Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
I didn’t sleep much that night. My mind raced after reading the letter from my father. Not only that, my last memories of him refused to leave me alone. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw his last moments…the way he’d fallen.
I quickly shook my head as I walked into my school’s library.
Stop thinking about it.
Abraham Kane.
Abraham Kane.
Noah Kendry wasn’t my real father. Abraham Kane was.
I’d been tempted to look him up on the internet.
I hadn’t yet. What if he was a horrible person?
With Mother’s track record, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was like Clay.
What if he was a good man? Out of the two options, that would be the biggest disappointment.
I knew it was messed up, but having a horrible man for a father was easier to accept because I wouldn’t have been any better off growing up.
So I’d decided to live not knowing for right now. I’d taken too many blows emotionally and physically; I needed a break or I would break. And I was so fucking close. Which was why I was in the school library.
Mother was away. I loved having the house to myself. But school was another story. I was avoiding Brandon. I was sure Alicia and Evie didn’t want me sitting next to them, either. I didn’t know how to fix things with them, and I wasn’t sure if it was worth it.
The library was nearly empty, but a few students were sitting at the cluster of tables by the entrance.
Not really wanting to be seen, I headed for the stacks toward the fiction side.
As I walked, I searched for the romance section.
At this point I was desperate to find inspiration.
I’d lied to Ms. Clark yesterday. I still hadn’t any clue what to draw.
I passed the fantasy section, the horror section, the mystery section, and was almost all the way in the back when a voice stopped me. “Can I help you find something?”
I turned around as Lemon Caswell stepped out of a row I had just passed.
She was my age, with long, straight, yellow-blonde hair and bright green eyes.
Her father was a CEO for some company I didn’t know, and her mother had passed away when she was young.
I’d overheard Alicia and Evie gossiping about her once.
They had said that her father spent more time working in New York than at home.
She was shy and spent all her time hidden away in the school’s library.
“Is there a romance section?” I asked her. I figured that if she’d offered to help and if the gossip about her was true, she might know where things were.
Her brows rose slightly, and she nodded. “This way.”
I followed her past two more rows, then we went to the left through one, came out the other side, turned right, went up another two rows and turned left again.
“This entire aisle is romance. It’s not the biggest. A lot of it is young adult and new adult, but there are a few adult romances mixed in. Just know that most of them are fade-to-black or closed-door romances,” she said.
“Fade to black?” I repeated, unsure what that meant.
“It means there aren’t any explicit scenes written in the book,” she explained.
“I enjoy a good wholesome romance every now and then, but most of the time I need the spice. I don’t know what that says about me.
” She shrugged like she didn’t care. “Sometimes it gives me blue ovaries if I read a whole book only for them to kiss on the last freaking page. No offense, if that’s what you enjoy. ”
For someone who was supposed to be shy, she was very talkative. “You seem like you really enjoy reading.”
She looked away and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Yeah. Books are the best way to escape reality.”
“I could use that,” I mumbled.
“Would you like any recommendations?”
I shook my head. I wanted to be hidden in the stacks for as long as I could. The fewer people saw me, the better. I didn’t need Brandon finding out where I was.
“Then I’ll let you look. I volunteer during the lunch hour. If you need any more help, come and find me,” she said before leaving.
I started perusing by reading titles until one piqued my interest. It was called So This Is Love by Shanley Stoker.
I was so engrossed reading the synopsis on the back of the book that I didn’t realize someone had come up behind me until I sensed them near my ear.
“Taking Wyatt’s advice?” a male voice whispered.
My soul tried to leave my body as I jumped and quickly spun around.
Roe was so close behind me that I brushed against him as I turned.
Face to face, there wasn’t much room between us.
With each inhale, I took his scent in. Leather and musk.
It was addicting to the point that I caught myself leaning closer to him.
If I hadn’t, I was pretty sure I would have buried my nose in his chest.
I corrected my posture as I stared up at him. He towered over me by at least six inches. Keeping my volume low, I asked, “Did you follow me?”
He leaned his shoulder against the bookshelf and folded his arms over his chest. “I saw you come in here.”
So he did follow me.
He eyed the book in my hand. “Did you come in here for research or to hide?”
I had the urge to lie but stopped myself. “Both.”
“I don’t understand rich people. Maybe one day you’ll explain it to me.” He shook his head. “If you don’t like him, why do you have to be with him?”
I took a step back, needing distance, and went back to looking at the books on the shelf at eye level.
As I scanned over the titles, I didn’t read a single one.
“Our parents want us together. I think Brandon’s family is trying to gain a connection to the Kendry empire.
I’m not sure what Mother—I mean—my family will gain from the Carmichaels.
Brandon is totally for it. He’s had a thing for me for a while. ”
“But you don’t?”
It doesn’t matter what I want, I wanted to say.
I gave the slightest shake of my head and instantly felt guilty about it. It was too much vulnerability revealed. Too much honesty. I felt like I might get in trouble if anyone found out. I quickly glanced at the end of the aisle and past Roe. No one seemed to be around.
“Is there a reason you feel like you can’t tell them no?” There was a carefulness to his words. Like he was worried he might upset me.
He didn’t, but I didn’t answer.
“Maybe that was too personal,” he said.
I nodded and glanced at him. He didn’t appear upset or disappointed. Just watchful. I wondered if he liked what he saw when he stared at me. It was a forbidden thought. Yet I was still curious.
“All right.” He unfolded his arms, and his tattooed fingers grabbed the end of a curled tendril of my hair.
He rubbed the golden blonde strands between his thumb and forefinger before bringing them up close to his face.
The inhale he took raised the temperature in that space between the stacks.
“Your hair smells like peaches and flowers.”
“Peach and honeysuckle.” It was the scent of my shampoo.
He curled the end of the tendril around two fingers as his eyes traveled up toward mine. But something caught them first and his gaze stopped at my neck. His brow furrowed and with his other hand he pushed the other side of my hair back over my shoulder. “Is this from when the box fell on you?”
My bruises were really dark today and I was still waiting for the good concealer to arrive. There was only so much the makeup I had on hand could do.
I quickly reached up to cover the side of my neck that was peeking out above my collar and stepped away from him. “Yeah. Isn’t it ugly?”
“It looks like you have bruises on both sides of your neck.” I could see the gears turning behind his eyes and I worried what he’d assume.
“I know,” I said like it wasn’t a big deal.
“When I was trying to get the box down, it tipped. Unbeknownst to me at the time, my freshman yearbook was sitting on top of it. It slid off and dinged me on one side of my neck, which made me jerk and pull the box down on me. It’s not my proudest moment, but I’ve always been a klutz. ”
His frown didn’t go away.
Panic was building in my chest. I couldn’t let it show. I had to continue to act as if it was truly nothing. “I better check out my book.” I held up So This Is Love for him to see. “We’ll see if it helps.”
His frown eased a little. “Where will you go now that you’ve found your book?” He pulled a book out from a shelf slightly before pushing it back into place. “Back to him?” Annoyance laced his tone.
I stared down at the paperback in my hands and whispered, “I don’t want to.”
He didn’t say anything right away and it made me look at him. He tilted his head toward the front of the library. “Go check out your book.”
I left to do just that. As Lemon helped me check out, she commented, “You managed to find one of the few spicy ones we have. This is a good one. Hopefully we run into each other again and you can tell me what you think of it.”
“I’m sure we will,” I said before heading for the exit.
Just before leaving, I glanced back looking for Roe. When I didn’t see him anywhere, I felt disappointed.
As I walked out, I debated whether or not I should go to the nurse to hide out for the rest of lunch.
Just as the library door closed behind me, a hand grasped mine and I was pulled to the left.
I was startled at first, thinking it was Brandon.
Then I saw tattooed fingers covering mine.
As my eyes made their way up, meeting stormy blue ones, the disappointment and fear that had control of me quickly washed away.