Chapter Thirteen
Blane had decided he’d go back inside once he got chilly, but after a while he understood that chilly wasn’t going to happen. He could sit out here all night if he wanted. He shifted against the cushions.
The balcony door opened, and he turned his head as Bea peeked out at him. Her hair was mussed, her eyes still sleepy, but they widened when she saw him.
“Oh. You’re here.” There was no mistaking the relief on her face.
He got to his feet and went to close his arms around her. “Damn, Bea. You thought I’d just disappear into the night?”
She pressed her forehead into his chest. “In my defense, I didn’t really think at all. I didn’t have the chance. I just woke up, wondered why I felt so…” She laughed softly. “Happy. And then I remembered, but then I turned over and you weren’t there.”
Her shoulders lifted in a shrug, and her arms came around his waist, but she still didn’t look up.
“You have to remember, Blane, the last time I navigated the waters of a new relationship was a very long time ago. I’m sure things have changed.
And even apart from that, the only me who has any experience with this kind of thing is eighteen years old. ”
He tightened his arms around her and rested his chin on top of her head.
“I have no clue how any of this works either. But I don’t think we need to.” He knew he’d said it wrong when she tipped her head back to look up at him, her eyes wide again.
“Shit. I didn’t mean it like that.”
She waited.
“I mean it doesn’t matter what other people do.
Regular people.” He frowned. “What matters between us is what we want to do. Maybe more than that, who we are.” He paused.
“I want to say that by now you should know I wouldn’t just disappear on you.
But I get it. You can’t know that. Not yet.
” He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “You’ll get the idea.”
“As I said, I didn’t have time to think it through.
I just panicked. Momentarily. And besides, you’re here now.
” A smile spread across her face. “Well, I suppose you were here all along, but you know what I mean. And isn’t it lovely out here?
I don’t blame you for coming out. I don’t think the cicadas ever really go to sleep. They get drowsy, but—”
He smiled through pursed lips. “Bea.”
She pressed her lips together.
“Want to stop rambling and sit for a while?”
She slapped his arm but moved toward the bench.
He settled back against the cushions, and she sat beside him. He curled his arm around her shoulders. She was wearing some silky wrap thing, and he ran his hand up and down her arm, liking the feel of it almost as much as he liked the woman underneath it.
“You warm enough in that?”
A smile played on her lips as her gaze traveled over his bare chest. “I’m fine. And I’m not going to ask you the same thing.”
“No?”
“No. For fear you might cover up all that…” She waved one hand vaguely at him. “All that Blane-ness. I’d hate for you to cover it.”
He chuckled. “Wasn’t planning to.”
They sat quietly for a while, looking out into the darkness. Eventually, Bea turned her face up to his.
“Whatever it is, you can say it. Or ask it.”
“Okay, then. I will.” She looked back at the house. “I know why I’m here. And you know at least the outline of my story now. But what about you, Blane? Why are you here? What’s your real life like?”
It was a fair question. He traced his fingers over her arm while he considered how the hell to answer it.
“Okay.” Bea apparently got tired of waiting. “I’ll ask an easier one. Tell me about your friend Cash and the way you work together. And you said there’s another one, too.”
He smiled. “I told you about Cash and Mav. They’re my partners in the security company, the active partners anyway.
There’s a whole bunch of us. We all grew up together in Paradise Valley.
That’s where they live now.” He frowned.
“Where I live now, I guess, since we moved operations back there a couple months ago.”
He stared out into the dark, trying to figure out the answer as much for himself as for her. “Yeah. So there’s a bunch of us who grew up together, joined the military, served on the teams together.”
“The SEAL teams?”
“Yeah. That’s what I mean.” He poked her in the side. “You want to tell this, or you want me to? Because this is starting to feel like an interview.”
She laughed and slapped his thigh. “Go on. I’ll stop interrupting. I was only trying to be helpful.”
He tightened his arm around her shoulders. “You were helpful.”
She settled against him.
“But going back to your question—what’s my life like now?
” He thought about it. “I’ve got a bunch of good friends.
I have a younger sister.” He paused. “I guess I see my role as standing watch, making sure that they're safe, that nothing gives them too much trouble. They live their lives; I stand guard.”
Bea was quiet for a moment. “But that’s about their lives. What about yours?”
He frowned. “That’s what I’m talking about.
That is my life.” He knew what she was getting at, though.
“I never wanted a home of my own, a family of my own, someone who depended on me.” He could feel her gaze on him and turned to meet it.
“I guess what I’m saying is that I never wanted somebody putting their life on hold while they waited for me to come home.
First it was deployments. Later it was work.
” He looked back out over the valley. “I guess it still is work.”
She didn’t say anything.
He glanced down at her and caught the sadness in her expression. “Don’t look at me like that. I have good friends.”
“I know.”
“And before you say it, people have told me before that it sounds lonely.” He shook his head. “It isn’t; I’m not lonely.” He looked back into the darkness. “I guess it goes back to that word again—I'm free.”
When he turned to her, she held his gaze for a long moment. He could tell she had questions, that she didn’t love the way he described his life. Not many people understood that he’d made a deliberate choice, and so far, nothing had made him want to change it.
She gave him a small nod. “Okay. What’s your sister like? Are the two of you close?”
He cleared his throat. “Brooke’s my favorite person on the planet.
She’s a lot younger than I am. A lot. She was what they call an oops baby.
” He paused. “Then our parents died young and…” He shrugged.
“I thought moving back home would be different. It’s good being closer to her now.
But yeah…” He blew out a breath. “She has her own life. She’s doing great. ”
He checked his watch. “What do you say? Time to go back to bed?”
It was easy to see that Bea had more questions, but after a moment, she nodded. “I think we probably should. I have a lot of work to do starting tomorrow.”
Something about the way she said it made him uneasy. “Still okay if I stick around to help?”
She stood and offered him her hand.
He let her pull him to his feet and relaxed when she said, “I was rather hoping you would.”
~ ~ ~
The next morning, Bea wrapped her hands around her mug and smiled out at the view.
Blane was inside taking a shower after breakfast, and she’d come out here to take it all in.
Her first morning in her new life; she was finally here.
She glanced back over her shoulder at the house.
There’d been times when she’d thought she wasn’t going to be able to pull it off, but everything had come together in the end.
She was here. The things she needed with her were here.
And… the part she hadn’t planned for. The part she would never even have dreamed of, if she were honest—Blane was here too.
She wasn’t going to examine that too closely.
She was just going to make the most of it.
She shifted in her seat. They’d certainly made the most of it last night.
She gripped her mug a little tighter as she remembered Blane suggesting they should go back to bed.
She’d wondered at first if he had more sex in mind, but that hadn’t been the case.
Lying there beside him, his arm around her, whispering about nothing, teasing, and joking in the darkness had been just as good.
He’d even made a joke about not being up for twice a night at his age.
Her smile faded a little when she remembered what had come after that.
He’d been kind about it when she admitted that twice a year hadn’t happened for a while for her.
And even when she’d watched him do the calculations after she told him that twice a decade was probably an optimistic description of her love life with Simon, he hadn’t pitied her.
He’d simply wrapped his arm around her, held her closer, and somehow made her laugh.
She couldn’t even remember what he’d said now, but that was just one of the many surprising, wonderful things about the man. He knew when humor was needed to take the pressure off, and what possibly surprised her most was that laughter seemed to be part of almost everything between them.
She came back to the moment when he appeared in the doorway from the kitchen, and she couldn’t keep the smile off her face.
Fresh from the shower, his hair still damp, wearing another pair of impressively well-fitting Wranglers and a pale blue T-shirt stretched over his muscular chest, he was almost enough to make her consider delaying the trip to the bakery and the garden center to see if she could persuade him back upstairs instead.
He came across the terrace to her, a knowing smile on his face.
“What?” she asked, trying to sound innocent.
“Just thinking I know what you’re thinking.” He smiled without even needing to fight for it. “Was thinking the same thing myself.”
When she stood, he wrapped his arms around her waist, then slid one hand down over her backside. A shiver ran right through her, and she looked up into his eyes.
He chuckled.
“I didn’t realize that was what the extra pair of hands was for.”
His eyebrows rose.