Chapter Sixteen Love
Chapter Sixteen
Love
A marvelous aroma of freshly mowed grass fills me with ecstasy. The sky is endlessly clear, illuminated by a golden, ethereal light. There’s a soft summer breeze on my face, untainted by pollution, and I’m weightless.
I’ve returned to the Annapolis Valley, where I was born and raised, and I feel at home in the lush green landscape of cornfields, graceful weeping willows, and towering, majestic maples.
I’m not riding in a car, but I travel swiftly along familiar country roads.
I pass by a white farmhouse. A black-and-white sheepdog frolics in the front yard.
Is he chasing butterflies? A Frisbee? I can’t guess, but it doesn’t matter. He’s happy, and his joy is contagious.
I close my eyes and savor the warmth of the sunshine and my sense of safety and well-being. How different it feels from my last few moments on earth, in those cold, churning waters that had taken my life, when I was terrorized by the violence of the stormy ocean.
Yet when I think of its salty fragrance, the fog and the mist, and the mesmerizing roar of those frothy, breaking waves, I harbor no animosity.
I love the ocean devotedly. I’m a part of it now, a part of the force that took my life, along with the earth and the wind, the insects, plants, flowers, rocks, and minerals.
Here, in this place, the sky is a multifaceted shade of blue that astounds me.
I’ve never seen that shade before. All the clouds have silver linings—a dazzling light that shines from beyond.
The leaves on the trees are full of moisture, buzzing with life.
The rational part of my brain—which continues to wield influence on my thinking—makes me wonder if I’m dreaming, because each individual leaf, among thousands, seems to regard me with love.
We share a joy I can’t even begin to comprehend.
What’s happening here? I know I’m dead, but I’m surrounded by the miracle of life.
Photosynthesis, metabolism, chemical energy.
I’m enthralled by the world around me, though I know it’s not real.
How can it be? I’ve always imagined the hereafter to be a place beyond the clouds, but I’ve returned to the home I love.
Is this my own private, personal heaven, called forth just for me? Is that how this works?
I fly faster through the valley, over fields, forests, and winding roads.
Colors everywhere are more vivid and harmonious than anything I’ve experienced on earth—blues, greens, pinks, and golds that blend together in perfect harmony.
I pass over a tiny white chapel that shimmers with divine radiance. A bell is ringing in its steeple.
I keep moving and finally pause on a residential country lane, where I spot a tall concrete water fountain with a statue of an angel in someone’s backyard. For some reason I can’t explain, it speaks to me.
My feet are bare, and I set them on the cool, green grass. The physical sensation of my feet connecting with the earth is heady, but I feel wholly at ease as I approach the fountain, where three gorgeous red cardinals are splashing about.
I look up at the angel and realize it’s just a baby, pure and innocent, with small rounded wings.
Turning slowly, I take in the view of the house—a traditional Victorian, painted white with dark-green trim.
It’s enormous, and again I feel safe, as if nothing unwelcome can touch me here.
A thick hedge of pink roses lines the perimeter of the yard.
It’s blooming spectacularly, and its fragrance fills me with rapture.
Aside from the song of sparrows in the treetops, and the gentle whisper of wind through willow trees, it’s blissfully quiet.
But then the back door of the house swings open on squeaky hinges, and, to my utmost delight, Scooter rushes out.
He runs past a man who has stepped onto the covered veranda.
Scooter swerves around him and barrels down the wooden steps.
My heart swells with joy. “Scooter!”
I drop to my knees and open my arms. He tackles me, and I laugh.
I topple backward as he licks my face. Flat on my back on the grass, I shut my eyes and mouth while his tongue laps at my cheeks.
I breathe in his distinct doggy scent, which I’ve missed so much, and I hug him and kiss him over and over.
I could stay like this forever, rolling around in the grass with my beloved dog, but something appears in my peripheral vision.
I turn my head to the side and take in a pair of bare feet in brown leather sandals.
Slowly, my gaze travels up two muscular calves to a pair of well-worn khaki cargo shorts.
Remembering my manners, I gently push Scooter off me so that I can sit up and say hello. But the sun blinds me. I raise my hand to shade my eyes as I squint up at the tall man. He’s a silhouette against dazzling sunbeams, and that’s when I know who it is.
It’s Jacob, my love.
In my disbelief, I become exultant, immersed in a state of eternal contentment, but oddly unsurprised to see him.
Though I was flying over the valley with no known destination, I realize now that I felt the tug of my first love and the lure of the country house we would have shared together—for our entire lives—if we’d not gone hiking that fateful day.
“You’re here,” Jacob says.
The sound of his voice flows through me like a river.
“Finally.” Impatient to hug him, I’m clumsy as I rise. I nearly knock him over with my embrace—just like Scooter did to me moments ago when he tackled me to the ground. I fling my arms around Jacob’s neck and exclaim ecstatically, “I’m so happy to see you. I missed you so much.”
But none of this feels real. It’s like a dream.
“I missed you too.” He draws back to hold me at arm’s length. “But what are you doing here?”
I don’t want to answer questions. I want only to look at him. He’s older, like me. His hair is still thick and wavy, as it was in our youth, but it’s partially gray. He’s remained impressively fit, and his eyes still hold that beautiful unconditional love I’ll never forget.
“I drowned,” I tell him.
His eyebrows pull together with dismay. “How? Where?”
“At Peggy’s Cove. I was swept off the rocks.”
He shakes his head, not willing to accept it. “That wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“My thoughts exactly,” I reply, feeling suddenly unsteady on my feet, lightheaded. “It was awful.”
Jacob stands back and takes in my appearance.
His gaze lingers on my face before it sweeps down the length of my body to my bare feet.
Only then do I look down at myself and realize I’m wearing denim shorts and a plain white T-shirt, which is not what I was wearing at Peggy’s Cove.
But I suppose it’s summer here, and this is comfortable and appropriate, except for the fact that I’m not wearing shoes.
“I’m not sure what’s happening,” I say, mystified.
“Are you sure you drowned?” he asks.
I glance down at Scooter at my side. He’s sitting on the grass, panting heavily, looking up at me with wonder. I lay my hand on top of his head. “Yes. I sucked water into my lungs and lost consciousness, and I watched myself convulsing—from outside my body. Then I went still, and I sank.”
Jacob nods, as if this is normal.
“No one could have rescued me in those waves,” I continue to explain.
“You know what it’s like at Peggy’s Cove after a storm.
You can’t get a boat around those rocks, and it was February.
The water was close to freezing. Even if they could have gotten a rescue boat out, I wouldn’t have survived more than a few minutes in those temperatures. ”
Jacob’s breath hitches, and he exhales with gentle empathy. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.” He pulls me into his arms again to offer comfort. “It must have been frightening.”
I cling to him as I remember the panic and horror. “Yes, but you know all about that.”
I’m referring, of course, to our fall from Cape Split.
“I do.” He steps back. “But thankfully, after I died, I wasn’t scared anymore. And I knew you were going to be okay.”
“You held my hand on the beach,” I say. “And you talked to me.”
“I did.”
“But how was that possible? I was told you’d died instantly.”
He shrugs as if it’s nothing. “I stuck around for a while because I didn’t want you to be alone and scared.”
I finally understand what truly happened that day, and I rest my cheek on his shoulder. “Thank you for not leaving me.”
“I’ll never leave you,” he vows. “I’ll always be there, watching over you, looking out for you, and loving you.”
Another balmy breeze whispers through the branches of the weeping willows, and the chapel bell rings. I feel peace and love in these familiar arms and decide that if this is to be my eternity, I will accept it. I won’t look back.
If I do, this sense of peace might be lost.
Jacob cups my face in his hands. “You’re still beautiful.”
A tear rolls down my cheek, and I smile. “So are you.”
“Let’s go inside.” He takes hold of my hand. “I want to hear all about your amazing life—your success with your business, your husband and children. I’m so proud of you, Sienna. You did great. You really did it.”
Scooter nuzzles my hip. I lay my hand on his head and stroke his smooth ivory coat. Love wafts all around me, and it’s unfathomable, beyond my comprehension. This is where I belong, and the solace in my soul is perfect and true.
Hands clasped in warmth, Jacob and I cross the green lawn toward the back steps of the house. As we climb them, I take in the two white rocking chairs on the veranda, a vase of fresh wildflowers on the table between them.
Suddenly I tremble with anticipation. I hear music—the most triumphant, glorious chorus I’ve ever heard in my life. It fills me with awe, and I sense the presence of my parents beyond that door. I can feel their love, deep in my soul, and I can’t wait to see them.