Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
I texted Wyatt to let him know that there had been a change of plans and I would be staying at his house. He already knew. Roe had told him.
When Wyatt got home, Roe and I were working on homework in the dining room. “Honey, we’re home!” he announced as he walked through the door, with Reid right behind him. They were both carrying white plastic bags with the local grocery store’s name on them. They set the bags on the table next to us.
Roe stared at them before looking at Wyatt. “You cooking tonight?”
“Nothing crazy. Just spaghetti and meatballs,” Wyatt said as he came over to me and kissed the top of my head.
Roe’s brows rose. For a split second I thought, Roe might get angry.
I had been way more intimate with him than Brandon, who I supposed was my actual boyfriend, and Brandon had been possessive from minute one.
I didn’t know what Roe and I had, if we had anything at all. Or if we could have anything at all.
Everything was confusing. I couldn’t think or act one way anymore.
Inside, I felt like I was constantly battling with myself.
The good daughter versus the rebel. One lived in fear and was always aware of the consequences.
The other desired freedom so badly, she didn’t care if death was the only way to get it.
Roe’s surprise soon faded and he looked to Reid. “Staying for dinner?”
Reid nodded.
“I’m going to shower first,” Wyatt said. “I got motor oil in my hair. You guys are in charge of putting all this away. Not you, Lottie. You need to take it easy.”
As Wyatt left, Roe and Reid glanced at me questioningly and the only thing I could think of was to focus on my homework.
They thankfully didn’t ask what Wyatt had meant. I knew in the back of my head that patience would eventually run out for not just Roe, but everyone.
Roe pushed his chair back and stood. He and Reid started unpacking the grocery bags. Every once in a while, I’d peek over and watch as Roe put all the cold things in the fridge and Reid put the rest of the groceries away in the pantry at the far end of the galley kitchen.
“Noble won’t be closing tonight,” Reid said as they worked.
“Your point, because I know you have one?” Roe asked.
“Does he know she’s going to be staying here for however long—?”
“It’ll just be for tonight,” I cut in as I worked on a calculus problem on my laptop.
Not even an hour ago, I had gotten a text from Prue telling me that she’d found out from Clay’s house cleaner that he was flying out early tomorrow morning.
Apparently, Prue had “run into” her at the dry cleaners picking up a last-minute suit Clay needed for the trip, and it had happened to come up in conversation.
Whether it genuinely had or not, I was grateful to know he was leaving.
“Yes, Dad knows,” Roe said. “He said she can stay however long she needs to.”
After things were put away, Roe returned to the table. Reid messed around on his phone across from us while we finished up our homework. Roe was done a lot faster than me and most of his classes were AP. I’d known he was smart, but now, I was curious how smart.
“What colleges are you hoping to get accepted to?” I asked him.
“Stanford or MIT,” he answered. “What about you?”
I closed my laptop, finally finished. “I have to go to Brown.”
“Have to?” Reid said, inviting himself into our conversation. “Is there a school you want to go to?”
“All Kendrys go to Brown.”
“You’re...” Reid started to say, but stopped himself. He cleared his throat. “If you weren’t a Kendry, where would you go?”
I stared down at my laptop, feeling vulnerable. I had the answer. It was just hard to voice it. “There’s an art school in California I applied to, but I can’t go even if I’m accepted.”
I could hear the confusion in Reid’s voice when he asked, “If you’re so sure of that, then why did you bother applying?”
“Because my drawing teacher kept insisting and for one moment, I gave in to hope that things could be different. Then reality set in. My family—both my mother and grandfather would cut me off financially. If that didn’t work, my mother would break every bone in my body to stop me from going.
” I hadn’t any doubt she would start with my hands.
I had tried to make it seem like the bone-breaking was just an exaggeration, but Roe was staring at me with an intense look and Reid seemed put off.
I was about to ask them what was wrong when Wyatt walked in looking freshly showered. His dyed blond hair was still wet. “All right, Reid, you’re helping me.”
“I figured,” Reid grumbled and reluctantly stood from the table.
“Roe, stay the hell out of the kitchen. In fact, don’t even come near it,” Wyatt said as he got busy grabbing things from cabinets.
“I told you it was an accident,” Roe said.
“You dumped a whole container of salt into the chili,” Wyatt said.
Roe sighed exhaustedly. “I told you it needed salt.”
Wyatt spun to face him. “Not the whole container!”
“The lid fell off!” Roe shook his head. “You know what, fine. I will stay out of the kitchen.”
Wyatt’s shoulders sagged a little as if relieved, making me wonder if the excessive salt usage hadn’t been the first time Roe had messed up in the kitchen.
“Good. Take the joint thief to the living room,” Wyatt said, gesturing to me. “I’m sure it’s hurting her body more sitting in that hard chair.”
“Wyatt!” I blurted, trying to stop him from saying any more, at the same time Roe asked, “What?”
Reid, who had been standing just outside the kitchen waiting for Wyatt’s instruction, glanced at me.
Wyatt looked from me to Roe and back to me, realizing what he had done. “I thought…” His brow scrunched up. “Since you were here, I thought you told him. I’m sorry.”
Roe’s head turned to me. “What is he talking about?”
I squeezed my eyes shut as I exhaled heavily. I didn’t know what the fuck to say. Normally, I could come up with an explanation quick. Right now, I had nothing. Maybe it was because I knew Roe actually cared—knew he’d see through any lie I could tell.
When I didn’t answer right away, Roe said, “Wy?”
I opened my eyes to find Wyatt wearing a torn look. “I think I’ve betrayed her trust enough. Besides, I don’t know much.”
“Mac was acting out of it today,” Reid said, sounding a little angry. “She won’t tell me what’s wrong, but I know it has to do with whatever happened with you three yesterday. So somebody better start talking.”
Wyatt cursed. “It’s not Lottie’s fault. She doesn’t know about your and Mac’s past.”
Roe stood up. “What do you mean by that?” He looked down at me as if he’d come to some conclusion. “Someone’s been hurting you.”
I stood, putting my hands up. “Wait. I don’t understand what is going on. What is wrong with Mac? What is this about Reid and her past?”
“My dad used to beat the shit out of me, my sister, and my mother,” Reid snapped, his words sharp like they were meant to cut me for even making him voice them.
I just stood there, shocked, as they did.
“Until one day I tried to get help. He nearly killed me for it. My mother finally found some fucking courage and took me to the hospital. After that, there was no hiding what he was doing to us. I told every fucking person in scrubs and a police uniform what he’d done and had been doing. He’s now in prison.”
One word after another, cut after cut. I felt frozen there, unable to move as my secrets bled out.
His past. My reality. My heart broke for him, Mac, and their mother.
I wouldn’t wish the fear I felt every day on my worst enemy.
At the same time, a tiny, ugly part of me was envious that they’d gotten away. They were free.
I couldn’t take my eyes off Reid and the rage pouring off of him. “What did he drink?” I shouldn’t have asked, but I felt like I had been granted an opportunity to not feel so alone.
“Why do you think he drank?” he questioned. “You don’t have to have a drinking problem to be an abusive piece of shit.”
I didn’t feel like I was in my body. I felt like an outsider watching myself answer, “Because it’s always worse when they drink.”
That time, my words cut him, if his stricken look was anything to go by. So many emotions and thoughts showed in his whiskey eyes. “Vodka. It doesn’t have much of a smell and it was easier to hide in the water bottle he carried everywhere.” His tone was so matter-of-fact.
I didn’t even blink when I said, “My mother drinks gin with lime.”
A tear falling down my cheek startled me out of the state Reid’s words had sucked me into. My stomach sank as I realized what I had just done—what I had just implied. I gasped as I brought a shaky hand up to my mouth.
I could feel them staring at me, but I couldn’t face them. Eyes glued to the ground, I started walking. Heading for the front door, I made it past Reid and into the living room.
“Wait!” Wyatt yelled before something dropped in the kitchen.
“Lottie!” Roe yelled at the same time. Before I could make it to the door, he stepped in front of me. “Please wait.”
I shook my head. My chest was hurting so bad. Fear and regret were squeezing my lungs and stabbing my heart. I began rubbing my breastbone, thinking that would help ease the pain. “I have to go. I can’t be here.”
“You don’t need to go anywhere, Lottie,” Roe said as he tried to reach for me.
I took a step back and began rubbing harder. “I need to go home.”
“No!” both Wyatt and Roe said at the same time.
“I can’t be here,” I said again with tears filling my eyes.
Roe put up his hands. “Yes, you can.”
I shook my head. “No, I can’t, Roe. Please let me leave.”
I tried to step around him, but he put his arm out. “Normally, I’d give you your space, but if you walk out that door, I will follow you. I will not let you go back to your house alone.” I had never heard his voice so firm and authoritative.
“It’s empty,” I said. “My mother left for Milan last week and won’t be back for two more weeks.”
“Then who hurt you yesterday?” Wyatt asked, sounding as if he was right behind me.
This was getting out of hand.
“Where is she hurt?” Roe questioned with a hint of disbelief. “I didn’t…” He trailed off as he thought it over, probably remembering all the times I had winced today.
From the heavy sigh Wyatt let out, I knew he was going to answer him. “She has bruises all over. There’s a really bad one on her side where her ribs are.”
Roe went a little pale before he got very angry. Every inch of him went still except for his hands, which fisted. “Was it Brandon?”
Freaking out, I didn’t immediately deny it.
He ran his hands down his face. “I’m going to fucking kill him.”
The fear of him doing such a thing gave me the courage to say, “It was Clay.” My voice came out cracked and just above a whisper.
Roe looked at me, scowling. “What?”
I knew his rage wasn’t directed at me, but it was still hard to see it. “It wasn’t Brandon. It was Clay,” I said a little louder.
Wyatt came to stand next to Roe. “Who is that?”
“My mother’s boyfriend,” I answered numbly. I couldn’t run—I couldn’t handle what was happening. So I was shutting down. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“I think you all should table this for now,” Reid said, shocking the hell out of me. He was the last person I would’ve expected to suggest that.
Roe didn’t look like he wanted to.
The floor creaked and Reid appeared next to me. “Why don’t we go for a walk, Roe.”
Roe was about to protest, but Reid spoke before he could. “She’ll be fine here with Wyatt.”
Hearing his name, Wyatt perked up and inched toward me. “Have you ever cooked before?”
I shook my head.
“Then you can sit on the counter and watch, because apparently I suck at teaching,” Wyatt said with a fake grumble.
“He acts like Gordon Ramsay if you cut one thing wrong,” Reid said.
“If you don’t cut the veggies the same size, they don’t cook evenly,” Wyatt argued.
I knew the two of them were trying to lighten the mood. To see even Reid trying made me feel like this was all a bad dream.
Reid put his hand on Roe’s shoulder. “Let’s get some air.”
Roe was clearly still reluctant, but the two of them left through the front door.
“Would you feel better sitting in a chair?” Wyatt asked. “I can bring one into the kitchen if you want.”
“I’m fine standing,” I said.
“You sure?”
I nodded. “I just need to use the bathroom first.”
“All right,” he said, and watched me head down the hall that led to the bathroom and bedrooms.
I flipped on the light and shut the bathroom door without going into it.
Right next to it was Roe’s room. I dashed into there, leaving the lights off.
I knew my phone and keys were on his desk.
I was able to find them in the dark right away.
Before going back into the hall, I listened.
The sound of the fridge opening and closing told me Wyatt was back in the kitchen.
As quietly as I could, I snuck down the hall, back into the living room, and out the front door.
When I didn’t see Roe and Reid right outside, I knew they had actually gone on a walk. I got into my car and didn’t waste any time driving away.