Chapter 6 - LEO
I’m sitting on my sofa, my mind getting lost in what happened at work today. Ethan. I keep replaying it. Not the whole day, just that moment in the corridor, when all that mattered was to remember how to breathe.
I’d been carrying a stack of internal mail, thinking about nothing important.
Lunch. The ache in my shoulders. Whether Sarah would be in a better mood tonight.
The corridor was quiet, polished floors reflecting the ceiling lights like crystal clear water.
Then I turned the corner too fast and walked straight into him.
When I realized who it was I thought I would get fired on the spot.
Ethan is hardly known as the chillest boss.
When he grabbed my arm to steady me, the world did something strange.
It didn’t stop exactly, but it slowed enough to become unbearable.
He was closer than anyone that powerful had ever been to me before, as a matter of fact, closer than any man has been to me before.
Close enough that I could see the faint shadow at his jaw, the precise stillness of his mouth, the way his eyes didn’t widen in surprise like a normal person’s would.
They were just… focused. Locked. On me. Call me crazy, but he fascinates me and it’s concerning.
I think it’s because he is not like anyone I’ve ever met.
There is something that doesn’t sit right with me.
I’m not sure if strange is the right word for him but he’s very different.
I just can’t put my finger on it. I felt anxious being so close to him, like he was dangerous?
I don’t know if that’s too dramatic, but something feels off about him and it’s a gut feeling that won’t shift.
It should deter me away, but somehow it’s drawing me in.
When he spoke to me his voice wasn’t angry or shouty, but with the low tone of authority, he may as well have screamed at me.
As his eyes honed in on me I just froze.
I’m nearly the same height as him but his presence is oppressive.
Those dark eyes studied me like I was a problem he’d already begun solving.
Something about his attention was wrong.
Not aggressive. Not flirtatious. It was more clinical, like he wasn’t looking at me so much as through me, filing away what he found useful, what he found fragile.
It was unnerving to have somebody so openly trying to read me.
I stood there like an idiot, gripping the mail too tightly, pulse racing in my neck, while he just watched me.
It went on too long for normal social boundaries, which is another thing I have noticed.
The pause was long enough for my thoughts to unravel like a ball of wool.
Long enough for awareness to bloom under my skin of how close he was, of how easily he occupied the space around him, of how small I felt standing there with ink-stained fingers and a borrowed confidence.
After his dismissal, I walked past him on jelly legs, while every nerve lit up like I’d brushed against something charged. I didn’t breathe properly again until I reached the mail room, safe within its four walls.
Now, hours later, I still feel it.
The way his eyes stripped me of flesh and bone. The way his presence pressed into me without touching. The humiliation of knowing I’d been clumsy in front of someone who looked like he’d never been clumsy in his life.
I tell myself it was nothing. Just nerves, but I’ve never been this nervous around another person before and it’s thrown me.
I’ve never been seen like that, as a detail that mattered.
And that thought unsettles me more than the collision ever could.
“Okay, I won’t stay out too late,” Sarah’s voice penetrates my ears, and I turn my head to see her standing by the front door.
She looks nice. Dressed in tight black jeans and a blue cami top with her leather jacket finishing the look.
She’s out with her work friends tonight, and I’m glad.
That means no more lectures on where I need to improve in my life.
“You look good. Have fun,” I say, and she smiles and blows me a kiss before leaving the apartment.
When did we stop saying “I love you” before one of us left? When did we stop hugging goodbye? When did we transition from a couple in love to distant friends? Is this what happens in marriage? Who the fuck knows. I’m finding it hard to care.
I need to get out of the apartment before it gets dark. Run off some of this stress and overthinking. Being stuck inside this shoebox makes everything feel ten times more heavy.
I head to the bedroom and quickly change into my running gear, joggers, t-shirt and my sneakers. Finished off with my headphones, I grab my keys, head out of the door and make my way to the park. Time to get that blood pumping.