22. Alana
ALANA
“Are you coming inside?” Eden asked, not yet even attempting to leave my car.
I thought he was going to rush out the moment the car stopped, then he’d take his bag and be gone. But nope. He was still sitting here, looking at me expectantly.
Was I supposed to go inside? I mean, I only picked him up because he said I had to in order to make our relationship seem more realistic.
“I think I’m good,” I replied, keeping my eyes on the street rather than him.
We’d barely talked the entire way to his place, and frankly, I was glad about it.
How was I ever going to talk to him again after what happened earlier? Normally, I mean.
I so wasn’t ready to be kissed. By Eden King, no less. He must’ve thought I was the world’s worst kisser, but he hadn’t yet said anything.
If I decided to go inside, he definitely would’ve mentioned something, and I wasn’t up to discussing my inexperienced ass tonight.
“Come on, Ally-Bear. We barely talked all weekend.” He reached a hand up to my face, turning my head so I’d look at him. For just a moment, his fingers lingered on my skin, his eyes holding mine so intently that I forgot how to breathe.
It was Saturday evening… The weekend wasn’t even over yet.
“You were gone,” I said. “And you texted me what felt like every other hour.”
He finally pulled his hand away from my body, dropping it onto his leg. “But texting isn’t the same as talking. My jokes don’t hit as good over the phone as they do in person.”
My eyes rolled. “You’re so full of yourself.”
He chuckled softly. “Well, someone’s got to be.”
“Got to be… full of you?” My eyebrows drew together in confusion. Unfortunately, I only realized what he was implying after I said it. “Oh, God.”
One side of his mouth tugged up into a smirk as he nodded at me. “I was trying to say ‘Someone’s got to be full of… jokes.’ Yes, jokes. But hey, if you want to be full of me, that’s cool, too.”
I let out an awkward laugh, feeling my face flush with embarrassment. “I think I’ll pass.”
Somehow, Eden saying something remotely sexual pulled not a single genuinely negative reaction out of me, like Austin’s words had. It was odd, wasn’t it?
God, I still had to tell Eden about it.
Eden leaned back against the car seat, his gaze softening as he looked at me. “You’re missing out, just saying. Anyway, are we really going to sit out here all night?”
Glancing at his apartment building behind him, I hesitated.
Nobody was around us anymore. Eden and I didn’t have to hang out, and we never did before. The only times I was at his place or he was at mine was because I was teaching him how to bake.
Our relationship didn’t go beyond baking lessons and play-pretend for others in public. And, alright, sometimes he’d come over to my place and put some outfits together, but that was it.
But as I sat there, staring at him with his messy, blond hair and those hopeful green eyes, a part of me refused to even entertain the idea of kicking him out and driving off.
Part of me wanted to see what it would be like if we were real—real friends, real partners, real… something. Even if it was just for an evening. For a stupid talk in his apartment while neither of us was covered in flour and icing.
With a sigh, I finally unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the car door. “Fine. I’ll come in for a bit,” I said, looking at Eden with a hint of uncertainty.
He flashed me a bright smile and hopped out of the car, grabbing his bag before walking toward his building.
I followed close behind.
As we walked up the stairs to his apartment, a sense of nervousness settled in the pit of my stomach.
This felt different, almost odd. Being here with Eden outside of our usual baking lessons was… strange.
But as we entered his apartment, I couldn’t help but feel a slight sense of familiarity wash over me.
His place was cozy, slightly colder than usual but the slight scent of vanilla was still in the air.
While Eden set his hockey stick down by the door and dropped his bag, I made my way deeper inside the apartment, aiming for his living room.
I loved his living room. It was cozy and inviting, very modern though. It was also strangely clean for a twenty-one-year-old college guy. His couch was comfy, the throw pillows neatly arranged, and a soft blanket draped over the back.
The large window let in a sliver of moonlight, casting a gentle glow across the room.
I settled onto the couch, feeling a little out of place. Eden joined me a moment later, sitting close enough that our arms almost brushed against each other.
Eden glanced at me with a smile playing on his lips, as if he knew the effect he was having on me tonight.
It was really strange. Not once had I looked at Eden this way, allowed his charm to sweep me off my feet, or even slightly mess with my composure. But tonight it was different, and I didn’t know why or how.
It must’ve been that stupid kiss. Definitely threw me off tonight. But I was going to be the same old me tomorrow, right?
He was staring at me, his eyes lingering on my body as if they were analyzing every piece of me.
I cleared my throat, suddenly feeling self-conscious under his gaze. “So, what did you want to talk about?” I asked, hoping to avoid whatever feelings were building inside me.
“How about we don’t?” he said softly, his voice dropping an octave.
My heart skipped a beat as I tried to decipher the meaning behind his words.
Eden’s gaze held mine, his green eyes searching for something in me that I couldn’t quite place.
He reached out and I found myself holding my breath as I waited for him to touch me. Before gently cupping my cheek as he leaned closer, he tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
Our breaths mingled, and my mind raced with questions and doubts, but in that moment, all I could focus on was the warmth of his touch and the intensity of his eyes.
“We can’t just stare at each other without saying a word,” I whispered as the urge to say something, anything, was too much to hold back.
Eden’s thumb brushed against my cheek as he leaned in closer, his gaze unwavering.
His lips hovered just inches from mine, teasing and tempting.
I closed my eyes, the anticipation building. As Eden’s warm breath fanned over my lips, shivers ran down my spine.
And then, his lips met mine in a soft, tender kiss. It was almost like a spark igniting between us, setting off whatever was simmering beneath the surface.
His tongue traced the outline of my lips before slipping into my mouth, exploring and tasting every inch.
I could feel his hands roaming over my body, pulling me closer to him as the kiss deepened. My hands found their way to his hair, tangling in the soft, curly strands as I responded with a soft gasp.
As we broke apart, his forehead still pressed against mine, our breaths ragged and hearts pounding, Eden whispered, “Ah, fuck.”
Was this a good or bad thing? I wasn’t sure.
Either way, I pulled back immediately. “I’m sorry,” I blurted out, feeling a surge of panic rising within me. “I’ve never kissed anyone before, so… yeah. I’m the worst kisser ever.”
The corners of his lips tugged up into a smile as he cocked his head at me. “Is that so?” His voice was low and filled with amusement. “I don’t know, Ally-Bear. I think you might just be a natural. But we’re definitely going to have to try again so I can be sure.”
Heat traveled to my cheeks, and I wanted nothing more but for a black hole to appear underneath me and swallow me whole.
“You look cute when you’re blushing.” He stroked a strand of my hair out of my face and toyed with it nervously. His eyes closed as he realized what he just said, and instantly, a deep breath drew from his lungs.
The last time someone called me cute was when my grandparents came to visit from Italy. I was eight years old at that time.
Sure, my friends occasionally gave me compliments, but it was different when it came from someone who couldn’t have cared any less about you.
Eden needed me for one thing and one thing only: to make sure he could bake his sister’s baby shower pastries. He didn’t have to say I looked cute when I blushed—which I definitely didn’t.
My face must’ve been as red as a tomato, at least, that’s what it felt like. Yet somehow he lied to me and almost made me believe him.
Almost.
I cleared my throat, moving a bit farther away from him. “Well, uhm… I think we should probably not do this again.”
Something shifted the second those words left my mouth. Eden’s faint smile faltered, his eyes drained of the spark I’d seen a moment prior, and his lips parted and closed again as if he was at a loss for words.
At least until he bobbed his head. He regained his composure, and finally found his voice. “Yeah, of course not.” He sounded odd, almost hurt. “We’re just friends, right?”
I nodded, yet somehow, that nod felt wrong.
I always knew exactly what I wanted, and I always got it.
From a very young age, I knew I wanted to become a photographer—though I could never decide which kind of photographer. I still had some time to figure that out, though, and I knew I would eventually.
When I first started baking at twelve years old, I knew I wanted to master it. I worked hard, baked almost daily to reach a decent enough level, and I never gave up getting there.
I wanted good grades, not because I had to or needed them, but I made sure to get them.
The only times I didn’t get what I wanted was when it involved other people.
Each time I thought a boy was even remotely cute, he’d been my obsession from the very first second. And though I was aware I’d never talk to him because I was far from confident enough to do so, I knew this very crush wouldn’t leave for a while. And that was okay.
Still, I could see my future life when I closed my eyes, and nothing had ever disturbed those fantasies.
Not until Eden came along and decided to wreck all my plans.
Austin was supposed to be my goal. He was supposed to fall in love with me—thanks to Eden, but that didn’t matter.
Well, alright, when I talked to Austin the other day, he was kind of an asshole, but maybe he just had a bad day. He might’ve still very well been the awesome, sweet guy I imagined him to be.
I couldn’t give up on that yet, could I? I’d been crushing on Austin for far too long for him to have been nothing but a waste of my time.
An illusion.
Sure, I knew there was a possibility that Austin wasn’t going to be anything like the one I had pictured for myself. He could’ve been the complete opposite. But… no. I’d been dreaming of him for years. I couldn’t give that dream up because of one interaction.
And Eden… well, it was complicated.
He didn’t like me.
Okay, maybe he did like me. As a friend. The friend he was slowly shaping into whatever version of me he preferred.
Much like I did with Austin in my head…
Oh, God.