37. Elsa
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Elsa
Haven stroked his thumb over the back of my hand and down along the edge of my wrist. His touch was soothing yet also distracting. But then, Haven distracted me all the time.
“What do you hate admitting, sweet Elsa?” His low voice spun around my heart.
“I just feel so stupid. I wanted an asshole like Brad to like me. When he showed up at Heartfire Falls, all I could think waswhat an idiot I’d been .
It’s not just him. He’s kind of the pinnacle of me being a foolish girl, trying to impress people who aren’t worth my time.
He pushed every button on my insecurities.
” I cleared my throat, feeling that familiar sense of shame.
“Sweetheart, we all make mistakes.”
“Did you ever date somebody who treated you like that?”
Haven’s gaze slid to mine. “Not specifically somebody like Brad, but life’s life. I’ve done dumb shit.”
I eyed him skeptically. “I know better now, but more than once, I believed my heart was broken by guys who weren’t even worth a shred of my time and energy. I just feel so stupid. Brad was so confident he could take advantage of me again.”
Haven squeezed my hand. “Elsa, you figured it out when you were ready to figure it out. You weren’t stupid.
One of the things I love about you is that you really wear your heart on your sleeve.
I know that’s kind of a cliché, but you do.
You’re kind to everybody. You give everybody a chance.
Maybe sometimes that means you’ve given people a chance who didn’t deserve it.
But…” Haven let out a weary-sounding sigh.
“I’m the cynical asshole who assumes the worst of too many people. ”
I squeezed his hand now. “No, you’re not.”
His gaze flicked to mine as he rolled his eyes briefly before shifting his attention back to the road. “See, you’re going to try to be nice about it. But even before our dad died, before the fire, and before Bree died, I was never that guy who was going to give everybody an easy chance.”
My heart flipped over in my chest. “Maybe not, and maybe I am too trusting. I appreciate that you’re trying to put a good spin on me being foolish.” I let out a little laugh. “But I did figure it out. Of course, I thought I was being all slick with you.”
“Slick? What do you mean?”
“As if I could do this thing where I would keep it casual.” I paused because everything felt like a lot . “I’ve been half in love with you since the first time we kissed.”
“Well, I told you I had a crush on you in high school.”
He couldn’t see me, but I rolled my eyes. “Maybe so, but it was just high school,” I insisted.
“When we had the argument, you said that thing about me keeping my distance and how you understood what that meant. I know I do that, and I know it’s not helpful,” he said. “Also, just ask my brothers.”
“Ask your brothers what ?” I pressed.
“How big my crush was on you.”
“Oh, my God,” I mumbled, my cheeks heating in the darkness.
He shook his head. “The truth is you were my high school fantasy.”
“What?!” I yelped.
“All the way. You were the girl next door, and you were so cute and funny. You were always nice. Meanwhile, I was the big, awkward guy.” He shook his head with a wondering sigh. “So yeah, you were.”
I gaped at him. He flicked me a glance, then returned his attention to the road.
“Now you know the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help me God,” he teased.
“Wow,” I breathed, trying to absorb this.
For the first time, I sensed just how honest Haven was being.
“Look, you’re that girl for me. You always have been, and I need to be clear about something.
It’s not like I was angling when you needed a place to stay.
I figured I’d have to keep my shit together, but I also thought that old crush was nothing much. I was wrong on that count.”
I squeezed his hand. “Wow. My life would have turned out so much better if I’d known you had a crush on me back then.”
Haven shook his head. “I think our timing is better now. We were young, and you moved away.”
“I know, but?—”
“Elsa, our time is now. We get to keep all the good things.”
“Thank you,” he said a moment later after quiet had stretched between us.
“For what?”
“For giving me a little more understanding about what was behind all your feelings around Brad.”
“What? I don’t have feelings around Brad.”
Haven circled his hand in the air. “The situation. You know what I mean.”
“Oh, okay. By the way, that’s all resolved. Between you and Janet’s lawyer friend, Brad backed off. Not like he had anything other to do other than try to bullshit me, but I haven’t heard a peep from him since. By the way, thank you.”
“For what?” he teased.
“For telling me you had a crush on me in high school. You were the older guy then.”
His chuckle vibrated through my body. “I guess I was, huh?”
“Youguess ? It’s plain math.”
When he snorted, I started laughing, and then we both were. By the time it petered out, I was breathless. I needed that laugh. “Thanks for coming to help with the whale.”
“Anytime you need help with a stranded whale, I’m your guy,” he said matter-of-factly.
My throat felt tight with emotion. “I know you are.”
“I’m not going anywhere. You know that, right?”
“I know. You’re stuck with me.”
“I’ll keep you,” he teased.
We fell quiet as he drove through the darkness with a few pauses for moose crossing the road. Just as we turned onto the drive that led to Heartfire Falls, the lights from his truck illuminated a cluster of animals ahead.
My mouth dropped open. “It’s a pack of wolves!” I whisper-shouted.
Haven’s teeth flashed with his smile. “It is. We don’t see them much. I know they’re around, but they lay low.”
We watched as the pack ambled across the driveway. I counted eleven. “My dad used to say there were wolf packs around, but I never saw them,” I said. “Usually, I heard coyotes calling at night.”
“They’re clearly comfortable here,” Haven said as he swung his hand across the dash.
They weren’t in any hurry and didn’t seem bothered by the truck’s lights illuminating their way into the trees.
When we walked into the apartment a few minutes later, Haven kissed me, and I tumbled into it. Things heated as fast as a flame racing through dry grass. I almost lost my balance, and we broke apart, gasping.
“Shower,” Haven said.
I didn’t need further instruction. He kicked the door shut behind us.
Our clothes were tossed in a tangle as we made our way across the room, stumbling into the bathroom.
We showered together with messy kisses before we made our way into what I now thought of as our room.
Haven bent me over the bed, and I sighed when his fingers delved between my thighs.
“Oh, sweetheart, I missed you so fucking much,” he rasped.
I savored the feel of the hot kisses he dropped down my spine. “Hurry.” I was so impatient.
I let out a sigh of relief when I felt the thick press of his crown at my entrance and the delicious stretch when he filled me in one deep thrust. I was desperate and needy. Everything was a rush when he reached around, teasing his fingers over my swollen bud.
My climax was a fiery burst exploding through me, his name the only word I could say as I trembled. I cried out when he withdrew. He turned me around and eased me over the bed, murmuring, “I need to see you.”
When he filled me again, my climax felt as if it never ended. One rolled into the next as he rocked into me deeply, his eyes holding mine. One hand cupped my cheek, and the other laced with mine as we clung to each other in the storm that spun around us.
That intimacy felt like a net of sparks and love holding us together. “I love you,” he whispered before bringing one hand between us to tip me over the edge once again. As I shuddered against him, I savored the heat of his release filling me, whispering through broken breaths, “Love you…”