25. Griffin
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
GRIFFIN
“ A n accident?” I ask, my heart sinking inside my chest. “What do you mean an accident?”
“An automobile accident, this morning,” Coach tells me. “Your parents called the front office because they didn’t know if you were already in the air.”
“Everything okay, Griff?” I hear August say from the stairs. Without thinking I turn and toss him my backpack.
“No. Do me a favor and pass those out. You know what to do.”
His brow furrows and he unzips my bag to see it full of Layken’s books and then he glances back at me and nods. “Consider it done, man.”
“Where is he?” I ask Coach and Marlee who are still standing with us. “Did they take him to Anaheim Medical?”
Marlee shakes her head and I swear to God a piece of me dies inside.
“He made it, though, right? He’s okay? He’s going to be fine, right? Did they tell you that?”
Fuck.
I can’t handle this right now.
I reach out my hand for Layken’s knowing her touch will ground me. She’ll help me think straight. She’ll say all the right things.
But she’s not here.
Trying not to look like a crazed idiot, I stretch my hand and shake out my fingers like I was having a spasm or something and then put my hand in my pocket.
“Griffin.” Marlee glances at her phone. “They life-flighted your brother to Memorial Hospital in L.A.”
L.A.?
It’ll take me too long to get there with all the fucking traffic.
What if he doesn’t make it?
What if I don’t get to see him before…
“Griffin, I have a friend who is going to fly you there,” Coach tells me. “His name is Dan and he’s got time in his schedule this morning to fly you up there.” He turns to gesture to the incoming helicopter landing on the helicopter pad about two to three hundred yards away. “That’s him now.”
“He can get you to one of the smaller local landing strips, and then I’ll have a driver waiting to get you to Memorial Hospital. Don’t worry about a thing. We’re getting you there, okay?”
“Thank you. Truly. I appreciate it very much.” I glance back at Coach Hicks and shake my head. “Coach, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’ll miss?—”
“What have I always said to you guys, Ollenberg?” He reaches out and squeezes my shoulder. “Family first.” He gestures with his head toward the helicopter. “Go do what you have to do. Keep me informed when you can.”
I nod and shake Coach’s hand. “I will. And thank you again.”
And with that I’m sprinting as fast as I fucking can to the helicopter praying my brother is alive and pleading with whatever holy or spiritual being that might be listening to keep him alive. Dan jumps down from inside the helicopter long enough to give me my instructions on where to sit, how to strap in, and what to do. I acknowledge his instructions and then hold up my finger asking him to give me a minute. And then I jog about fifty feet away and vomit the contents of my stomach onto the ground.
I can’t lose my brother.
Gagey. I need you to be strong, bud.
I love you so goddamn much.
Hang in there. Do you hear me?
Please for the love of fucking Christ, hear me.
I’m coming Gage!
Dan is waiting with a few napkins and a bottle of water when I walk back to the helicopter.
“Thanks,” I shout above the noise.
“Sure thing.” He nods to me. “I promise I’ll get you there as fast as I can.”
I twist open the bottled water, take a large swig and swish it around in my mouth and spit it out beside me. Then I take another swig and swallow it down before locking eyes with Dan. “I’m ready. Let’s go.”
“Internal injuries?” My brows arch as Mom and Dad try to answer my questions. I bring my hand to my forehead pushing my hair up as I try to comprehend the entire last hour of this day. “What the fuck happened?”
“He was T-boned,” Dad explains. “He and Mallory were on their way to their weekly social group meet at the YMCA.” Dad shakes his head, his eyes darkened, his face sullen. This morning has clearly taken a toll. He’s not the rosy-cheeked easy-going man I know him to be. “They said it was a drunk driver. Some twenty-year old kid driving ridiculously too fast in town. Blew through a stop sign and rammed right into Gage. The kid’s truck hit on Gage’s side of the car.”
Oh, God.
“Mallory,” I repeat the name, bringing my hands to my hips. “You said Mallory was with him? Is she okay? Is she here too?”
Mom shakes her head. “No. Mallory wasn’t seriously hurt since she was on the passenger side. They took her to County General back at home I think. Her parents were heading there. I half expect to see them here at some point but not until she gets checked out to make sure she’s okay. They said she had some minor scrapes and bruises, but that’s it.”
I glance around the empty waiting room feeling like the walls are closing in on me. My muscles tighten and I fold my body over, clenching my fists and squeezing my eyes closed.
“Fuck!” I shout, fixating on all the worst-case scenarios that float through my mind.
What if he dies?
He had to have been so scared.
And I wasn’t there to protect him.
I wasn’t there with him.
I can’t fix this.
What if he doesn’t wake up?
What if this is the end and I didn’t even get to say goodbye?
“Fucking fuck!” I shout again, but this time, Mom is by my side, wrapping her arms around me.
“Oh, Griffin. He’s going to be okay. We have to believe he’ll be okay.”
“But how do you know, Mom?” I snap at her, my eyes glistening with unshed tears. One look at her tired, worried face and I can’t hold them back. “What if he doesn’t make it, Mom?”
Her own tears match mine as they flow freely down her cheeks. I want to reach out and dry them for her, but my chest fucking hurts and my world is falling in around me.
“We can’t think that way, Griffin.” She shakes her head. “We can’t. All we can do is think positively. You’ve always been the one to tell Gage there’s no room for negative talk and he’s lived by that his whole life. Because you told him that.”
“Yeah, but what if I was lying, Mom?” I finally stand up and pace the floor, my hand on the back of my neck. “What if I’ve lied to him all this time? What if I lied to you?”
“You haven’t, Griffin,” she says, tenderly bringing her hand to my back. “You were right to tell him that. Look at how well he’s done for himself. He’s never lingered on the negative. He focuses on the things he can control and right now that’s all we can do.”
“I have lied to you, Mom.” I turn on her, glancing at Dad next to her. “And you too Dad. I’ve lied to both of you.”
Mom’s brows fold in and she shakes her head in disbelief. “What do you mean, Griffin?”
“Layken, Mom.”
Fuck.
Layken.
I didn’t call her.
She doesn’t know.
I can’t bother her with this now.
There’s nothing she can do.
But God do I wish she was here.
“Where is Layken?” Dad asks, turning his head and glancing around as if she’s going to walk through the door any minute. “Is she driving here?”
“No, she’s not driving here. She’s not coming and I…I didn’t even tell her about Gage. She’s in Miami interviewing for a job. She’s so fucking far away, there’s nothing she can do.”
“Wait. I don’t understand,” Mom says. “Miami?”
“Mom, our marriage…” Fuck. I release a heavy sigh as tremendous guilt washes over me, tears streaming down my face. “I lied to you both and I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Are you trying to tell us you’re not married?” Dad inquires.
Mom adds, “Did you guys have an argument?”
I shake my head. “No. Nothing like that. And we did get married. We did, but…”
I can’t believe I have to say this out loud.
“We were both so fucking drunk we only barely remember doing it.” I lock eyes with my parents, neither of whom seem the least bit fazed. “We didn’t mean to get married.” I hang my head in shame, trying to focus on steady breathing.
Mom takes my hand and sits me down, my parents taking the chairs on both sides of me.
“We know, Griffin,” Mom says softly, squeezing my hand.
My head snaps to her. “What?”
“I said we know. We’ve known for a long time.”
“What?” I scowl. “But…how did?—”
“Layken told me last month when you were home with bruised ribs.” She tries to give me a reassuring smile. “She told me everything.”
“I…” I shake my head. “I don’t…she never told me.”
“Do you want to know why she never told you?”
Does this change everything?
She doesn’t love me?
She told my parents our secret.
And then she left me for Miami.
She really is leaving.
“She’s leaving me…is that what she told you?”
Mom chuckles. “Heaven’s no, Griffin. That girl is head over heels in love with you. Don’t you see that?”
“Anyone could see it, Son,” Dad says, sitting back in his chair. “The way she took care of you. The worry on her face when she knew you were in pain.”
“She apologized for withholding the whole truth, Griffin,” Mom explains. “But I didn’t give two shits about that because the two of you are perfect for each other. We knew it the moment we met Layken. We knew it the moment you both walked out our door to head home when you came to visit.”
“The way you look at her, Griffin,” Dad murmurs next to me. “It’s kind of next level.”
“I love her, Dad,” I cry. “I love her so damn much.”
He rubs my back. “I know you do, Son. We can see that too.”
Calming down as we talk about her, I huff a quiet laugh. “She makes me feel things I’ve never felt before. Excitement. Fear. Passion. Fuck, she makes me want to be better. Do better. For her. She has me thinking about life beyond hockey and it…it doesn’t look that bad.”
Dad laughs, patting my knee. “There was definitely a time when you couldn’t see the sky through the trees. Hockey has been your life since you can probably remember so it’s nice to know you’ve got someone on your side who loves you who can show you what life after hockey can be like.”
“Her old boss from the hospital called her and all but offered her a job with her in Miami if she wants it.” I shrug helplessly. “And I didn’t have it in me to ask her not to go to the interview. What if she falls in love with the job and wants to take it?”
“If you love her, you cross that bridge together. Marriage is about give and take. Sacrifice and compromise.”
A few more tears slip from my eyes. “I’m scared. I love her so goddamn much. I don’t want to lose her. I’d do anything for her, but…I love you guys too. And Gagey. I can’t leave you guys.”
“Pshh.” Mom waves me off. “You can and you will, Griffin. That’s what flying the nest is all about. We moved here to Anaheim when you became a Star because Gage was young and we know how close the two of you are. But you’re both older now with your own adult lives. And even if we’re miles apart we’re just a plane ride away. Or who knows. Maybe we’d move again if it’s what Gage and Mallory want.”
“So, he’s really serious about Mallory then, huh?” I ask with sincere curiosity.
Dad nods. “Oh yes. He’s been telling us he’s going to ask you to help him propose to her.”
“No shit?” The thought makes me smile.
“I’m sure he’ll tell you all about it when he wakes up.”
If he wakes up.
Mom lays her hand on my other knee. “Don’t let go of Layken, Griffin. There is a bright and wonderful future out there for the both of you, I promise you that. Not every day is easy, but when you’re going through life with someone who loves you despite any of your faults or weaknesses, every day is worth it. Even the bad ones.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
We make small talk for the next couple hours while we wait for Gage to be done in surgery. I don’t know how we managed to come up with so much to talk about given the only thoughts going on in each of our heads is Gage’s wellbeing. Dad eventually closes his eyes for a short rest and Mom scrolls through her phone while I take a walk down the hall to make a quick call to Layken. After all the chaos and emotion of the morning, I’m fucking spent, my anxiety is high and all I want is to hear her voice.
But she doesn’t answer.
She must still be in the interview.
Or being wined and dined.
When I get the beep of her voicemail I leave her a message.
“Hey Naughty, it’s me. I uh…look, I know you’re in your interview and I hope you’re having exactly the kind of day you need. I want you to feel like you’re on top of the fucking world, but uh…also…” I clear my throat. “Things aren’t so hot here. Umm…I didn’t get on the plane with the team. Gage was in an accident this morning. They lifted him to Memorial Hospital in L.A. so that’s where I am now. He’s in surgery so hopefully we’ll hear something soon.” Not knowing what I want to say next because all I really want to do is wrap my arms around her and cry, I’m silent for a long pause before I continue. “Sorry, umm…” I clear my throat again, the lump of emotion making it difficult to swallow. “I was just hoping to hear your voice. I love you, Lake. I just want you to know that. Whatever happens between us. Whatever you choose, I love you. Give me a call when you get this. I’m not positive I’ll be going to Chicago so I’ll let you know where I am. Alright. I guess that’s it. I’ll talk to you soon. Bye.”
Sighing deeply, I pocket my phone at the same time I see two doctors head for the waiting room where my parents are seated.
Oh no.
Were they smiling or frowning?
I didn’t pay attention.
Fuck!
Following them, I meet my parents and stand with them while they talk to the doctor.
“Mr. and Mrs. Ollenberg?” he says to my parents.
They both look up from their seats and stand. “Yes,” Dad tells him. “We’re Gage’s parents.”
“Good to meet you.” The doctor nods with a positive smile. “Gage pulled through surgery like a champ. I apologize for the long wait but we wanted to be sure all was well before we gave you any update. We removed Gage’s spleen which was the cause of the internal bleeding, and did some exploring to make sure no other internal organs were harmed. Then we had to fix his arm. His left arm was crushed by the impact so we had to pin and reset it. That part actually took a little longer than taking his spleen. But we’re happy to report that everything else looked great. He’ll be as sore as anyone would after these types of surgeries, but we’re extremely hopeful he’ll make a full recovery.”
“Oh, God!” My mom brings a hand to her heart, tears of relief flooding her eyes. “Thank you doctors.” She reaches out and hugs each of them. Dad and I shake their hands and give our sincere thanks as well.
“When can we see Gage?” I ask.
“He’s in recovery now, so once he’s awake and stable, one of the nurses will be out to update you. May be about an hour or so. They’ll want to monitor his vitals for a bit to make sure he’s okay.”
“Thank you, again,” I tell them sincerely. “For everything.”
I make a mental note to make a sizeable donation to Memorial Hospital if I get my brother out of this place alive and well.
We’re all seated around Gage’s bed a few hours later when he’s in his own room. He opened his eyes when we first walked in but he hasn’t quite beat the effects of the anesthesia yet. We’re okay with that though. Being able to watch him sleep, watch him breathe, brings me a bit of peace. Finally, he opens his eyes and I’m the first person he sees. His mouth spreads into lazy but happy smile when our eyes lock.
“Griffy!” His voice is hoarse, but the way he says my name, like he did all those years when I would visit him in the hospital when he was sick or after a procedure, brings huge fucking tears to my eyes.
“Hey Gagey. You scared me you stupid fuck.”
Gage laughs but winces a little. He always laughs when I swear.
“It hurts to laugh,” he mumbles.
“Yeah, sorry about that big guy. I’ll watch my mouth from now on.” I lean down and kiss his forehead and then connect my forehead to his squeezing my eyes closed. “I’m really glad you’re okay, Gage.”
“Griffin?” His voice is a little stronger the more he talks. I look down into his worried eyes.
“Yeah bud?”
“Where’s Mallory? Is she…” His eyes glisten. “Is she okay?”
Wow.
The concern in his eyes.
He really loves her.
My little brother is in love.
I can see it all over his face.
Mom takes Gage’s hand and nods her head. “Mallory is good, Gagey.” She pats his hand. She’s just fine. She had a few bumps and bruises. The ambulance took her to the hospital by our house so her parents are with her now. I talked to her mom a bit ago and she’s going to come visit you tomorrow, okay?”
Gage relaxes against his pillow with a huge sigh of relief and nods silently.
“How do you feel, Son?” Dad asks Gage from the foot of the bed, his hand on Gage’s leg.
“Tired. And my belly hurts.”
“Yeah,” Dad nods. “It’s going to hurt for a few days, but the doctors said you did a great job. They said you were a champ.”
“And they fixed my arm.” Gage lifts his heavily wrapped arm a tiny bit but Mom is right there to remind him not to move it so it can heal.
He turns his head back to me studying me for a minute, his brows pinching.
I bow my head glancing at myself and then back at him. “What’s wrong?”
“You’re not wearing your jammy pants,” he says. “You’re always wearing jammy pants when I’m in the hospital.”
My shoulders fall as guilt washes over me. I should’ve pulled some out of my bag before I threw my backpack at August.
“You’re right, I’m not. I didn’t know you were going to?—”
“He didn’t, but I did!”
Layken steps inside the room, her chest heaving telling me she must’ve run through the building to get here. The vision of her in my cinnamon roll pajama pants and team hoodie makes my chest swell and my breath catch as she shows herself off to my brother.
Gage’s smile grows tenfold as he beams at the love of my life. “Layken!”
Out of breath, she places a gentle hand on Gage’s leg and says, “I came as soon as I could.”
And then her eyes slide to me and I’m biting the inside of my cheek to not cry my eyes out as I step over to her and lock my arms around her, holding her tighter than I’ve ever held on to anything in my whole damn life.
“Layken…”