Chapter 14 - Leo
What the hell am I doing? I thought I had a plan when I stomped across the city, with every intention of telling this fucker what I think about him.
But all sense of reason has left my brain since walking into his space.
The penthouse has his smell embedded into everything around me, like he has scented it, claimed it as his territory.
It’s an alluring smell, and weirdly I like being here.
I’m not sure what it is, but his home feels soothing, completely hidden away from the world.
I’ve stormed in here with no plan, but when rationality makes an appearance, maybe it’s best to hear out his terms so I know I have made the right decision.
I’m still annoyed with Sarah, but the reality of my situation is that the money could give us everything we have dreamed of, even if it’s in a lewd manner.
Maybe I’m overthinking everything. It’s just sex.
We all get something out of it. Who knows…
it could make my marriage strong again. With that kind of money I can hand in my resignation straight away, I would never have to see Ethan again, and it’s not like this will be advertised to everyone we know. Nobody would know.
I watch Ethan, who is still standing looking out of the window at the bustling city and my heart is pounding waiting for his response.
It’s only just now I notice that he is in shorts and a t-shirt, his sweaty aroma indicating he must’ve been working out before I showed up.
Fuck, he is big. Those suits hide that hard muscle all over his body, the prominent veins on his arms, the thick ass, firm thighs and large calf muscles.
All covered by miles of smooth tan skin.
Suddenly my mouth feels full of extra saliva which shocks me enough to move this interaction along as these thoughts are freaking me the fuck out.
“Did you hear me, Ethan? What’s your plan?
” I ask and he turns, looking at me right in the eye with a soft smile on his face.
That’s when I notice the deep dimple on his right cheek.
I bet the fucker got everything he wanted as a kid with that dimple.
But then it registers I have never seen him smile before.
“Why don’t you make yourself at home? I’m gonna shower and bring you the contract I already had written up,” he says.
“Wait, what contract?” I ask, confused.
“I mentioned it last night. It’s just between us, so you can’t claim you were forced into this and try to destroy my life.
It includes an NDA and is purely to protect me.
Nobody but us and my lawyer would know about it, Leo.
Now, take a seat, I won’t be long,” he says, and heads off down a corridor that’s behind the kitchen entrance.
It feels awkward just standing here on my own.
I force myself to try and relax and to stop fidgeting.
Wandering over to the window, I take in the view.
It’s spectacular to see Manhattan at this height.
It makes me think about the old adage of, “You never know what goes on behind closed doors.” That’s so true…
has anyone else in this city been offered millions for a night of sex with their boss?
Unsure of how much time has passed, I’m still watching the city as if I have been put in a trance when I feel Ethan walk back into the room.
My back heats as he approaches behind me and the strong smell of earth and spice hits my nostrils.
I resist the urge to turn and face him, desperate to gulp down more of his smell.
This is fucking stupid. I’m more convinced now that he has sprayed the room with an aphrodisiac, as there can be no other explanation.
A hand touches my lower back, which causes me to jump at the contact. I look over my shoulder where Ethan’s face is so close to mine. I want to berate him, but I think I’ve swallowed my tongue.
“Let’s go to my office where I can go over the contract, it’ll be more comfortable,” he says, and walks away. Of course I follow like a duckling, falling into line and not questioning him. Since when did I become this guy?
Entering Ethan’s office, I’m taken aback again at the luxury of it and that damn view.
The whole penthouse is surrounded by walls of windows, making me wonder if his bedroom is the same.
Would he want me here? Or would we meet at a hotel?
So many questions and I don’t think any response will make me feel less uncomfortable about this.
Taking a seat across from his large shiny black desk, I sit back in the most comfortable chair ever, fuck, I could fall asleep in this. The leather is super soft, the cushioning is like being on a cloud, engulfing me in something akin to a hug.
“Comfortable?” Ethan asks.
“Very, these are fucking lush. Money does get you quality.” I realize my error in that comment, wanting to slap myself.
“It certainly does. I only ever pay for the best,” he says with an almost growl in his voice. I don’t miss the insinuation of paying for the best. It takes all my energy not to scowl and storm out of here in a temper.
“Let’s move on,” I say, wanting this to be purely transactional.
“The contract is straightforward. The amount of money agreed for one night. No rules for what happens, I am in full control. Full sex. We will both need to be tested beforehand as I plan to fuck you bare. You or Sarah cannot discuss the arrangement with anyone,” he says.
“I think that’s unlikely considering I’m straight,” I mumble. Ethan shrugs like it’s not an issue. “Full sex, you say? Does that mean…” I let the words drift as I’m too horrified to ask the question while clenching my ass at the same time.
“I will be fucking you. All night. You will learn how to cum from just my cock in your ass, Leo. You’ll love it.”
I’m paralyzed. Ethan is so robotic at work, but talking about sex he’s so fucking dirty and descriptive. I genuinely have nothing to say. Luckily, Ethan is so unbothered, he continues to talk.
“So, do you want to take the contract away and discuss it with your own lawyer and Sarah?” he asks.
“Fuck no, I don’t want anyone finding out about this. I’d die of embarrassment taking this to a lawyer. But I do think I should talk to Sarah, read it over together,” I say.
He nods slowly and we remain seated, it’s like time has paused as we just stare at each other.
The connection between us is like we are having a telepathic conversation, I can read how much he wants this from the hard determined look on his face.
His hands clasped on top of his desk so tightly, as if it’s taking all his energy not to have me right now.
I know he can read the confusion and wariness on my face, but I think he can also pick up on the slight hint of curiosity as all I can think about is what it will feel like to be touched like that.
Intimately. Not just by a man in general, but by him.
The office becomes stifling, all I can hear is our breathing that has shifted from the human need for air to labored breaths of want and a shitload of sexual tension.
I need to get out of here before he brainwashes me further, as that’s what this feels like.
Forcing myself to stand takes so much energy, and I shake under the weight of my hands pushing myself up from the chair. Yep, I need to get out of here.
“I’ll be in touch,” is the only thing I can think of saying. Do I shake his hand? What’s the etiquette in this situation?
“Remember, Leo. Seven days to decide before the offer is retracted,” he says, rising to his feet as he moves around the desk. For a moment I think he is going to approach me, but he walks past me, opening the door and waiting for me to leave.
With a simple nod I quickly rush out of the office and head towards the elevator.
I need air. I’m relieved he hasn’t followed me as I couldn’t cope with him in my space.
As the elevator doors close, taking me back down to the entrance, I let out the breath I have been holding on to.
Now I need to work out how I move this forward with Sarah, ignoring the new gut feeling that this will change my life and not necessarily for the better.
Walking back into my apartment, my brain is just as fuzzy as it was when I left Ethan’s. Maybe talking it through with Sarah will clear my focus so we can just move on with our lives, one way or the other.
Sarah is sitting on the sofa reading her kindle, she looks wary as I sit down next to her.
I thought I knew what to say when I came home, but words fail me.
Removing the paperwork from my jacket pocket I hand it to her, letting the words on the contract explain everything.
This is so fucking surreal. I keep my focus on the small TV in the corner, noticing the layer of dust on it as the light streams in from the window, reflecting the smudges across the screen.
“I don’t understand. When did you get this?” she asks as I turn to look at her. The small scrunch in between her eyebrows conveying her confusion.
“I went over to confront him. Somehow it ended with him giving me this contract and suggesting we discuss it. After seven days the offer is gone,” I say, refocusing my attention back onto the TV like it’s the most fascinating thing I’ve ever seen.
The awkwardness I feel discussing whoring myself out with my wife makes me want to be anywhere else so I can pretend this isn’t happening.
“Leo, I thought you had decided not to do it. What changed?” she asks as I feel her small gentle hand grab mine, a comforting move as she strokes her fingers softly over my knuckles, and it does help calm my nerves. But it’s not real. Any tenderness from Sarah disappeared months ago.
“I just wanted to hear him out. Like you say, it’s a lot of money. I don’t want to lose our home and I want our marriage to work,” I say, letting the honesty roll off my tongue. It’s time to lay all the truth on the table. We may be unhappy now, but there is always hope.
“Leo, we’re in this together,” she says, resting her head on my shoulder.
I slowly inhale her familiar coconut scent which wraps around me with the warmth of home, taking me back to the days in Ohio when we would cuddle on my sofa as my dad hummed around the kitchen.
It’s the only thing about her that hasn’t changed, her coconut shampoo scent.
“I hope that’s true, but I’m not convinced.
If I don’t do it and we lose our home you will resent me, maybe not to my face, but it will create a barrier between us.
And if I do it, how do I know you won’t use it against me in any argument?
How do we know that you won’t be jealous or put off by me after?
” I ask, wrapping my arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to me.
This is physically the closest we have been in a long time.
“I’m a big girl, if you do this then it’s nothing but a transaction.
I know it’s me you love, Leo. Besides, you’ve never been into guys so I’m not worried and it’s not as if you will ever see him again after.
But I would never resent you. We could always move if you went through with it, we’d have the money to start again.
Somewhere outside the city, a house with a garden so we can have our family.
Hopefully enough room for your studio. We could have everything,” she says.
“I thought my sculptures were stupid?” I ask, as she has never encouraged me before. I’m not dumb enough to not be aware of her sudden change in attitude. Sarah always used different ways of manipulation to get her own way.
She pulls her head back so she can look up at me, I try so hard to see the woman I fell for.
“No, I just thought it was a waste of money and effort when we are barely floating above water. With that kind of money, it wouldn’t be an issue,” she smiles and gives me a gentle peck on the cheek.
Closing my eyes for what feels like an eternity, I dig up the courage to look at this logically. It’s just my body, not my mind or my soul. I can cut off mentally for a night, treat it like a one stand that means nothing. Pretend it was one big drunken mistake in order to get through it.
“Fuck it, okay, I’ll do it. Like you say, we can move away and it’s only for a night. Just as long as you promise you won’t hold it over me?” I say.
“I promise. I love you, Leo,” she says, and I can’t think when we last said those words.
It feels nice, but my head knows it’s not true.
I don’t think she loves me, and I’m not sure I even love her, but we can live in denial a while longer.
This money could be what brings us back together again, re-ignite the love that’s been missing for so long.
“You too,” I say as we cuddle up, the heavy weight that was surrounding us suddenly gone, but is now replaced by another feeling. Fear. Fear of the unknown and fear of losing everything, including myself.