Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
An hour later, I was on my way to meet Liam at our spot, which was located on the grounds of the Grosse Point Lighthouse near the northern end of campus.
I parked in a small lot and walked the path past the nature sanctuary and the cottage, down to the seawall next to the lighthouse.
That was where Liam and I used to sit and talk, share a drink, a kiss, dream about the future…
I felt a knot in my throat as I saw him before he saw me.
He wore jeans, a gray T-shirt, and was staring out at the water with a pensive expression, his brown hair blowing in the breeze.
I was reminded of how many times I'd come down here, eager to see him, to touch him, to be with him.
There had been a time when I'd really loved him, as much as I could love anyone at that moment.
But I'd messed it all up, driven him away. And even though we were meeting now, I knew there was no going back. This conversation wasn't about us. It was about Paige. The woman who'd come between us nine years ago had ironically brought us back together.
I climbed onto the wall and sat two feet away from him, letting my legs hang over the edge like I used to.
The lake was calm, more green than blue, the sun laying a wide sheet of light across the surface.
But as I stared at the water, I couldn't help thinking about how Paige had lost her life in this lake.
It was beautiful, but it was also deadly.
And seeing Liam lost in thought, I had a feeling he was thinking the same thing.
Finally, he turned his head, and I turned mine, and our gazes met. Time slipped away for a moment, but I could see him pull himself back into the present, and I had to do the same.
"I was surprised you wanted to talk," I said.
He didn't answer right away. He picked up a small flat stone from the seawall and turned it over in his fingers, as if weighing what he wanted to say. Finally, he said, "I didn't want to talk to you again, but I have to."
"Why? And why here?"
"Maybe because it's where it began."
He was right. Our first date had ended up here. We'd shared a bottle of wine and talked for what seemed like hours and then started a kiss that had kept going for almost a year. When he didn't say more, I said, "Is this supposed to be another ending?"
"More like a truce."
"Okay. Then talk."
He looked over at me. "I saw your post last night. I can't believe Detective Cabot is dead. It sounded like you were there, at his house, at the scene."
"I was there. I wanted to talk to him about his investigation or lack thereof. I actually went with Detective Barclay."
Surprise ran through his gaze. "He took you with him?"
"He figured I'd go by myself, so he might as well keep an eye on me. But it turns out, there was nothing to see but Cabot's body. He was dead when we got there. Someone had bashed his head in."
Liam took a quick breath, shaking his head in confusion. "Who would do that?"
"Probably whoever killed Paige."
"You really believe the detective's death is connected to Paige?"
"Yes. And Detective Barclay does as well. It makes sense, Liam."
"None of this makes sense. I thought Paige's death was an accident, that she was drunk and disoriented and fell into the water."
"That's not what happened."
"But you don't know what happened."
"I'm going to figure it out, no matter how many times someone tries to stop me."
He gave me a questioning look. "Who's trying to stop you?"
"I don't know who's behind the escalating attacks on me, but last night, the apartment where Morgan and I were staying was set on fire. We barely escaped out the window."
Shock ran across his face. "What the hell? Why didn't you tell me that last night when I texted you?"
"It happened after that. It was in the middle of the night. They broke into the yoga studio downstairs and started a fire."
"And the police don't know who did that, either?"
"No, but it's obvious. I'm making someone nervous."
"Well, you were always very good at that." His words were hard, but his gaze softened. "I'm glad you weren't hurt. But this is bad, Tessa. You're taunting a murderer."
"Who will hopefully make a mistake."
"If you don't make a fatal mistake before they do."
I tipped my head in agreement. "So why did you want to talk to me?"
He hesitated for a moment, then said, "Ray MacIntyre came into the club last night.
He was already heated when he got there, but after a shot or two, he started to rage at me about you, how you were hurting his family and ruining his life.
He rambled on somewhat incoherently about how Paige hated him the last few days of her life, and that she'd died without understanding why he'd done what he'd done. "
"That's cryptic. Why would Paige hate her brother? I thought she adored him. She was always worrying about him, checking up on him, at least when we were friends. I guess I hadn't talked to her about him for a while."
"I asked him the same question. Ray wasn't making a lot of sense, but he said he'd needed cash just to tide him over, and it wasn't a lot to ask, and Paige had the money, and he just didn't understand why she wouldn't help him.
He'd told her how important it was. She was being selfish, and she should have helped him. "
"That's interesting. I wonder why he suddenly needed cash. Or why he didn't go to his parents."
"He said that he told Paige their parents would kill him if they found out what he'd done."
"Ironically poor choice of words."
"It was what Ray said next that really bothered me.
He looked me right in the eye and said, 'It wasn't my fault.
You have to believe me. I didn't know. It wasn't my fault.
'" Liam paused, then said, "I asked him why anyone would think her death was his fault.
He jerked back, like he'd suddenly realized he'd said the words out loud.
That's when the backpedaling started. He said he just felt bad that Paige had died feeling disappointed in him.
And he can't relive it all. Alina doesn't understand how much this is hurting his parents again. "
"It sounds more like he doesn't want anyone to think he killed his sister over the cash she wouldn't give him."
"I hate to think Paige's own brother killed her, but Ray has a temper. I told him he was drunk, and we weren't going to serve him anymore. He should go home, sober up, and talk to his sister, because Alina was the one driving this whole thing."
"What happened next?"
"He said he was going to finish his drink, so I walked away. Ten minutes later, he was in a shoving match with another customer. I ended up throwing him out."
"What time was this?"
"It was about eight o'clock last night. I couldn't stop thinking about what he'd said, and then I looked up your podcast and saw your video about Cabot and thought about how convinced you were that someone had killed Paige, and that's when I texted you.
" He paused. "I don't want you to quote me on anything, Tessa.
I just wanted to give you the information in case it was more than just drunken rambling. "
"I appreciate that. I'll talk to Detective Barclay about it."
"So, Colton is helping you?"
"I don't think he's trying to help me, but he's investigating, and he's more committed to searching for the truth now that his mentor is dead."
"Maybe you were right to dredge all this back up."
"I would like to know where Ray was before he got to your bar and where he went after that. Detective Cabot was killed around four or five in the afternoon yesterday, and my apartment building was set on fire probably around one thirty in the morning."
"I'm not sure Ray was sober enough to set a fire."
"Well, you said you threw him out around eight, so he had time to sober up.
" I paused, thinking about everything he'd just told me.
"I'm beginning to understand why Paige seemed so messed up the last few weeks of her life.
She was having trouble with her brother.
She had some kind of illicit relationship with Professor Hale. And she had the pressure of the play."
"You really think she was sleeping with Hale?"
"I do. And Hale was friends with Cabot. Did you know that?"
"No."
"They played chess together, which could be why Cabot didn't investigate the way he should have."
"You are pulling a lot of skeletons out of the closet, Tessa.
It's kind of strange that you're the one trying to find out what happened to Paige when you were also one of the reasons why she was having a hard time.
You were making her life difficult. You were making her feel like she wasn't good enough. "
"I was," I admitted. "And it appears she was trying to get with you to get back at me."
"Which is why it was never going to happen. You can believe that or not."
And now we were back to us. "I believe you," I said slowly.
"Back then, I think I was looking for reasons to be mad at you.
I was feeling out of control, and none of it really had anything to do with you.
I felt like a failure when I didn't get the part, then I felt like second choice when Paige died, and I did get it.
Nothing felt right about any of it. I was very caught up in myself, and when you would be nice or try to make me feel better, it just made me angry.
Paige had told me once that I didn't deserve you, and I think she was right. "
He stared back at me, his gaze filled more with pain and bewilderment than anger. "I never understood why your feelings changed. I thought we had something good, Tessa."
"And then I ruined it."
He nodded. "Yeah, you did."
"I'm sorry, Liam. I realize that doesn't change anything, but I am sorry. And I'm glad I got to say it to you. It feels strange that Paige is the reason why."
"It is ironic. She didn't want us together. She didn't want you to be happy because she wasn't happy."
"The one thing that doesn't make sense to me is why Paige didn't turn to Nate for comfort. He was her boyfriend, and as far as I know, she never broke up with him."
"I did remind her she had a boyfriend," he said. "Nate was a nice guy. I told her if she didn't want to be with him, she should end the relationship."
"What did she say?"
"That I was right, and that Nate was great, and she did care about him, and she just needed to get herself together.
At times, she seemed aware that she was not acting right and other times she just seemed completely unlike herself.
I'm guessing that was due to whatever she was putting in her body. "
"Nate told me that he felt she was pulling away from him, and he didn't understand why."
He let out a sigh. "It's all so tragic. Anyway, I better get back to work. Where are you staying now?"
I hesitated. "I can't say."
I didn't know what emotion it was that ran through his gaze—disappointment, doubt, speculation, but he didn't like my answer.
"I guess that makes sense," he said finally. "You need to be careful. You shouldn't trust anyone."
"I would like to trust you."
His gaze met mine. "But you can't."
"I want to."
"That's not the same thing."
"No, it's not."
He swung his legs around and hopped off the wall. "For what it's worth, I wasn't sure I wanted to trust you again, either, Tessa."
"I appreciate you telling me about Ray."
"I hope it helps. I didn't just do it for you; I did it for Paige. Before she went a little nuts, she was a sweet girl. And she didn't deserve to die."
"I agree." I climbed off the wall as we started walking toward the parking lot. "I'm going to tell Detective Barclay what you said. Unless you want to tell him yourself? You do know him."
"Not really, and I don't need to get any more involved in this. I have a business to run."
"It seems like a good business," I commented as we moved through the park. "You always wanted to open a club and fill it with music and friends, and you made it happen. That's impressive."
"It's been a lot of work, a tremendous amount of time. I haven't done much else."
"Dreams take commitment."
"Most things do." He paused when we got to the lot. "I'm not sure I would have gotten to this point in my professional life if we'd stayed together."
"Maybe I did you a favor when I broke up with you."
"I think I broke up with you, but you did force the issue. If you hadn't…"
"What?" I asked curiously as his voice trailed away.
"If you'd asked me to go to New York with you…"
"What?" I repeated.
His gaze met mine. "I probably would have said yes."
My heart dropped. "Really? I didn't think you'd ever leave Chicago. You wanted a club like the one your grandfather had. You wanted it to be a place where people came after Cubs games and Bears games and whatever other sport was happening."
"I did want that, but I also wanted you. I guess things worked out the way they were supposed to. Take care, Tessa."
"You, too." As I watched him get in his car, I wondered if things had worked out the way they were supposed to, or if I had destroyed the best relationship I'd ever had.