Chapter 16 Jackson #3
“Yeah, I agree. And they’ve made it their mission to make the camp accessible to kids from all walks of life. There’s a scholarship program where a professional athlete can sponsor kids, or even entire teams, to cover their fees and travel expenses.”
She catches me off guard when she asks, “What’s been your favorite part of working the camp?”
I scratch the scruff covering my jaw as I think about my answer.
If I were being honest, I’d tell her that working with the kids is undoubtedly my favorite part, but I don’t know if that would upset her.
So instead I respond with my second favorite part.
“I love being back at their family lake house. That’s where I spend most of the offseason. It brings back good memories.”
Taevin inches closer to me, giving me a dreamy smile, and the sight has me feeling like I’ll never be more victorious than when I’ve earned one of her smiles.
“We did make some pretty amazing memories that week, didn’t we?”
Nodding in agreement, I’m at a loss for words. July nights by the fire, visions of Taevin in the sun and covered in sand, and watching in awe as she came to life in the glow of the festival lights all come rushing back.
I think she’s just as lost as me because as her face inches closer to mine, her eyes flutter shut only momentarily before her breath hitches in a nearly silent gasp.
She shifts on the couch, moving slowly to a stand. “It’s been a long day, I think I’m going to head to bed.”
Wanting to make sure she makes it there safely, I stand and place my hand on the small of her back, but with the way her sleep tank has shifted, my palm is met with her bare skin.
I feel her tiny goosebumps rise beneath my hand, and from only the slightest touch, it feels like lightning has struck my heart, sending chills of my own straight down my spine.
God, I’ve missed her. When it comes to Tae, my body’s in tune with hers as if no time has passed at all. But time has passed. Too much of it, in fact. So much that it has me dying to feel her lips pressed against mine. Would she taste the same?
Thankfully, Tae moves toward her bedroom before I do something stupid like press her against the wall and find all sorts of answers to all sorts of questions I’ve got.
“You don’t have to walk me to my door, you know,” Tae tells me.
“Oh, I know. I don’t plan to just walk you to your door. I’m going to tuck you in too.”
She scoffs at that. “No you’re not.”
“I most certainly am. Just like old times.” I give her a wink. When she sticks her tongue out at me in response, I throw my head back in laughter. “Always the thorn in my side.”
Spinning to face me once she gets to her door, she pushes playfully at my chest. “Hey, you were the masochist who kept coming back for more,” she teases before her smile falls and her eyes drop to her hand lingering over my heart.
She moves to pull it away but I catch it and bring it back to my chest, needing to hold on to the feel of her touching me for just a moment longer. Lifting her chin, I gaze into her eyes. “I think you’re mistaken,” I tell her.
She swallows. “Is that so?”
“Yeah. You see, you used the past tense when you said that. But the thing is, I’ll never stop coming back for more when it comes to you. You’ve ensnared me for life, Thorn.”
Lifting onto her toes, our faces inch impossibly closer. When she licks her lips, my stomach clenches in anticipation.
“Sounds painful,” she murmurs, and I feel her warm breath against my lips like a caress.
It’s taking all the restraint I have left to hold back in this moment, but I need her to be the one to take this step.
“Good night, Bear,” Tae whispers against my lips as she presses the lightest kiss against the corner of my mouth.
When she pulls back just enough to take in my reaction, I lace my fingers through her hair and bring her mouth back to mine.
Our lips don’t crash together in a passionate frenzy, no this is a long time coming—ten years, in fact—and I plan to take my time reacquainting myself with her lips.
Gliding my tongue along the seam, she opens for me.
Tae’s body sinks against my chest as we moan in harmony at our first taste of each other in nearly a decade.
I savor every moment, slowly rolling my tongue against hers.
Nothing has ever felt as right as this. This is where I belong—who I belong with.
Tae reluctantly breaks our kiss, grabbing hold of my forearms to regain her balance as she sways on her feet. Fear instantly replaces my lust, and I grab her around the waist to anchor her to me. “Are you okay?”
She buries her head in my chest and I think she’s crying when her shoulders begin to shake, until I hear her soft laughter. “I’m alright. Turns out your kisses still make me weak in the knees.”
I breathe a sigh of relief, placing a kiss on the top of her head. “You scared me, baby.”
Lifting up onto her tiptoes, she wraps her hands around my neck and pulls me down for a brief kiss. “I’m sorry for scaring you.”
“Is that all you’re sorry for?” I ask, immediately regretting opening my dumb mouth but needing to know her answer.
With her fingers threaded through my hair, she pulls back and looks me in my eyes. “If you’re asking if I’ll regret kissing you in the morning, the answer is absolutely not. In fact, I think knowing I might get another tomorrow will be the only thing that helps me sleep peacefully tonight.”
I rub my hands up and down her rib cage. “I’ll kiss you whenever you want—every hour of every day if you’d like.”
She flutters her long lashes. “I’m not sure if only once an hour will satisfy my needs.”
“I don’t remember you being so gluttonous.”
“Ten years without you will drive a woman mad with greed.”
“We can’t have that,” I hum in response, tucking a stray hair behind her ear.
“No, I suppose we can’t,” Tae says, bringing me in for another quick kiss. She steps out of my hold and opens her bedroom door, turning to peek at me through the opening. “It’s probably best if I tuck myself in tonight.”
“You sure?”
“I am,” she assures me. “Good night.”
“Night, Tae. Sweet dreams.”
I turn and start down the hallway when she says, “You too. Try to get some sleep.”
“I will.”
“Oh, and Jax?”
Halting, I look over my shoulder at her. “Yeah?”
“Thank you for the kiss goodnight.”
I smirk at her. “You don’t have to thank me.”
She bites her bottom lip and leans against the doorframe. “It was the best way to wrap up our tenth anniversary.”
My shoulders sag in relief when her words register. “You remembered.”
“Always,” she murmurs, giving me a shy smile before closing the door.
As I walk up the stairs to the guest room I’ve been sleeping in since Tae came to stay, I can’t seem to wipe the dopey smile from my lips. Even after I’ve gotten ready for bed, I lie there and smile up at the ceiling.
My phone buzzes on the nightstand, and I’m quick to check to see if it’s Tae saying she needs anything. It isn’t her; instead I find a text from Griff in our group chat.
Pucking Legends:
G-Baby:
It was good talking to you tonight, J. But now that I think about it, was that one of those clock app trends?
Me:
You bet your sweet ass it was. But it turned out to be more than I could’ve ever hoped for. Thanks for being a good sport . . . unlike Bennett!
Me:
I was trying to get Tae to smile. Turns out laughing one week post-abdominal surgery still hurts.
G-Baby:
Glad I could help, man. Love you and thinking of you guys. Let us know if you need anything.
Benny:
Please apologize on my behalf to Taevin for my grumpiness. It wasn’t directed at her.
Me:
Wow, you’re able to be nice to someone just so long as it’s not me?
Benny:
A thousand percent.
Me:
You grumpy motherfucker!
Benny:
I’m a happily married man trying to enjoy my honeymoon. I think it’s perfectly acceptable to be grumpy that I’m getting prank called by my brother on my fucking honeymoon.
Carsey:
Um, what the fuck? What prank call trend is this? And where was my call?
Me:
After I realized how much it hurt her stomach to do the calls, I stopped.
Carsey:
And I was third on your list?! Jaxy, buddy, come on. It’s you and me against the world!
Instead of replying, I click call on his contact. The phone rings once before he answers. “I’ve been awaiting your call, Jaxy Bear.”
I shake my head. “Sorry I made you wait all of five seconds.”
“The wait was unbearable.”
“You’re such a dick.”
“Am not. That title is reserved for Bennett.”
That earns him a chuckle from me. “You’re right.”
“How is she?” he asks, likely knowing exactly why I called. Carson has this weird ability of being in tune with what I’m thinking or what I need, often times before I do.
“She’s, uh, she’s doing okay,” my voice breaks on the last word and it doesn’t get past him.
“What’s the hardest part right now? Break it down for me.”
“Her physical pain seems to be manageable at this point. But I think she’s struggling most with her infertility as a result of her surgery.”
“Shit. I get that. The invisible scars are the hardest to help someone overcome, but I know you can help her through this, Jax.”
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I breathe a sigh of frustration.
“It’s killing me, Carse. She breaks down crying every time we see a baby.
Whether there’s a video on social media, or like today, when she saw the baby aisle in the store, she sobs.
It breaks my fucking heart. And I feel like it’s only going to get worse when we begin the egg retrieval process. ”
“You just said we . . .”
“Yeah. I’ll be helping her through the process, and, uh, you know, giving her my . . . sperm.”
He clears his throat on the other end of the line. “Are you—have you two talked about kids? I mean, having kids together?”
“Of course. Well, I mean, we used to talk about it all the time when we were dating. We both wanted to buy a big plot of land somewhere where we could have a bunch of kids and animals and let them roam around. She wanted three and I wanted five, which she said made me crazy.”
“I’m sure I don’t need to tell you this, but there’s no way you could only be her sperm donor with all of your history. Have you talked about what that means for y’all?”
I blow out an apprehensive breath. “No. I guess I don’t want her to second guess having me be the one to help her. And in light of everything else she’s dealing with right now, it seems futile to ask her about something we don’t even know will have success right now.”
“Shit, Jax. I’m sorry man. Have you talked to her about it since she had her surgery?”
“No, not really. Each time I tried before she had her surgery, she shut me down. But she has her first post-op visit in a few days, and her doctor’s going to give us a better idea of when she’ll begin the injections and the timeline for her egg retrieval.
They want to try to get it done as soon as possible so she can start chemotherapy. ”
Carson blows out a breath on the other end of the phone.
“I may not know much about the medical side of things, but here’s what I do know: there is no better teammate than you.
When the guys are feeling down, you lift their spirits with your humor and lighthearted personality.
I know it’s probably hard as hell to be uplifting when you feel like you’re drowning in the unknowns, but there’s no one better than you to be by Taevin’s side through all of this. ”
“I still love her, Carse,” I admit, surprising myself when the words leave me.
“You and I both know you’ve never stopped loving that girl from the moment you laid eyes on her.”
“I’m terrified I’m going to lose her again,” I choke out.
“She’s prepared to fight, Jax. You just have to make sure she knows she’s not going to war alone.”
He’s right.
This battle may be hers, but I’ll be damned if she fights it alone.