Chapter 3
Chapter Three
I was barely in the bathroom for a minute before there was a knock on the door.
Since entering, I’d rested my hands on the counter around the sink with my fingers curled around the edge.
I couldn’t help but squeeze the cool marble.
My body didn’t want to move to answer the door.
I wondered if I pretended not to hear whoever had knocked, they’d go away.
Another knock came, making me close my eyes in defeat.
“One moment,” I forced out. It took more effort than it should have to go over to the toilet I hadn’t used and flush it. I returned to the sink to wash my hands quickly.
The moment I cracked the door, it was shoved open fully and I came face to face with Mother.
She crowded me, making me walk backward, farther into the bathroom.
I was so startled at first that it wasn’t until she shut the door with a gentle silence that a sinking feeling of dread bloomed in my stomach.
At the sound of the lock turning in place, she faced me.
Her eyes, which were so different from mine, were angry.
She reached for me. I flinched but managed to clamp my mouth closed on a little yelp that had been trying to make its way up my throat.
I knew that if I drew any sort of attention, I would be punished way worse than what was to come.
She grabbed my upper arm tight enough to bruise and brought her angry face close to mine. “Are you trying to embarrass me?” Her voice was low and seething.
I shook my head quickly.
Her nails dug into my arm as she shook me hard enough to make my neck jerk. “You can’t do anything right.”
I tensed up at the pain in my arm and hissed out, “I’m sorry.”
“You’re so pathetic. I can’t rely on you for anything.”
“I’ll do better.” My words were a promise as much as a plea.
“I can’t believe you’ve turned him down before,” she growled. “And then you hesitated when he asked you out again.”
“I—”
Her other hand shot up to grab my mouth and chin, stopping me from speaking. “I don’t want to hear your excuses. You will go out with him tonight and be the perfect date. I better not hear that you did anything to give him any doubt that you want to be with him. Am I understood?”
I nodded the best I could against her strong grasp.
Her hands dropped away from my face and arm. She turned toward the bathroom mirror to look herself over. I only glanced at myself for a moment. I was red all around the sides of my mouth down to my chin.
As she tucked away a stray hair, her eyes met mine through the mirror. “Find your purse and fix yourself up before returning to the dining room.”
She didn’t wait around for me to agree. She just walked out, expecting me to do as I was told.
I was not dressed to go to a party. Pearls and white lace were going to stand out among the kegs and Solo cups.
Before learning about dinner at the Carmichaels’, I hadn’t planned on going to Tristen’s stupid party tonight.
Yet here I was, in Brandon Carmichael’s red Porsche Cayman.
The inside smelled like his cologne. It was so strong I could taste it.
It wasn’t a bad scent. It was warm and spicy.
Maybe a little too much of both. I had a feeling I was going to get a headache if I had to inhale it much longer.
When we pulled onto Tristen’s street, I was a little relieved.
“You’re quiet,” Brandon said, breaking the silence that had taken over the moment we’d left his house.
What am I supposed to say to someone I’m being forced to date?
Remembering Mother’s order made me internally wince. I needed to make him happy. I needed to be perfect for him.
“You’ve always been a quiet girl,” he added.
Less talking meant fewer lies I’d have to tell.
“What I mean to say is, you’re even more quiet than normal.”
He didn’t know me enough to know what my normal was. The version of me at school, at parties, was who I was expected to be. I supposed that wasn’t his fault.
Am I being too judgmental?
Brandon parked in front of Tristen’s large, modern house that had way too many windows. After he turned off the engine, he turned in his seat slightly to face me. “I understand that tonight was a lot. You were obviously blindsided.”
I wondered if he’d known what was going to happen tonight—our arrangement. If he had, I wasn’t going to feel bad about being too quick to judge.
“Clearly, our parents see our families coming together as mutually beneficial. I can’t exactly say I was unhappy about their decision when they talked to me about it. I’ve had feelings for you for a while.”
Well, that absolved my guilt. If only that didn’t make me feel worse. Alone was the best word to describe what I was feeling on top of everything else. Alone in this situation where I was no more than chattel.
Brandon let out a heavy sigh that made me want to roll my eyes. “What I’m trying to say is that we should make the best of the situation.” He gently grabbed my hand and ran his thumb over my knuckles while he gave me his golden-boy grin. “Give me a chance to woo you.”
I would have gagged if I hadn’t been afraid of the consequences. Despite my best efforts to suppress who I was and what I knee-jerkingly wanted to do, my body always seemed to rebel at the worst times. Right now, it was making my eye twitch. I had to quickly look down so he wouldn’t see.
Maybe what he said would have been romantic if I had feelings for him or was attracted to him in the slightest. He was just too perfect.
He was handsome, came from money, was a great athlete and student.
He was the ideal man…to my mother. That was what tainted everything about him.
That and the fact that I was being forced to be with him.
Trying to convince me to give him a chance to woo me told me he knew I wasn’t into him—knew I wasn’t happy being forced into a relationship with him. I looked back up and met his amber eyes. There was excitement in them and triumph.
How lucky he is to get what he wants.
There was very little I wouldn’t have given to fucking scream into the abyss right now.
“Okay.” That word was nothing more than my survival.
Whether he could sense my dismay or not, his boyish grin turned into a happy one. “Good.” He released my hand. “Wait there. I’m going to get your door.”
He quickly climbed out of the car. As soon as he shut his door, I exhaled heavily and tried to swallow despite how tight my throat felt. I wouldn’t cry, but that didn’t mean I didn’t have the urge. I’d just learned over time that tears never helped me in any way.
How far am I expected to go to make him happy?
I shook my head to make that intrusive thought go away. It didn’t matter if Brandon saw me. Maybe he’d think I was crazy and not want me anymore. Then I thought better. Him not wanting me would backfire for me badly. I couldn’t stop this from happening. There was no way out.
Right away, he took my hand again after opening my door.
He was obviously trying to help me out of the car, but everything about it made me want to cringe.
Purse in hand, I climbed out. He closed the door and I tried to pull my hand free.
His grip tightened, stilling me. When he felt that I wouldn’t pull away anymore, he laced his fingers with mine.
He looked from our hands to me with another grin. “This okay?”
I nodded despite the voice inside my head screaming no.
The sun had set a few hours ago, which meant the party would be in full swing. With the amount of people hanging around out front and the music loud enough to be heard from the bottom of Tristen’s long driveway, it undoubtedly was.
As we walked through the open front door, the noise made the air feel like it was vibrating. There were people everywhere. Most were from Kendry. Some, I could tell, were from the other side of the bridge. Beer, a mixture of different colognes and perfumes, and weed filled the air.
“Hey, Lottie!”
“Brandon, bro, it’s about time you showed up!”
People greeted us as we passed by. A few stopped us. Those were Brandon’s friends or teammates. Every one of them noticed Brandon holding my hand, but only one commented on it.
“Are you two a thing?” Oliver, one of Brandon’s teammates, asked.
Glancing at me with a smile, Brandon didn’t hesitate to answer, “Yeah.”
He’d gone from “give me a chance” to “we’re official” fast enough to give me whiplash. All I could manage was a stiff smile.
Still holding my hand, he led me farther into the house to what seemed to be the designated drink station, near a large, fully equipped kitchen.
Two football players were manning the kegs.
They both let out boisterous, drunk greetings when they saw Brandon and me before grabbing a Solo cup each and filling them with beer.
“I thought you said you weren’t coming,” Alicia’s familiar voice said from behind me.
She and Evie had asked me earlier today at lunch while I’d kept myself busy actually doodling with a pen in my notebook.
It had helped distract me from the delicious smells coming from their food.
I, of course, had told them I hadn’t been planning to come tonight, which they’d just accepted.
They never tried to talk me into things.
It was a perk of our friendship. After that, they had carried on talking amongst themselves about what they were going to wear and who they were hoping to get alone tonight.
I turned to face Alicia. She had decided to wear the short, skintight red dress she and Evie had been talking about at lunch.
It looked good on her and showed off her long, sun-kissed legs.
She was staring at my and Brandon’s interlocked hands with a frown.
Seeing that frown reminded me of another reason I hadn’t agreed to “hang out” with Brandon the last time he’d asked. Alicia had liked him for years.
“I wasn’t planning to,” I said, and quickly added, “But I changed my mind.”