Chapter One Beautiful Dreams #2
“Do I like him? I love him.” I start to giggle when Scooter licks my ear.
Jacob reaches out to pat him. “I thought we could raise him together.”
I’m only half listening because Scooter is starting to chew on the string from my hoodie.
“If you want,” Jacob continues, “we could consider him our dog, not just mine, since you’re here so much anyway.”
The suggestion finally filters through my brain. I’m already so in love with this little angel of a puppy that I lean toward Jacob and kiss him on the cheek. “I love that idea.” Scooter wiggles in my arms. “Do you hear that? I’m gonna be your new mom.”
Only then do my thoughts creep to the pregnancy test in my backpack, and the anxiety returns. “Is this the surprise you talked about?”
Jacob chuckles. “What . . . you were expecting more?”
I can’t seem to smile or speak. My whole body has gone numb, and I feel foolish to have imagined that he was going to propose. What a stupid pipe dream. We’re still in college. Getting married probably isn’t even on Jacob’s radar, nor should it be. He’s a practical guy.
Scooter tries to wiggle out of my arms, so I set him down on the cushion. He staggers around the squishy surface on clumsy paws.
Jacob lays a hand on my shoulder. “Something’s wrong. What is it?”
I shut my eyes and shake my head.
“Tell me.”
I finally force myself to look at him. “I thought, coming over here, that . . .”
I can’t continue. It’s too embarrassing to admit that I was hoping for a ring. I’ll have to explain this another way.
I swivel on my knees and face him. “I have to tell you something, but I don’t want you to be upset.” I can’t find the right words, and I feel like I’m not making any sense. “I’m so sorry, Jacob. I’m not even sure how to . . .”
I notice the color draining from his face. “How to what? Are you not ready for a dog? Or are you talking about us? Are you having doubts or something?”
Oh, my God. He thinks I want to break up. But nothing could be further from the truth. I love him more than life itself. I can’t even imagine being in this world without him.
“No, it’s nothing like that,” I assure him. “It’s something else and . . .” I bury my face in my hands. “I don’t know how to tell you this.”
“Tell me what?” His words tumble out in a rush.
“My period’s late.”
Jacob stares at me blankly, and I understand that he’s processing what I’ve just said.
“How late?” he asks.
“Ten days.”
He sucks in a small breath, and I feel a sudden overwhelming need to ease his fears.
“I don’t know for sure that I’m pregnant, because I’m always late. Just not this late. But I have a pregnancy test in my backpack. I thought I could take it here, and then we’ll know for sure.”
His lips are parted, and he wets them. “Are those tests reliable?”
“I think so.”
“Then maybe we should do it now,” he says, “before supper.”
I’m relieved that he’s not freaking out too much. At least not yet. But that’s why I love him. He’s never been a hothead.
I move to my backpack, unzip it, and withdraw the plastic bag with the test inside. “I’m nervous.”
“Me too,” Jacob says. “But everything’s going to be okay.” He gathers me into his arms and kisses the side of my head. “Whatever happens, we’ll figure it out together. I’ll marry you tomorrow if that’s what you want.”
I draw back, blinking in astonishment.
He shrugs and gives me a small smile. “I’ve always imagined us getting married anyway. We’d just have to move the date up—that’s all.”
I love him so much it hurts. This man is everything I’ve ever wanted.
“You’re amazing,” I say. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” He takes my hand, raises it to his lips, and kisses it. “If I had a ring right now, I’d get down on one knee.”
I start to cry and laugh at the same time. “I might as well tell you . . . that’s what I thought your surprise was.”
“Really?” He glances at Scooter, who has fallen asleep on the cushion. “And it was just a dog.” He kisses my hand again. “Next time it’ll be a ring. I promise.”
He walks me to the bathroom and ushers me inside, and I glance at him with unexpected anticipation before I close the door behind me.
Five minutes later, Jacob and I sit next to each other on the sofa, elbows on knees, watching the clock on the wall. Each minute ticks by like an hour, but we’re almost there.
“Thirty more seconds,” Jacob says.
The little plastic stick rests on the TV table across the room, and I wonder if it’s already showing the result. I glance up at the clock again, and the second hand finally hits twelve.
“It’s time.” I breathe deeply.
Jacob wraps his arm around my shoulders and kisses my temple before he gets up to check the result. Heart racing, I sit and watch him pick up the stick and stare at it for a moment, his eyebrows drawn together, his brow furrowed.
“Two lines are positive, right?” he asks.
Oh, God. There it is. I’m going to have his baby. “Yes.”
Jacob holds up the stick. “It’s negative.”
I stare at him with wide eyes, and the whole world goes quiet. Then my insides start buzzing.
“Are you sure?” I shoot off the sofa to check for myself. Jacob hands the stick to me, and I stare at the tiny window. There’s only one pink line. “This can’t be,” I say. “Maybe I did it wrong.”
“How many ways are there to pee on a stick?” Jacob asks.
I continue to stare at it in disbelief. “But I’m ten days late.”
“Have you ever been that late before?”
I look up at him. “No. Never.”
Scooter whimpers on the cushion. Then he squats and pees on it.
Jacob turns to him. “Oh no, Scooter. You’re supposed to pee on the paper, remember?
” He picks him up and gently deposits him on the newspaper by the front door, but it’s too late and Scooter has no idea why he’s over there, except maybe to be introduced to the scent of my shoes—an old, worn pair of loafers.
He sniffs the left one and starts to chew on the tassel.
“No, Scooter,” Jacob says. He scoops him up again and holds him like a football. “That’s not for you.”
Watching them, I realize I’ve been standing in a state of paralysis. In an attempt to shake myself out of my stupor, I look down at the test again. It wasn’t the result I’d been expecting, and I feel completely unraveled.
Jacob moves closer. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t know.”
He sets Scooter on the floor and gives me his full attention. “Are you disappointed?”
There’s nothing but compassion in his tone, and I’m grateful that he’s always sensitive to my feelings. “Of course not,” I reply. “I was terrified of being pregnant.”
Yet something in me feels deflated, and I don’t know what to make of it. I lift my watery gaze to meet his. “But maybe I am a little disappointed. When I started to imagine us getting married and living together . . .”
He nods. “I feel the same way. I kind of liked the idea. Although I don’t know how our parents would have taken it.”
“I’m pretty sure mine would have supported our decision, under the circumstances,” I tell him. “They would have helped us.”
We stand there in silence, our eyes locked, as if the world around us has faded away, and in that brief, fragile moment, a warmth swells in my chest. My heart feels full.
“Let’s cook some burgers,” he says. “I’m starving.”
“Me too.” I head for the kitchen. “Come on, Scooter. It’s time for supper.”
He trots happily to follow but stops when Jacob picks up the red cushion with pee on it and tosses it into the washing machine with some powdered detergent.
He shuts the lid and presses the Start button, and when the water begins to hiss through the pipes, Scooter runs and tries to hide between my feet.
Before bed, we discuss the new sleeping arrangements and decide it would be best to train Scooter to sleep on his cushion on the floor in front of the closet. Not in bed with us, because we can’t let him think he’s king of the castle. Besides, he might pee on the blankets.
After I brush my teeth and change into my pajamas, I retrieve the red cushion from the dryer. It’s still warm when I place it on the floor.
“Come on, Scooter. Time for bed. Lie down.”
He seems to understand the command, or maybe he just wants to be close to me. Either way, I’m pleased when he curls up on the cushion.
“What a good boy.” I pat him for a few minutes until his eyes close and his breathing slows. His little paws twitch, and I suspect he’s dreaming about stinky shoes.
Jacob walks in with his toothbrush still in his mouth and gives me a thumbs-up for getting Scooter settled. He returns to the bathroom to finish brushing his teeth, and I quietly rise to my feet and crawl into bed.
Jacob joins me a moment later, slides under the covers, and switches off the lamp.
We face each other and embrace, our bodies linked by the emotional heights of the day. He inches closer and buries his face in the crook of my neck.
“It doesn’t matter what the test said,” he whispers. “I still want to marry you.”
“I want to marry you too,” I say breathlessly, because I never imagined I could love anyone like this.
His hand traces the curve of my hip, and his mouth is hungry for mine. I cling to him, this man who is the other half of my soul. I know he’s the one I’m meant for—the only man I’ll ever love.
I hear a noise in the night and wake groggily to realize it’s Scooter, crying on the cushion. I nudge Jacob. He’s asleep on his stomach, his cheek planted deep in the pillow.
He lifts his head. “What is it?”
Scooter bawls, and we both sit up.
“Do you need to go outside?” Jacob asks.
Scooter lets out another pitiful sob, and I lay a hand over my heart. “Oh no. He probably misses his mother. It’s his first night away.”
“Yeah.” Jacob tosses the covers aside and pulls on his pajama bottoms. “I’ll take him outside to distract him. Maybe he’ll pee.”
Jacob leads Scooter out of the bedroom, and I flop back onto the pillows and close my eyes. I try to go back to sleep, but I can’t because I realize I, too, need to pee.