Chapter 24 - ETHAN
Something is wrong with Leo. I’m not sure what, but he’s not acting like he normally does when I’ve seen him within the workplace.
I can see Leo and Danny from my office as they make their usual rounds and it takes all my attention, like Leo always does.
There is something different about the way he moves.
He’s slower and his face is emotionless, which is new.
Even on his self loathing days there would be a frown, or he would chew his bottom lip like he was holding back an outburst.
It is Danny that alerts me to the change when he speaks to Leo too loudly, like he isn’t getting a response.
It’s the way Leo drops a stack of envelopes and doesn’t curse as they slide off the desk.
And it’s because, for the first time, he doesn’t stop and perform his mundane small talk with the girls.
I lean back in my chair, tapping my pen against my lip while I think. I’m reviewing financial projections which have now become unimportant. As Leo walks past my office, he doesn’t look up like he usually does, he has no reaction at all. Acting like I don’t exist.
I watch him disappear down the corridor, shoulders curved inward as if the world has increased its weight overnight. I’m frustrated that I don’t know what he is thinking, or what has happened. The need to go after him and to demand for him to tell me what his problem is, is hard to hide.
Deciding to do something about it, I exit my office and follow the direction that he and Danny left in.
I follow them down to the mailroom and notice the lack of conversation, although Danny is trying his best to get Leo to talk.
Danny walks into the mail room first, so I take advantage of calling Leo’s name.
“Leo.”
He startles and turns quickly to face me.
“Yes, er, sorry Ethan.”
What the hell has happened? The usual spark in his eyes has gone, and we’re left with a deadness that makes fury rise into my throat, needing to know what’s happened so I can fix it. The exhaustion on his face is palpable.
“How much sleep have you had?” I ask.
“I — I don’t know.”
“You do.”
“Two hours maybe,” he admits. I nod.
“Come with me.”
“I’m working.”
“I’m the boss, and I’m telling you to come with me.”
I don’t wait as I turn to head back to my office, knowing that he is dragging his feet behind me. Inside my office, he stands near the door like he might need to escape.
“Sit. Now,” I say and he turns rigid.
“I’m fine.”
“I won’t ask again. Leo.” A long sigh leaves his pretty mouth before he sits in the office chair, eyes glazed over, begging for sleep.
“You dropped three envelopes earlier, you forgot to look at me and you haven’t spoken. Why?”
“I had a bad night.”
“Why?”
He opens his mouth, but quickly closes it, debating if he should tell me.
“I argued with Sarah.”
Of course it’s to do with her. That woman is going to be the basis of every problem we have unless I sort her out. I should contact Marcus and see if he has any information yet as it’s taking too long.
“She said some shitty stuff, I said some shit back, ended it and then she left. That’s pretty much the cliffnotes.”
“Where did she go?”
“I don’t know, but it’s over.”
“Good. Now you’re free.”
“Do you have not even an ounce of sympathy in your body? My life has gone up in smoke, mainly because of you.”
“No I don’t. You’ll be waiting a long time if you think I’m ever going to care about shit like that. What matters is that I’m in your life.”
“Ethan…” he starts, but he’s unravelling. The fight leaving his body more each day. I’ve finally got him broken down enough to keep him in the palm of my hands.
“I’m taking you out tonight,” I say.
“You’re gonna what now?”
“You will leave work early.”
“I can’t.”
“I’m not asking, Leo. This isn’t a request.”
“You’re a controlling prick, do you know that? Where are you taking me?”
“Somewhere no one knows you.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to observe you when we are in the open, without you being feared to be seen.”
“That’s not comforting, sounds like I’m being taken somewhere to be murdered.”
“I wouldn't make such a fuss if that was the case.”
He rests his stare on me. He didn’t like that comment.
“Don’t joke about stuff like that.”
“I’m not joking. But you’re missing the point. I want us to be seen together on my own turf, show you off.”
“We’re not together, Ethan.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. Just accept it. Your life will be easier than fighting it. Now get back to work and tell them you are leaving early.”
He nods faintly, before standing to leave my office. I watch him until he disappears, happy that he is conforming to my requests. Excited that my plan to keep him is nearly complete.
Starlight is not somewhere you find by accident. You are led or you are invited or you bleed into it through some flaw in your life.
Leo stands beside me outside the door like a nervous animal pretending he’s fine when he clearly is not.
“I can’t go in, what if someone sees?” he says.
“Yes you can, and who gives a fuck? You’re with me.”
The music inside is low and heavy, like a heartbeat filtered through smoke. I place my hand at the small of his back and push him rather than guide him further into the bar. He stiffens at first but follows my guidance.
Good boy.
Inside, the lights are dark enough to erase sins but bright enough to reveal intention. When I look over at the bar, Dima is already there flirting with his husband Seb, along with his brother Lev who I haven’t seen for a very long time.
They look up when they see me, but they quickly all shift their gazes to Leo, assessing him to see if he’s a problem. I notice it clicks with Dima who Leo is, as the asshole has a smile that appears brighter than the sun. As we move over towards them, I immediately regret coming here.
“So this is him,” Dima says, talking like Leo isn’t right there.
“This is Dima,” I say and point. “And Seb, and that guy is Dima’s brother, Lev.”
“Hi, nice to meet you,” Seb says, shaking Leo’s hand. Lev goes back to his drink and doesn’t even speak, Dima, however, is giddy.
“No handcuffs?” Dima jokes and Leo turns sharply to face me.
“What?” I ask.
“Handcuffs?”
“They thought I was kidnapping you,” I say, as Dima laughs.
“Ethan was very vague when he mentioned you. I wondered if you were real,” Dima says, and I say nothing. Dima studies Leo openly, his head tilted in thought.
“How fragile,” Dima murmurs.
“I’m not fragile,” Leo snaps.
“Ignore him, he’s a dick most of the time. Go sit, and I’ll bring some drinks over,” Seb says, and I’m grateful.
Dima’s eyes slide to me and he holds up his hand in a ‘you first’ gesture as we walk over to Dima’s booth that’s always reserved for him, Seb is not far behind with the drinks.
Leo drinks his like he’s exploding from thirst, gulping it down fast before coughing.
“No need to be nervous. We’re not that bad,” Dima says to Leo, which makes him relax a little. But I’m on edge now too as I don’t want to talk.
“So, what do you do, Dima?” Leo asks, and I'm pretty sure the bourbon is working fast on him as he relaxes a little more.
“I own this club and own a few other businesses,” he says, being as vague as possible.
Dima is a criminal. Some might say mafia.
This bar and his strip club are covers for his drug business, which has expanded into a supplier business too, now that he has a new business partner.
Some Brazilian guy I haven’t met, but I don’t really give a shit. It’s not my problem.
Dima glances at me with a brow raised in question that I haven’t told Leo about the company I keep.
“I need to use the bathroom,” Leo says before getting up from the table and walking over to the rest room.
“You’re on edge, what’s wrong?” Dima asks.
“I don’t want questions tonight. Too soon.”
“Fair enough, but don’t take too long if you intend on keeping him around.”
“I know.”
“He’s hot.”
“And you’re dead if you say that again, Dima.”
Dima only chuckles as I take a sip of my drink and see Leo from the corner of my eye, starting to walk back over to our table. But he stops as an older man from behind him grabs his arm, standing too close, saying something to Leo that makes his expression strained.
“Relax,” Dima urges, but I’m already up from the table.
The older man is now tightly holding Leo’s wrists, and Leo is trying to move, the alcohol in his system making it harder for him to fight back. The heat inside my body is an inferno of anger as my world narrows. My veil has dropped as I approach.
“Get your hands off him,” I say, as Dima stands next to me. Waiting for the inevitable. He knows not to interfere.
“Fuck off,” he says.
“You are touching what does not belong to you,” I say, voice low, and the older man only sneers at me.
“Relax. I was just offering the cutie a drink.”
“You’re still touching him.”
The man laughs. My reaction is fast as I strike him, before he collapses into confusion and blood and shock.
But that doesn’t stop the maniac inside of me.
All I can see is his hand on Leo. I grab this guy by his collar and I punch his face, over and over and over.
I feel no pain, I don’t see or hear anything else around me as the hard bone beneath my knuckles cracks under the pressure of my punch, the wet sound of blood sings like a dream the more I connect with this fucker’s face. I’m in my element. I’m free.
“Ethan!” I hear a shout from behind me. Leo. I stop briefly, and turn to see his face pale and mouth agape. Why is he so surprised? Did he not see this inside of me? Sense it? If he’s expecting an apology, he will be waiting a lifetime. This is who I am and who he will have to accept.
“Well that’s a fucking mess,” Lev says from next to me and I look down at the guy. Half of his face is so swollen and bloodied there is no way I would recognize him. I can’t even tell where his nose is.
“Is he dead?” Seb asks, and Dima checks.
“Who cares? Dumb fucker,” Lev says, and I agree. Some people never take the warning and they push you to show you mean business. It’s not my fault.
“Nah, he’s breathing. Just dump him out in the street, someone will pick him up,” Dima says and he begins to argue with Lev over who should be the one to get rid of the old man. The perv.
“You do not belong to the public,” I tell Leo quietly, but he remains frozen. Quiet. I’m actually starting to get annoyed that he still doesn’t get it.
Leo looks down at my hands that are swollen and covered in blood. I expect an argument, or a dramatic display, but he just nods and doesn’t pull away when I grab his hand and lead him out of the bar.
“That’s fine. Just leave, I’ll clean up your mess,” Dima shouts after me, but I ignore him. Only focused on getting Leo back to my place.