Session Seven
SESSION SEVEN
DESERT FLOWER THERAPY
“What, specifically, was Gabriel's flaw?” Dr. Ruben crosses one leg over the other, capturing his knee with his hands.
“It was the first time I realized Gabriel was capable of keeping something from me. Lying.”
“Did he lie?”
“He waited months to tell me about Nash. It was a massive part of his life, this experience that shaped him. It felt like a lie.”
“A lie of omission, then?”
“I suppose.”
Dr. Ruben bounces his leg. “People lie all the time. Every day. It’s human nature. It doesn’t mean they’re being outright deceitful. It just makes them human.”
“So it should be acceptable?”
“That’s not what I said. Most lies are told to protect a part of the person lying. To protect the ego, the image, the pain, the shame.”
The last word confuses me. “The shame?”
“Oh, yes. The shame most of all. We tend to protect our feelings of shame, because we abhor it and never want to show it to others. So we cover it up, we create stories around it. Lies, fibs, half-truths, call it whatever you want. At the end of the day, they are stories.”
My stomach twists uncomfortably. I can take all of what Dr. Ruben said and apply it to Gabriel, but that’s not what has me feeling nauseous. It can all be applied to me.
“So when Gabriel told me about his brother…?”
“He was pulling back the curtain. Erasing a lie and replacing it with truth. He was showing you that which shames him.”
I nod slowly, thinking back over the conversation from that night. “It humanized him. Which was a good thing, I suppose. Until then he’d been this mythical person. The realization that he was human was, I don’t know, a little unnerving.”
“Tell me, Avery, do you think it was fair to hold Gabriel to this high of a standard?”
“No, it wasn’t.” I sigh, disappointed in myself. “He had so many wonderful qualities, and I didn’t want them to be marred by anything that wasn’t positive.”
“Good people can do bad things, and bad people can do good things. One does not exclude the other. In fact”—Dr. Ruben holds a finger aloft—“several things can be true at the same time.”
I’m still processing, but Dr. Ruben continues. “So, you go on and move in with Gabriel?”
“Yes. Pretty soon after that. Like the rest of our relationship, we didn’t waste any time.”
“How’d your dad handle it?”
“Better than I would’ve guessed.”
“Why do you frown when you say that?”