Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
THE MERRIER
JULIANA
Erin texts in our girls’ thread late the next afternoon.
Erin
Girls’ night? I didn’t get my fix at the broomball game.
I’m halfway through wiping down the countertop at The Kitty-Corner when I read it, and I can practically hear her voice in my head—dramatic, whiny, and always amused. Goldie’s perched on a stool at the counter, hair in a messy bun, sipping a hot cocoa.
“Girls’ night, huh?” She waves her phone.
“Sounds good to me,” I say.
“It’s perfect timing,” she says, snapping her fingers. “Oh wait, can Ava come? We were supposed to hang out together tonight.”
She texts the question to Erin too.
“Of course,” I say before Erin can even weigh in. A second later my phone dings.
Erin
The more the merrier. Does this mean I have to be on my best behavior, though?
Goldie and I laugh.
Goldie
I think she’s been around you enough by now to know your vibe.
Goldie and I wait for a minute, expecting a retort from Erin, but it doesn’t come right away, and when she texts again, it isn’t what we’re expecting.
Erin
Should we go to The Hungry Walleye? Break tradition and show Ava something a little nicer than The Loon?
Goldie
But The Loon is our headquarters. It’s where we go. And besides, Ava has already been to both places by now. It’s not like there is a plethora of choices in Windy Harbor.
Erin
Will she think we’re not cultured if we go to The Loon?
Since when do you care what anyone thinks?
Again, she’s quiet.
And then finally…
Erin
Okay, The Loon at 6.
Lorraine sees us walk in and waves like she’s been expecting us all along. “Booth in the back!” she shouts, already scooping up menus. The place smells like beer and burgers, and maybe a whiff of the Tater Tot hotdish, which is exactly what I need after a long day at the cafe.
By the time we’ve squeezed into the booth—me and Erin on one side, Goldie and Ava on the other—Lorraine has set down four helpings of Tater Tot hotdish like she’s reading our minds.
“You girls’ll need more energy for all the gossip,” she says, tossing a wink before disappearing again.
“Did you guys even look at the menu?” Ava asks, amused.
“We stopped pretending to a while ago,” Erin says, forking into her hotdish like she hasn’t eaten in weeks. “She sees us, she brings out the tots. It’s a beautiful thing.”
Goldie smirks. “Remember the time she tried to bring us a salad?”
“Oh my God,” I groan. “You would’ve thought she was betraying us personally, according to that one.” I point at Erin.
“Because she was,” Erin says solemnly. “If I wanted greens, I’d stay home and eat the sad bagged spinach in my fridge.”
That makes Ava laugh hard, and Erin’s cheeks tinge pink.
Interesting.
Percy is the only one I’ve ever seen make Erin blush, but she also is rendered speechless whenever Percy is around. I’m not sure that’s a winning combo, when it comes right down to it.
“The only exception is a Lorraine Juicy Lucy,” I tell Ava. “And I shouldn’t even say exception because we never leave out the hotdish…it’s just something in addition.”
“Got it.” Ava laughs. “I haven’t been in Windy Harbor anywhere close to the rest of you, so I need all the tips.”
After a few minutes of chatter about Goldie’s ongoing battle with tile samples at Windhaven, and laughing about Jackson still bragging about how he did at broomball, Erin wipes her mouth with her napkin and leans in, eyes sharp.
“Okay. Now that we’re fed and the hotdish-induced coma hasn’t hit yet, let’s get to it,” she says.
“Get to what?” I ask when I realize she’s looking at me.
She raises her eyebrows. “You know what. I tried to start this the other night after broomball, but with all the nosy brothers around, I couldn’t get a word in.
Now there’s not a single brother in sight.
” She points a loaded fork at me. “Something was sizzling between you and Camden the other night. Don’t even try to deny it. ”
Goldie sets her fork down slowly. “You know,” she says, smirking, “I didn’t get any of the I’m going to claw his eyes out vibes either. Now that you mention it, it almost seemed like”—her grin spreads wickedly—“you guys were flirting.”
I nearly choke on my Coke. “We were not—”
“You were totally flirting,” Erin says. “I could feel it radiating off the rink. I had to shield my eyes.”
“It was…competitive energy,” I say, desperate. “You know, like trash talk. Banter. Sports psychology.”
Ava tilts her head, studying me. “Sports psychology?”
“Yes,” I insist. “Like…keeping him off-balance.”
Goldie bursts out laughing. “I got the feeling you would’ve liked it if you’d caught him off-balance, right on top of you.”
All three of them cackle like wicked witches.
I bury my face in my hands, but my ears are burning. They don’t let up.
Erin leans closer, her red lipstick still perfect despite the hotdish, and says, “So what’s really going on? Because there’s definitely something.”
My heart thuds. I could lie. I could deflect. But these are my best girls, and I would hate to lie to them. It’s been hard enough to keep it a secret this long.
“Things have…been changing. A little,” I blurt out.
The table erupts. Goldie squeals. Erin slaps the table like she’s just won a prize. Ava’s eyes widen with delight.
“Changing?” Erin repeats. “As in…”
“As in, we’re not fighting as much anymore,” I say quickly, downplaying everything. “Sometimes he actually…makes me laugh. Sometimes it feels…” I trail off, realizing I’ve said too much.
“Like you’re into each other,” Goldie says, practically glowing.
“Like sparks,” Erin supplies helpfully. “Literal sparks, Juju.”
Ava grins, chin propped on her hand. “I even saw it.”
“I don’t know about sparks,” I groan, starting to second-guess saying anything.
“Girl, you are in denial,” Erin says.
“I’m just…being realistic. He hasn’t said anything about what this is, and if he wants to keep it a secret, how into me can he really be?”
That hushes them for a second.
Erin sobers, eyes narrowing. “Wait. Secret? What do you mean?”
I shrug, fiddling with my napkin. “He doesn’t want Jackson to know. Or maybe anyone, I don’t know. He hasn’t exactly spelled it out. And if he’s not willing to admit it to anyone, then maybe it’s not worth as much as it feels like.”
Goldie leans across the table, earnest now.
“Juju. My brother is an idiot. He overthinks everything. If Camden’s keeping it quiet, it’s not because he doesn’t care.
It’s because he cares too much and he’s scared he’ll screw it up.
They were ridiculous with that whole off-limits thing.
Camden’s probably scared of what Jackson will do to him if he finds out. ”
“Camden could take Jackson…easy,” I mutter.
Goldie laughs. “True, but despite the way the two of you have bickered for years, he’s a lover, not a fighter.”
Erin points at me. “Exactly. He looked at you like you’d hung the moon at broomball. That is not a lukewarm man. You need to pin that man to the wall like you do your favorite recipes.” She points at me. “Knead him until he rises.”
She tips her head and lifts her eyebrows, eyes laser-focused on me.
The table falls apart laughing.
“She’s not wrong!” Ava says.
I press my lips together, trying to rein in my smile and this giddiness taking over…
trying not to let their words burrow under my skin.
Because I want to believe them. I want to replay every kiss over and over, the way his hand steadied me, the way he looked at me.
He’s so intense, and normally, I’d think he does nothing halfway, but this––keeping us a secret––it feels halfway.
So the part of me that’s learned not to expect too much wins out.
“Well,” I say, lifting my fork again, “until he decides to prove it, I’m not going to hang my hopes on secret sparks.”
The girls exchange knowing looks. I stab a bite of hotdish with more force than necessary.
Erin grins slyly. “Denial,” she singsongs.
Goldie echoes, “Big fat denial.”
Even Ava joins in, her voice soft but amused. “Denial with a side of Tater Tot.”
I throw my napkin at them, but my heart’s not in it.
Goldie’s phone buzzes, and she gives us an apologetic look.
“Sorry, I thought I’d turned my sound off.” When she looks closer, she giggles. “Look.”
She holds up a text from her dad.
It’s a picture of Camden and Kevin. Camden is stretched out on the couch, on his side, and the dog is curled up on his hip. Both are sound asleep.
“Dad says he forgot to send this in the group thread this morning,” Goldie says. “I’m gonna heart it and then put my phone away because it’s going to be buzzing for a while after that.”
“Not the only thing buzzing,” Erin says, pointing at me. “Look at that swoony face. Mm-hmm, sparks.”
I put my face in my hands and groan, which just makes them laugh harder.