21. Digger
21
DIGGER
I came in here expecting—fuck, I don't know what—when I got to the end of the long driveway. Saw the club truck parked up out front of Sweetie's old house and figured the girls would be in here talking shit.
I sure as hell didn’t expect to find them in the thick of it.
"Jesus Christ," Harvey breathes behind my left shoulder as he enters the boarded-off living room. "What the fuck happened?" He barges past, knocking me in the process, and heads for his sister, who stands frozen over one very dead Sweetie.
I can’t fucking take my eyes off the girl in the corner. The woman with blood soaking her T-shirt, in her hair, running down her face. Fuck—there’s a goddamn trail of it across the floor where Rae’s dragged herself from Sweetie’s prone form.
I don't know what to say. Do I tell her it'll all be okay now? Ask her if she's hurt. Ask her what the fuck happened.
For the first time in my life, I’m struck speechless as the tumult of emotions run riot through my veins, colliding with painful clarity when they intersect at my heart.
I could have lost her. I wasn't here fast enough. Didn't see this coming. Didn't stop it.
Didn’t do the one thing I promised I’d do: keep her safe.
Her head lifts off her knees, arms bound around her legs so that they’re clutched protectively to her chest.
I meet her wary gaze and, motherfucker, if I don’t feel on the verge of tears myself. Swallow it down, you weak fool. Steeling my jaw, I cross the smudged floorboards to where Rae cowers, carefully watching Harvey fuss over his sister.
He shakes Maddie, pleading for her to say something.
Anything.
"You okay?" I drop to my haunches and ease her hair off her face to check her for any sign of serious injury.
“She didn’t have a choice,” Rae whispers. “Don’t be mad at her.”
Fuck… I can’t fucking take any more of this shit. “Baby girl. Ain’t anyone gonna be mad at you for protecting yourself.”
“She’s one of yours, Digger.” Her throat closes on my name, nostrils flaring. “Maddie killed one of your own.”
Hate to have to break it to her this way, but “Ain’t anything new either.”
Hands to her face, I coax her to look at me. To break away from the carnage going down in that goddamned kitchen. “It’s over now. We got you. You hear me?”
Her eyes go wide, and her back straightens as the panic sets in. "We've got to go." Rae tugs from my hold, scrabbling over the sticky floor on all fours to get to Maddie. "We need to get her out of here."
“Why?” I chase after her, unsure how to grab her, how to lift her out of this shit without spooking her further. “What’s the matter?”
“Fox is coming,” she mutters, using Maddie’s rock-solid stance to pull herself to her feet. “Mads, babe. Come on. We still have to run.”
The only response is a hitch in Maddie’s breath.
I locate Jamie hovering near the door, tears in her eyes, a gun hanging lax in her hand. "Call your father, sweetheart. Tell him what's happened. Tell him Fox is en route. And tell him we’re headin’ home.”
“But…”
“Do it!” Feel shit for yelling at the girl, but she wanted in on this life. She needs to stomach it.
Plenty of time to break down later.
“Come on, sis.” Harvey pushes himself under Maddie’s arm, his around her waist. “Take a step, yeah?”
I edge the knife out of her hand. The knife I recognize from the sheath jammed between the seats in the truck.
“You’re gonna have to help her.” I point toward the door. “Get her in the truck and the fuck outta here.”
“What about Rae?” Harvey glances to where she stands to the side, hugging herself while the adrenalin shakes its way out of her body. “You want me to take both of them?”
“I got her.” I jerk my head, urging him the fuck out of here, and then duck down to level my gaze with Rae’s. “You think you can hold on to me, baby?”
She nods, rapid and tight, watching Harvey lift his sister into his arms.
“Good.” Feel a fuck load better getting Rae home myself. Can’t risk letting her out of my sight again. Not yet. “Fuck’s sake.” I brush her damp hair behind one ear so I can see her fucking face better. “Gonna take care of you best I can when we get home, okay? But right now, we gotta move before Fox complicates things.”
Another tight nod.
I press a kiss to her forehead and then slide my hand in hers, intent on leading us out of this hellhole, when she jerks hard on my arm. Her fingers bite into my forearm, and I turn back.
My girl throws herself into my arms with such ferocity I stumble back, boot sliding a little in Sweetie’s pooling blood. Arms tight around my waist, Rae buries her face against my chest and lets out a single pained sob.
As if that ain’t the most perfect feeling ever: her tight against me where she belongs.
“Hey.” Hand stroking over her head, I press kisses against the clean parts of her hair. “Got plenty of time for this when we’re somewhere safe. Think you can be strong for me just a little longer?”
“Sure.” She hiccups a breath and then takes a step back, face crumpling with what I hope is relief. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left, that I walked out, that?—”
"What's done is done." I grab her by the hand again and lead her toward the front door. "Just glad you ain't the one on the floor, baby girl." I lead us outside, both out of urgency and the need to hide the fucking fear plastered across my face.
Too fucking close. Too fucking close in so many ways.
Close to home. Close to her. Close to death. Close to the biggest mistake of my life.
Too fucking close.
Jamie hovers near the three bikes, Harvey leaving a trail of dust as he peels down the driveway in the fucking Ford. “What do we do?” She gestures to the trio. “Which one do I leave behind?”
"Take Harvey's home." It's a little large for her, but the kid wouldn't forgive me if I left it here for Fox to trash. Rigs, on the other hand, well fuck, I can buy him a new spare. "You good to ride?"
She nods, shaking out her arms. “Yeah. I am now.”
Out of sight, out of mind. Nothing like seeing your first dead body to shake the shit out of you, that’s for sure.
“Get on your way, then. We won’t be far behind.” I pass Rae my helmet, shaking off the familiarity of rescuing her this way.
“What about you?” She tries to push the lid back toward me.
“Don’t give a fuck about myself, sweetheart.” I twist the helmet around and plop it on her head before she can protest again. “But I care too much about you to risk it.”
Her hands wrap tenderly around my wrists as I buckle the lid. Fuck Fox. Fuck the urgency to get the hell out of here. The way this woman looks at me, full of trust and respect—shit. Makes me want to do all manner of things to show her I hold her in the same regard.
Makes me want to prove to her there’s a reason she has my name on her back.
There’s a reason why I knew I’d goddamn do it the minute I laid eyes on her.
Why I gave up fighting something so impossible.
Why I admitted to myself that I fell in love with her at first sight.
Even if I haven’t told her yet.