told him about this job in Florida is a look I won’t soon forget.
It’s heartbreaking.
I can see he’s trying to remain upbeat but what his voice doesn’t say, his face always does. “That’s uh…” He nods, taking it all in. “That’s pretty far.”
“I know.” My shoulders fall but I try to give him a tiny nugget of positivity. “But it’s also just a plane ride away if it’s something we want to talk about, you know, later.”
He cocks his head, his brows pinched as he hastily pulls off his shirt, all evidence of his bruised ribs gone. “Do you think I won’t want to talk about it?” Irritation stirs in his voice and a strong sense of guilt rips through my chest. Like nothing I’m saying is coming across the way I want it to and I’m just upsetting him.
An emptiness in the pit of my stomach, I shake my head. “No, that’s not what I?—”
“Do you think I don’t care what you do?”
“No, Griffin, I?—”
“Have I given you that indication? Because last time I checked, I told you I loved you and didn’t want to spend my life without you, but here you are a few weeks later ready to jet off to Florida for a job interview whether I like it or not.”
“Okay.” I nod, trying to understand. “So, then I won’t?—”
“If you want to talk about it now, then let’s talk about it now.” He unzips his shorts and kicks them off. “I mean, how do you really see this all going if you get the job, Layken? Do you think you’ll just fly back here on the weekends? Every other month? What? We’ll see each other a few times a year?” He shrugs his shoulders, his arms lifting at his sides. “I mean what kind of marriage is that?”
“Okay!” I raise my voice to match his so he won’t talk over me again. “Then I’ll cancel. I won’t go.”
“But you can’t not go, Lake!” he shouts back, clearly irritated. “This could be a great opportunity and you already told her you would show up and if you don’t show up you risk her bad-mouthing you to other potential organizations.”
“I don’t think she’d ever do that, Griffin.”
“But do you know she wouldn’t or just think she wouldn’t?”
“I…”
“I’m just saying,” he counters, moving to the bathroom door, “sometimes people will love you and talk highly of you and offer you every opportunity until they don’t get their way and then it’s a whole other ballgame.”
“You mean like right now?” I spit back. “Are you telling me that’s how you feel about me?”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Layken. You know that’s not what I’m saying.” He scoffs, shaking his head and then murmurs something about needing a shower before the bathroom door closes behind him and I’m left standing in his bedroom all alone.
Tears prick my eyes as a tingling pressure builds in my chest. Not knowing where to put my focus, my eyes dart around the room as I try to figure out what the hell just happened. I didn’t imagine this conversation unfolding quite the way it did and I have no idea what to do about it.
My vision blurs as tears spill down my cheeks. I swiftly wipe them away and reach for my pajamas so I can crawl into bed before Griffin gets out of the shower. Lifting off my shirt, I reach for my sleep shirt as the bathroom door clicks open and Griffin stalks out making a beeline for me. There’s no time to catch my breath before his hands are holding my face and he’s crashing his lips to mine.
What the?
“I’m sorry, Lake,” he murmurs in between kisses. “I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t mean it.” His lips are on mine again, his tongue against my lips asking for entry and I grant it to him willingly. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m sorry.” His gaze intent, he brings a hand to the side of my throat, clearing away my tears with his thumb. “You should go to the interview. Hear her out. Then we can talk about it. Whatever you want to do, we can figure it out.” He shrugs helplessly. “I’ll ask for a trade or something if I have to. I’ll make it work somehow because I love you.”
“Griffin.”
He squeezes his eyes closed and shakes his head. “I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I shouldn’t have acted like an asshole. I’m not that guy, Lake.”
He nudges his nose against mine and I release a shuddering breath. “I know.”
“Forgive me,” he begs.
“Forgiven.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too, Griff.”
He doesn’t say another word. Instead, he leans down and lifts me up, his hands under my legs curling them around his waist as he kisses me again as if he hasn’t tasted my lips in years. And then he turns and heads back to the bathroom, carrying me with him. The shower still running, steam billows above the glass shower doors. He unhooks my bra and nibbles on my bottom lip and I guess now my plans have changed.
I’m taking a shower before bed.