Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
The sound of Wyatt’s phone beeping was what woke us up in the morning.
It was still dark outside, and it felt as if we had just closed our eyes.
We had stayed up late watching TV while eating the food we had ordered from the hotel’s restaurant.
I hadn’t been hungry, but Wyatt had convinced me to eat a little.
Now it was time for him to go and for me to get up and face another day like everything was fine, like I always had done.
Wyatt tried to move out from under me gently. I got off him and lay on my side as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.
“Why don’t you try and sleep a little longer?” he whispered.
My mind was already racing, and it would only get worse when he left. I sat up and turned on the bedside lamp. “I’m awake.”
He picked up his pants from where he had placed them on the other bed last night before we’d gone to sleep. I knew it wasn’t polite to watch him dress, but I couldn’t keep my eyes away as he shoved his legs into his jeans and pulled them up over his gray boxer briefs that outlined…a lot.
Catching me staring, he smiled.
I felt my cheeks go a little warm.
He sat on the edge of the other bed while he put his shoes on. “You know, you don’t show a lot of emotion.”
“I’ve been told.”
“You did just then.” He was still grinning. “I have never wondered so much what someone is thinking or feeling until I met you.”
“I’m sorry I torture you so,” I grumbled.
He chuckled. “I guess that makes me a masochist.”
“You like that I torture you?”
He stood and came next to where I sat on the bed. “I like it more when I am able to read you. Those moments feel more meaningful.” He curled some of my hair behind my ear as he stared down at me. “Just like right now, when you were checking me out.”
I looked away, my cheeks getting really hot.
He laughed as he leaned down. “You’re adorable.” He pressed his lips on top of my head.
Just before he could fully pull away, I turned my head to look up at him, bringing our faces inches apart. His eyes met mine just before dropping to my mouth. I could see his desire to kiss me.
“Can you read me right now?” I asked him.
He sighed as he pulled away, making me regret opening my mouth. He probably saw my disappointment—I couldn’t hide it fast enough.
“It’s not that I don’t want to. I do. But you’ve just gone through something and I don’t want to take advantage of that.”
I nodded, respecting what he wanted. For him, it had just happened.
For him, it was new and traumatic. For me, I hadn’t “just” gone through something.
I was stuck in a constant, never-ending cycle.
It had just been another fucking Sunday in hell.
Something bad would happen again and again.
An opportunity to kiss someone I thought was kind and handsome would not.
But he didn’t know all that, and because I liked him, I wished that he never would.
“Will you be staying here again tonight?” he asked.
“I think so.”
“I work part-time at the auto shop the club owns and I have a shift today. If you’re okay with it, I can come back tonight after I get off.”
“You want to spend the night again?” I asked.
He nodded. “Yeah, I do.”
“Okay.”
He smiled and told me he’d text me before leaving work. As soon as the door shut behind him, the loneliness I had known my whole life felt a lot heavier.
Thanks to Prue, I had everything I needed for school and the next few days.
Last night, the front desk had been nice enough to bring up the suitcase she had packed and dropped off for me.
As I stripped before getting into the shower, I realized the bloodstone necklace was missing from around my neck.
I tried to think back to the last time I’d felt it or noticed it, and that had been while dancing with Mac at Noble’s Pub.
I wondered if the pub had a lost and found. I’d have to ask Wyatt tonight.
After showering, I saw the extent of what Clay had done to me in the mirror. My body looked as horrible as I felt. It didn’t make things any better when I started peeing blood, too. I wished it was a shock to see, but it almost always happened when I took a hit to the kidneys.
Before walking into school today, I made sure to take pain meds, not that they helped all that much. My morning classes went by in a blur. Now it was lunchtime. The pain meds had worn off and I was headed to the nurse’s office to get more. Before I could make it, a body blocked me.
“Charlotte,” a put-off voice said. I knew it belonged to Brandon before even looking up. “Why haven’t you answered any of my texts or calls?”
I was so not in the mood to deal with him. I couldn’t muster up the right attitude. “Because I’ve been sick all weekend.”
“You couldn’t take a minute to talk to me?” he snapped, without a shred of sympathy in him.
“No.” The word left my lips before I could stop it, and I wasn’t sorry.
His shock was comical. “No?”
“Let’s be honest for once,” I seethed. It felt like I had opened Pandora’s box and now I couldn’t close it.
“You don’t give a shit about me. You just care about fucking me, or else you would have respected my request to take things slow.
” I went to walk away from him and continue to the nurse’s office.
“Where are you going?” He grabbed me by my arm that was still sore from Clay twisting it.
I yelped before swinging. My hand slapped across his face. It was my left hand, so it wasn’t as hard as it could have been, but I was sure it still hurt. “Take your hand off of me!” My voice traveled far, turning the heads of students still in the hall.
I was sure it was only out of shock and wanting to avoid a scene that he released my arm.
Once free, I took off. It wasn’t until I was far away from him that the magnitude of what I had done and the repercussions that would follow hit me.
My steps turned quick as panic exploded in my chest. I passed the nurse’s office.
I couldn’t escape there anymore. My legs seemed to know where they were going before I did, because the next thing I knew, I was headed toward the football field.
As I was getting ready to go behind the bleachers, I hoped—something I hated to do—that he was there. When I rounded the corner and stepped on the path along the chain-link fence, I saw him. Roe was leaning back against the equipment shed with his head tilted back as he smoked a joint.
I stalked toward him until he noticed me. I stopped twenty feet away, unsure what to do as I tried to stop the panting that had nothing to do with walking fast. The last time I had seen him, I’d told him to stay away from me and then ignored his calls and texts.
What if he doesn’t want to see me?
I rubbed my chest as my lungs squeezed, refusing to expand. My side and back were killing me from moving too much. All around, I was a mess.
What did I do?
I hit him.
I began pacing because it was the only thing I could think of to do when I got like this.
I can’t do this anymore.
“Lottie.”
I couldn’t rebel and forget consequences one minute and be overwhelmed with fear and regret the next. Even if Mother didn’t kill me, she was going to hurt me.
“Lottie.”
The punishment would be so bad, I’d carry the scars that would remind me of my mistakes for the rest of my life. Inside me was such a mess. I was so, so terrified, but I was so, so done with it all. I was done living in fear, in pain. I was done with this life.
“Charlotte!” Roe grabbed me with one hand by the back of my neck and pulled me to him until the front of my body fell against his. He held me there, forcing me to stare up at him with his firm grip behind my neck.
He startled the panic attack away and now all I could smell, feel, and see was him. The world just fell away. He always had that effect.
He frowned down at me, his eyes boring into mine.
It was like he was waiting. For what, I didn’t know.
He didn’t take his eyes off me as he brought his joint up.
Desperate to feel as relaxed, I tried to take the joint before it reached his lips.
He held it up high. Ignoring the pain, I tried to reach for it.
I even pushed up onto my tiptoes. He just held it up higher.
When I tried to pull his arm down by his sleeve, he started walking us until my back hit the chain-link fence.
It rattled as I let out a gasp of surprise and pain.
His hand dropped away from my neck and managed to collect both of mine.
I didn’t resist, and I ignored the soreness in my hurt arm as he pinned my hands above my head.
I was a willing victim for him. One who waited and watched with held breath.
He brought the joint to his mouth and took a puff.
When he pulled the joint away, he didn’t exhale.
He leaned in, bringing his mouth so close to mine, and as he began to blow out, I inhaled what he was giving me until I couldn’t expand my lungs anymore.
I held it in, and he waited. I exhaled slowly, and as I did, he released my hands.
One hand went to my hip while his other tapped the joint on a flat part of the fence to extinguish it.
I brought my hands to his chest and fisted the lapels of his blazer.
I pulled on him as I went to my tiptoes.
His hand that had been dealing with the joint grabbed onto the fence right next to my head, stopping me from pulling him any closer.
Even on my tiptoes, I still couldn’t touch my mouth to his.
“Roe,” I pleaded.
He stared down at me with a blank expression as I offered myself to him. “What do you want from me, Lottie?”
I moved a hand up until it was behind his neck and my fingers were in his hair. I held my mouth as close to his as possible. “Kiss me. I want you to kiss me.”
My plea was the key to the shackles that held him back.
His mouth slammed down on mine. Him kissing me was everything I had imagined and more.
His lips were soft but dominant. He didn’t kiss me like Brandon.
Roe didn’t have to force anything. I submitted willingly.
It was almost euphoric, being held and kissed by a man who made me feel safe.
It gave me room to just desire him and feel everything he was doing to me.
He nibbled at my lips before he brushed over the gentle bites with his tongue. Just when he was about to do it again, I met his tongue with mine, inviting him, luring him into my mouth. He followed, tasting me, stroking me.
His hand at my hip traveled to the back of my knee and lifted, bringing my leg to his hip. I pulled on his blazer with the hand that still held his lapel and fisted his hair with my other. Needing him closer, I rolled my hips.
He cursed against my mouth before both of his hands went to the backs of my bare thighs under my skirt and he lifted me up.
My legs wrapped around his waist. I moved my hand from his blazer to cup his cheek, and I pulled away just slightly to catch my breath.
“I lied. I don’t want you to stay away from me,” I said against his lips before kissing him again.
“I hit him. He was hurting me, and I hit him. I got scared and I came running to you.”
He pulled away slightly. “What? He hurt you?”
“He just grabbed my arm. I…injured it yesterday, and when he grabbed me as I tried to leave, it hurt, and I smacked him across his face.”
He looked pleased to hear that I’d hit Brandon. “How’d you injure your arm?”
I hesitated to answer. I didn’t want to lie, but I didn’t want him to know the truth, either. “I was wearing socks and my feet slipped on the tile in the kitchen. I landed hard on my knees and elbow.” That was the truth. I’d just omitted a few details.
“Was that before or after you called Mac yesterday?”
“How—?”
“We were all over at Reid’s watching a movie when you called.
I saw Mac’s phone before she answered it.
She left the room after she heard your voice and when she came back, she asked Wyatt for a ride home.
Thing is, Wyatt never came back to Reid’s or home last night. He didn’t get in until this morning.”
I looked away from his all-seeing blue eyes and wiggled so he would set me down. As soon as my feet were on the ground, I said, “Wyatt spent the night in a hotel room with me.”
Roe didn’t immediately respond, as if he needed a few seconds to wrap his head around what I’d just said. “Did you sleep together?” He seemed more curious than upset, which was how I’d assumed he’d feel.
“As in actually sleep, like you and I did the night prior? Yes. If you’re asking if we had sex, no. He stayed with me so I wouldn’t be alone.”
“Why did you have to stay at a hotel last night?”
“Because…” For once I didn’t have a lie in the chamber, ready to fire. I had no idea what to say. “Because I can’t be home right now. I’ll be staying in a hotel for a few days.”
He knew I was avoiding answering and thankfully he didn’t push. “Why didn’t you call me?”
I sighed. “Despite what I want, it doesn’t change anything. It still doesn’t. I’ve just realized I can’t stay away, either.”
He frowned at that.
Before he could think more on what I’d said, I added, “Wyatt said he’d stay with me again tonight.”
“Did he?” he said, sounding a little irked. He stepped toward me, making me back right up against the fence again, and I had to fight not to wince. He grabbed the chain-link with both hands on either side of my head. “And how do I get invited?”