Chapter 5 #2
“Are you sure you’re all right?” he asked again.
I was going to answer him, but he glanced back in the direction of the theater our movie was playing in.
“I know it’s none of my business, but don’t let guys your age pressure you into anything.
” He stared down at me as he scratched at his bearded jaw.
“Don’t apologize for not wanting to do something.
Just say no. And if that prick can’t accept that, then don’t give him your time—or knee him in the balls, hard.
The world would be a lot better if he didn’t reproduce. ”
So he’d seen what had transpired between me and Brandon. I folded my arms across my chest, embarrassed. I wanted to tell him it sure as hell wasn’t his business, but I held back. He wasn’t being malicious, only offering advice. It just happened to make me feel pathetic at the same time.
My eyes drifted up to meet his and I got that familiar feeling again. “Have we met before?”
He went still and hesitated before answering, “No.”
“Do you always give advice about boys to strangers?”
The corner of his mouth lifted. “No. Only you.”
I nodded. “I guess I should be honored to be the exception.”
“I don’t know about that,” he said. “I’m just a nosy old man who couldn’t keep his mouth shut.”
“Most people wouldn’t have said anything at all,” I said, looking away. “It’s easier that way.”
He didn’t respond and silence stretched between us. What was sad was that I was more comfortable standing in an empty hall with a stranger than sitting next to someone Mother wanted me to date.
“I should—” I started to say when he said, “Do you like candy?”
I stared at him with raised brows.
“I’m going to go buy sour straws. I can get you something, too.” For the first time, his voice lacked confidence and he appeared unsure, which was strange to see in someone who I’d heard people call a thug or a criminal. Maybe he was those things, but he seemed to be kind, too.
“That was such a kidnapper thing to say. If I didn’t know you rode a motorcycle, I’d think you were trying to lure me away to your van with the promise of candy,” I said.
He chuckled as he glanced down at his jean vest. “I guess my cut gave me away.”
In Summerhaven, only a person living under a rock didn’t know who the Haven’s Rebels were. “Thank you for the offer, but I should get back.”
He nodded and I could have sworn I saw a little bit of disappointment in his eyes. “Good luck with the guy.”
“Thanks,” I said as I walked around him and returned to the theater.
Brandon held onto my purse until the end of the movie.
Knowing I needed to make it right, I took his hand in mine as we made our way out of the theater.
That seemed to surprise him, but he didn’t reject me.
As we headed for the building’s exit, I glanced behind me, looking for the president of the Haven’s Rebels.
He had his arm around his wife as they also walked toward the exit, but about twenty feet behind us.
He was already staring at me. “See you around, kid,” he said loud enough for me to catch.
His wife looked at him with a puzzled frown. Then her gaze landed on me and her golden brown eyes went wide. Just before Brandon and I walked out the exit doors, I could have sworn I heard her say, “Is that—?” The rest of what she said was cut off when the doors closed.
Brandon walked me to my G-Wagon. He had been quiet the entire time, as if waiting to see my next move. Before I climbed in, I mentally steeled myself for what I was about to do.
“Brandon,” I said as I turned toward him. He wasn’t wearing his usual golden-boy smile; he appeared standoffish, which was making me doubt my plan. “Can we take things slow?”
He didn’t immediately respond. Instead, he scowled. “What do you mean by that?”
“I’m not as experienced as you.” That was only sort of a lie.
“I thought—” He cut himself off and I could see that his mind was reeling. “You’re a virgin?”
I nodded even though I wasn’t. I’d had sex exactly one time three months ago. It had been highly disappointing. I could have spent those two minutes doing something more productive.
“Oh,” he responded simply. Then a slow smile took over his face, making me wonder if I’d made a mistake. He stepped closer and took my hands in his. “How far have you gone with someone?”
“Kissing,” I lied.
“So no one’s ever touched you?”
Ick. So much ick.
Not confident I could hide the disgust in my voice, I shook my head.
The pleased smile on his face was unnerving. “Can I at least get a kiss goodbye?”
I knew kissing him was something I was most likely going to have to do.
Knowing that didn’t make it any easier. So I leaned in, offering myself to him.
He didn’t hesitate. I closed my eyes, trying to block out the sensation as his mouth covered mine.
It ended as fast as it started, but the feeling lingered after we pulled away from each other.
“I’ve been dreaming about doing that.” Clearly he thought saying that would make me swoon.
My face twitched as I fought not to scrunch my nose. I turned toward my car, hinting that I was ready to leave. “I’ll see you tomorrow at school.”
He grabbed my wrist and pulled me back to him. His other hand cupped my face, and he kissed me again. I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for it to be over.
He pulled away slowly and stopped when he could stare into my eyes. His thumb brushed across my cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
It wasn’t until I was in my car driving home that my shoulders sagged a little with relief.
I rubbed my lips with my fingers, trying to make the feeling of his mouth go away.
It didn’t. At least, not right away. Needing to release my frustration, I grasped my steering wheel with both hands and let out a loud, frustrated groan.
I did that until I was pulling up my driveway.
When I got inside my house, I headed for the kitchen. I was hungry and pretty sure Prue had left me a piece of boiled chicken breast in the fridge to reheat.
At the sound of something rolling across a hard surface, I instantly knew I wasn’t alone.
Mother was sitting at the kitchen island in her cream silk robe, its sash barely holding it closed, revealing that she had nothing on underneath.
Her long hair was down and curtaining her face.
An almost empty crystal tumbler sat in front of her.
It was a little after five and I could tell she was already drunk.
With one of her hands, she was moving a rolling pin back and forth on the quartz counter.
I was hoping that she hadn’t noticed me and I could back out of the room. Before I could even take a step, her head tilted, and her gray eyes met mine.
“I was just getting some water,” I lied quickly.
“Where were you?” Even though her words were a little slurred, her tone was like ice.
“I went to the movies with Brandon.”
Anger molded her expression. “Then why are you back already?”
“The movie was over,” I answered, but that was apparently the wrong thing to say.
“I don’t want to hear your excuses!” she yelled as she stood, knocking over the stool she was sitting on.
The sound of it hitting the tile was loud and made me flinch.
Mother’s fingers curled around the rolling pin, and she dragged it with her along the counter as she stalked toward me. “You should be with him right now!”
“He had plans with his friends,” I lied as I took a step back.
As she reached the end of the island, the rolling pin fell off the edge and it dangled in her hand. I looked from it to her with fear squeezing tightly around my entire rib cage. My body begged for me to run, but I knew if I did it’d be worse for me in the end. She would call upon Clay to help her.
“Have you fucked him yet?” she snarled.
I was taken aback for a split second before shaking my head. “We’ve only been dating for a few days.”
She let out a frustrated noise and fisted her hair with her free hand.
“You’re so fucking useless. I can’t rely on you to do anything right.
You’re nothing like me. You’re like him.
Fucking nothing! Fucking scum! You will never be anything, just like him!
I should have fucking aborted you when I had the chance! ”
I should have been used to this. Her words weren’t original. Or at least, most of them weren’t. Her verbal lashes didn’t hurt as much as they once had, but I could still feel the sting.
“You’re pathetic. You will always be pathetic and useless,” she continued, and it was withering something away in me.
When she got like this, I’d normally just take whatever she said without reaction.
Reacting only made things worse. Maybe it was because I was emotionally drained from hanging out with Brandon, but today I couldn’t not react.
Instead of being hurt, for the first time, I got angry and forgot why I needed to be afraid.
“Why are you making me be with him?” I demanded. “What do you gain from it?”
Mother went still, eyes burning with unrestrained rage, before she came at me, rolling pin raised above her head.
There were no thoughts. Only fear. I stumbled backward until I slammed into a wall.
I just barely had enough time to put my arm up as she brought the rolling pin down.
She hit the outside of my forearm. I didn’t hear a crack, which I’d been bracing for, but it hurt enough to make me cry out and slide down to the floor.
Shaking and cowering, I cradled my arm to my chest.
“Who are you to question me!” she roared above me and raised the rolling pin again. “You are nothing!”
I knew I wouldn’t be able to block her again with a hurt arm.
I just tried to lean away to protect my head.
The pin landed across my collarbone and the top of my shoulder.
A cry of pain was ripped from me again, undoubtedly echoing through the house loud enough for staff to hear and ignore.
“I’m sorry! Please! I’m sorry!” I pleaded as I tried to crawl away before she could hit me again.
Her nails scraped my scalp as her fingers locked around my hair and she dragged me back to face her.
She dropped the rolling pin so she could grab my throat while still holding me by my hair.
Her nails dug into my skin as she squeezed, making it hard to breathe.
She looked me in the eyes as she continued to verbally rip me apart.
Saying all the same things but in different ways.
I was nothing.
I was pathetic.
She should have smothered me in my crib or thrown me from the Kendry Bridge.
I just tried to stay as still as possible, taking in small gasps of air when I could, and let her vent her rage and her hate for me.