Chapter 25 Harper #2
“But,” I continue, slipping into work mode without even meaning to, “as someone who negotiates contracts for a living—even if I’m not your agent—you need to think this through carefully.”
He nods. “I expected that.”
“You’ve got at least one more major contract in you,” I say. “Possibly two if you stay healthy. You’re talking about generational money. Security for Connor. For us. For the rest of your life.”
“I know,” he says again, softer this time.
“And retirement isn’t just stopping,” I add. “It’s losing structure and identity. The thing you’ve done since you were a kid. The thing you’ve done practically you’re whole life. That can mess with people.”
“I know,” he repeats, but his eyes don’t waver. “But you know what messes with me more?”
I wait.
“Waking up every day and realizing my son is growing whether I’m there or not.”
Fuck.
Well, when he puts it like that…
I reach for him without thinking, my fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt.
“You don’t owe Connor your entire career, H,” I say gently. “You didn’t choose to miss those years. That’s on me. And being a good father doesn’t mean sacrificing everything else that makes you you.”
He cups my cheek. “No. But I want to choose him now. On purpose.”
My throat tightens.
“So,” I say, managing a small smile, “my professional opinion is this: don’t rush. Finish your current contract. Start planning financially, emotionally, and mentally. Figure out what comes next before you walk away.”
“And your personal opinion?” he asks.
I press my palms to his strong chest.
“That our son is incredibly lucky,” I whisper. “Because wanting to be there for him matters more to you than how many hockey games you play.”
He exhales, something easing in his shoulders. “I love you, you know that?”
I kiss his cheek and then his lips gently. “Right back at you, H.”
We’re going to be okay, right?
This is all…it’s fine. Everything’s fine.
Because whatever Harrison decides, he’s already retired from being just a hockey player and promoted himself to dad…
Times two.
“He’s thinking about retirement!”
“What?” Ella scowls, sipping her water.
Layken’s jaw falls open. “He said that?”
“Retiring?” Scarlett’s eyebrows shoot up as she joins us at the table. “Who’s retiring?”
In tandem the ladies answer, “Meers.”
“But was he being serious?” Marlee asks as she pushes another bite of her salad into her mouth.
“It seemed like it. And he doesn’t say things he doesn’t mean.”
I needed a minute to get my thoughts out in the open, especially to someone who might understand something as big as retiring from the hockey league. The WAGs were the first group I thought of and when I texted them out of the blue begging to meet they jumped at the chance.
“And I honestly don’t think he’s just saying it to impress me or Connor either,” I add, wrapping my hands around my water glass. “He seems…resolved about it.”
“Well,” Marlee says, poking at her salad with her fork, “it’s not unheard of. Some guys do retire in their mid-thirties. Especially if they’ve had a good career.”
“Or if they have other priorities,” Layken adds, giving me a meaningful look.
I shift uncomfortably in my seat, my hand automatically drifting to my stomach before I catch myself and grab my napkin instead. I haven’t told anyone about the pregnancy yet, not even Harrison.
Especially not Harrison.
Every time I think about telling him, my throat closes up and I remember Connor’s face when he found out about his dad. I can’t do that again. It’s too soon.
“What did you say to him?” Ella asks, leaning forward.
“I told him to think it through. Not to rush.” I pick at my salad, my appetite practically nonexistent despite the constant low-level hunger that’s been my companion for weeks. “I mean, he’s got at least one more big contract in him. Maybe two. He’s only thirty-two. He’s got years left in him.”
“But he missed ten years with Connor,” Ella says softly. “That changes a man’s perspective, I’m sure.”
“I know, and I respect that so much,” I say. “It’s just a lot to process. Hockey has been his entire identity for so long.”
Layken studies my face. “Is there something else going on that would sway him?”
I shrug. “Like what?”
She bobs her head like she’s about to pull ideas out of thin air. “Okay, so please don’t take any offense to this because I don’t mean it that way at all but…” Her gaze slips to my body before her eyes meet mine. “You look…different.”
My heart pounds in my chest.
“Different, how?”
She puts down her fork and stares right into my soul. “Well for starters you’ve got this glow about you.” She nudges Marlee. “Don’t you think, Mar? It’s a glow I’ve seen before.”
Marlee nods, tilting her head as she studies me. “Oh, my God, yes! Why didn’t I catch it before?”
“Catch what?” I ask, my eyes bouncing between them.
“She’s not drinking coffee. She’s been sipping water this whole time…” Marlee rattles off.
Layken winks. “And she was barfing a couple months ago for no reason…”
The water I just sipped goes down the wrong way, and I cough violently. Scarlett pats my back while I try to recover.
“Are you okay?” Marlee asks, concern etched across her face.
“Fine,” I wheeze. “Just—wrong pipe.”
When I finally catch my breath, four pairs of eyes are studying me with varying degrees of suspicion. Scarlett leans forward, reaching across the table to squeeze my hand.
“Alright, I’ll bite. Harper, babe, are you pregnant?”
The question hangs in the air between us, and suddenly I’m fighting back tears. I’ve been holding this in for weeks, carrying this secret alone, terrified of what it means and what Harrison will say.
“Yes,” I whisper, and the admission feels both terrifying and freeing. “About thirteen weeks.”
The table erupts in excited gasps and congratulations, but Ella quickly notices my expression doesn’t match their enthusiasm.
“You haven’t told him yet, have you?” she asks gently.
I shake my head, blinking back tears. “How can I? It hasn’t been that long since Connor found out Harrison is his dad and now Harrison is thinking about retirement. How am I supposed to throw this into the mix?” I lean forward, holding my head in my hands. “I’ve made a mess of this, haven’t I?”
Ella reaches across and squeezes my hand. “You haven’t made a mess of anything. Life is messy all on its own.”
“He deserves to know,” I say, more to myself than to them. “I can’t keep this from him. Not again.”
“Of course he deserves to know,” Marlee says gently. “But timing matters too. There’s no rule that says you have to tell him today.”
I nod, swallowing hard. “I’m just…terrified. What if this is too much? What if he feels trapped? He’s already talking about giving up his career for Connor. Now there’s going to be another baby and—”
“Stop,” Scarlett says firmly. “Harrison Meers is many things, but he is not a man who runs from responsibility. He never has been and never will be. Plus, he’s crazy about you, Harper. Anyone with eyes can see that.”
“Right, and this isn’t the same situation as last time,” Ella reminds me. “You’re not a scared college girl anymore. You and Harrison are together now.”
“I know, but—” My voice catches. “We haven’t even talked about having more kids. What if he’s not ready for this? What if it’s too much too fast?”
Marlee gives me a knowing look. “The man is literally considering retiring from professional hockey to be more present for his son. Does that sound like someone who wouldn’t want another child?”
“And if he’s already thinking about retirement,” Layken adds, “maybe this baby isn’t a complication. Maybe it’s confirmation he’s making the right choice.”
“Another baby that he gets to be there for from the very beginning,” Scarlett points out. “Don’t you think that might be healing for him in a way?”
I hadn’t thought about it like that. The possibility that this pregnancy could be restorative rather than overwhelming hasn’t even crossed my mind.
I’ve been so wrapped up in my fear—fear of his reaction, fear of disrupting our fragile new family balance—that I haven’t considered how this might be a gift for both of us.
A chance to experience parenthood together from the very beginning.
A chance for Connor to have a sibling…to be a big brother.
“I hadn’t considered that,” I admit, wiping at a tear that’s escaped despite my best efforts. “I’ve been so focused on not repeating my mistakes that I didn’t even think about what this could mean for us.”
“So, when are you going to tell him?” Marlee asks.
I take a deep breath. “Soon. I have to. I just need to find the right moment.”
“Don’t wait too long,” Scarlett warns with a wink. “These things have a way of becoming obvious.”