50. Tyke
50
TYKE
By the time I swing our procession around and turn into the yard, Buster has the gate rolled most of the way open. The echo of growling engines never fails to warm my heart, the sound of men bound by honor and a shared code moving in unison, united furthermore by a common love—the humble motorcycle.
My first ride was a glitchy little two-stroke my old man had saved from the scrap heap. Damn thing never started on the first kick, let alone the tenth, and the throttle stuck more often than it didn’t, but it taught me how to trust my instinct.
An instinct I relied on today. An instinct that gives me a deep-seated sense of right in the world when I spot Rae running across the yard to meet me.
I bring my bike to a standstill, kick out the stand, and lean back to watch the rest of the men ride in via my mirrors. Kane pulls up next, Viking aligning himself to his left, then Rigs hard right to make way for Hammer as he maneuvers the crash van to its designated spot.
I wait until everyone is home safe and where they ought to be before I allow my quickened heart the luxury of turning toward the woman patiently waiting at my side.
My woman. No. Our woman.
She’s our woman in more ways than one. She belongs to Digger and me, but she's also proved herself to be a woman for the club. Shit. I was damn near set on my ass when Connor told me she'd asked him to keep watch.
Raven hair flicking about her delicate jaw, Rae is a fucking vision. She hugs herself, hands rubbing her biceps while a shy smile plays across her lips. I note Digger, waiting respectfully near the tables while I find it in me to set about the chain of events that have railed through my mind the whole fucking ride here.
“You’re okay,” Rae says softly, breaking the awkward fucking silence I seem hell-bent on creating.
I slide my helmet off and rest it on the bars. “I am, baby girl. Yeah.”
“Is he…?”
“Not your problem anymore.” I swing my leg over and then turn to face her. “And not mine, either.”
She hesitantly grins, then rushes at me full of love and appreciation. I open my arms to receive her, shifting a foot back when Rae barrels into me, and wrap my woman in the tightest fucking hug I can muster without fearing I'll break her.
Her feet leave the ground, and I lift Rae until we’re eye-to-eye. “Miss me, then?”
“Oh, only a little.”
I kiss the damn smile off her face.
A throat clearing to my left breaks the spell. For fuck’s sake.
“What?” My question barks out a little sharper than intended.
Hammer recoils. “You want to call everyone together to run through this while it’s fresh?”
“Yeah.” I nod, still clutching Rae to my chest. “Gather ‘em up. I won’t be far behind.”
He lifts his chin, then turns heel to follow Rigs and Kane toward the clubhouse.
Maddie hesitates in the open doorway, one hand on the frame as she regards me from a distance.
I smile at her, and she returns it with an equally relieved one before reaching out to punch her brother in the arm.
Everyone disappears indoors, leaving just me, my woman, and the man who has equal rights to this conversation as either of us.
“Dig.” I set Rae on her feet yet keep her tucked at my side. “You wanna get your ass over here?”
He pushes off the picnic table and crosses the yard in long strides. “I don’t know if I should thump you one or shake your hand.” Digger huffs a laugh, stopping before us and shoving both hands in his pockets. “Glad to see you’re in one piece, brother.”
"Glad to be as well." I glance down at Rae, kiss her head, and then address Digger again. "I plan to resign when we step foot in that meeting room. Wanted you to know first so you're not blindsided by the news."
“Like I ain’t now.” He scoffs. “Shit. Really?”
“Are you sure?” Rae twists against my side, her gorgeous fucking tits crushed against my rib cage.
I have steam I need to blow off, and the sooner we get the formalities out of the way, the sooner I can do that. "Yeah. I'm sure."
“But the shit with the Devil’s Breed…” Digger sets both hands atop his head, eyebrows raised. “Why now?”
“Because I’ve had enough, brother.” I check behind me, then maneuver Rae and myself until I rest my ass on the bike, her tucked between my spread legs. “I took on the goddamn role thinking I could change this club for the better.”
"You have," he protests, falling silent when I raise my hand.
"The thing I didn't account for, Dig, is that no matter what I do within these walls, the world ain't changin'." I run a palm up and down the back of Rae's thigh in slow strokes while I talk. "I can wax philosophical all I like about keepin' moral boundaries. About makin' the Reapers a haven. But as long as there are greedy, power-hungry men out there willing to throw their goddamn mother under the bus for a sniff of infamy, then I'm fightin' a losing battle."
I pause and give Digger a moment to let the truth unfold in his mind.
Rae stands just as quiet before me, glancing down when she feels my focus on her and giving a soft smile. No words. Just the gentle rake of her fingers through my hair as she gives me what I need in the moment: reassurance.
"Who are you nominating?" Digger frowns, folding his arms across his chest as he widens his stance.
“Minion.”
“Shit. You think he’ll take it?”
“I think he’ll enjoy seein’ the looks on the Breed’s faces when he fucks up their money-maker and sets them girls free.”
“True that.”
I slide my hand to Rae’s ass and tug her closer. “You gonna tell me what’s on your mind there, beautiful? Or you gonna leave me hangin’ in suspense a little longer.”
"I don't think the decision has anything to do with me." She sets her hands on either side of my face and tilts my head toward her. "Are you making this choice with your head or heart, though?"
"Both." Tossed that thought around on the ride back here, too.
Wanted to be sure I wasn’t acting out of impulse. That I didn’t make a rash decision based on one bad day. I let the wind whip around me while I rode that goddamn highway and focused on the growl of the engine to quiet my mind. Got real focused up in there and just let the thought of stepping down as the Red River Reaper’s president sit in my body to see where I felt it. How it felt.
My mind knew it was time, but I also feared how the news would be taken.
My heart beat faster at the thrill of change.
And my gut settled, weightless and confident I’d be okay.
I won't let anyone down. I don't leave them unprotected or at risk. I ain't going anywhere; I just don't want to be the guy tasked with making decisions that affect the lives of everyone around me anymore.
I've done my tenure. Nine years, I've led from the front. Twenty-one, I've dedicated my life to the club.
I’m ready to ride behind someone else again.
“Well.” Digger drops his arms with a slap as his hands hit his thighs. “Guess we better go tell ‘em then.”
“Wait.” Rae reaches out, capturing him by the wrist. “We should take another few minutes to talk about something else.”
The two of them exchange a look—one I don’t like feeling excluded from.
Digger frowns. “Are you sure? I don’t want to rush it.”
"Now seems like the right time, don't you think? While we're talking about our plans for the future."
“You two gonna clue me in?” I drop my hand away from Rae.
She stiffens, well fucking aware I’m growing more annoyed by the second.
"Fine." Digger huffs like a bratty little girl. "I told Rae, while we were waitin' on the news about you, that when you got back, I wanted to set some shit straight."
My stomach churns. This is what it feels like for things to be wrong. Off. Fucking about to implode.
“I figure, if you two want to make this work—serious—we need to figure some shit out.”
“Like what?” I damn near choke on my words.
If they fucking tell me they want to do this alone. If I’m about to get cut out of this goddamn arrangement… fuck.
"We can't keep doing this," he says, fucking slicing me in two. "Here." Digger hastily adds, reading the motherfucking panic on my face. "I want us to have a place of our own. A home for Rae. Just because you and me gotta be busy with the club day in and day out doesn't mean she needs to be, too."
“Couldn’t agree more.” I rub the heel of one hand down the center of my chest. Fuck me. Way to give a man issues.
"We need to set ground rules around who gets time with Rae and when so that neither of us feels left out."
"This ain't a goddamn hire-by-the-hour agreement," I snap. "We all live under the same roof. We all talk to each other like adults. If any one of us feel we're bein' left out, then we fucking say so.”
"I think perhaps we should just play it by ear," Rae says softly. "That won't be our biggest concern, anyway."
"What is?" The fuck these two been gossiping about while I've been gone.
"Kids." Digger shrugs. "I want my own, and Rae hasn't yet reached that part of her life." He narrows his eyes on me. "We gonna have issues over who's the father? I mean, we can't keep track if we're… you know."
“All throwin’ our porridge in the same pot?” I smirk.
Digger fights a grin.
Rae gasps. “Oh my God.” She covers her mouth, but I can tell she smiles behind it. “You two are unbelievable.”
“You picked us,” Digger teases.
“Should I be rethinking that?”
I spin her around so that her back faces me. "Where is your patch anyway?"
"In my room." She glances over her shoulder at me. “Do I need to always have it on, even when we're hanging out here?"
“ Especially when we’re hangin’ out here,” I growl. “It’s a badge of honor, baby girl. It’s like braggin’ rights for us to have the brothers see you in it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” I smack her rounded ass. “Just don’t do it again.”
Digger fights a grin. Fucker knew it’d rile me up and get her in the shit. Bastard wanted to see what I’d do.
Probably hoped the ‘punishment’ would end up in the bedroom, too.
“Anyways,” I state, rising to my feet. “There won’t be arguments.”
“You sure?” Rae frowns. “You might feel differently when the day comes.”
“It won’t.” I lick my lip, smiling a little at their confusion. “I had the fuckin’ snip years ago.”
“Hey?” Digger exclaims. “When?”
"After Harvey was born. Knew Charlene kept gettin' pregnant, thinking it would keep her safe as my old lady because what animal would kick out a woman carrying his child, right? So, I played the bitch and made sure nothing would happen when she supposedly forgot her pill again."
“That’s quite a permanent solution,” Rae muses.
I shrug. “Got two boys and a girl I’m fucking proud of. Didn’t feel like I needed any more.”
“Blanks, huh?” Digger nods. “Crafty.”
"Sensible." I clap him on the shoulder and usher Rae to my other side. "Now come on. Let's tell these fuckers they need a new president so we can get to movin’ on with our lives. Yeah?”
“Sure.” Digger turns and walks a few steps ahead as we go indoors.
A tug on my arm stalls me. Rae glances at Digger's retreating form as we stop. She turns her face up to mine, her brow peaked a little as she asks, "Are you sure you're okay?"
“You mean, do I feel messed up after killin’ a man?”
She nods, concern evident in the glimmer of her eyes.
“No, baby.” I smooth her hair behind one ear, then coast my thumb across her cheekbone. “I look at you, and I know it was worth it.”
“Tyke…” She captures my wrist, nuzzling her cheek against my palm.
“We all gotta endure a little pain to remind us why the good stuff is worth it, right?”
Her glassy eyes find mine, lips rolling as she searches for words. "We do."
I cup her face, guiding her close enough to capture her lips with mine. “Then come inside and help me make the rest of my days worth it.”