29 Savannah #2
“Yes. But you’ve never let that stand in your way. You’re going to figure this out.” She gave her sister’s hand a squeeze.
“And if you need to stay with us for a bit until you do, you’re always welcome.”
“Who’s always welcome where?” Cora asked as she walked up the sandy path carrying a towel-wrapped Juliette.
“Involved in other people’s business much?” Bianca said.
Cora climbed the few steps to the deck and set Juliette on Savannah’s lounger. “I know, right? A wise person told me I needed
to be more present, so I’m trying it out. What do you think?”
Bianca just shook her head. Then something near the back door caught her attention, and she shot up. “Oh, shoot. Is that the
time? I gotta go.” She sprang out of her chair and grabbed her things.
“Have fun at your setup,” Savannah said.
“You’re not mad I’m missing hamburger night or whatever this tradition is?”
Savannah shrugged, cuddling with her damp daughter. “I think it’s time we start making some new traditions. And maybe one
of them can be coming to see your beautiful dinner settings in real life.”
Bianca grinned. “I’d like that.” She gave everyone a quick hug, then dashed into the house.
When Chris and Genevieve got back, Chris took the girls into the house to give them a bath while Cora carried out a platter
of hamburger patties for the grill.
As soon as she flipped the first one onto the grill, she looked over at Savannah. “I take it you and Bianca made up?”
Savannah sighed. Being back on good terms with her sister felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her chest. “Yes. But
while we’re on the topic of making up, there are some things I need to tell you, too.”
“Okay, shoot,” Cora said as she put the rest of the hamburgers on the grill.
“I might have let you believe some things that weren’t exactly true about Mom and Dad’s divorce.”
Cora paused mid-flip. “What?”
Savannah swallowed. “The night of the big fight, I said you were acting like a sullen toddler when it came to Dad, which wasn’t
a nice thing for me to say—”
“You’re forgiven,” Cora said before Savannah could even get the whole phrase out and went back to her grill responsibilities.
Savannah continued. “But I realized that might be because I kept some things from you.”
“Like what?”
“Well...” Savannah paused, trying to think through the best way to word the truth she’d conveniently concealed for the
past sixteen years. But the time for thinking of the best way to say things had passed. Since she’d already started the conversation,
it was time to lay it all out on the table. “You put all the blame on Dad for leaving us, but the truth is Mom wanted the
divorce as much as he did.”
Cora shook her head, her focus still on the grill. “No, she was devastated. He left us.”
“Yes, it was hard on her. Her marriage had fallen apart. But that didn’t mean she didn’t want the divorce. And Dad didn’t
just leave. She asked him to move out.” Savannah paused. “I can’t begin to try to understand all the details of their relationship
that led them to that decision. And maybe it isn’t really for us to understand, anyway. But I do know it was very mutual.
If you want to blame someone, you have to blame them both. Equally.”
Cora narrowed her eyes skeptically. “Who told you that?”
“Mom.” She considered that for a second. “And Dad. In multiple conversations.”
Cora flipped a burger on the grill. The only sound was the sizzle of the meat while Cora considered what she was hearing.
It took actual physical effort for Savannah not to fill the silence with words.
Finally, Cora looked up. “Why wouldn’t they tell me that?”
“They tried,” Savannah said gently. “But I think you weren’t in a place where you wanted to hear it. To you, the divorce was
a feeling of abandonment.”
“Yeah. Because Dad left. And Mom had to fight her own battles. Even cancer.”
“Well,” Savannah said slowly, “not exactly.”
“What?”
“Actually, Dad was pretty involved in her treatment. He drove her to her chemo appointments. Remember that book we kept all
the notes in about what the doctors said so we could keep everything straight? He was the one who started that system. In
fact, half of the handwriting in there was his. He talked with doctors and helped manage the never-ending mountain of medical
bills. Especially at the end.”
Cora blinked, looking off-balance. “I don’t remember any of that.”
Savannah shrugged. “You were in Texas at college. The day-to-day stuff wasn’t your responsibility.”
“But I came back. I was there on every break. I looked through the book and went with her to appointments and slept in the hospital. Why did I never see his involvement?”
“Sometimes we only see what we want to see.”
Cora sank into a chair and stared off in the distance. Several silent minutes ticked by before she spoke again. “Why didn’t
you tell me this before?”
And this was where Savannah was at fault. In her attempt to keep the peace, she might have made things worse. “I should have.
But I was trying to protect Mom. You were so mad. And you funneled all your anger at Dad. I was afraid that if you knew Mom
was equally at fault, you’d stop talking to her, too.” Savannah dropped her head, feeling ashamed. “And I was afraid if you
stopped talking to Mom, you’d stop talking to all of us. I couldn’t stand losing you, too. So I helped you build the belief
that it was his fault so you wouldn’t hate us.”
“Oh, Savannah,” Cora breathed out, tears glistening in her eyes. “I was just angry. I never hated you.”
Savannah nodded. “I know. And I should have told you the whole story, but I thought if you were only mad at Dad, eventually
you would come around. I didn’t realize it would make things worse. I’m sorry.”
They sat there for a second, savoring the truth laid bare before them.
Cora got up to flip the burgers. “So, what else haven’t you told me about Dad?”
“He came to your college graduation.”
She paused and stared at Savannah, looking shocked. “Really?”
Savannah nodded. “He has your photographs hanging on his walls of his house. And he takes your ads to show his golf buddies
so often that they’re about to ban him from bringing more pictures.”
Cora was quiet while she pulled the hot dogs off the grill and stacked them on a plate. “Why are you telling me this now?”
“Because he might have stopped being married to Mom, but he never stopped loving us. It just dawned on me that you might not have realized that. And part of that was because I let you believe he was the one who left.”
Once again she could see tears glisten in Cora’s eyes, but her sister stayed focused on the grill. “So, what? I’m just supposed
to forgive him and act like nothing happened?”
“Keeping the information from you was on me. And I apologize for that. I should’ve trusted you with it a long time ago. But
what you do with the information, now that you know? Well, that’s on you.” She reached over and gave her sister’s hand a squeeze.
“But take it from me: life is too short to hold on to grudges.”