Chapter 16
She would have gone into the office the following day, a Sunday, but Dev had told her in no uncertain terms to stay away.
“You haven’t taken a day off since you started,” he’d said flatly. “You’ve got a big mission coming up. You need some downtime, Gaby. We need you sharp, and so does Natalie.”
It was a low blow to use her sister. But he was the boss. And he was right, as usual.
Some of it was good. The pleasant kind that came from muscles stretched and used in ways that left her aware of Rhys’s possession, hours afterward.
Some of it wasn’t. Her shoulders were not amused. She rolled them and tilted her head from side to side, testing the stiffness. The position hadn’t been extreme, just unfamiliar.
Her coffee maker was already loaded. Praise be for good habits. She hit the button for the first rejuvenating cup of the morning. While it brewed, she leaned against the counter and scrolled absently through headlines, more out of routine than interest.
Her phone buzzed at the same time a text notification popped up. From Rhys. A small jolt went through her before she tapped the notification.
Rhys: Hydrate. Ibuprofen if you need it.
This was a check-in. The other subs had told her this is what responsible, attentive doms did. She stared at the words longer than necessary. Too long. Another buzz and the screen lit up.
Rhys: Let me know if you feel a physical or emotional letdown.
She’d heard of the emotional and physical crash that could follow a scene, even a good one. Especially a good one.
Was that the restlessness humming under her skin? Or was it whatever this was with him?
Her coffee finished brewing with a hiss and a gurgle. She wrapped both hands around the mug and took a slow sip before typing her return message.
Gaby: I’m fine. No letdown. Thanks for checking in.
Brief and dismissive. He’d get the message.
It wasn’t true, but she didn’t dare say how she really felt, or he’d be on her doorstep. Would he offer an explanation she could work with? Highly doubtful. After the mission, might be too late for her. She’d meant what she said last night. She couldn’t do this anymore.
Gaby snorted a little laugh. Who was she kidding? If he even hinted at being ready to move forward with her, she would be on her knees saying, “Yes, sir.”
Moving to the window, she sipped her coffee, watching sunlight spill across the quiet street below. It was too bright after so little sleep. The world moved with a cheerfulness she envied. She felt unsteady, like her body hadn’t caught up with the end of the roller-coaster ride with Rhys.
She set her mug on the sill and pulled out her phone. Nothing more from Rhys. She turned it over once, twice. Then unlocked it again.
Her thumb hovered over his name.
Don’t torture yourself, a little voice urged.
For once, she listened and scrolled through her contacts until she found Cari.
She answered on the second ring. “I was wondering how long it would take.”
“I need another lunch,” Gaby said, not bothering to dress it up.
There was a pause. Then warmth slipped into Cari’s voice. “You got it, and I’ll call Emily. Quesadillas and margaritas, not iced tea this time, at twelve thirty?”
Gaby exhaled. “Thanks, Cari.”
They met at the same little Mexican place they’d gone to before. They met at the same little Mexican place they’d gone to before. It was their unofficial neutral ground whenever work, emotions, or men got too tangled to sort out on their own.
The girls were waiting to be seated when Gaby arrived. Boone stood nearby like a sentry in civilian clothes. He gave her a nod but said nothing.
“I’d invite him to join us,” Cari said lightly. “But he doesn’t have the right anatomy for girl talk.”
Boone’s mouth twitched. “Tragic.”
When the hostess led them to a table in full view of the lobby, he pointed to a corner table.
“They’ll take that one,” he said, rather than asking. Once they were seated, he took a table for two nearby, back to the wall, full view of the front and back doors, close enough to react but far enough not to hear.
Emily and Cari sat across from Gaby as their waitress passed out menus.
“We’ll start off with a pitcher of margaritas while we decide,” Cari said.
Once the woman moved off, Emily leaned forward. “So. Tell us about the fireworks last night. And I don’t mean the ones over the river we walked out on.”
Gaby sighed. “I’ve had coffee so far today. Can’t we order before the post-mortem?”
Cari grimaced. “You crime fighters use such morbid terms.”
“Never mind that,” Emily insisted. “What happened during your scene with Rhys? Alec talked with him briefly last night. Said he dropped an F-bomb. He uses bloody hell liberally, but I’ve never heard him say that.”
Gaby hadn’t either. This was big. Was it in reaction to her saying she was done?
She hesitated then disclosed everything.
“The scene was amazing. At least for me, but afterward, he shut down. It happened fast, like someone flipped a switch. Then he went professional dominant. Polite, doing everything per protocol, but emotionally locked me out.”
“Ouch!” Cari winced.
Emily frowned. “He still hasn’t given you an idea what this is about?”
Gaby shook her head, sighing again. “The man is like a vault, and it’s beyond frustrating. He says he owes me an explanation but wants to wait until after the mission.”
“Convenient,” Cari snorted. “He gets the best of both worlds—sex and secrets.”
Gaby felt heat creep into her cheeks. “One of those worlds I wouldn’t mind living in.”
“I hear ya, sister,” Cari said with a laugh, a little too loudly.
Boone glanced over, one brow lifting in mild suspicion.
She waved him off. “Nothing dangerous, Boone. Just women oversharing.”
He frowned faintly then went back to scanning the room.
Emily seemed particularly puzzled. “I don’t understand. Rhys isn’t the type to string a woman along. You’re obviously under his skin. But he’s smart and will figure it out.”
Gaby nodded, even though doubt still burned in her chest.
Then Emily’s expression turned fierce. “If he doesn’t,” she added, “friend or not, I’ll kick his ass.”
Cari sized up petite Em, eyes running from head to toe. “All five feet nothing of you? Better bring your stepladder, honey.”
Gaby laughed despite herself.
Emily harrumphed, crossing her arms. “Fine. I’ll have Alec kick his ass. He’s already halfway there. He thinks Rhys is being a stubborn ass.”
“Don’t tell anyone I told you, but Dev’s of the same thought.”
Her dilemma wasn’t solved, but having her friends and two experienced doms in her corner helped ease some of her tension.
“Thanks,” she said quietly. “I needed that.”
Over chicken quesadillas and the full pitcher, they discussed possible strategies. Waiting was quickly nixed. Confronting his stubborn ass, Gaby nixed. Her mission to save her sister would be harder if she pissed Rhys off.
Emily immediately shut down the idea of making him jealous. “I lived that disaster with Alec. Both accidentally and on purpose. It backfired. Spectacularly.”
“But you ended up together, didn’t you?” Cari asked, staring pointedly at the engagement ring on her finger.
“Yes, but it wasn’t exactly easy,” she agreed.
They stood to leave, Boone rising immediately and falling into step a few paces behind them.
Cari paused in front of the bookstore two doors down. “Mind if we pop in? I’ve been meaning to pick up the new release by Tamsin Hale.”
Gaby shrugged. “Lead the way.”
The shop was small but well-stocked, with narrow aisles and the faint smell of paper and coffee.
Cari headed straight for the front display. Emily drifted toward fiction. Gaby wandered until she found herself standing in front of the self-help section. She eyed the glossy covers and earnest subtitles.
“Do you think,” Emily said behind her, “there’s a book that explains why we are how we are?”
Gaby smiled faintly. “Only about five dozen.”
Near the end of the aisle, Emily stopped short. “Well,” she said, reaching for a book and lifting it slightly. “This one’s arresting.”
Gaby glanced over. The cover showed a shadowed platform, a bound figure, a dominant shape standing over it. In the foreground, stark against the darkness, a red recording light burned.
Emily read the title aloud. Under Cover of Leather by Marianne Holt.
“This doesn’t sound like self-help,” she murmured.
“Maybe its misshelved.” Gaby stepped closer, curiosity stirring.
Em flipped the book over and began reading the blurb on the back. “This isn’t fiction,” she said slowly. “It’s an exposé about a woman who went undercover in a BDSM club as a submissive.”
Gaby’s stomach tightened. It sounded too close to home.
“She was a psychologist,” Emily went on, voice thinning.
“She embedded herself with a dominant. Studied him. Slept with him. And then published a memoir slash case study about their dynamic.” Emily looked up, stricken.
“The dom is a psychologist, too. Renowned in his field. She changed his name, but everyone knew it was him. Of course they would. She called him Ryan Landon.”
Gaby’s hand flew to her mouth as the bottom dropped out of her stomach.
“It says, she nearly ruined him.” Emily glanced back down at the flap. “But this isn’t that book. This one is about the scandal that followed, and the toll her unethical investigation took on them both.” Her gaze lifted again, sympathy and disbelief in equal measure. “They use the word brutal.”
She grabbed the book, turned to chapter one, and read the first few lines.
What happens when a researcher obliterates every ethical line? Worse, what happens when her subject, the man she used and slept with, discovers the truth on the bestseller list?
Her stomach threatened to rebel, and she snapped the book shut. It explained so much.
“Aren’t you curious?” Emily asked, watching her closely.
Gaby nodded once, breathing slow and deliberate. After a few cycles, she found her voice. “I’m not going to betray his trust by reading about him.”
She slid the book back into its place on the shelf.
Emily studied her with admiration. “If the book was about Alec, I’m not sure I could resist.”
Gaby didn’t answer right away. She thought of Rhys, his restraint a shield he’d learned to raise long before she met him. Leland’s sage advice echoed in her head, and she repeated his words. “It’s Rhys’s story to tell.”
Emily voiced the question Gaby didn’t dare consider. “What if he never tells it?”
Several heartbeats passed.
“He said he would,” she said finally. “I believe him.”
Emily’s expression softened, though concern lingered in her eyes. “What will you do until then?”
“I don’t know. This changes everything. I guess I’ll just have to wait.” She closed her eyes. Waiting wasn’t her strength, and it felt like she’d been doing it for months.
Cari rejoined them then, book in hand. “Got it.” Her eyes went from Gaby’s pale face to Emily’s watery eyes. “What the hell happened? I was gone five minutes.”
“I’ll fill you in later,” Emily said softly, slipping an arm around Gaby’s shoulders.
Half a foot shorter, it was a stretch for her, but Gaby leaned into it.
“Let’s go. I’d recommend a drink, but we did that after the last crisis.
At the rate you’re going, we’ll have to do a Google search for the nearest AA meeting. ”
Cari looked at her with wide eyes. Em shook her head and mouthed, later.
Gaby glanced at the shelf one last time. Some stories weren’t meant to be told before their time. When Rhys chose to tell his, if the day ever came, she hoped she’d still be around to hear it.