Chapter 19 - Jackson
Then
I’m not sure how she managed to do it, but Taevin convinced her dad to let her come to the Wilder family cabin with us for the Fourth of July.
We’re headed up a few hours later than Carson, McKenna, Katie, and Griffin because I just got in late last night from Dallas, where I spent the past three days for the NHL draft.
We’re riding with Bennett, but I’m picking her up from her house by myself first so I can get a few minutes alone with her.
Especially because I just got the call from Wolverines management that the prospects development camp will take place on Monday after the Fourth, so we’ve only got a few days together before I’ll be busy and staying away for another three.
When I pull up to her house, I kill the engine and round my truck, holding my arms wide open just as Taevin jumps into them.
“Minnesota. Can you believe it, baby?” I ask, picking her up and spinning her in my arms.
She squeals with joy and I stop spinning to rock her back and forth in my arms. “I saw! I’m so proud of you, J. So beyond proud of you.” Taevin grabs my face in her hands and peppers a few kisses on my lips and cheeks.
“We’ll be able to come back home after college once I sign with the Wolverines.
The two of us can live out all of our dreams right here just like we’ve talked about.
” I don’t think I’m imagining the look of apprehension on her face when I set her down, but she quickly schools her expression before I can get a good read on it.
“I’m so excited for you!”
“For us, right?”
“Yeah, it’s almost too good to be true.” She pauses to worry her lip before she says, “I thought you had said that Nashville was really interested in you and New York had put out feelers. Even Boston, but I don’t remember you mentioning Minnesota,” she says and alarms start going off in my head.
“Those teams were all interested, but I didn’t want to tell you that Minnesota was showing interest because I didn’t want to get your hopes up if they didn’t end up drafting me.”
“Is this where you hoped you’d get drafted?” she asks, looking down at her hands.
“I mean, yeah. It’s a dream come true. Not only do I get to potentially play for my home state, but I also have the chance to play professionally alongside my brother. Do you know how rare it is for two brothers to be in the NHL, let alone on the same team?”
“I do. I guess that’s why I hadn’t even considered Minnesota as an option.”
I won’t lie. I can’t get a read on how she’s feeling and it’s scaring the hell out of me.
Taking her hand in mine, I walk her up the steps and sit on the front porch swing, patting the cushion next to me for her to take a seat. Once she does, I ask, “What is it about the draft results that worries you?”
She pulls my hands into her lap, turns them over, and begins drawing lines on my palms. “There are still so many factors up in the air, and I’m worried about what that means for our future.”
“The only questionable things are where we’ll end up and when. As far as I’m concerned, there’s no question in my mind when it comes to you and me that you’re my future. At least, that’s how it is for me. Do you feel differently?” I ask, panic evident in my voice at this point.
“What? No. No, of course not!” she assures me, squeezing my hands in hers.
“Then why are you worried?” I ask, mindlessly running my thumbs over the backs of her hands.
“I’m terrified that we’ll wind up another high school sweetheart cliché,” she admits, avoiding eye contact with me.
“What?” I question, ducking to meet her eyes.
She still won’t look at me, and I’m beyond terrified at how this has taken a turn.
“That we’ll go away to college, try to make things work, and it’ll probably work until you get signed or something else happens that could pull us apart.
I mean, in your scenario, things have to work out perfectly as far as timing goes.
What happens if you sign mid-way through your collegiate career and I’m still in school? ”
I freeze my hands in place. “Then we’ll make it work long distance, Taevin. Do you not want this to work?”
“Of course I do, Jackson. How could you even ask that?”
“Then don’t give up on us before we’ve even got any hurdles to overcome.”
“I’m not! I think I’m justified in being worried about what our future has in store for us. Not to mention, look at all the attention you get from girls now—won’t that only amplify when you’re at the collegiate level?”
I scoff because, no, that one doesn’t feel justifiable at all.
I’ve never given her any reason to doubt my faithfulness.
“I don’t know, but that is a non-issue for me.
You know you’re all I see. I’m crazy about you, baby.
This isn’t some high school fling for me.
You are my entire future. I’d quit hockey tomorrow if it was what stood in the way of our future. ”
Tae shakes her head vehemently. “No. You promised you wouldn’t let me become a distraction.”
“Then tell me what I can do to make you feel secure in our relationship. You’re scaring the hell out of me, Tae.”
“I need to know that our entire future won’t only be about your goals and aspirations, but that I have a say in our future too. What happens if I can’t pursue a career in music while living in Minnesota?”
“Then I’ll request a trade to wherever you want to go as soon as my rookie contract is up.”
“It’s not that simple—you and I both know that.”
“Then I’d quit,” I say simply and without hesitation.
“I can’t ask you to do that. I won’t let you do that.”
Shifting, I turn so I’m fully facing her. “Then we’ll make it work long distance for as long as we need to in order for us both to live out our dreams, T. I’m committed to making this work.”
She silently stares into my eyes for so long I fear she doesn’t believe me. She has to know how serious I am.
Finally, she breaks the silence. “We’ll make this work.
I’m committed wholeheartedly to not only making it work between us, but also putting our dreams and our futures first. I promise I’ll never make you feel like you have to choose between me and hockey ever again—that wasn’t my intention, by the way.
I’ve just never imagined I’d stay here after high school. ”
My brows furrow in confusion. What does she mean by that? “Like living with your dad?”
“No, in Minnesota. Every time I imagined what my future would look like, it always played out with me living in a big city like New York City, LA, or Nashville. Before I met you, I swore I’d leave home and never look back.
I mean, sure, I’d still come back to visit my dad; but I didn’t see myself living in Minnesota beyond high school.
It’ll just take time for me to wrap my head around that possibility,” she explains, gripping my hand in hers like she’s scared to let go.
“Tae—” I start, but pause to consider what I want to say.
Truth is, I’m at a loss for words. What does that mean for us?
I don’t want to make her feel like she has to live somewhere she was deadset on leaving just to make me happy and support my dreams. But I’d also rather not live long distance from her for longer than I have to.
Depending on if and when I sign with Minnesota, I could spend one to three seasons playing for them.
Selfishly, I’d love to stay at Harvard for as many seasons as I can just so I can stay closer to Tae; which is the exact opposite of how any other eighteen-year-old in my shoes would feel.
Before I can voice my jumbled thoughts, Taevin cups my face in her hands, rubbing her thumbs up and down my cheeks in a soothing motion.
“We don’t have to figure everything out right now.
I’m so sorry I even mentioned this, I just got in my head.
Let’s get to the cabin so we can properly celebrate the fact that you were just drafted!
I’m so proud of you, J.” Tae’s eyes shine with adoration, and without a moment’s pause, I pull her into my arms and silently vow to do whatever it takes to help the woman I love achieve her wildest dreams.
With my arm slung over her shoulders, I turn and nuzzle my face against hers, placing a quick kiss on her cheek before leaning in and murmuring, “I can’t wait to get you alone, Thorn. My plans for the evening consist of kissing every inch of your skin.”
I pull back just in time to see Taevin’s eyes widen right before she elbows me in the ribs. Her gaze remains fixed on the front of the truck where Bennett sits in the driver’s seat.
Turning back to her, I tell her in a hushed tone, “Don’t worry, Benny didn’t hear.”
She turns and cups my ear before quietly saying, “If he does hear you, plan on rooming with him instead of me this weekend.”
I play along and cup her ear back. “Better make sure you moan into the pillow then, baby.”
Her breathing turns rapid at that, and fuck if it doesn’t turn me on.
Turning her chin so she’s facing me, I gaze into her deep brown eyes before bringing her in for a kiss that’s far from indecent, but when I pull back and turn forward, I connect eyes with Bennett in the rearview mirror and he just shakes his head.
“Why the fuck did I agree to let you ride up with me again?” Bennett grumbles after he aggressively presses the mute button on his radio.
I smile, welcoming his grumpiness at this point. “No clue. I just assumed you wanted to spend more quality time with your little bro.”
“Yeah, that’s definitely the reasoning,” he deadpans.
“You wanted me to have more time to spend holding hands with Tae?” I guess, waggling my brows at my brother in the rearview mirror.
He guffaws at my remark. “You’re such an annoying little shit sometimes.”
I shrug off his dig. “Yeah, but you’ve missed me while you were out on the road playing all season. Just admit it,” I taunt, batting my eyelashes exaggeratedly just to piss him off.