7. Alana
ALANA
It wasn’t a real date.
In theory, I knew that, yet I was standing in front of my bedroom mirror, having tried on the fifth boring outfit.
I couldn’t be seen with Eden fucking King dressed like a grandma.
Come on, Alana, you got this.
It was just a coffee after classes, nothing big. All we wanted to do was discuss how to handle our fake relationship or whatever it was supposed to be.
Was it a fake relationship when he’d try to help me get together with Austin and make me more confident, while all I had to do was hand him a few recipes?
I looked into my mirror, my eyes instantly zooming in on my belly, wishing it was flatter. My thighs seemed bigger in the pair of pants I chose, so I knew I’d run right back to my closet to find a better one in just a moment.
With every passing second that I stood in front of this stupid, wall-length mirror, I noticed more flaws in myself.
My eyes were too big for my head, or perhaps they were too small. My nose was too crooked… or perhaps it was too straight? I wasn’t sure yet, but something was wrong with my nose, for sure. My lips were too thin and my ass too flat for a bigger girl.
Or maybe my lips were too thick and my ass too fat?
I didn’t know, but either way, it was all wrong. I looked wrong.
“Oh, God,” I muttered under my breath as I turned away from the mirror. Taking a deep breath as I reapproached my closet, I went back to searching for something, anything okay-ish looking to wear.
In the end, I settled on a pair of blue jeans, an oversized, grey T-shirt that I made sure covered my belly, and a black zip-up hoodie. That had to cover at least some of my flaws, right?
After classes, I was waiting at Claire’s for Eden’s arrival.
We hadn’t seen each other all day, which I sort of expected. We only had two classes together, neither of which was part of today’s schedule. He had a different friend circle than I. The only person we had in common was Asiya, and I was pretty sure she only liked him because she had to.
At this point, I’d been waiting for two hours, and I was beginning to think he wouldn’t show up when all of a sudden, the door to Claire’s opened, and he came walking inside.
Each step was drowned in confidence as he walked past other college students, not even batting an eye at them, despite the girls fawning over him.
Come on, this was a bit exaggerated, even for Eden King. He wasn’t a superstar. All he had was sort of famous parents, a good-looking face, a trained body, and a pretty smile.
I was expecting a nice greeting, but what I got instead was a questioning look as he sat down on the opposite side of me.
“Something wrong?” I asked, uncertainty in my voice.
“What are you wearing?” His eyes widened as he probably realized how rude that question sounded.
Honestly, I wasn’t even surprised by his question. I’d gotten asked way worse before.
Still, I could immediately feel myself getting more self-conscious. What would the people think if they saw Eden with me?
“I apologize, Ally-Bear. That was a dick thing to ask,” he said. “I didn’t even mean it like that. I was just wondering why you’re so… hidden?”
“Hidden?” I tried to play the awkwardness off with a chuckle.
Hidden described my look pretty well, but it still wasn’t nearly as covering as I had liked.
“Last Friday, you showed so much skin and wore a cute blue dress. Yesterday you wore a long skirt and a tight, sort of cropped, long-sleeved sweater. What happened today?”
First of all, why did he remember my outfits?
My fingers dug into the fabric of my pants, suddenly feeling a lot more uncomfortable in my own skin again.
My heart was racing, my palms sweating.
I cleared my throat, trying to regain confidence in my voice before replying, “I guess I just wanted to uh… be comfortable today.” I shrugged lightly. “It’s not like we’re on a real date or anything anyway. We’re here to discuss our terms for the deal.”
“Right.” He nodded slowly, a smile tugging at his lips.
I took a sip of my already cold coffee, the bitterness seeping into my mouth as I tried to gather myself.
Eden’s gaze fixed on me, his eyes searching for something in mine. I felt like he could see right through me, read my mind, and find out all my insecurities and fears with just one lousy look.
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, wishing I could disappear. But instead of pointing out how awkward I felt, he surprised me by speaking first.
“You know, Alana, you don’t have to hide yourself.” He got up, and for a moment I thought he was going to leave again, that our deal was done before we’d even really discussed it. “I’m getting a coffee. Do you want a new one?”
I shook my head softly, forcing a small smile before he walked away to the counter.
Watching him order his coffee with such ease and charm, laughing with the women behind the counter like he had no care in the world, made me wonder what it would be like to be as effortlessly confident as he was.
I sat there, tugging my sleeves over my hands like I always did, like maybe they could hide everything I hated about myself. The softness of my stomach, the way my thighs touched, the constant overthinking.
I hated it all.
I couldn’t imagine being like him, walking around like I deserved to take up space. Sometimes I felt like if I stopped trying so hard to be invisible, people would finally see all the things I wanted to hide.
By the time his drink was done, mine was empty. When he returned to the table with two fresh drinks in his hands, setting one in front of me before he reclaimed his seat on the opposite side of the table, I was suddenly really grateful that he’d gotten me a new drink anyway.
Eden leaned back comfortably, taking a sip of his own coffee before fixing his gaze on me once more.
I couldn’t help but feel exposed under his scrutiny, analyzing me as if he could see the turmoil inside my head that I tried so hard to conceal.
“So, Ally-Bear,” he began, his voice softer than before. “What’s your condition to teach me how to bake?”
I took a deep breath, feeling a surge of relief that Eden was steering the conversation toward the reason we were here. To discuss the terms of our deal.
As I met his gaze, I could sense a genuine curiosity in his green eyes, quite the opposite of the mischievousness and playfulness that were usually glistening in them.
“Well,” I began, clearing my throat. “Obviously, you would have to genuinely try. None of these half-hearted attempts or making excuses. If I’m going to teach you how to bake, I want you to be fully committed.”
Eden nodded thoughtfully, his lips curling into a small smile. “Sounds fair to me,” he agreed. “But that’s not what you wanted, is it, Alana? Me trying to be good at something I have no other choice but to be good at isn’t a fair deal for you.”
“Well…” I trailed off.
What was I even supposed to say to that? I already felt like I was in over my head.
“We said I was supposed to help you come out of that shell of yours,” he said, and I nodded in agreement.
Right. That shell. The one I’d built so carefully around me, layer by layer, with years of awkwardness, rejection, and feeling like I wasn’t enough. It wasn’t exactly easy to just crack it open because some beautiful, confident guy said I should.
“And I suppose the ultimate goal is to find you a real boyfriend, huh?” he added.
“Not just anyone.”
What have I gotten myself into?
“Of course not. The boyfriend of the century. Austin Bennett.” Eden sounded almost disgusted as he said Austin’s name.
I didn’t know what I hated more—how ironic he sounded… or how much I wished it was jealousy instead.
No one had ever been jealous of anything that included me. No less about me dating some guy.
“That’s going to be the easy part, Ally-Bear. Your confidence, however…”
Easy?
How was Austin asking me out going to be easy? It felt impossible to me. Just talking to him made my heart race in the worst way. I couldn’t even imagine him seeing me like that. Not when I couldn’t even look at myself without picking everything apart.
“I have a couple of ideas, but I want to run them by you first.” He took out his phone.
My eyebrows rose. “You have a list?”
Was he serious right now?
“Of course I have a list. If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do this right.” He winked at me.
I forced a smile, even as my stomach twisted.
He made everything sound so simple, like fixing me was just a checklist away. But I wasn’t just shy. I was terrified. Of attention. Of rejection. Of being seen and not being enough.
“First things first, I stalked your social media a bit last night to see what you’re posting.”
“What?” My voice cracked, and I prayed he couldn’t hear the panic underneath it.
Eden chuckled at my stunned expression, shrugging nonchalantly. “Hey, don’t act surprised. It’s all part of the plan to understand you better and help you get out of your comfort zone.” He tapped on his phone. “You never post pictures of yourself.”
“I don’t like taking pictures of myself,” I admitted.
There. I said it. But it still felt like peeling off a scab. It was too raw, too exposed.
“That’s going to change.” He looked up from his phone, making sure I couldn’t silently disagree with him.
And just like that, I felt pinned under his gaze. Like he could see right through every carefully practiced expression I wore.
“If you want Austin to notice you, you need pictures. More importantly, you’re going to post pictures with me in them. And I’ll post some with you on my socials.”
I laughed. “Not happening.”
Not because I didn’t want to, but because the idea of people seeing me next to him—perfect, golden, untouchable Eden—felt like standing under a spotlight and waiting to be judged. Like everyone would look at the two of us and instantly know I didn’t belong beside him.
That I was the joke in the picture. The before to his after.