Chapter 22 - Jackson #2
Subtly is not his strong suit either it appears. I wonder if becoming Carson’s brother-in-law did that to him, or if he’s always been that way and I hadn’t noticed until now.
“Real smooth,” Kenna murmurs to him, rolling her eyes for good measure.
“Anyways,” Kenna starts, sidling up on the stool next to where I’m sitting at the kitchen island. “How’s Taevin feeling after yesterday? I guess I wasn’t surprised to hear she wasn’t feeling well and wanted to go home. She is only a few weeks post-op, after all.”
“She’s feeling okay. Well, I hope she is,” I answer.
“Wait. Why were you at the bar last night? You’ve hardly left her side since Bennett’s wedding,” Griff points out.
Thanks, wiseass.
“We, uh, got into a bit of an arg—” I pause, looking into my mug as I consider my words.
“Actually, you know what? It doesn’t matter.
I shouldn’t have been at that bar last night.
I should’ve been home with my wife instead of running away from my problems.” Lifting my head to meet Griff’s gaze, I ask, “G, can you bring me home, please?”
“Yeah, man. Of course.”
“How bad did you leave things? Is it a bring spontaneous flowers home kind of situation?” Kenna questions.
“I’m pretty sure she’d throw the roses back at me, thorns and all, praying I get cut,” I admit.
“If she’s a chocolate lover, you won’t go wrong there. Just don’t come home empty-handed after walking out,” Griff suggests.
“Smart man,” Kenna tells him just as the front door opens and Cadence comes running in with Kenna’s parents behind her, her mom holding Rowen while her dad gets tugged in by the leash on their new Golden Retriever puppy, Minnie.
I miss the hell out of Ranger, he was the greatest dog growing up.
But I’m happy they decided to get a puppy for Cadence and Rowen’s sake.
Seeing Cadence again after hearing how Taevin felt about meeting her for the first time yesterday has my heart cracking clear down the center. Tae kept calling our baby him. I’m not even sure how far along she was when she miscarried.
Because I’m an ass and didn’t stick around long enough to ask.
Tae said he would’ve been the same age as Cadence. Nine. He or she would’ve been nine.
Would our baby have been tall like me or take on their mama’s shorter stature?
Pain akin to a thousand papercuts slices through me as I think of all the questions that will remain unanswered.
And then I ask myself what the fuck I’m still doing here right now. I need to get home to her.
Almost as if reading my thoughts, Griff says, “Let me grab a shirt and my keys then I’ll take you to your truck.” He heads up the steps to their room without another question.
I make my way across the kitchen and wrap Kenna in a hug. “Thanks for taking care of me last night, M&M. Sorry I interrupted your big date night, and I’m even more sorry for ever doubting your faithfulness to Griff.”
“I’m oddly okay with it—I know you were just looking out for him,” she replies, a sleepy happiness present in her voice.
“Yeah, but you were my friend first.”
“You’re dang right. Try not to forget that next time you think I’m up to no good.”
“Will do,” I say, pausing just as I’m about to turn toward the front door. “Oh, and Kenna?”
“Yeah?”
“Congratulations,” I tell her without elaborating as to what I’m congratulating her on.
Her face softens as a shy smile eclipses her face. “Thanks, J.”
“And thank you for inviting Taevin to be a part of your book club yesterday. She told me you text her on our way home from the cookout. I’m sorry we had to leave early.”
“Absolutely! I hope she’ll take us up on it. It’s nothing official, more so just an excuse for us ladies to get together.”
“I’m sure she’ll join if she’s able,” I assure her.
“Give her a hug from me when you get home, okay? She looked like she could use one yesterday just before she left.”
Guilt weighs heavy in my gut as the repercussions of my actions sink in.
She looked like she needed a hug when she left the cookout yesterday, and that was before she shared one of the hardest things that’s ever happened to her with me.
And then I left.
I was a fucking coward and I left the only woman I’ve ever loved to grieve and process on her own. She said seeing Cadence yesterday triggered her, just like it did for me just now.
I need to get home to her.
In Griff’s Jeep, I do my best to avoid looking at him when I ask, “Can I ask you something kind of personal?”
“I mean you can ask, but I’m not sure I’ll answer.”
“Fair enough. Uh, I remember when you and Kenna were trying to get pregnant with Rowen that you opened up to me about it being more of a struggle.”
“I did,” he confirms.
Clearing my throat, I will myself to just go for it and ask him. “If you don’t mind me asking, how did you manage to put aside your own fears and concerns to be there for her?”
When the vehicle rolls to a stop next to my truck in the bar’s parking lot, Griff puts it in park before looking over at me. “Where’s this coming from?” he asks.
“Uh, well,” I start and my voice cracks. “Last night Taevin told me she miscarried our baby my freshman year. She said he would’ve been Cadence’s age.”
“Shit, J. I’m so sorry.”
I manage to take a deep breath, keeping my tears at bay. “Yeah, last night, uh, was the first time I heard about any of it. And I just . . . walked out on her,” I confess on a choked sob.
Griff grasps my shoulder firmly in his hand. “J, look at me.”
With reluctance, I fix my blurry gaze on him, concern etched across his features.
“It’s never too late to fix things with the one you love.
After Katie died, I walked out on the love of my life and missed two years of my daughter’s life because of the chokehold grief held on me.
Yes, you left last night. But I don’t think Taevin will fault you for needing time to process the news of her miscarriage.
You just found out you lost a baby ten years ago who you had no idea existed until last night.
Go home to her. Apologize. Promise you’ll show up and be there for her just like you have been, and then be a man of your word.
You’re one of the best people in mine and my family’s lives, Jackson. ”
I swipe my knuckle beneath my eyes, catching tears before they fall.
“Let me ask you this. Does hearing the news you were told last night change the way you feel about her?” he asks.
I whip my head to look at him. “No. Never.”
“Good. Then go home and tell your wife you still love her and you’re never letting her go.”
“How—” I start to ask but he cuts me off with a deep rumble of laughter.
“You’re an open book, J. You always have been.
The moment I saw you with her in your kitchen at your graduation party ten years ago, I knew you loved her and she had changed you forever.
And, if how inseparable the two of you were that summer wasn’t enough, the way you clung to her last night was a dead giveaway. You love her, man.”
“I do,” I admit.
“And have you told her that since she came back into your life?”
“No,” I tell him, hanging my head.
“If you can sit here and admit to me you’re still in love with her, then get home and do the same to her.”
I bring Griff in for a hug. “Thank you, G. It means a lot.”
“You don’t need to thank me, J. You’ve been an unwavering support for me and my family for years. Showing up for you in any way I can is the least I can do. Love you, man.”
“Love you too, buddy,” I tell him as I get out of his Jeep and into my truck to haul ass back to my wife.