Chapter - 5
ELOISE
“Still nothing?” Courtney asked as we walked towards the gym doors.
“Nope. Not a word.” I smiled at my friend, glad to see that my tried-and-true denial approach to the Logan clusterfuck seemed to be working so far.
Courtney rolled her eyes. “I’m still going to find a way to leave you two alone together, in case he wants to take the opportunity to talk to you one-on-one.” I rolled my eyes back at her.
“I doubt he will. Neither of us has said anything since yesterday. I doubt he’d want to turn me down when I randomly show up at the gym with you.” I had decided to go with Courtney to the gym and face Logan simply because my mother pissed me off again. She had told me about the yoga class that Lucy had mentioned before and wanted me to go. Actually, she didn’t even ask if I wanted to go. She just raved about it, sent me the details, and nothing else. As if she expected me to attend.
Not a mention about me moving out.
I was still mad about her rude comments regarding Courtney and thought that a fun way to give my mother the finger would be to gain some muscle mass myself.
So here I was.
Ready for Courtney to teach me her ways, which were really ways that she had learned from Logan.
I was still completely humiliated by the thought of facing him again, but if I was going to pretend that none of my mess-ups had happened, I needed to be okay with being in his presence. That’s what I told myself, anyway.
…And maybe a teeny-tiny part of me wanted to experience what it would be like to be rejected by Logan St. James. I was curious if he would be an asshole about it, which seemed likely to me. Or, if he would try to pull some sort of “It’s not you, it’s me” cliché.
Courtney shouldered the door open and scanned her pass at the front desk, smiling at the kid working there. The guy did an obvious perusal of Courtney, and I made direct eye contact with him until she passed, letting him know I saw him.
The tips of his ears turned a little red, and then he cleared his throat and turned back to his computer screen.
“So, what are you going to do today?” I asked her.
“It’s arms and shoulders day, I think,” Courtney replied, her dark eyes scanning the gym until she spotted whom she was looking for and sauntered on. It was a smaller gym, and only a handful of people were there exercising. Courtney and I were the only women at the moment.
“Hey!” Courtney walked ahead of me and waved, and I stepped to the side to confirm who I suspected she was talking to.
Logan was just racking the bar he was lifting and then sat up on his bench. He gave a quick head nod in Courtney’s direction before he hesitated the slightest bit when his eyes slid over and noticed me. It was a subtle movement, but I caught it. I also saw how quickly he dismissed my appearance and bent down to grab a towel to wipe all over his face and neck. He was already working up a sweat.
Then I noticed the number of circle-weight things on either end of his bar, and I realized that that checked out.
“Getting a head start?” Courtney asked as she reached her fist out for him to bump. He returned the gesture with a nod. No smile, just a nod. That was the Logan way. The only time his facial expressions really changed from his bored ones, was when he was signing because facial expressions were integrated with ASL.
“Lo decided to join us today,” Courtney threw a thumb over her shoulder to address me, clearly having missed his hesitation when he noticed me earlier, “So we gotta show her the ropes.”
“Show me the ropes?” I asked, setting my purse down as I pretended to check my phone. I had no notifications; I just didn’t want to make eye contact with Logan. I felt like my racing heart and the heat I suddenly felt in my cheeks was embarrassing enough. Though I could blame the temperature it was inside the gym.
“How many pull-ups can you do?” Courtney asked as she walked around towards the head of Logan’s bench and nodded for him to continue his set. He also avoided looking at me as he leaned back and gripped the bar with his hands. Watching him pull the bar down towards his chest and push it away distracted me for a moment before I remembered to respond to Courtney’s question.
“I don’t know, a couple?” I asked, watching how Logan’s legs flexed even though his feet stayed flat on the ground on either side of the bench. He was wearing some type of black compression shorts that fell to his mid-thigh, showing off the many muscles in his legs. He then wore shorter, looser shorts over the top of them. I assumed they were for modesty, because there was no way his compression shorts underneath concealed anything.
“We like to do sets of ten, if possible,” Courtney spoke, barely distracting me from ogling Logan’s body as he breathed through his nose with every push of the bar, “So we can show you how to use the little rubber band things to help get familiar with the movement of a pull-up.”
I wasn’t a huge fan of how she just assumed I couldn’t do a single pull-up, but I also wasn’t going to correct her because I truly didn’t know what my arm strength was. I wasn’t used to exercising with weights, push-ups, and pull-ups ever. My exercises were usually yoga, aerobics…and occasional bedroom gymnastics.
“Sounds good,” I said, my eyes trailing higher on Logan’s body, where it reclined on the bench. He wore a black men”s tank top that hugged his pecs, showing the muscles flexing as he finished off his set. I was eyeballing his biceps and forearms as he racked the bar again, and when he sat up his dark eyes met mine briefly.
Briefly, because I broke our eye contact and glanced down at my phone. Clearing my throat for literally no reason.
God, he was so nice to look at.
I tossed the phone in my bag as Courtney and Logan made their way a few feet over from the bench Logan had claimed. They approached what looked like the world’s most boring jungle gym. Various bars leveled at different heights as Courtney skipped over to one of the tallest ones, jumped up, and started swiftly doing a couple of pull-ups. Logan shook his head at her, tugged on her ponytail in jest, and bent down to retrieve what must have been the rubber band things Courtney mentioned earlier.
“Have you used these before?” Courtney asked after hopping down gracefully and pointing at the bands in Logan’s hands. He walked over to me, and it took every muscle in my neck and face not to glance up and meet his eyes as he handed me one. I took it without question, even though I shook my head to respond to Courtney.
“You use this to help pull yourself up,” Courtney explained as she tugged my band out of my hands and started securing it on one of the medium-level height monkey bars.
“Oh, so my feet rest on it?” I asked, starting to piece together what she was doing. I had been to gyms before, so I had seen other people do pull-ups like this.
“Exactly—” Suddenly, the band snapped in half as Courtney secured it to the pole. It cracked loudly, making both of us flinch. Courtney blinked at the broken band once before shrugging and tossing it aside.
“These are pretty old,” Courtney explained, “I’ll give it to the guy at the front when we’re done.”
“Okay.”
Logan waved his hand, catching Courtney’s peripheral vision, and started signing to her. His hands moved quickly, and my basic understanding of ASL couldn’t keep up with him. Ugh. Irritation started to fill me again.
Courtney nodded at him and didn’t say anything.
Okay, I guessed whatever he said was private, then.
“Okay, this one should work. There’s only one left, so let’s leave that for someone else.” Courtney wiggled her eyebrows at Logan and me. “Plus, I can finally do pull-ups without the assistance.”
Logan’s lips tipped up the smallest bit at her before he shook his head and motioned for the two of us to claim our spots. He, of course, went for the highest monkey bar on the other side of Courtney.
I took the one with the rubber band, grabbing the monkey bar with my hands before I stepped onto it. I bounced on it a little, checking to see if it would snap in half like the first one. Nope. I then started to pull myself up, surprised at how fast I was able to do that.
“I’m not sure I need this,” I spoke after a few pulls, “This feels too easy.”
“The first couple reps should feel easy,” Courtney explained. “It’s when you get to the last half of them that you should feel some strain in your muscles.”
“Oh.” I nodded, continuing with the pull-up.
“Wait, Lo, what are you doing?” Courtney asked, a giggle escaping her lips as she eyeballed my hands on the bar.
“A pull-up?” I asked, eyeballing my own hands now because I didn’t trust myself.
“Why are your hands like that?” Courtney smiled a little as she lifted a blonde eyebrow at me.
“Like what?”
“Backwards.”
“This is backward?”
“Well, no, it’s just significantly harder to do a pull-up that way.”
“Hmm, well maybe I’m just great at pull-ups.”
“Really? Do one like that without the rubber band.”
I crossed my eyes at Courtney, making her laugh as I hopped down and untied the rubber band. I felt eyes on me and allowed myself one single quick glance at Logan as he stopped his pull-ups to watch me bend down and remove the assistance.
I then reached up on my tip toes and grabbed the bar like I had before, the back of my hands facing me as I tried to lift myself up.
My body stayed put.
Holy hell I was heavy.
“Give me a moment, I just gotta warm up first,” I grunted, relaxing my muscles, and shaking my hands out. Courtney laughed.
“Of course.” Her voice was dripping with sarcasm.
I closed my eyes and tried again, my toes still not leaving the ground as a grumble escaped my throat at my failure.
“I thought you were great at pull-ups?” Courtney asked. I kept my eyes closed but smiled, shaking my head at her. Suddenly, I felt a warm presence behind me right when I relaxed and the heels of my feet touched the ground again.
Two large, rough hands grabbed my wrists. My eyes flew open to see Logan standing directly behind me, his hands twisting my wrists around so that I was holding the bar like Courtney was. The back of my hands facing away from me.
He eyeballed me in the mirror we were doing pull-ups in front of.
We never stood this close to each other before.
Well, with the exception of Courtney and Josh’s engagement party.
However, this was the first time I truly got a visual representation of our size differences. He was both taller and wider than me. I was stunned. I knew I wasn’t the largest woman in the world, but I felt like a child compared to him. His chin would brush against the top of my head if he leaned forward instead of to the side of me. His tanned skin was a large contrast to see against my paler complexion. The blush on my face and neck that resulted from his close proximity completely gave me away.
I was affected by how close he was, which was only slightly humiliating considering he was already convinced that I wanted to ride his dick.
His dark eyes scanned my face for only a couple of seconds before the jut of his chin told me to try again. So I did. This time, my body lifted off the ground just a little bit more. My toes only left the ground for a second before my arms shook and I landed on the ground again.
“Fuck me,” I breathed, surprised at how little strength my arms had. I felt Logan stiffen behind me, his dark eyebrows inching up the slightest bit based on what I saw in the reflection of the mirror before he jutted his chin forward for me to try again.
“Bossy,” I grumbled, squeezing my eyes shut as I inhaled and pulled.
Large warm hands wrapping themselves around my waist startled me. It wasn’t a firm grip, it felt more like Logan’s hands ghosted across my skin as he gently helped me get some more air under my feet with this pull.
“There ya go!” I heard Courtney cheer as I finally completed one single pull-up.
I ignored her and went for another one, Logan’s hands staying in place on my bare skin as he helped guide my movements. I was only wearing a black sports bra and exercise shorts because even though I planned to get sweaty and gross this afternoon, I also wanted to look cute. I loved matching sets, and this one showed my ribcage tattoo as well as the tattoo I had on my hip, the top and bottom of the flowers on my skin playing peekaboo out of my bike shorts. I opened my eyes again, wanting to see how I looked exercising like a fucking badass. I could feel every muscle in my forearms, biceps, and shoulders working.
As soon as I lifted myself again, my arms folding as my chin made it over the bar, I noticed Logan’s eyes drop from the back of my head to what was almost eye level with him.
My ass.
I gasped, and accidentally let go of the bar to my surprise.
“Whoa!” Courtney called as I fell, Logan’s grip on my waist tightened enough to hold me up until I regained my footing on the ground, “Are you okay?”
“Yup!” I replied a little too loudly, stepping out of Logan’s hands and shaking my arms out as if I didn’t just catch him staring at my ass. “I think my arms just gave out. I must be more out of shape than I expected.” My voice was only a little shaky, but thankfully I could excuse that with the pull-ups I had just done.
“You did great, Lo!” Courtney finished her last set and dropped to the ground, picking up her water bottle and shaking it to find it empty. She frowned before she looked behind her to where a water fountain was on the far wall near the bathrooms.
“How is your water bottle already empty? We just got here.” I asked her, skepticism on my face. Courtney shrugged.
“I must have forgotten to fill it before we left,” she glanced between Logan and me, “I’m going to go pee and then fill it up. Be right back.” She then turned on her heel and took off, her blonde ponytail swishing with her movement. I widened my eyes in panic at her retreating form, because I didn’t want to be left alone with Logan. I was still recovering from how warm his hands were on me. How my heart jumped up into my throat when I felt his gaze move to my ass.
I didn’t want to be rejected by him now when my body was still physically recovering from that experience.
I turned away from him and pulled my phone out of my bag. I had zero notifications, but I unlocked the screen anyway and pulled up my email as if I had something to read. I could feel his eyes on me, and I thought I could literally feel my heart slowly climbing up into my throat.
“Did you do your set?” I asked, a little louder than normal. I gave up on pretending to read emails. I was feeling weirdly jittery about having to deal with being rejected by Logan, even though I didn’t even intentionally hit on him in the first place.
I glanced up to see Logan nod, his eyes slightly narrowed as he eyeballed the phone I had just tossed back into my bag.
Fuck, I was acting so weird.
“Okay…” I rocked back on my heels, my arms crossing over my chest as if to protect myself from his gaze. “What’s next?” Logan blinked at me once before he nodded toward some weights behind me. I smiled and nodded too, walking over to the rack to find the smallest ones.
“What do we do?” I asked, lifting two fives in each of my hands. Logan stared at me before he lifted his hands, signing something too quick for me to catch and pointing his thumb over his shoulder where Courtney ran off to.
“What was that?” I asked, dropping my hands to my sides that still gripped the weights. Logan redid Courtney’s name sign for me a little slower, and then fingerspelled, FOMO.
“Oh, yeah she would want us to properly wait for her,” I agreed, twisting my wrists in and out a little bit more as I continued to avoid eye contact with Logan. I nibbled on my bottom lip, looking everywhere but at him. I understood that it was kind of a dick move because he couldn’t speak up to get my attention. He required people to look at him in order to communicate, but I was also a huge chicken.
Finally, Logan stepped into my line of sight. I blinked up at him while he frowned at the weights in my hands and reached towards the rack to get a set of tens. He then held them out to me, telling me to size up my weights.
“I thought we established I had no arm strength?” I asked, even as I put the fives back and took the tens from his hands. Before I could pull my arm all the way back, Logan’s hand gripped my wrist and he held my arm up a little higher. I had to gulp what felt like my heart back down my throat before I realized he was just using his grip to look at my newest tattoo.
Is it hot in here?
“If you’re judging me for another basic bouquet of flowers, Taylor already beat you to it.” I piped up, feeling defensive as he inspected my latest artwork as if it needed his stamp of approval. Logan’s dark gaze flicked over to mine as his lips twitched at the corners, and I felt my cheeks heat again.
He noticed, his eyes barely bouncing between either side of my nose.
My body was such a traitor. Didn’t it know we didn’t like him? That he was mean to us for literally no reason?
I was screwed. There was no chance I could act normal around him now.
I was torn between begging him to reject my solicitations from my voice messages already or turning on my heel and running away. I had already run away from him once in this gym, the first time we met. So I wasn’t ready to do that again. It would be just as embarrassing.