Chapter Twenty-Five Callum #3
"I know," Sophie murmurs. Her hands rise to cover mine, still holding her face, like she's trying to anchor us together. "I know."
For a couple of moments, we just exist together in our own little world. Sophie takes a deep breath, then another, like she's trying to keep herself together.
"I was scheduling the chemo, the treatments, and... he just said it," Sophie says, her voice even and steady. "That he's been cheating on me. It honestly didn't feel real. I could have sworn that I misheard him, because there was just no way."
She pauses, scoffing a harsh laugh. "He had told me that he was going to Haunts to hang out with Chris and Brian, and instead he would go to her... and they would..."
I press a kiss to her temple, feeling her hands clutch mine tighter, almost desperate.
"Elise is beautiful. She's blonde, tall, tanned, and cancer-free.
They would have lunch together all the time.
I thought it was just a casual coworker thing.
He said the employees at City Hall were like family.
I trusted that Elise was just a coworker, that he loved me and no one else.
And then he went and fell for her. He talked to her about me, about my cancer.
Then he fucked her, the day of my biopsy. "
This is the most she's ever spoken about Paul, and about finding out about his infidelity. And each word she says makes me more pissed. How could he do that to this extraordinary woman in my arms? How could he treat her like that? How could he even look at anyone else?
He didn't cheat because Elise was beautiful, or because she's better than Sophie in any way—and I can guaran-fucking-tee that she isn't. Paul cheated because Paul will do what Paul does best—choose himself.
Sophie takes a deep breath. "And when he told me what he did... it was like someone took a wrecking ball to the love I had for him. It didn't make it disappear, but it broke it beyond repair. Now, I don't feel anything for him. Not even hate, not anymore."
She shrugs, meeting my eyes. "Maybe a little hurt, but I think that's just going to be an echo forever. I had never felt pain like that before—not even when they told me I had cancer. I'm done with Paul. Forever. I'm just... I'm scared that one day you'll feel how he did."
"Sophie..."
"I know!" Her voice rises with urgency, but her eyes plead for understanding. "God, I know it's so not fair! I keep telling myself that, and I know that you're nothing like Paul. Literally, you are quite the exact opposite of him, but still..."
I don't feel hurt, I don't twist her words into knots.
I absorb them, I feel what she's telling me, not just what she's saying.
It's not that she doesn't trust me. It’s that she was given a very hard lesson two months ago in trust and how easily it can snap from betrayal.
She's speaking from a place of fear, from a place of deep hurt.
You don't coax an injured animal out by roughly grabbing it.
You build trust, slowly but surely. Sophie trusts me.
I can say that with full confidence. She allowed me to shave her head and share those vulnerabilities.
Now I just need to back up the promise in my words with action, by remaining present, by showing up for her.
"You went through something that rocked your trust after having your entire world upended," I say gently, pulling her closer. I lean down, pressing my forehead against hers, eyes closed, breathing her in. "I get it."
My arms wrap around her waist, holding her tightly, wanting to prove that I'm not going anywhere.
"But I'm not running, Sophie. I won't. I'm staying, no matter what."
She shakes her head against mine, a tiny smile blooming through her tears. "I know. And... God, Callum, you mean what you say. You show up. You're still here. You had literally just met me, and I trauma dumped all over you guys, and you... you didn't run. You didn't even look tempted to run."
"I wasn't."
She pulls back just enough to look at me, brows raised. "Not even a little, huh?"
"Not for a second," I tell her, no hesitation in my voice. "Why would I?"
"I mean... because you didn't sign up for this," she whispers, sounding so tired and so broken.
My arms tighten around her instinctively, keeping her from breaking apart.
"You didn't sign up for cancer, for a girlfriend whose appearance is going to change drastically. For a girlfriend who might die—"
"And my mom didn't sign up for her happy ever after to be cut short by a heart attack," I say, my voice quiet but absolute.
Her mouth snaps closed. She blinks once, twice, and I press a kiss to her forehead, giving myself a moment to find my words.
"Callum..."
"Grief tore her apart for a while after he died.
She was the one who found him, who had to call an ambulance, knowing that he was gone already.
She had to wait with his body as they came and declared him dead.
She wasn't herself for a long time after he was gone, and honestly, there's still a piece of her that went with him. "
Sophie reaches up and cups my cheeks, and I turn my head to kiss her palm before I continue, "And if she had known that from the beginning, if she had known about the agonizing heartbreak and devastation that she would have to go through one day, would she still have pursued my dad?
Yes, she would have. Because that meant choosing him, choosing happiness and love, for whatever time that they had together.
Those years she had with him were worth it. "
A tear tracks down Sophie's cheek, and I pull her closer. "Any amount of time with you will be worth it, and I want it all. You are worth it, sweet girl."
She smiles at me and wraps her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly, our height difference forcing me to crouch. I'm suddenly very aware of the soft things pressing against my abdomen.
And my mouth starts moving.
"And I mean," I admit, knowing my face is red.
"Your breasts are phenomenal, just like every inch of you.
" She laughs, the sound vibrating through my chest and making me smile.
"But they don't make you who you are. They're a part of you, but they're not you.
Also, I do have a bone to pick with them since they're literally trying to kill you right now, so I say take them away. "
"Callum..." she giggles, and I turn my head, kissing her temple.
"You're still my Sophie," I murmur against her skin. "My sweet, sweet Sophie. I just want you—in whatever shape you're in. With hair, without hair, without breasts, with them... when you're old and gray, and I am too, and we laugh so hard our dentures fly right out of our mouths."
"That's a long time you're talking about..." she says, pulling back to meet my eyes, searching.
"I know," I nod, my hand trailing up and down her back. "I don't know if you've met my mom, but she's big on manifesting. On speaking things into existence. Figure it's worth a shot."
She smiles at me for a long moment before she sobers, a little more serious as she admits in a whisper. "I want that too, Callum."
"You do?"
"I want you, Callum."
"I'm yours, Sophie," my voice is pleading now as I demand the only thing I'll ever demand of her. "Tell me that I'm yours."
"You're mine, Callum," she promises, eyes sparkling, no doubt in her voice. "All mine. And I'm all yours. Only yours."
I lean down and kiss her, one hand holding the back of her head, the soft fuzz new but not unpleasant. The other wraps around her waist, anchoring her to me. I kiss her long and slow, savoring the feel of her lips against mine. Her taste. Her scent.
Then I do it again. And again. Because I can, because I belong to her, and because she belongs to me.
We spend the night eating comfort food, then cuddle together on her couch as we watch our movie of the night—my favorite.
Sophie's pressed right against my side, head resting on my chest, and our hands linked together across my stomach.
I close my eyes through the movie, when the emotion comes bubbling up and threatening to spill over, when parts of the movie hit a little too close to home, and I press my lips against Sophie's head, feeling her burrow even closer in response.
"This is true love. You think this happens every day?"
I mouth the words against her head and pull her closer. I don't have the courage to speak them aloud, not yet. It's too soon, and I want Sophie to set the pace. I can be patient, because I adore this girl more than anything in this world.
And nothing—not cancer, not her ex-fiancé, or any insecurities—will ever stop that.